Pregnant and a heroin addict...help.

[imsoblonde]

I am 5 months pregnant. I also have a massive heroin addiction. I was wondering if anyone could tell me what i hav done to my daughter in the long and short run. And if i take suboxen  and get off this **** if they could still take her away from me. i found out i was pregnant back in november and i was clean...i relapsed during my first trimester and got clean again (went thru the dope sick and everything) now i have been using again for about 8 weeks and i am so terrified to tell my doctor and risk the consequences. please kno that i love my daughter very much and i never wanted to hurt  her so please dont think im a bad person. please. just someone let me kno what i have done to her...anyone. thank you.

[nursegirl6572]

PLEASE read drea's posts over and over.  While the rest of us have been trying to steer you in the right direction...you have the info coming STRAIGHT from someone living it.  SHE did the right thing and told her doctor...and what happened?  She is getting support and being closely monitored.  Also, she is right about the Sub vs Methadone.  There just isn't enough research out there about the effects of Sub on a pregnancy/infant.  There is w/d for sure...but everything else is a big unknown.  On Methadone...you will be properly dosed (although you have to take it as Rxed)...and closely watched.  The delivery team will be FULLY prepared for any issues that come up...and they will be able to treat your daughter BEFORE w/d's begin.  If you stay silent...she will start w/d's, and that just is NOT fair to her.  Then, the docs are not going to have the info they need to treat her accordingly.

You don't want to lose your child, you are not a bad person.  You have a problem.  HOWEVER.  Time is of the essence now.  You've heard it from all of us....we are not just trying to scare you into doing the right thing.  If you think you will sneak this by the medical team, PLEASE think again...it's NOT going to happen.  IT IS IMPOSSIBLE.  So, if that is still where your mindset is...think again.  It truly will not happen.  They are going to find out.  Let them find out from you, NOW.  Your daughter WILL have w/d's from the Sub, and they can be VERY severe.  If that happens and you haven't disclosed vital info about your use....then CYS will NOT have any mercy, and you will have to fight that much harder to prove yourself.  WHY do that to yourself?  When you tell the doc...they aren't going to arrest you, they are going to help you.  Sure, you may be received very positively at first, but the longer you wait, the worse that will be.  And, who cares anyway...YOU are doing it for the right reasons.  You have a responsibility to this child, plain and simple.  Is the dad involved?  If so, what does he say?  Maybe HE could be supportive when you approach the doctor.  

Find a new OB today...and do whatever it takes to make sure that you are given the proper care and that your daughter will not be in any more danger at delivery than she has to be.  Newborns that have complications are so fragile, and things can literally turn on a dime.  It TRULY may make the difference between life and death for her if the team does not know about this...and IF it comes down to telling them at a moment where your daughter has gone into some type of distress, it may be too late.  I'm NOT saying that to frighten you, but it IS the cold hard truth.  And IF God forbid something would happen to your daughter...not only would you have to live with that knowing it was fully preventable, but there will be legal consequences beyond your imagination.  :0(

This is 100% fixable.  Fix it.....it's more than time.  Despite anything any of us have said to you here...we're all rooting for you...and we want the best for your child, and for you.

[drea9]

sorry but either way css is going to get involved. they only way you can save your child now would be to get clean they will test the baby for any drugs when you have her and if ANYTHING and i mean ANYTHING even weed comes up in yours or her system she's gone. get help and just be honest. days go on and you get threw things, people will stand by you and help you but they will not stand by you and help you if your not helping yourself. tell your ob you have to. just get it over with you will feel 100 times better. you know whats right and what you should do.just stick your chest out and hold your head up high, your doing this for a reason. do you like the way your life is right now? sounds to me like you don't. well do something about it. change... it takes time won't happen over night i can promise you that. and your going to have to work at it big time. but you know what when your looking for dope youll do anything and everything to get that high. so why not go through all the **** to get clean. start digging your way out of that hole you dug yourself into. you can do it! trust me if i can be where i am now from where i was just back in january... you can do it. and i don't even know you personally. but you have to want it. you have to be ready to give it all up. if your not then there's no point. you'll get sick and tired of being sick and tired one day. you'll get sick of hurting your family and living a lie. but you better do it while you still have that little bit of hope in the people that love you because pretty soon they will give up on you just like your giving up on yourself. and thats even a worse feeling. there's help out there, so use it. i put myself threw hell when i was using, don't get me wrong the thoughts of using are still there... but if you are going to NA i'm sure you heard "play the whole tape all the way threw" do it and i promise you, you will change everything. i don't want to hear of anything bad comming of your situation, and i am willing to help you in anyway possible because i know exactly what you are going threw. and it's not easy. i like to belive that us addicts are more of the stronger people in life because of what we have been threw and where we are today. but everything happens for a reason all you can do is learn from it and move on. son't make the same mistakes in a row. and learn to forgive yourself. your worth it. and so is your daughter. you have someone else depending on you now. it's not about you anymore it's about her. good luck!!!

[drea9]

i know exactly what you are going threw. i am currently 7 months pregnant and taking methadone. At the begining of my pregnacy i was pretty much using whatever i could get my hands on. when i found out i was actually pregnant it was to hard to stop, even though you truely want to. NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT UNLESS THEY HAVE DELT WITH IT TOO. And trust me that is the truth. i'm seeing a mid wife not an ob because i am considered high risk being an addict and being on the methadone. the baby and yourself have to be monitored closely while on this stuff. i was actually told that suboxone will harm the baby more thats why theyrecommended methodone. subutex never came up so i couldnt tell you much about that. i'm currently on 42 mg and feel great. my baby is healthy aswell. i've asked to be winged off of the methodone because i don't want a  chance of my baby being addicted. but they won't recommend it just to be safe. there are at least 3 other girls that i run into at the clinic where i get my methodone and they all have had healthy babys, also surprisingly none of their babies we addicted when born. and they were on at least 70 mg. i'm not sure if your still wondering about all this i just read what was up top. i know exactly what you are going threw your not alone. and there are plenty of other women out there struggling with the same stuff. it's scary expecially when you have another to care for besides yourself. your not alone, and i just wanted to make sure the information i knew would be passed on to you, weather it helps you or not at least you know. i wish you the best of luck and if you need anything else, or have any questions please let me know. she's counting on you, and only you. remember that.

[RichDoc]

Blondie:

I will make it simple.  Find a new OB (preferably a woman--they are less judgmental toward other women), tell her your story from the beginning and tell her you want to do the right thing by your baby.  Ask her if she can get you on a titrated withdrawal schedule on suboxone.  Considering your alternatives, that is the safest treatment.  DO NOT continue doing what you are doing.  Stick to that schedule!  Any court later will commend you for trying to do the right thing by seeking help.  It is only if you do NOT seek help that they may take away your baby at birth.  But more than that, realize that you are now the light of your baby's life.  It isn't about you anymore.  It is about your child.  Good luck.  I am pulling for you, kid!

RichDoc

[bethinime]

I tried to read all the posts but there were so many so forgive me if I am asking a question that has already been asked. My question is isnt there a Doctor/Patient confidentiality law to protect her? She should be able to confide in her dr without fears of repercussions. Without that freedom thats what  makes us hide things...things that a professional can us with?

Secondly I want to say to iamblonde you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am glad to hear you are on suboxone now. Please keep us posted with your progress. I know addiction is hard. But this is something you can overcome and you and yourdaughter can be ok with the right treatment. Get help from your drs and if you and your ob dont get along great see if there is someone else on your insurance list you can switch to. You need to feel absolutely comfortable with your Dr so they can help you. Stay strong. I will be thinking and praying for you and your daughter.

[refusingbondage]

I just read this whole thread, and Im not going to comment, judge or tell you what to do.  But I do want to respond to your last question.  You are worried that if you go to NA and tell them whats going on that CPS can get involved.  What do you think is going to happen when you have this baby?  If you dont work with an OBGYN and you don't inform the hospital and your doctors that your using, when this baby is born addicted, CPS will definitely get involved, without a shadow of a doubt.  You have to trust someone.  NA will probably know of an OBGYN doc who is experienced in this.. the OBGYN may know of a sub doc who is experienced in this.. Dont let that one rude a-hole of a doc make you give up on your quest to do what is right for this baby and yourself.  You gotta keep trying.  Someone said above that your not the first pregnant heroine addict and you wont be the last and they are right..so please keep trying until you find a doctor who will support and help you.  Good luck and lots of prayers