Question about W/D symptom

Ok, I take about 20mg of oxycontin a day. Not my script, but i have cronic (chronic) pain and the person I get them from take them for cronic (chronic) pain too. He helps me out. He can only help me out so many pills per month and I try to make them last 30 days but that dosen't always happen.  My husband dosen't know that I am still taking them. Well, what generally happens is I keep putting my self thru WD's every month.  I have found ways to keep the symptoms fairly mild. One problem I have been having is dialated pupils. My husband keeps saying what are you on? what are you doing at work? I answer is NOTHING!!!  I can only take the pill in the AM so my pupils aren't pinned when I get home from work. But the problem is when I start running out I try to taper for a few days but by the time I get home from work my pupils are freakin huge. What should I do? Is there anything I can say to him?I have been reading this forum for about 2 months, mostly lurking. In the long run I want to stop taking pills but at this point I'm still trying to figure out how to manage my pain. I already take 800mg of IB a 3x's day and zanaflex. Any input would be greatly appriciated as I'm doing this alone....no one else knows. Sorry if my thoughts are choppy, I'm going on day 2.
-zoe

[dessss]

Hi, Glad you started posting. This is a great group of support here. I dont have any advice about the pupils though. I'm sure someone will be along to help you out.

I would just tell him I'm not doing anything and leave it at that. Why would he be accusing you anyway..
Sorry I cant be of more help..

[IBKleen]

Hi and Welcome!

I really don't know what to tell you about the pupil thing. Although I thought I was, I was never very good about hiding the fact that I was using..whatever the drug was.

Ultimately, it would be in your best interest to stop all the meds. Your hubby is obviously on to you and if he finds out that you have been lying all along..you are going to have a lot more problems. You are trying to hide it and breaking his trust as it is. Know what I mean?

If you would like a schedule to taper off the pills..please just ask. Many ppl here have done it and can help you.

Please take care of yourself. Hope to see you post again.

[zoezsweet]

He would be accusing because there have been lies in the past related to taking the OC and him not knowing. He doesn't know cause he has a very addictive personality and he has mental problems, so he can't take narcs. Also, he is addicted to weed and takes anti-psychotics. I've got my problems and he's got his. I could go on and on. I'm just glad I've found this forum and I'm not sure yet what I hope to accomplish but gald I'm here and talking.

Thanks,zoe

[zoezsweet]

Yes, trust.....big issue.....been there done that. Just don't think I'm ready to stop, but we'll see. I'm arguing with myself in my head, alot. I think about pros and cons all the time. When I quit I know the WD are coming and I make it a day or 2, then I have to hit up my enabler, cause the mentalness gets me. Yesterday, which was day 1 again, I read posts all day and it helped. Anyways. Thanks