Psychotic Episodes

[TommyBee]

My story is long and most of you have heard it before from others. I have abused vicodin for about 7 years. I have tried to detox a few times with short term success. I did detox, but I went back to the meds. In May 2007 I tried to detox again and I hade a seizure. I spent some time in the hospital, but again a little whie later I was back on the meds. I then decieded to go to the hospital and detox, which I should have done in the first place. I lasted a little while, but again I went back to vicodin. This is where it gets weird. In September I had a psychotic episode. I ended up getting arrested and taken to the hospital which is the only reason I knew I was sick. I don't remember most things and what I do remember was a delusion. What I remember happening did, but my perspective of it was "crazy." The toxicology screen showed I had no drugs in my system, which I find really strange. I was treated for a mental disorder and the doctors don't know why it happened. I did have more episodes after that, but they were shorter. I have told the doctors that I am an addict. They don't seem to think that it has anything to do with what happened. Has anyone ever heard of this happening from withdrawals? even though the doctors don't think so, I think it may have something to do with it. I would be thankful for any feedback. Also, there is a lot more to this story. I just tried to make it short as I could. If you want to know anything plase ask. Thank you.

[blueyz]

I don't know if you would call it dimensia or not, but I was clearly out of my mind.  I simply have no memory of the crazy stuff I was doing amd saying.  And YES, they said it was all due to the liver failure.  The toxins will inflitrate your head and cause serious confusion, loss of memory...etc.

[TommyBee]

I wish I coud tell if they were not telling the truth. I really don't think will be able to tell.

(They sue as hell didnt know when I was lieing to get meds}

[TommyBee]

Thank you for the PM

[hydro4life]

I just sent you a PM....

[hydro4life]

They flipped out while they were on the Xanax. They took WAY too many and had to call the police because he was threatening to kill everyone and also jumping on the hood of vehicles coming down the road. He also had seizures because of the amount of Xanax he took. Has NO memory of the things he's done while on them.

[marcatj]

i think you'll be able to tell...

[TommyBee]

I have some research to do, because I don't even know what those threrapy' s are.

Success stories isn't a bad question, I just don't think the answer would be that honest.

[TommyBee]

So did the toxins from your liver cause dimensia?

My friends fater died from live cancer. I ws very close so I know that happens.

What is really bothering me is the lack of diagnosis. Also, I want the DA to drop the criminal charges, so I don't havr to fight in court that I eas temporarly insane. A year agao I didn't even believe that was true.

[marcatj]

... and i actually don't think the success stories is a bad question..

[marcatj]

no worries buddy...

i would ask them how long they've been practicing, in your case - if they've had any experience with addiction/drugs... hmm... lemme think about that one a minute... i may google it also!!

maybe also what kind of "therapy" do they believe in/follow (Fruedian, Jungian, Cognitive Behavioral - which i think is good, but not when you first go...) etc.

i'll give it some more thought.  for what it's worth, i think Frued was a boob, from the little i remember from college. it was all about his d*** and how everyone wants to have sex with their mom.. LOL.

[blueyz]

Apparantly I was in Acute Liver failure.  My huaband had to take me to the ER after I started doing some really crazy shite @ home. ( I don't remember).  They did have to secure me for my safety and the safety of the staff.  I'm ok with that, One I don't remember and two they were trying to keep me alive.  
My DOC.....pretty much any opiate I could get my hands on.  But no more.  I was given a second chance for a reason...I need to take it.  I do have a regular counselor and she knows and is great.

[TommyBee]

What do I ask?
Are you good?
Are you worth the money?
Can you tell me some success stories?

I know i am being a smarta**, but how do you interview them?

I mean no disrespeact with the smart comments, I just like to have fun every now and again.

[TommyBee]

I was also in the ICU, but for 4 days.
I was fighting, thats why I this the police used a tazor on me.
I was restrained most of the time.

So what was your drug of choice, if you had one?
What was the diagnosis?

[marcatj]

i know buddy... if you decide to go at some point, just research the person as best you can.

and ask them questions, too.  like an interview.. i've heard that's a great way to find a good one... (i didn't, i didn't know enough at the time to.. thank goodness I got vey lucky.)

[blueyz]

I think I know what your talking about here.  Recently I posted "I was Hope" and my body shut down while trying to taper.  The thing is when it comes to the liver, all the toxins we are putting in it will only last so long.  Then it effects the rest of your body AND MIND!  I don't remember going to the hospital, being in ICU for 5 days, being transported...nothing.  They say you also reverse to child-like behavior when the toxins in your liver become too much.  I was told I was a real handful...biting at any Dr or Nurse that came to poke me, fighting, cursing, yelling and rocking back and forth.  I'm fine now and am very lucky to be able to write about this.  This is what could have happened to you.

Best of luck and feel free to ask questions!

[TommyBee]

Too bad you ae in CA. I would go see your psychotherapist

[marcatj]

totally.  hence, the shrinkage...

[TommyBee]

Thank you. Always look forward, but don't forget the past. If you forget you are doomed to repeat it.

[marcatj]

i know... i get it.  of course they were our decisions.  but how we got there.. well, there were reasons.  there were reasons we made such bad decisions..

but you're exactly right - there's no where to look but forward.

[TommyBee]

That is a good quote, but I don't believe that in my case. It IS my fault for going down. I made those decisions to do the things I did and now I have to take responsibility.

I am sorry your year was bad as well. Nothing for us to do, but to look forward to a good future, right?

(Now I have to get myself to believe that)

[TommyBee]

Funny, you didn't leave the house when you took pills and I can't leave the house without pills or whatever.

You were the life of the party when you were clean, I was the life of the party when I had a pocket full of pills, a bag of blow, and a bottle of morphine in my pocket.

I am not dumb, but I pulled a lot of **** in college. I got my GED and i usually paid people to do my work. Texted myself the answers to tests to my cell phone.

Anyway, I am really going to look into some more therapy. I have to do something. And staying off drugs will be my first obstical.

[marcatj]

totally.  living unconcious is WAY easier...  but in my opinion, is a miserable existence.

and yes - forever is way way better!!!!!

and i'm sorry your year was bad.  i get it. i mean, in my way... I try to remember what Martin Luther King said - it's not our fault for going down, but it's our responsibility for getting back up.

i couldn't go down any further.. i HAD to go up!!  :)

[TommyBee]

How about instead of staying clean for a while, I stay clean forever?

I agree with you there, last year was my "perfect storm" There were many small storms in previous years that led to it, but last year was...I cant even put it in words.

You are right about the emotionally healthy being hard work. Physically as well. When I didn't give a s*** it was so easy.

[marcatj]

.. and if you graduated with honors, you're smarter than you let on.  or than you acknowledge.

it even takes a smart guy to cheat that well...