Please Help Me! I want to stop taking Percocet

[spcyry22]

I am sitting at my desk at work and I don't know what to do.  I need someone who has been through this before to tell me that it is normal and that I can get through this.  I decided after an admission/breakdown to my boyfriend yesterday that I indeed have a severe problem with prescription drugs and need immediate help.  At the age of 19 I was in a bad car accident and wound up with a herniated disk and nerver damage.  I was put on opiates to control the chronic pain.  At 24, I have a full blown drug addiction and feel like I will never be normal again.  I tried to go without one this morning and was unable.  At my job, I am crying and shaking.  People can definitely tell that something is wrong and unfortunately I have to work so I took one just to get through right now.  But I can't take one every day just to get through right now so I don't know how to get through a work day with these symptoms and be able to function.  I can't get fired.  I currently take a quantity of 4 10/325 Oxycodone pills per day.  If it bothers my stomach I will take a 10mg Valium to put me at ease to feel less of the naseua.  I want this drug to be COMPLETELY out of my life, but I am afraid that 1) I can't 2) Life will not feel good unless I take Percocet to MAKE it feel good.  Can someone help me or even just give me some words of help or comfort?  I am at my wit's end with this bottom feeding life I have come in to and want to change.  HELP PLEASE!!

[beachtowel]

I remember like it was yesterday I felt just like you hopeless,  useless, lost...........
I couldnt do it on my own when your that deep in the insanity of addiction you can't do it alone....you need help, can your boyfriend help you........if u truly want to quit you need him........

Addiction is huge, its evil and it is very well organized.........
you need help and a game plan.....
Plan it out.........have a good plan and someone you love and care about there to help you........

[spcyry22]

I have a question - how do people not overdose on 40?  That seems like soooo much!

[spcyry22]

I think my stomach would explode if I took that many a day.  I don't know how you did it lol!  

[spcyry22]

He's been clean for quote some time....always says his biggest fear is that I will let this rule my life for too long like it did his.  He is the absolute best man I could ask for.  This probably would have been too much for most people, but upon our conversation last night he comforted me and promised me that although it will get and feel much worse I need to get it under control NOW.  I am so thankful for him.  I don't know what I would have done without him.

[bettie1976]

i got banned. lol. MIA....

[road2recovery]

I knew he sounded like he knew what he was talking about...Good man...How long is he clean??
yes, you have your whole life ahead, you are doing the right thing..I never dreamed i could take 15 a day, when i use to take 1 or 2, and clean and supermom, then sure enough 15, and i have seen more of like 40 a day on here..
Good luck
R2R

[spcyry22]

My boyfriend is 20 years older than me and a recovered drug addict.  His biggest piece of advice is to not wait to handle this problem because life goes by too fast.  He also says my biggest advantage is how young I am and that I can address it now so the rest of my life can be functional.  Thank God for the rationale of others when you yourself have none.

[road2recovery]

you are so welcome..We are all addicts here are in love with one..SO if your boyfriend wants to read that would be a great idea
We are good people with the same disease
I am 39, married to a wonderfull, successfull man, i have a very successfull buisness myself, and get to stay at home as much as i want.
I have 4 beautifull children who love me to death....And i am an addict and alcoholic..When i was 24 i would of never in a million yrs would of said i could get addicted to pills...never...i promise it creeps up on you..For me thank god it has only been 2  1/2 yrs of almost everyday, then 2yrs of high dose of everyday.
Keep fighting the real you will come back
R2R

[spcyry22]

I can relate to the physical.  Those weird feelings in your legs are the worst for me.  

[road2recovery]

yes yes yes, your b/f is a keeper, and right on track..Beleive me you will take his pills if you keep down this road..I am a mother of 4 and ihave taken from my own kids..Pittifull..
Not counting family members when i saw them around..Start slow, dad first, then get over that first...

give yourself some time, dont' tell eveyone at once, it may push you over the edge.
you are one that will make it...you are so young please do it now.
R2r
and keep reading

[spcyry22]

Thanks for the kind words.  Having the OCD on top of all this is lovely; a compulsive habit for someone with pre-disposed compulsive behavior.  I just want to have a real life and get this **** out of my system so I can be someone who is not moody, nasty and uncaring.  This seems like a great forum.

[spcyry22]

My boyfriend has already talked about taking the pills and putting me on a tapering schedule.  Thanks for the recommendations on the dosages.  I am so lucky he is as great as he is.  I think that my family just thinks I'm a ***** because I am so moody and nasty all the time.  The truth is I just want to be left alone so I can be high by myself.  My boyfriend also said that I have to sit down with my dad tonight and tell him what's going on because he is prescribed Percocet for back pain as well and my boyfriend does not want his pain meds to be accessible to me.  He also thinks that it will help if I start telling my loved ones what is going on instead of hiding it.

[road2recovery]

that is one of the first things i noticed..ISn't that terrible...well at least they have their moms back..Where have you been???
R2R
you went A-WALL a little while? i was worried about you chick...

[bettie1976]

i dont snap at my daughter anymore either....funny how that works...

[road2recovery]

you are at the right place..That is a low dosage , you should do fine, with maybe a couple days off of work...I was taking 15 10mg a day, got down to 5 and went c/t from there..I am over 30days clean...Feeling better everyday..I don't snap at my kids anymore., and that is one of the best things.

hey i have OCD terriblly..Why i could not follow directions???  ummm...maybe i have the oppisite
DCO---DON'T CARE OBVIOUSLY....
Stay with us ok, we are all here to help
R2R

[3grlz'mom]

Sorry to keep posting - but get this - I remember telling my pain Dr. specialist that I was having those wierd zingy nerve sensations in my arms that wouldn't let me rest at night, and all he kept saying was "no, that's not related to the fracture....that wouldn't be happening because of your injury...".  HE couldn't even put 2 and 2 together!  Why am I paying him the big bucks?

[fishmeal]

There are medications like ativan and clonidine that help the wd's and aren't opiates.  The longer you stay away from all opiates the better.  There are other meds that are stronger and are also opiates but you are at the lightweight stage and can beat this thing without those.  Please, for youself, try to stay away from the "opiate detox" drugs if you can, and do the non-opiate detox meds.  You may have to go through a little discomfort but it's way worth it.

[3grlz'mom]

What was interesting to me, too, was, that after I was prescribed these things (back injury) I would take as need, like the bottle says.  And like most people, some days were better than others.  So I wasn't paying close enough attention at first to the times when it might have been awhile since I needed a pill and boy, did I feel like garbage!  Why does it feel like I am wearing a lead suit this morning?  Did someone switch my regular to decaf as a joke?  Is it April 1st?  Why was I getting these weird zingy sensations when I would go to sleep in my legs and arms and everywhere that wouldn't let me go to sleep and made me feel like I had to jump out of bed quick and move around or run around the block or something?  I was thinking, "is it the mercury in the tunafish I keep reading about?"  I laugh now because I couldn't put 2 and 2 together.  How devastating to realize I had an addiciton and was going through w/ds!!  Over and over again.  Why didn't the Dr. tell me about this?  He's a pain management specialsit!  Was this in the small print???

[3grlz'mom]

"Emotionally erratic" is accurate for most of us on these, and we know it.  The pills are not perfect either.  The pain relief is one issue, but that "feeling of well-being" we get is pretty short-lived, isn't it?  And then we get foggy, disconnected sometimes irritable.  Sometimes taking more results in just being zoned-out.  We'd all have stopped this long ago if it weren't for the w/ds.  I get so angry and sad sometimes thinking of all of the people suffering like this out there, who don't know what to do.  I love "google"  and "Yahoo"!!!  :)

[OhioVicoguy]

Hope you're doing well, and hanging in there! I had a mild set back yesterday after moving furniture, by myself, with my surgically repaired rorator cuff.....ouch....so,I'm not "clean" at the moment....over the course of 4 hours, I've done 3 vicodin 5/500's.....will go lay down soon. AND I called a sober friend to take charge of the additional roughly 150 pills....mixed vics, vic es's, percocets, and percocet 7.5/350's.....even though I'm in pain......I will keep just 2, and let him store the rest. Hope you're doing great!

[bettie1976]

Nah, dont worry about whining thats what were here for and we ALL do it! :) Since your bf knows, can he hold them and you guys work out a tapering schedule? So you said your taking 40 mgs a day, cut down to 35 mgs a day for 3-4 days, then cut down another5 mgs for 3-4 days, then keep doing that til you at your last week or two. Then start chopping those babys up into halves and quarters and take em throughout the day. But have your bf hold them and give them to you the way you guys set it up. Those were the my doctors instructions on how to taper. I never could. I just put em all in my mouth. My mouth loved those things too much to wait 4-6 hours! Wait? WHATS THAT? You can do this if you are able to taper like said and give em up to bf.

[spcyry22]

Your post is exactly what I needed to hear.  Thank you.  Reading my post I feel like a big baby, but I know you guys understand.  How fortunate I was to have typed in "How to stop taking Percocet" in Yahoo search and found this.  Thank you again for the kind words.  

[spcyry22]

Thankfully I have a touch of OCD and always follow dispensing directions to a T.  So it says 4 times a day, and I never take more of that for fear of death.  I stopped for a couple of days several months ago and as bad as the withdrawls were after a couple of days I felt like a human being again, not a drone.  I think that my biggest fear, outside of the withdrawls that are only temporary, is that after being on them daily for 5 years I won't know who the hell I am without them.  But, after an intervention with my boyfriend last night and him telling me how emotionally erratic they make me, I would rather have to figure out who I am now then continue to take them and be someone who people don't like.  

That is a lot of Percocet you were taking.  I feel kinda bad whining now since I am taking such a small amount compared to others.  Was it better to do lower dosages until you are off or go cold turkey?  The side effects from missing just my "morning dose" were unbearable.  

I have graet boyfriend, great parents and a great life and I am tired of ruining it.  Thanks for the words and I hope to be in your shoes soon!

PS. Upon realizing what a problem this is, I can say that I want it.  I am scared out of my wit at this point.

[3grlz'mom]

You have come to the right place.  There are so many people here who have been through this already - are going through it right now - or are getting ready to do so...we all help each other.  These pills put us all in the exact same spot.  Our bodies and minds go through such hell when we stop the pills that they keep us on the roller coaster even when we want to get off desperately.  You CAN have a normal life again, and there are many people who can share what has worked for them.  Stay with us, keep reading and keep posting and you will find the information and support - incredible support - that you need to do this.  It is not easy.  You need to decide how you want to quit - some go cold turkey, some taper down and find it less uncomfortable, but that requires you to be very disciplined.  Most people here seem to have pitched the pills for good and gone c/t.  Going to work through this is almost impossible for many of us - w/d symptoms can be like a bad flu.  Plus, for me, I couldn't stop the crying - I cried like from my soul like I was mourning the loss of my child or something.  This is how I felt!  I know I looked like a basket case and there was nothing I could do about it.  Can you take some time off work?  W/d starts 12-24 hours after your last dose, then the worst is over after about 5 days.  The worst of the physical symptoms, I mean.  Emotional symptoms can linger for a while - a few days or weeks for some, longer for others.  Some of us still have depression and anxiety that lingers, some still crave the pills regularly. But we still help each other through those time - check the posts - you'll see some on day 1, some on day 10, some on day 60 and they are still posting for support!   But if you can get through the first week - you are well on your way.  Hang in there - keep reading - this forum will become your lifeline - it is such a gift - these people are such a gift from God!!