Please Help!

[ConfusedbyThis]

I have been reading these post and I'm not sure if they make me feel better or more shaky!  The reason I'm here is because I could use some advise, from people that really know the things that I don't.  My situation is a little different.  My fiance, (of 10 years and 3 kids) has started taking pain pills over the last 2 years or so.  I see what he's doing through his behavior but this is something he always denies and would NEVER let me come across his pills.  He hides them in his truck.  The few I've come across was in his presence (one's he pulled them out of his pocket when trying to give me some change, the second I confronted him after I saw him digging in his truck because I had caught on by this point)  anyway, sorry, the few I've come across I have flushed.  I have zero tolorence and he would be devastated if me and the kids left.  He's such a good man but I don't like him when he's high.  Do people tell you this?  Here comes the first hand fear of these pills that I have had.  On July 4th of 07, just a few months ago, his Uncle died of an accidential overdose.  He had slept most of the day and his wife heard some strange noises coming from the bedroom. She immediatly knew something was wrong. She called their two grown boys, that lived on the same acrearage so not far.  They came up and he hemeoraged right in from of all of them and died as the ambulance arrived.  His uncle had been the beginning sourse of these pills, he had lots of surgery and cronic pain.  I spent alot of the last few months of his life angry with him and not trusting him and this makes me so sad.  He was also a great man.  
Now, he finally admitted that he had a problem last Monday.  Me and the kids were on the verging of leaving because I'm so upset and hurt by his addiction.  He went to his MD and he prescribed him Clonidine. .1mg in the morning.  His blood pressure was 208/140 when he went in.  THis med was to reduce the blood pressure and also eleviate some of the withdrawl symptoms.  It's been 1 1/2 weeks and here's where I am so confused and don't know what to do.  I havn't seen him go through any withdrawl at all.  He's been happy and up and about. We both work for his father and we don't have much work now so we're home a lot.  I'm just not feeling like I'm seeing a person that hasn't had a pill in 1 1/2 weeks with such an addiction.  He's pretty tough willed but I think that he's still taking them, but after reading this, maybe he's doing a taper plan.  I have already been thinking this but I din't know what to call it.  There has not been one day that his behavior is like before, but there have been days that his face was red (involuntary but happens every time).  Not as red but trust when I say he's not stopping cold turkey.
How do I handle this because I feel like I'm not going to help if I can't let go of this anger.  If I saw him go through the withdrawl and was done taking them I would be okay.  Should I trust that between the Clonidine and his "taperplan" he will prevail.  As you can imagine, nobody that gives him pills (he's never had a script) will talk about it in front of me!  I'm not sure about this addiction except for him and what I've read.  Please give me some advise!!

[ConfusedbyThis]

Thank you and I will be posting!  

[VicUser]

It may also be that he was on a low enough doseage that the w/d didn't have any obvious signs to you. I was taking 3 5/500 vicodins a day, for years, and had very minor w/d symptoms. I am not even sure if my wife noticed, because she didn't know that I had stopped taking them until I told her a couple weeks afterwards.

Talk to him. If he is evasive about answering you then I would suspect that maybe he's not on the up and up. However, many of us have been or are embarrassed to admit that we have a drug problem, even if we are abiding by the Dr prescription and defensive at first.

[IBKleen]

Hello and Welcome!

I have to be honest, I think something just not right. I cannot imagine that he is not feeling the physical withdrawal. After a week and a half, it would have been over, but the first few days is hell.

I can only suggest that you try and talk with him and see if he will get honest with you. Sit down calmly and express your concerns. Do not attack him or yell at him he will not be truthful under those conditions.

Hang here. It is quiet today but as others come in, they will advise. Take care.

[toxictome]

Why can't you ask him if he's doing a taper plan? He already knows you know about the pills. Tell him you want to help and you'd like to hold the pills for him...that way he'll be accountable to someone...if he gets pissed i can only imagine that he is probably not telling you the truth.

If he agreed he has a problem ,why not have him get on this forum and have him start reading...it may help him.....
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And he is only going to stop, if HE is ready.... Keep posting