Prescription Percocet Misuse-Abuse-Addiction?

[passenger2010]

I have ankylosing spondylitis, a form of arthritis that affects me both physically and emotionally. Physically it affects me acutely in the morning, getting out of bed, getting up and starting my day. I am stiff and sore every morning from lying in bed all night. Emotionally it affects me by making me depressed and leaving me with a sense of uselessness. Although I have had AS for at least 20 years, it has been only been acute for the past 5 - 6 years. i stopped working 6 years ago and have had to rely on disability insurance since then, Financially I am okay. Socially, I do okay, I've even started a card club one night a week that has been going strong for three full years. I am single with very little desire to be in a relationship. With that little bit of background I can now come to my drug abuse question. For the past six years i have been prescribed percocet - 56 pills (lowest dose) per 28 days. Basically, two pills per day. Percocet takes the edge off the pain - which I am 100% okay with. It also has a tremendous psychological affect where I actually feel emotionally better. The problem is, I take all of my 28 day supply of percocet in the first nine days I have them. The other 19 days, I go without. After the nine days, I do go through two to three days of withdrawal, but nothing serious like I've seen described in these forums. For the 19 days without percocet I suffer the arthritic pain - sometimes acutely - but only take over the counter anti-inflammatories like advil. I can't take nsaids because they have caused me to have bleeding ulcers in the past. Percocets work so well that when I have them, I take them almost as soon as the effects wear off. I couldn't imagine having them available and NOT taking them just because I am limited to two pills a day. I mostly take two at a time, six or seven hours apart, and occasionally take three at a time, but never more. I never take more than the 56 in 28 days. My question is, am I considered an addict? Just so you're aware where I am in my 28 day cycle right now, I am 12 days since my last percocet - next presription is one week away. I feel no withdrawal, no cravings etc. BUT, I would take two right now if I had some. I know they can be obtained illegally, but I'd never ever go out and purchase any illegally.

[passenger2010]

Sara, you go right ahead and talk this over with my doctor. I really don't 'get' people like you. I have no idea why you are even here. You didn't listen to almost anything I wrote. Yet you have some standard 'learned' responses that really, and I mean really, do not apply to me or my situation one iota. It has been 7 years now, the same prescription amount in the same amount of time. I know not to ask for more, as I clearly stated, I would take them immediately.

For me to talk this over with my doctor would mean he would immediately cut me off the percocet. Now, knowing that, why would I tell him? It would be exactly the same as not renewing my prescription. I can already do that. But you think I need a special trip to the doctor to do that? And really, 22 years now with AS, you really think it necessary to mention to me about pain a
management? Do you suppose after 22 years of AS, I will go "well D'UH! I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT" What a novel though for constant pain, pain management.

[janet19]

To be clear your prescription is legal, but your use of them is not, since they are said to be taken 2 a day. What does that mean to us addicts? Nothing at all...........I started out with a legitimate excuse of pain and started getting vic's 5/500 and then I told dr. I was still in pain well they went 7.5/750. I now get 10/325 for 4 a day. I can take a script of 120 pills in 10 days or less. Not enough nope so I told dr. still had pain and got soma's to go alone with vic's. thats another 90 pills I can add a month. Then I start getting them for 3 mos. at a time becuase cheaper with insurance. It was buying 2 getting 1 free sale. Last 3 months no way about 4 to 5 wks if I was lucky. for get 2 at a time I went to 3 than 4 so I was taking 4 somas and 4 vicodins. anywhere from 4 to six times a day. I was losing  my mind, my bestfriend, job and my life as i knew it. I had no idea who the real me was anymore. I decided I needed some help, so I started seeing a therapist and going to NA meetings feeling good about myself not using for 60 days. Welll it did not last and I am saying I wanted it last and to last forever. Pills control my life. I did lose my job and put us in financial trouble. My husband stuck by me and still is. I heard of a drug called suboxone from my therapist, she said she had another client who was abusing vics just a little lower does than me. I think she was eating around 10 or so a day. I read about the drug and talked myself out of it because of some serious side effects I read about. But as it came harder to stay clean, I went back and re-read everything about suboxone. I read the side effects, and stories from both sides the good ones and the bad ones. I researched as much as I could on the drug suboxone. I looked at it again and the possibilities for me to get clean were far greater with suboxone then without it. I decided it was something I needed to try. I called on Friday and mad appt.. for Monday. Well I got the suboxone on Monday and gradually increased meds each day to get to 16 mg a day. I am on day 7 today and I feel wonderful. I can get up each day and not even think about where my next fix is coming from. I take my suboxone 1 tablet dissolved under tongue in the am and again in the pm. I felt better the first day after only 2, 2mg does. I never thought I would ever feel normal again.   Well I do and it is great, no more upset stomachs, aches, pains, or headaches. I just feel good all my waking hours. This is working for meand it has been the most logical and sensible thing I have ever done. Suboxone also has helped tremendously with my chronic pain. I think I had more pains after using than before I started. I really believe it was rebound pain.

[dominosarah]

The more you get to know us the more you will feel like opening up.  Many of us were paranoid in the beginning so that is normal to feel like that.          sara

[whoa1]

thanks but im kinda paranoid about people knowing too much about me. ive pretty much isolated myself these last few years. i havent been on  internet in a few years. my college age son came home after graduating and brought his laptop and voila here i am. im still kinda nervous about all this. but its wonderful to know others are out there some what like me.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Welcome to the forum! Glad you found us. At the top of the page ia a Post a Question button. Do that and start your own post so others will get to know you and what you are going through.

[whoa1]

just wanted to say im new and i am grateful to have found this site because i want to quit so bad but im afraid.

[dominosarah]

Usually when we have to ask the question of are we addicted we usually know the answer but it has to come from you....Now that you have answered your own question what do you plan on doing?  Keep posting as we are here to support you.....sara

[Lindsay_T]

Oh one more thing, this is more mental. My dear husband is very sick and he takes lots of pills.  He is 50 something and very bummed about his physical limitations. Sometimes I think the pills are a  compensating factor = as in, my body has these problems, but I have a perk from this burden. I have pills and I can get real high if I want. So although I'm bummed about my disease, at least I have something good (not) coming from it. Just a thought.

[Lindsay_T]

Welcome to reality. That's one of the best things about this forum. We can talk turkey even if we are chicken. Seriously. There is no shame. No blame and only reality. As much or as little of it as you want. Keep being real!

[Tigerlily922]

Wow, what an excellent post of truth to yourself!!  That had to be very difficult to do.  Being aware of your situation is an excellent start for you to kick this addiction.  Stay aware of your actions and your thoughts, there will come a time when your ready to quit.  I've come and gone on many support forums, my addicted mind tells me I don't need them then MY mind tells me that I do.  My advice would be stay involved and keep reading the posts!  I am new here and it is a great place for support and information.

[laurel453]

Hi welcome to the forum...

you will find that moment where you want to quit...addiction is always progressive... things never stay the same, our tolerance increases and everything keeps scalating so i think it is a very good thing that you keep reading the forum learning more about it

and stay here... we will be here supporting you and helping you if we can... :)

[passenger2010]

six hours ago i joined these forums and posted my first post asking if i was addicted to percocet. boy was i kidding myself or what? i've stayed up all night reading forums here and it has become exceedingly obvious to me i am an addict. an addict with excuses galore. i've read about bad teeth - i break about two teeth a year on average. i read about the runs. i get those a few days after i do my nine days of percocets. they last for a few days to a week. i've even been seeing a gastroenterologist - the initial rectal scope test indicated crohn's disease, but then all the other tests were negative. duh! its the percs.

truthfully, i found these forums during a google search for how to remove the tylenol from percocets. i wanted to stop only the tylenol!! these forums have been a major eye opener for me. i've kniown all along i have been abusing my prescription by doing them all the first week and a bit, but i didn't know i was addicted because i seem to be able to go 19 days without them fairly easily. i think perhaps my addiction is satisfied knowing some more percocets are on the way! i always know how many more days left to refill that bottle.

my addicted mind is conjuring up a way to stay on percs but stop abusing them. maybe the pharmacist will give me two a day, every day. i could even design and build a vaulted dispenser that releases two pills every 24 hours. i know i could not hoard them, they'd be gone as soon as they were dispensed. btw - as long as i am being honest - i have a laz-y-boy chaiir i sit in when i am in pain. the pain goes away aas soon as i sit down 98% of the time. i don't always NEED narcotics. i LIKE narcotics.

i haven't decided to quit. yet.

[passenger2010]

I haven't let my doctor know whats up. I like the percocets too much. I get nine days of excellent relief. That 'lousy' feeling completely goes away. I had the 'lousy' feeling long before I took my first percocet, or any painkiller. Eight years ago I took Vioxx, which had no narcotic affect, but it took all the pain, stiffness and soreness away. Vioxx was banned because it caused serious side effects, such as strokes and heart valve problems.. i do acknowledge though, a portion of the 'lousy' feeling I have now comes from the percocet itself. Although I am convinced its woth it. Nine days of relief, for a few hours of discomfort for only a couple of days.

I don't ask my doctor for more pills, or stronger things like oxycontin, because I am afraid of the very thing I am posting here for. Becoming an addict. Alcohol brings quick relief as well. For that very reason, I don't drink even 12 beers a year. I am 100% convinced I would be an alcoholic in no time if I went down that route.  

I have some understanding of the tricks addiction can play on the mind as I am a smoker of 30 years. I've quit a few times, never longer than a week to ten days though. I always reach a point where I think, "that was easy, so easy, i will quit when i really need to". Of course I am long past really needing to quit. i will try again soon when i am willing to suffer the anxiety involved.

[dominosarah]

Hi and welcome!!  It seems you are in a vicious cycle already.  I would really talk this over with your doctor and see if the 2 of you can maybe change up your meds.  There are meds that cover pain longer and are non narcotic.  After you take narcotics for a long time they stop working to their potential as we build up a tolerance.  You have medical issues that require you to take some sort of medication so please talk with your doctor.  We also have a pain management forum here and there are really good people on there that may have some ideas for the pain part.......sara

[Lindsay_T]

You are asking good question. The addict question is the big question for sure. I wonder if you've let your doctor know what's up, You feel so lousy that you believe you can't help but to take what makes you feel better. So, you are taking them all in the beginning of the month.
Have you ever asked him/her to bump up your quantity?
Speaking personally, I just took pills because I wanted to feel good. Now, i'm almost 60 days clean, and I realize that I was hurting myself more than helping.
Some others on this board are good educators when it comes to "addiction." I don't really understand addiction even though I do KNOW i am an addict.
I look forward to learning about the devious nature of addiction. It is relentless and completely self preservating. At the expense of the addict.