Please help.... Hydrocodone is tearing my life apart

[Indpendent]

Hello,  Just want to give a little back grond me my addiction before I ask my questions. I have been taking a form of hydrocodone on and off for the past 10 years for cronic pain. For the past 3 years I have been taking on the average 20-25 pills a day. I used to blame my pain for my pill use but as most of you know this is just a line of bulls--t. The most pills I have taken in one day is around 45 pills. I normally take vicodine ES and lorcet. I have a 2 year old daughter and I have never spent one day with her not on pills. My wife is pregnant with our second kid right now and I have to get off this damn pills before I end up killing my self plus I am spending wayyyyyy to much money to support my habbit.

My question is should I just try to quit cold turkey or should I gradually cut back till im down to a lower dose per day? Right now I do about 20 on a good day and about 30-35 on a bad day and there are alot more bad days then good. I have to beat this so please any help would be great. Im so sorry about the grammer and spelling but  my mind is racing so bad i can barely think.

Thanks,
John

[chrosty]

Hey
Speaking from someone who has no room to talk i take on average 12-13 7.5/500 hydro a day and when i try to quit cold turkey it is complete torture and hell. My advice to u would be to taper esp on the amount u take per day. I also deal with medications on a daily basis at work and i would say that many per day would require a taper meaning wean yourself off. I have no room to talk because i am powerless when it comes to these pills also and i have taken up to 20 a day once in a while i have been on them for three years straight. One more thing a very big thing keep coming to this forum. I have met some pretty wonderful people here and they are so supportive here and even if u screw up they will still be here for u. My suggestions~Keep coming here and taper off those damn pills i hate them and i love them at the same time. Good luck to u and my name is Chrosty (ON here) im on alot and will be here for u if u need me okay. Hang in there we can do this Lots of luv Chros

[cowboyabc]

have you tried to taper before? are you taking 30-35 pills around the clock or just in the 12-16 hour you are awake? Tapering has worked for me. I can share if you are interested?

[chrosty]

I am interested in hearing how u tapered off! I have tried many times to go cold  turkey with no success. Now i got two refills of my hydro from doc but he wants me to taper Please share with me how u did it (Not to butt in ) :) Please get back to me and thank u ~LUV TO YA ~Chros

[Kirsten1818]

My husband has recently had many problems with pills as well. When he tried to go off the first time we went to the doctor and he prescribed a prescription to help with the withdrawls symptoms and such. Also what has helped him alot is going to a counselour and Narcotics Annonomous meetings as well. I go with him to support him and they seem to help both him and I get our feelings out and feel supported.

[Indpendent]

Thank you very much for  the ino. Im to the point that I have to quit..... When I first started taking them this last time life was great. I would only take 2-4 a day and they would make me feel good and I was happy. Now The only time I even really feel anything off of these damn pills is if i do 8+ first thing in the morning on an empty stomach.  After the first dose up im pretty much done with the high. I can take 15 at one taime after that and ill be lucky if a catch anything.

I know I have a problem and I know I want to quit. I came here because no one in my life really knows how bad my problem is and I have no one to talk to about it.

Heres my plan... My body needs hydrocodone or I feel like death and will get sick, but I know I dont need 8+ pills per dose not to get sick. Im going to try to find the min number i need to take to knock the sickness out.  Once i get that number im going to keep doing that then take one pill per dose out till im down to 0.   I know im gonna feel bad still but do you think its better trying that then just  quitting cold?

[tmj85]

As someone who abused narcotics and benzos (valium, etc) for several years, be careful coming off the hydrocodone. Even though it is not as potent as Heroine, etc. it still is some heavy duty stuff... don't be afraid to ask for help!! Sometimes an outside person, people, place, etc can help us do things we can't do on our own. Believe me... I spent 10 days in Rehab. But I am clean now and have been for 6 months, so YOU CAN DO IT!! Good luck!

[chrosty]

Just wanted to reply to your last comment , and yes tapering i think would make it much easier good luck and keep us posted
Love to all~Chros

[Indpendent]

No I never tried to taper before. I work 7 days a week  10 hours aday ATM so my 30-35 intake is spread out from the time i wake up till i go to bed. I had a weekend off for easter and thats when I found out that I can not sleep more then 4 hours because I will wake up sick needing pills.  Im a mess any help will be great.

please let me know what you did cowboyabc.

[Kirsten1818]

Speaking from my families point of view my husband knows how you feel. And i probably know how your wife feels. I had a beautiful baby girl 12 weeks ago today. 4 weeks ago i bought a new car and when i went to go get money out of my personal savings account that i have saved since i was in high school there was 0 dollars in it. My husband has stole my card and somehow got money out of it.. After finding severall other things out we are curently around 10,000 dollars in debt more than i thought because of his addiction. Personally i have never been addicted to anything (other than mountain dew :)) so i dont understand it. But i do know its real. I know you can do this! Its wont be easy but i do know that its not a hole..Its just a bump in the road. What has got us through this hard hard time is eachother, this beautiful little girl, being honest, and our faith. Prayers work wonders too! :) Good Luck!

[cowboyabc]

posted a long taper reg above check it out

[Indpendent]

Kirsten1818 did your husband beat it? I really hope so. My addiction snuck up on me. Was all fun in games till I figured out that my body needs these stupid pills to be able to make it through the day. The money is killing me as well. Thats why I have been working 7 days a week for the past 2 years now. I figure minus the pills I get from the doctor I have to  take around 400 dollars a week from my check  for this stupid habbit. My wife was laid off from her job 2 years ago after our baby was born so we lost her income.
My lease was up on my truck last july so I turned it in and didnt get a 2nd car because I was telling myself  we couldnt afford it,But here I am spending1200-1600 dollars a month on damn pills. I am by no means a rich man.... it makes me sick when I think of the money I have blown in the past 2 years.  
Sorry for the rambles im just venting a bit=(

[larbec7]

I cannot taper, listen up, this is more a mental illness than anything else.  I went CT and through the pills a way, that way you have no choice.  As long s you have the pills you feel like you have to do them.  Just my 2 cents

[AJ10/325]

I know this is going to be hard but you CAN do this if you really wan't it.

This is going to be one of the hardest things you'll ever go through( was, or is
for me). I know myself all too well to try and go ct, tryed it many times and it just ain't gonna happen!!!   I have to taper and someone else has got to give me my dose(i am on methadone by the way)every day.

I have been in rehab several times but I guess I was just not ready to quit?
I started methadone a month ago today.  I was taking 10/325s of percs or whatever I coud get my hands on for about 4 years.  any where from 20 to 30 pills a day every day.

If you are truly ready to be done with this **** then I would think about rehab,
but you have to be ready, and sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Remember it took a long time to get like this and it's going to take a while to get through this. Don't try to rush or be in a big hurry, it is not going to happen over night. It is not just about getting clean it's about staying clean. Use the time while getting clean to work on getting used to NOT doing the things you did to get the pills.  Really, theres alot of things you need to change,. EVERYYHING!   People, places, attitude...............

Well i hope this helps.

AJ               i wish i could listen to my own advice!! he he

[ascott]

I was always on Vicodin. I graduated from college popping 2-3 pills during every class, plus popping at home. I spent so much money on these pills. I kept making excuses for why I took them. I was simply chasing the high. I would go to sleep and wake up figuring how many pills I had and what I would have to arrange to get more. I finally just got tired. More like embarrassed. I went cold turkey. Yes I know it is hard. But I did it. I was on the toilet, depressed, sick to my stomach. On the 3rd day I started to feel better. What helps me to stay sober is the thought of having to withdrwl all over again. If you have good support at home, try to go cold turkey. Take a few days off and just do it. It is so worth it. Just to let you know I was an addict for 5 yrs and have 2 children. Good Luck.

[MissyJoelle]

I will only be speaking from my experience so don't think I know my stuff.

Tappering doesn't sound like a good idea unless it is via a doctor. If you control the dose well you know what can happen. I tried it 2x and it never worked.

Next I went into rehab. I only staed 4 days because of my insurance. Can you believe they want me on methadone?  Hell no that is not for me. I wouldn't even do suboxone in the clinic. I ask myself why I didn't so much now.

Rehab didn't work. Mostly because I didn't seek out any meetings or out patient. So when I went back on percs over the past couple of months (ok side note my hubby just saw me texting and read my thread.  I never told me I went back on them because I didn't want to put him through this again well now he knows and I am sooooooo scared. He is my world, my rock, he sticks by me and I treat him so bad with the drugs). He asked if I was on them and I am not but I know tomorrow I will have a million questions to answer and I am so scared cause this time I can make it))

I realized I had to get off pills once and for all but how would I do this?  I did a ton of research on soboxone and listened to the info w/ an open mind this time. So on Monday I called a doc that uses suboxone and I went in on Tuesday.

I did the traditional detox meds in October and they didn't help. I still had some w/d symptoms. And I didn't feel like me. I got very depressed and lived with a cloud over my head all the time.

Well 30min after my first 2mg of suboxone I felt like me. I felt like the me of years ago before pills took over my life.

And this time I am doing out patient therapy.

So to answer your question you can't do it alone. Cause your brain will not let you. This part of your brain that addicts have (well me all have it just attacts brain acts differently. Your brain will always want the drug and if you have pills your brain will get what it wants.

And you don't have to do inpatient care. See in october I was naïve and thought my only option was inpatient.

So you have so many choices you just have to find one that workd for you. And if you are serious about cold turkey then you need to get someone to help you and control the pills. And someone that is strong and won't cave when you beg for one more pill.

My name is Missy (MissyJoelle) in my knick name for thos site. If you need anything feel free to reach out.

Good luck

[Kirsten1818]

He has not beat it yet... But he is working on it. When i found out about all of this naturally i was very very very hurt. But i finally came around and relized he needed help so i gave him the choice either to let me help him or to lose me and his daughter. And he chose to get help. So this is going to sound kinda like im being his mom but i took away his cell phone, debit, credit cards and took his name off of our accounts at the bank. So he only gets money from me when he needs it. And he cant get ahold of any of his "friends" or anyone to get any pills. He goes to counseling once a week, and we both go to narcotics annonomous once a week. I called his boss and let him know what was going on and he calls me as soon as he leaved work so i know wether he comes straight home or not. They also had him sign a paper so they could test him whenever they want to, which they do weekly. I know i probably sound very very controlling but i feel like its what i need to do. We have only been married for 8 months and haver a 3 month old daughter and him stealing and lying is not fair for us to have to deal with. He is getting much better though. Independant what i have learned from this all is you cant do this alone. Its a on going battle everyday. You need support. ALso you need to want to do it. Not do it for anyone else but you. Or it will never work. Goos luck! I have faith in ya!