Please help me get through detox :(

[NeedingHope4Me]

I know it is very different for everyone when they detox..BUT Im hoping for some type of help w/what to expect(what you experienced and how long and what you did to get through that helped)
I have Lupus & my body has always had issues w/horrible bouts of kidney stones.I was also born with congenital hip displasia had my first hip surgery in my late teens &back issues due to a bad car accident.
I was started off slow about 8 years ago & ended up after just one year going from a few Vicodin's a day to Fentanyl patches 100mgs& oxys for breakthrough pain. I lost my PCP(due to the HMO no longer being in exsistance & they wouldnt take cash or straight medical) &nothing instantly my DR wouldnt even help he refused to even taper me.BTW I was showing up to refill my script so i now had nothing immediately..I called every DR & no one would take what they consider a "cronic " care patient.I went through horrible withdrawals for a few days till i sadly decided to buy some from someone..I felt like a junkie &was miserable.Ive been getting them over the last 2 years this way including loosing every cent i had,pawning my possessions &begging everyone i knew.I wanted to die so many times.
I now have taken my very last dose of my fentanyl &have in my purse just 2 norcos.I have motrin &benadryl.Im going to have to do this no matter what..I need to know what your day 1,2,3 and up to week whatever it took to feel like the old you was like please..
Thank you very much in advance for any help..I may not be able to respond but i will be watching and hoping for anything helpful!!

[NeedingHope4Me]

I keep forgetting that we are so darn close its cool to watch..your leading the way for me ..lol Thanks Lovemomof2 !!|

toothfairie  thanks so much i have been realizing how much the small moments mean and im so damn greatful!!

You all have helped in so many ways its crazy..i feel like i have a whole secret family that held me up and i am darn glad cause i wasnt too sturdy lol Thanks everyone!! Day 8 here i am!!

[Lovemomof2]

That is awesome! I am right along side you....tomorrow will be day 8. :) Yesterday was tough, I tried to do too much. Today just rested and feeling better again. Here is to us feeling better every day. Glad you are doing better!!! Isn't it nice to have feelings again??

[toothfairie]

so glad you had that moment!!!!  they will get more and more often!!  so proud of you!!  ;)

[NeedingHope4Me]

Truthfully it said it all Bkitty..seriously !! :) Your huggz and love were puuuurfect lol <3

[Bkitty]

Sending you love (((hugs))) and support. I am sorry I just cant seem to find words today other than that!

[NeedingHope4Me]

I have to shareeeeee!! Im sitting up and watching a show and i for 20 min FORGOT i was sick!! omg..i was me for a second and i dont feel like crying and curling in a ball..wow there is no words for this site and you guys but my prayers answered..i have cried myself to sleep countless nights praying for someone who could help me and it was here..thanks so much..i know its just one moment but its MINE and im so damn proud i have happy tears and wanted to share..!!

[toothfairie]

hi....i know what you mean about no patience, i have none.....there are days....often that i want to feel better NOW....not a week or 2-3 but now......i know it's getting better but feels like it drags on sometimes......but you are doing SO great!!  we just have to learn to pace ourselves and know the good stuff will take time....thanks for keeping us updated....we are here for you!

[NeedingHope4Me]

Thanks guys for keeping me slightly sane..lol I just listened to random music and heard michael jacksons man in the mirror and have NO idea why i bawled so hard my tummy hurts ..awesome..

I am on day 6 now and actually dont want the meds as much as i want this because it feels like i gave myself no way out so now or never..oh wait I DID lol i have no dealer and no money for anything YAY ME!! ;) But i do admit that feeling of wanting instant satisfaction of all better me ..i in normal life have a patience tolerance of ZERO its so bad i stomp my feet and pout after five min of not getting what i felt i really wanted haha but thankfully i have learned over my 30 some odd years to control that impulse but wow with these strong meds its hard i wanna stop super hard ..

[toothfairie]

congrats on hanging in there!!  i know it's a rough road me and many many other people have been thru WDs.....but you have gotten this far!!  keep going!  we are all here for you....just keep posting and eat when you can but most of all hydrate!  you are doing great!!!  

[Pat1956100]

Wow, you are really going through hell.  I am not going to suggest you go out and get anything because I don't think you could do it right now.
As soon as you feel up to it (lol) get some boosts or ensures.  They are really easy getting down, taste good and are full of nutrients.  Also Gatorade.  You really need to keep hydrated right now because dehydration would really add to your problems.
I hope you will feel better soon.  Again, I have only detoxed from oxy and that was bad enough so my heart really goes out to you.
Keep fighting, and congrats on the shower and shave.  I bet you feel so proud for accomplishing that.

[NeedingHope4Me]

I just realized btw that its now 5 full days without anything ..wow..

[NeedingHope4Me]

Thank you for the moral support and for reminding me that this is as much for them as for me..actualy more for them tbh because i could have lived in misery as sad as that sounds but they need so much more from me as a mom..i was remmebering back when i was the best mom ever and I was PTA president and helped in each of their classrooms..I would bring fresh baked goodies at the end of every week and a new movie for the class anytime one came out..I have only been to my kids school now )NCE  in many years and it was because my daughter was graduating from elementry..i took plenty of meds and was still miserable but i did it and all i wanted was to be home in my bed staring at this stupid screen..thats the mom i became and thats the mom i no longer wanna be..i just saw my youngest get up and i could barely manage a "morning" for him and it sucked but i had one win today already and that was i got up and took a long hot shower and even shaved..i feel like i at least dont stink lol yay me it was BRUTAL i was shaking and couldn't catch my breath sooo many times..oh well a win is a win and i will take ANY at this point..ok well i am feeling like i need to eat as much as im terrified of it i have to ..so wish me luck and PLEASE keep writing ..i am only getting through this with your guys help i mean it!!

[Comingclean2012]

No need to feel bad that you can't be there for the kids right now! You are doing this for them as much as for yourself and all of you will be happier for it! I had the same problem but my husband helped a lot with my 2 little ones. Do you have family local that can help you with the kids for the next few days? Trust me once you start feeling better you will be amazed at how much more you enjoy your kids. I have a 3 and 8 year old and I felt like a horrible mom too when I couldn't even take care of myself let alone them for about 7 or 8 days! Now that I'm on day 26 I find myself just staring at them in awe and feel so blessed that I was able to kick the drugs and be the mom I used to be! They will love you all the more for the strength you are showing now to give them a happier, healthier mommy! Stay the path and keep us posted! It is SOOOOO WORTH IT! Good luck sweetie!

[NeedingHope4Me]

Thank you everyone i read your messages and it helped alot yesterday..I felt a tad less miserable for an hour or two then i ate and the RLS came back so strong i was crying..I am terrified of food now and i know that wont help me any :(  I am so yuckie that i dont wanna even see light of day..I am at the point where when i get up to go potty i can barely catch my breath and shake so bad i feel like im gonna fall for sure ..ugg I want to feel "normal" thats it i dont wanna feel terrific yet but just normal and i feel like it may be days and days still away and my kids want my attention and i just cant do it and makes me feel like the worlds worst mom being here in bed while they wanna talk or just ask a sily question and i say i dont care..its breaking my heart but i dont care yet and i wanna care so much ..i want to be ME so desperatlly ..sorry for the weird ramble im just a mess..

[Cheeky59]

Wow! Good for you, I chomped on those patches for more than 2 years, 24*7. I tried CT, no go. Had to do medical detox and now on subs. Tapering subs now. Please be careful, patches are the devil! You are much stronger than I.

[Lovemomof2]

I feel for you....I am on day 5 from a high dose of oxy. Today is the first day I have felt better. Just hang in there and try to sleep as much as you can. When you get down, feel hopeless like this will never end, try and get up and complete a small task or go for a drive (if you are safe to do so) and turn up the heat (I have been freezing) and listen to music. These are things that helped me. :) just accomplishing something helped my spirits so much. Also, l-tyrosine and immodium. I hope that helps. Someone (I think Pat) told me that I will feel better....so much better. You will see. Just hang in there, that's all you have to do. One minute at a time.

[Comingclean2012]

Hate auto correct! Lol meant wish i could say on DAY such and such you'll feel better and Aleve not alive! I know right now you are probably feeling anything BUT alive! Sorry for the typos and post often there is always someone online with words of encouragement! The people on this site helped me stay sane for the first 2 weeks! YOU CAN DO THIS!

[Comingclean2012]

Hi and welcome! I am on day 25 clean of fentanyl and it is a monster to withdrawal from! I wish I could say you'll feel better on on such and such but everyone is different. In my case I felt horrible for about 8 days. The worst is once the pins and needles under the skin feeling goes away(around day 5 for me) then came the flu on steroids feeling! Here is what helped me the most hopefully it gives you some relief: stay hydrated, start taking a multiple vitamin & b-complex for every, insomnia WILL set in if it hasn't already so melatonin and valerian root (both are OTC), Benadryl helped with anxiety a little bit ( I took 2-4 every 4-6 hours depending on how bad I was feeling) it will also help with the runny nose that will probably stick around for a couple weeks. Other than that hot baths for aches and pains and a lot of Motrin or alive depending on what your allowed to take. I know it's hard, FENTANYL IS A DEVIL to come off of but there is an end in sight if you stay focused! I can honestly say I started feeling somewhat normal after about day 12 and now I am pretty much back to my normal routine. Good luck to you and stay in touch with us, we WANT YOU TO SUCCEED! private message me anytime!

[Pat1956100]

Great job and getting rid of your dealer.  I know it's hard.  I don't have experience with fentanyl but have read it takes longer to detox from.
You are doing so well and I am sure you will start to feel better soon.
Make sure you are drinking lots of fluids.  I love Gatorade.  Also Ensures and Boosts help you with energy.
Eat as much as you can.  Force yourself even if you have no appetite.
You need your energy.  Soak in the tub to relieve the aches and pains.
You are almost there and doing great.

[NeedingHope4Me]

I am a few days in now and feel so sick i keep wondering when that feeling of me will come back..i did the right thing and when my dealer called i said no and made very sure they wont deal with me again..i cant help but wanna say sorry and get back on because im not me this way but i have read so many times that if i just keep going day by day it will happen and i have faith!! please keep me in your thoughts if you can..i need all i can get..i will post agagin when i can thank  you everyone <3

[OpedOut]

I think its literally called `restless legs`.  Yes your mood will elevate slowly but surely, even though it doesn't seem like it now, believe me it will.  Posting helps, let everyone know how your doing, when thou feel up to it .

[NeedingHope4Me]

Thank you so much for the encoragement.I am wondering when I eat the symptoms seems to increase so does it help to eat more to get over it faster?? or is it just for the energy and potassium..I actually am a bit worried because i do get pretty bad fast cause i have a deficiency naturally for iron and potassium..I typically take like four bags of potassium to get back to normal levels when i am hospitalized ..I take it at home when i have it but am out again..

[dominosarah]

Hi and welcome~

You have a good attitude and that will help you.  Wd'g is no fun and fentanyl does seem to hit a bit harder but this is doable.  Your pain will increase for a time as our brain plays games with us.  This is called rebound pain and it usually gets better with time.  It is hard to put a time frame on any of this as we are all different but usually the first 5-7 days are the worst.  The more you can be up and moving the better you will feel.  Get some bananas and eat them as they are high in potassium.  Hot baths or showers are good too.  Just know we are right here and will help you get thru this~

[NeedingHope4Me]

I forgot to say a big congrats for getting this far also I am very proud of you doing it!! I wish you the very best ..How long has it been for you..