Aa
Pregnant & Need to quit oxycontin
I hope that someone has some advise. I've been lurking on this board for a few weeks, reading threads relating to my situation, etc... I'm terrified, feel horribly guilty (as I should), and just don't know where else to turn.
I am 33 weeks pregnant. Prior to my pregnancy, I was taking percocets or oxycontin for my physical pain. No, it has not been currently prescribed. From numerous injuries throughout the years of being an athlete, I've been suffering from chronic pain for about 10 years. I've also had numerous problems with on and off addictions to painkillers due to this. I quit going to the doctor a few years ago when I wanted to be completely clean and try natural methods to cope and have not talked to a doctor about my pain at all since. That only lasted a few years though, and in the last year and a half, I started getting them from friends. The thing is, before my pregnancy, I could turn it "off" and "on." I'd use them consistently for a while, then stop for a while and could control it.
Since I became pregnant, I've quit twice for a few weeks at a time, but both times, I just couldn't keep the willpower. I feel beyond horrible for not having the necessary willpower during such a time in my life when I should have the most, considering that I have this little girl growing inside of me and depending on me!
Now, it's even harder with all the pains that come along with the 3rd trimester. Especially with my prior back injuries (8 dislocated vertebrae and severe sciatic nerve pain, as well as the hip stretching pain).
The exact amount that I take daily is thankfully not as much as it was just a few weeks ago. I've gotten myself down to 1, to 1 and a half oxycontin 15mg's a day. I take 1 1/2 if it's a particularly bad day. Having a desk job doesn't help at all either with the pain.
I am due in April, and I want to be completely clean by March 15th. That's my target quit date. I know with just taking 1 or 1 1/2, it SHOULDN'T be too hard at this point, but I am terrified of the ramifications if I go into a withdrawal, such as pre-term labor.
Where the situation gets particularly tricky, is that my doctor does not know, nor does my husband (who is VEHEMENTLY against even taking TYLENOL for pain...if that tells you anything). I have been having regular prenatal exams since my 8th week of pregnancy. So far, all of my visits and ultrasounds have been great. Bloodwork and urinalysis's have all been good. My Quad screen was good, glucose good, etc... My doctor always tells me at all my visits that my baby is developing exceptionally well, has a great heartbeat, and considering how she moves, she is one VERY active baby! I've been extremely vigilant about my diet, vitamins, and everything. It's just this horrible addiction that is my horrible secret and biggest failure as a mother. I feel like the worst person ever for not being able to control this.
Considering my intake of 1 to 1 1/2 of OC 15mg's a day, what is the best way to wean down from that to minimize a traumatic withdrawal? What are good ways to deal with the anxiety issues that come with withdrawal (I have panic disorder as well and have a few leftover xanax from an old prescription that I haven't taken)?
Also, in the state of Ohio, if they have no reason to suspect any drug abuse (they wouldn't with me, there's nothign in my background, I'm 29 years old, married, stable job, stable family, and my doctor knows how vigilant I've been about everything related to this pregnancy), will they drug test my baby? I know if I quit before I deliver (several weeks), my toxicology would be clean, however I'm worried about if they tested her meconium. I can't lose my baby. I love her so much, and I know I will be a great mother to her (aside from this issue, which I am trying to rectify). I am a perfectly stable person except for this. I don't want her to come into this world in a horrible withdrawal. I want her to come into this world comfortable and healthy.
I am so scared right now with everything. Can anyone please offer some sort of advice on how to do this the best way possible?
I am 33 weeks pregnant. Prior to my pregnancy, I was taking percocets or oxycontin for my physical pain. No, it has not been currently prescribed. From numerous injuries throughout the years of being an athlete, I've been suffering from chronic pain for about 10 years. I've also had numerous problems with on and off addictions to painkillers due to this. I quit going to the doctor a few years ago when I wanted to be completely clean and try natural methods to cope and have not talked to a doctor about my pain at all since. That only lasted a few years though, and in the last year and a half, I started getting them from friends. The thing is, before my pregnancy, I could turn it "off" and "on." I'd use them consistently for a while, then stop for a while and could control it.
Since I became pregnant, I've quit twice for a few weeks at a time, but both times, I just couldn't keep the willpower. I feel beyond horrible for not having the necessary willpower during such a time in my life when I should have the most, considering that I have this little girl growing inside of me and depending on me!
Now, it's even harder with all the pains that come along with the 3rd trimester. Especially with my prior back injuries (8 dislocated vertebrae and severe sciatic nerve pain, as well as the hip stretching pain).
The exact amount that I take daily is thankfully not as much as it was just a few weeks ago. I've gotten myself down to 1, to 1 and a half oxycontin 15mg's a day. I take 1 1/2 if it's a particularly bad day. Having a desk job doesn't help at all either with the pain.
I am due in April, and I want to be completely clean by March 15th. That's my target quit date. I know with just taking 1 or 1 1/2, it SHOULDN'T be too hard at this point, but I am terrified of the ramifications if I go into a withdrawal, such as pre-term labor.
Where the situation gets particularly tricky, is that my doctor does not know, nor does my husband (who is VEHEMENTLY against even taking TYLENOL for pain...if that tells you anything). I have been having regular prenatal exams since my 8th week of pregnancy. So far, all of my visits and ultrasounds have been great. Bloodwork and urinalysis's have all been good. My Quad screen was good, glucose good, etc... My doctor always tells me at all my visits that my baby is developing exceptionally well, has a great heartbeat, and considering how she moves, she is one VERY active baby! I've been extremely vigilant about my diet, vitamins, and everything. It's just this horrible addiction that is my horrible secret and biggest failure as a mother. I feel like the worst person ever for not being able to control this.
Considering my intake of 1 to 1 1/2 of OC 15mg's a day, what is the best way to wean down from that to minimize a traumatic withdrawal? What are good ways to deal with the anxiety issues that come with withdrawal (I have panic disorder as well and have a few leftover xanax from an old prescription that I haven't taken)?
Also, in the state of Ohio, if they have no reason to suspect any drug abuse (they wouldn't with me, there's nothign in my background, I'm 29 years old, married, stable job, stable family, and my doctor knows how vigilant I've been about everything related to this pregnancy), will they drug test my baby? I know if I quit before I deliver (several weeks), my toxicology would be clean, however I'm worried about if they tested her meconium. I can't lose my baby. I love her so much, and I know I will be a great mother to her (aside from this issue, which I am trying to rectify). I am a perfectly stable person except for this. I don't want her to come into this world in a horrible withdrawal. I want her to come into this world comfortable and healthy.
I am so scared right now with everything. Can anyone please offer some sort of advice on how to do this the best way possible?
That all sounds great! I'm sure you're very relieved...
Please let us know what we can do to help and support you, okay?
xo
Please let us know what we can do to help and support you, okay?
xo
I am glad you talked to your doctor and posted back. Now that you have a plan in place you won't be so stressed, and that is good for both you and the wee one :) Also, by sharing your story you may give someone the courage to talk to her doctor, too. Wishing you well and hugs,
Minn
Minn
I did tell the doctor. And she was very understanding. She told me to quit driving myself crazy! She said that they sometimes even prescribe these medications to cope with pregnancy pains when the mother has a lot of preexisting pain problems. She advised to do a slow wean, and to try to be completely weaned by 36 weeks, which I feel pretty good that I can do. I was surprised at how understanding she was. I'm just glad that she now knows, and was able to give good advice on the weaning process. I still have an old prescription for Klonopin, and she advised that if I do experience a bad spell with withdrawal, to take one if necessary, but again, by 36 weeks to not have that either. So I have about two weeks to get through this!
Good for you! It is great to read that you're being proactive and talking to your doctor today which is absolutely the right decision. I know you're probably nervous, but I'm sure your doctor will be very helpful and understanding - I've read so many posts here that tell this same story - and as soon as the mommy to be talked to her doctor, she felt so relieved.
Not only are you doing the right thing for your child, but what is necessary for yourself as well. Be proud of that!
Well wishes to you...
Sandy
Not only are you doing the right thing for your child, but what is necessary for yourself as well. Be proud of that!
Well wishes to you...
Sandy
Best of luck today! You're doing the best thing and I hope it goes well for you!
Please let us know. How it goes! (It's NEVER wrong to do the right thing!)
Please let us know. How it goes! (It's NEVER wrong to do the right thing!)
My appointment was rescheduled for this morning, so I will be going soon to the doctor. I'm going to tell her. I'm nervous, but I know I need to say something.
As for after the baby is here, I will not be taking anything afterwards. If something is prescribed, as I will be having a c-section, I will obviously take that, as I'm sure I will need it. But at least if the doctor is aware of past issues, she will be able to monitor closely.
I do plan on breastfeeding, which is another reason I want to be as clean as possible, and also, I don't think it's fair to my daughter to continue with anything like this. It's bad enough that it's been happening during the pregnancy. I want us BOTH to be at our best health.
Since I posted, I have only taken 1/day. I'm just breaking it down into 4 pieces and taking a quarter of one 4x. I still feel okay. Just a little anxious, but I think that's probably due to everything else going on as well.
I really appreciate the comments from everyone. The advice has been valuable, and it just means a lot to have some support. Thank you all
As for after the baby is here, I will not be taking anything afterwards. If something is prescribed, as I will be having a c-section, I will obviously take that, as I'm sure I will need it. But at least if the doctor is aware of past issues, she will be able to monitor closely.
I do plan on breastfeeding, which is another reason I want to be as clean as possible, and also, I don't think it's fair to my daughter to continue with anything like this. It's bad enough that it's been happening during the pregnancy. I want us BOTH to be at our best health.
Since I posted, I have only taken 1/day. I'm just breaking it down into 4 pieces and taking a quarter of one 4x. I still feel okay. Just a little anxious, but I think that's probably due to everything else going on as well.
I really appreciate the comments from everyone. The advice has been valuable, and it just means a lot to have some support. Thank you all
You need to tel your dr. That way when she is born cps won't be involved. Cause that's how your husband will find out. I took psi mess for a week and a half at 33 week and it's not as long as you did but scared me to the point that I had to come clean to my dr and I quit the day I did. She did not wd and I wine into labor a week early. But she did test positive in her first stool. But since I had talked to my dr about this no cps was involved. My husband also did not know. And nothing became of it. I may not have used as long or as much as you but I know the guilt from it. It's terrible. Please do what's best and talk to your ob ASAP and quit now don't wait.
Hi! You've gotten some great advice; I just wanted to add my support to your effort!
Please keep posting and keep asking questions! We're happy to help!
Please keep posting and keep asking questions! We're happy to help!
Hi there, welcome! I am glad you are here--it's a really good place. Just read and relax for a few minutes.
If you taper now, you should be able to produce a clean little baby girl any time around week 37 or after. Thankfully, your dose is not very high compared to other mommies-to-be that have come here. However, the taper needs to begin NOW. You need to have a medically-supervised taper, so you must tell your OB doctor. They've seen it all before and know what to do. She cannot tell your husband without your permission. Plus, if you tell the doctor now, it protects you with regard to Child Protective Services, who will get involved if your baby tests positive for opiates. That's a situation you don't need.
I'm just a little confused. Are you honestly taking the oxys only for pain, or for the high or soothing feeling it gives? The answer to that will help you know how to handle the situation. Since you have had genuine physical problems, why can't you go to a pain management doctor for medication, PT, TENS therapy, etc.? Do you have poor impulse control regarding opiates, or is it due to your husband's fear and loathing of all medications that has caused your current inability being forthright with everyone?
I also want you to be thinking about after baby is here---what will you do then? Are you expecting to breastfeed? Will you go back to your secret life taking illegal drugs and hiding it from everyone? Motherhood is extremely stressful, and you need to have a plan in place. If you truly need drugs for pain, go to a doctor, not a "friend". That type of behavior can have really awful consequences.
Please keep us in the loop about how you are doing--we are here 24/7 to talk to. Don't be afraid; tell your doctor on Monday, okay?
If you taper now, you should be able to produce a clean little baby girl any time around week 37 or after. Thankfully, your dose is not very high compared to other mommies-to-be that have come here. However, the taper needs to begin NOW. You need to have a medically-supervised taper, so you must tell your OB doctor. They've seen it all before and know what to do. She cannot tell your husband without your permission. Plus, if you tell the doctor now, it protects you with regard to Child Protective Services, who will get involved if your baby tests positive for opiates. That's a situation you don't need.
I'm just a little confused. Are you honestly taking the oxys only for pain, or for the high or soothing feeling it gives? The answer to that will help you know how to handle the situation. Since you have had genuine physical problems, why can't you go to a pain management doctor for medication, PT, TENS therapy, etc.? Do you have poor impulse control regarding opiates, or is it due to your husband's fear and loathing of all medications that has caused your current inability being forthright with everyone?
I also want you to be thinking about after baby is here---what will you do then? Are you expecting to breastfeed? Will you go back to your secret life taking illegal drugs and hiding it from everyone? Motherhood is extremely stressful, and you need to have a plan in place. If you truly need drugs for pain, go to a doctor, not a "friend". That type of behavior can have really awful consequences.
Please keep us in the loop about how you are doing--we are here 24/7 to talk to. Don't be afraid; tell your doctor on Monday, okay?
I have a prenatal appointment on Monday, and have been thinking about telling her. I'm just so nervous!!! I am terrified about my husband finding out about this. He literally will divorce me. There's no exaggeration in that at all. The doctor is concerned about a surgery I had when I was 20. I had ovarian cancer in my left ovary, as well as benign fibroids in my uterus. When they did my surgery to remove the cancerous tumor (thankfully it was only on the surface of the ovary and had not yet spread), they also went into my uterus to remove the fibroids. Considering the large size of the tumor, they did a full hip to hip c-section cut in my abdomen (they also wanted to look at the other ovary to ensure that nothing was forming on that ovary too). So my uterus was cut, non-pregnant, and the upper part was cut, which is more prone to rupture during pregnancy/childbirth.
He actually told me to ask the doctor about NOT being prescribed anything for pain afterwards. I told him he was insane... After healing from that surgery, I know how excruciating it is even when they had me on demerol post-op. He is THAT vehemently against medications.
That's why I'm terrified to even tell my doctor. I'm worried about him somehow finding out.
I know this is the first step, and I am glad that I am finally taking it. I just feel horrible for waiting so long to do so. I've known that this is a problem, but I am glad to at least have done this post to TRULY acknowledge it and seek outside help, even if it is just on a web forum. I kept thinking the whole time that I could do this on my own, but as things progress, I know now that I can't. It feels good to finally get it off my shoulders though. This has been killing me for months. I'm amazed I haven't had panic attacks over it, which is odd that I haven't. Since I became pregnant, my panic attacks have literally disappeared completely. I don't know if the hormonal changes have had something to do with it, but I am very happy about it. I know that panic attacks and the stress they cause can be dangerous for my baby as well, so I think it's natures way of somehow protecting her, even though I am failing to protect her from my problems.
He actually told me to ask the doctor about NOT being prescribed anything for pain afterwards. I told him he was insane... After healing from that surgery, I know how excruciating it is even when they had me on demerol post-op. He is THAT vehemently against medications.
That's why I'm terrified to even tell my doctor. I'm worried about him somehow finding out.
I know this is the first step, and I am glad that I am finally taking it. I just feel horrible for waiting so long to do so. I've known that this is a problem, but I am glad to at least have done this post to TRULY acknowledge it and seek outside help, even if it is just on a web forum. I kept thinking the whole time that I could do this on my own, but as things progress, I know now that I can't. It feels good to finally get it off my shoulders though. This has been killing me for months. I'm amazed I haven't had panic attacks over it, which is odd that I haven't. Since I became pregnant, my panic attacks have literally disappeared completely. I don't know if the hormonal changes have had something to do with it, but I am very happy about it. I know that panic attacks and the stress they cause can be dangerous for my baby as well, so I think it's natures way of somehow protecting her, even though I am failing to protect her from my problems.
Taper now. Do not wait until March. All you will be doing is giving your baby more time off drugs, more time to have clean meconium, more time to have less withdrawals. Nothing but good can come of any of that sweetie. You must care about your baby, you want help. Then either get help now from your Dr, or help yourself but do it now. Not on March, don't put it off until its too late..
I understand that you don't want to tell anybody, but I highly recommend telling your doctor. It will be confidential and if you don't want, your husband wont even have to know. Your doctor can tell you the best taper plan that will keep both you and your baby safe. Just know that whatever you feel, the baby will feel (i.e. withdrawals). If you insist on keeping this a secret, just begin tapering...like TODAY. I can't give you specific tapering advice b/c I am not a doctor...which is why I suggest that you tell your doctor. Either way, its a good thing you want what's best for you and your baby and admitting it is the first step in the right direction.
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