Please support me during my withdrawal/detox

[Scout791]

Hello.  My nickname is Scout. I am a 57 year old female and I have been on oxycontin and percocet for 6 years (prescribed by a chronic pain physician).  For a number of reasons, I need to go off of these drugs. They are destroying my life and I feel sick all the time, as if I am in a constant state of withdrawal. I have tried to go off in the past and I never made it because the withdrawals were simply too intolerable. I am doing this alone and I was hoping that I could meet some friends here who I could communicate with on this board who can help cheer me on through this.  I am afraid if I don't have some support, I won't make it.  I think it is going to be very hard and take me about 2 months to even begin to feel normal (whatever that is supposed to be like) but I would like to see what it feels like to be a human being that is not on drugs of any kind. Please write to me as I would like to know I have some friends here before I begin my detox. God Bless you. Scout

[Scout791]

thank you so much. especially to know cleanmom that I can pm you and/or write through the night when I feel super alone.  I think by the looks of it, I am going to be devastatinly sick when I try again. actually i know this because i have tried it before.  I have to get everything lined up properly.. get my taxes filed, get my work caught up, get my bananas, and then tell everyone I am going on a vacation for 2 weeks where I cannot be disturbed.  I think it will be after April 15th when I will start again.  I was freaking out so much this morning when I was sick.  When you wrote to me cleanmom to breathe, it helped me so much so the encouragement here is going to be vital for me to make it. i have never asked anyone for help in my entire life and I can only ask here because it is anonymous.  i am a very lonely sad lady who is totally addicted to pain pills that make me crazy. when i took the pain pills this afternoon, i started posting to my friends on facebook as if I were such a happy person with such a good life -all lies. when i was going through withdrawal yesterday, everything on facebook looked miserable to me.  Life is difficult.. everyone's life seems so much happier and better than mine, but I know it is up to me to figure things out and to grow old pill free and enthusiastic about life.

[gnarly_1]

HI sorry to here your giving up....it can be extremely difficult to do....I tapered off methadone for 8 1/2mo and it wasn't till near the end of it I found this forum to help out
the forum will not quit for you...you got to want it bad...so bad you let nothing stand
in your way...yes the withdrawals su## but sooner or later we all go thew them..
if you cant do it by yourself you may have to check into a detox center ...there are always ways to quit when your really ready to..what works for some doesent work for others some people taper others go C/T because tapering is to difficult...others require
going into a detox center it dosent mean your weak it just means you need help to get free of the addiction...don't be so quick to throw in the towel just yet..many people try more then once to get free some people go thew it several times b/4 it finely sticks...the thing is don't give up because the first time you tried dident work out
get back up brush yourself off and try it again ...I struggled for 8 1/2mo to break free
with the help form God and this forum I finely did it 127 days ago and it is so so worth it..I hope you give it another chance you will find support here....not only from your posts but by reading the posts of others going thew the same thing as you...if I had a nickel for every post I have read here id be a rich man..its very therapeutic reading
the daily posts...I still take the time everyday to do it...you might want to get involved
with N/A or a substance abuse conslor to help you threw your difficult times it helps
good luck to you and God bless....Gnarly  

[cleanmom]

You are not alone. Please remember that. All of us here are or have gone through what you are going through. I am here for  you if you need some extra encouragement. You can always send me a message to my inbox or send me a pm. I am on quite often and i will respond as quickly as possible. We can help each other. I am on 20 days clean right now and it is very difficult for me some days, especially my emotions. Get back on the wagon, get rid of the pills, and talk with us as much as you need. Also, if you are having a hard time in the night i am quite often on then too because sleep is little for me right now. Maybe you could also find some meetings to attend or a therapist. These things are very important. You are in my prayers, you can do this!!! Luv, Jacky

[Scout791]

just took the drugs. i was hoping that people would support me here but the posts are too far and few between. when i got them, i did get encouragement, but i didn't ghet many responses.  i can't do this alone.

[Scout791]

I am on my 2nd day of tapering. I couldn't stand it much yesterday when I started to get restless legs. I will get some bananas today to see if that helps. I keep holding my breath to ward off the illness and I keep hearing that someone here told me to breath, so I try to breath.  I broke down and split 1 percocet throughout the 24 hours.  So I weaned off of 2 percocets that I would normally take.. and I am miserable just doing that. I took some benadryl and actually got about 2 hours of good sleep but I wake up all through the night. Right now I am sweating and holding my breath. Need to get into the shower and maybe that will help.  This is miserable and I am doing it the slow way.  I think pain pills should be eliminated from the face of the earth unless someone is in absolute dire need for them and our country should make a committment to those who really need them to keep that sick person supplied with enough medicine for a lifetime (versus forcing people to go to the doctor every month and go get refills every month) - but I am being idealistic.  I would rather suffer pain in my hand than pain in my brain like this.  

[Addict63]

Been thinking about what you're going through. How are you doing now? Get sleep any time it comes, your sleep will be upside down for awhile. Keep in touch with everyone. I would go online and read posts from folks in detox when it got bad. It helps to know your not alone doing this. You only need to go through this once. After your body is done doing it's healing, you never need to use again. You'll be free.

[Scout791]

I just burst into tears to know that i am not alone in this.  I so appreciate your encouragement.

[cleanmom]

Please breath! I know how hard this is but you are far stronger than the medicine, if you have some vitamin c take like 1000 mgs, i find it helps the cravings, also try some benadryl, it is an otc allergy medicine that will help  with nausea and help you to sleep through some of this. You will be in my prayers, Luv, Jacky

[Scout791]

it is already 8:30 and I am so sick and the thing is that I know that i am only going to get sicker. The thing about tapering is that we are supposed to not notice the withdrawal... but come on.. i can't function like this. i am holding my breath and starting to sweat.  I took a bit out of a 10/325 percocet (like about 1/8 of the pill) to see if just that little bit might give me some relief this early on.  I am all alone.  I wonder if I had someone that loved me if they held me at the worst of this if that would help and perhaps release some natural endorphins.

[janiek1955]

Dont forget to read Thomas recipe for detox, Im on day 28 now, i was taking about 100 pills a week, loracet and vicoprofin, i am clean and really starting to feel like me again. It really feels good to take control of your life. I went cd, i just wanted it over, i did it by myself with the help of the board here. its great support and nice just to have someone to talk with. Everyone here has been through the same, one thing really sticks in my mind and helps me is, you will never have to go through these bad days again. You can do this, you are stronger than you think!

take care

[Scout791]

May God Be With Me. I am starting the tapering process.  I have done this before and I get sick, very sick right away.  I took 1 10 mg. oxycontin at 4 am and it is 6:39 am and I am holding my breath and feeling very sick (nauseaous, feverish, etc.).  I usually take some percocet to fight against this illness.. not this morning.

Has anyone been through this who constantly holds their breath almost as if bracing against the sickness of withdrawal?

[Scout791]

I stick to the prescription for the most part but for the last month i found myself taking a little moer percocet in the day.. which means I won't have enough for ful days at the end of february but that is the first time i have done that in six years. thing is that i could go to my doctor and get a prescription for more pills. he would double my dose if i wanted that and i am serious.  i could not believe how easy it was to get the pain pills but the thing is i have a very very serious injury and my hand is ruined for life.

[Scout791]

I have talked to my doctor's pa when I wanted to withdraw. she knows absolutely nothing about withdrawal. she would call me in and charge me 200.00 everytime I wanted a lesser prescription of drugs.  it was abyssmal and disgusting that one of the best known pain clinics in the d.c. area know nothing about addiction and what these drugs really do to a person and how hard it is to withdraw.  the choice is mind to go off the pills or stay on the pills. my hand is really messed up and the pills definitely take the edge off of the pain but the pills have messed with my brain so bad that it isn't worth it. i don't remember things.  i feel awful and sick most of the time!!!  i feel my brain pulsing now and I am on drugs. I want to know what it is like to be sober again and to have a normal brain back.  

[Addict63]

Have you gone to your DR about wanting to WD? I'm on day 7 of WDs from Vicodin 7.5. Not as strong as oxys but they kick. I did it alone also. I thought about asking my DR for advice but did it one day at a time on my own. I went through the bad stuff and then NA meetings for support once I felt able to go out in public, lol, and plan to continue to go to meetings. I know what you mean "wanting your life back". We become slaves to opiates. I slowly feel my brain coming back.

[avisg]

Many here have sucussfully detoxed here .I can been done it has some hard times but for many of us it has been really worth it .Have U abused your meds and are addicted or are u looking to wd because they are making you ill ?  Tapering really helps go slow give your body time to adjust between drops it makes life so much eisier .Have you talked to your doctor about wanting to go off your meds ? Welcome...

[Scout791]

Did your friend make if off of oxys. Is your friend on this board. It would be so great to have someone who made it off of oxys to give me guidance.

[Scout791]

I feel so relieved to know that you are there. and that others are there.  I am reading through the other situations here.  I am not going to go cold turkey.  Right now I am taking percocet on top of the oxys so I will wean off of the percoets first and keep the basee of oxy's going.  I wil get to 10 mg of oxys three times a day and when I get there I will feel so sick and so deenergized and so depressed.. that is when I am going to be in serious jeopardy of going back on the percocets.  If I make it to that poinjt of 3 10 mg oxys three times a day, I will then wean down to 2 oxys (1 every 12 hours)... and then I will go cold turkey from that.  I'm so scared because I have been through this before and the suffering is human torture.  I'm so scared.

[Now50]

We are here, whatever you do, don't go cold turkey.  I had a friend on oxycontin and he almost went crazy when he ran out.  Start slow cut down by 1/2 to 1 less a day then you are prescribed until you work yourself off.  Some medicines could kill you if you go cold turkey.  Keep writing.

[Scout791]

HELP ME PLEASE!!!  Maybe I should not start my own chain here. Any advice is greatly appreciated. I am so glad I found this site as I love to encourage other people and I hope some of you will encourage me when I am so sick I won't even be able to type.