Aa
Question about certain posts
In review the posts on this board I noticed a few people are trying to quit opiates and are just taking "one" a night to help them get through. All of you who have gone though this no that no matter how much ruduction on dose takes place eventually you must go through the withdraw and by taking just one a night keeps the withraw going. Itf the person bites the bullet so to speak they will have a few days of misery but it will then get better slowly. I read of people going through months of detoxing. This is bad for the body and can lead to other problems such as dehyrdation and serious malnutrition. I did not see any posts telling these certain people this. Even though it is extreemly hard, one must stop all opiates and as most of you know even if you made it 5 days and then take "one" to help you get by it just puts you into another three days of withdraw. These poor people are just prolonging the suffering.
Approximate WD times are follows- based upon personal research
Heroin - 3 very bad days -7-10 total days
Methadone - not as acute but last MUCH longer and can feel much worse - 6-30 days. Might not start for 3 days after last dose depending on howw much you take and for how long
Buprenorphine when used for Heroin withdraw...it stays bound for a long time and that is one of the reasons we belive it is not as bad withdraw wise. But do realize that if you are on it for awhile and stop you will have withdraw but it might not start right away (could be up to 7 days later) - but it is not as bad as others.
That you for you time. I just thought I could help.
Approximate WD times are follows- based upon personal research
Heroin - 3 very bad days -7-10 total days
Methadone - not as acute but last MUCH longer and can feel much worse - 6-30 days. Might not start for 3 days after last dose depending on howw much you take and for how long
Buprenorphine when used for Heroin withdraw...it stays bound for a long time and that is one of the reasons we belive it is not as bad withdraw wise. But do realize that if you are on it for awhile and stop you will have withdraw but it might not start right away (could be up to 7 days later) - but it is not as bad as others.
That you for you time. I just thought I could help.
I have to disagree with you about methadone withdrawal being "not as acute or as bad". I have to say that in my experience, methadone is worse to withdraw off than Herion. At least with going cold turkey on herion, you know you're going to be alright in a couple of weeks at most (physically). But with methadone, the withdrawal is long, drawn out and just as acute (if not worse) and painful as herion withdrawal. I don't know why, maybe because it's synthetic and an opioid from the opiate family and therefore not as easily filtered out of the body, I really don't know but it truly is an awful experience. I came off it once before and learned from that experience that you have to take it slow. Very very slowly. It's hard because you just want to be free but remember the faster you go, the sooner you will probably return to that vicious circle. Take it slow, I can't stress that enough. That's what i'm doing now and I don't care how long it takes to do it. I've had 13 years of addiction and it's going to take time to get that monkey off of my back once and for all! 11 of those years has been on methadone and I know that i'll probably have to do some withdrawal from it when I finally get off the program but I can at least make the withdrawal less intense as I can.
hi- i personally cant imagine how or why ambien would exaserbate w/d symptoms from hydros- it after all is a totally and completely different class of drugs- if it helps you to sleep- than i say- thank God for the help- when i have taken ambien while going through w/ds- all it did to me was make me groggy, even more tired, but still unable to sleep- when not going through w/ds, i find ambien a wonderful sleep aid- quick and no aftereffects in the morning- but as far as helping me sleep when i have w/ds- i have yet to find anything short of hitting my self in the head with a hammer that helps- anyway- no, my personal opinion is that it will not prolong your w/ds- it can only help-! keep it up- if you are on day 3- then the worst is no doubt behind you- good luck and God bless
Hi All,
I ran across this web while doing a search and was impressed by the support and therapy that you provide each other. I am pretty much an introvert and not one to butt in. I am not an addict but I do work with people with addictions. I know I shouldn't be posting and don't want to offend, but I've had a bad day. I found out we lost a client today. It seems that people in this field (I am still quite new)accept that they will lose some clients. The clients seem to accept this too. I still don't know what happened, but she was really great when I saw her last week. She told me of her new job and her excitement was uplifting. She also told me that her doc took her off the Tryptophan which I prefer and started her on Effexor.
I spent my day with this on my mind with my just-turned 16yr old at the DMV trying to get all the stuff done for his lisence. I hated the DMV experience but truly enjoyed the time with my oldest. I looked at him and thought how much his Dad would have enjoyed him too....if his Dad hadn't been an alcoholic, if his Dad didn't have emotional scars, if his Dad hadn't killed himself in a bought of depression.......
And so, acceptance is not even close in my levels of emotions right now. Even one is not acceptable.
Therefore, just once, I'm butting in. But it's not to rant but to share. I hit this web while doing a search on Meg Patterson. Skipper had commented on her research and work with electrical accupuncture on another topic. She is not dead but has had a stroke. Her misionary husband and her son speak for her and continue some of her work. The detox clinic they started in Mexico is still open, although unless you speak spanish don't it's difficult to comunicate. Her units are very different than TENS. They use a much lower current which promotes healing instead of only blocking pain temporarily like the TENS. The higher current units on the market like the ems could actually do damage on the neurons, so all units are not the same. Her research on all types of addictions is incredible, unmatched by even the "state-of-art" rehabs here. 80% with no relapse after 5 years. She brought her unit over to the US in the early 80's but wasn't sucessful in setting up similar clinics. She eventually went to Mexico instead. I guess the FDA and the medical lobby felt a little threatened.
There are 3 companies in the US that make units that use this technology. The outpatient clinic I work at has used two of them. We hadn't heard of them before and had spent quite a bit of time looking for something to help with addiction. Something with good research. Something that worked. We were pretty surprised when the right keywords finally pulled up 30 years of research on the technology. One manufacturer is in Philly--Dr. Harold Stecker. Dr. Meg gave him a prototype of her unit with clearance to sell. It's mainly marketed for nicotine withdrawal but we now know it covers opiates real well also. The other unit is made by the Aplha-Stim company out of Texas. It is FDA cleared for depression, anxiety, insomnia, and chronic pain. We feel this covers addictions too since those are the majority of symptoms.
We have found out this past year of renting, selling and giving away these units that they do more than just get people through withdrawal. We have seen people get mental abilities back that noone would have expected. We have seen clients give up addictions we didn't know they had. We have spent a good deal of time and money presenting this to tribes and facities. Unfortunately, they only cared how much it might help their sore knee or shed the few extra pounds they may be carrying. No real interest on how it might help their clients.
But these units are out there and are fairly easy to get and use. It's just that nobody is publisizing it. Conventional medicine would just rather treat drug addiction with more drugs. And Meg knew that doesn't work. It supresses the body's ability to get the neurotransmitters back to normal. It gets them addicted to potentially harmfull prescriptions (we have seen more need for Xanax addiciton than any streat drug--often introduced in rehab!!!) She also knew you need to take people off all psychotropics at once, but she had the machine to control the withdrawal. We have seen clients relapse if they continued to smoke or to drink a lot of caffine. But they would all agree that it wasn't too hard to quit all of their addictions with the units. They also learned how to avoid "relapse food." And they are getting better faster than any other method our councelor has seen in the past.
I am not trying to sell anything with this. We have yet to figure out how to get these out to those in need and not go bankrupt eventually. I just wanted you all to know about it and not feel that prescription drugs are your only option. If anyone is interested or wants more info, email us at ***@****. Thanks and continue to share that Angel.
Barb
I ran across this web while doing a search and was impressed by the support and therapy that you provide each other. I am pretty much an introvert and not one to butt in. I am not an addict but I do work with people with addictions. I know I shouldn't be posting and don't want to offend, but I've had a bad day. I found out we lost a client today. It seems that people in this field (I am still quite new)accept that they will lose some clients. The clients seem to accept this too. I still don't know what happened, but she was really great when I saw her last week. She told me of her new job and her excitement was uplifting. She also told me that her doc took her off the Tryptophan which I prefer and started her on Effexor.
I spent my day with this on my mind with my just-turned 16yr old at the DMV trying to get all the stuff done for his lisence. I hated the DMV experience but truly enjoyed the time with my oldest. I looked at him and thought how much his Dad would have enjoyed him too....if his Dad hadn't been an alcoholic, if his Dad didn't have emotional scars, if his Dad hadn't killed himself in a bought of depression.......
And so, acceptance is not even close in my levels of emotions right now. Even one is not acceptable.
Therefore, just once, I'm butting in. But it's not to rant but to share. I hit this web while doing a search on Meg Patterson. Skipper had commented on her research and work with electrical accupuncture on another topic. She is not dead but has had a stroke. Her misionary husband and her son speak for her and continue some of her work. The detox clinic they started in Mexico is still open, although unless you speak spanish don't it's difficult to comunicate. Her units are very different than TENS. They use a much lower current which promotes healing instead of only blocking pain temporarily like the TENS. The higher current units on the market like the ems could actually do damage on the neurons, so all units are not the same. Her research on all types of addictions is incredible, unmatched by even the "state-of-art" rehabs here. 80% with no relapse after 5 years. She brought her unit over to the US in the early 80's but wasn't sucessful in setting up similar clinics. She eventually went to Mexico instead. I guess the FDA and the medical lobby felt a little threatened.
There are 3 companies in the US that make units that use this technology. The outpatient clinic I work at has used two of them. We hadn't heard of them before and had spent quite a bit of time looking for something to help with addiction. Something with good research. Something that worked. We were pretty surprised when the right keywords finally pulled up 30 years of research on the technology. One manufacturer is in Philly--Dr. Harold Stecker. Dr. Meg gave him a prototype of her unit with clearance to sell. It's mainly marketed for nicotine withdrawal but we now know it covers opiates real well also. The other unit is made by the Aplha-Stim company out of Texas. It is FDA cleared for depression, anxiety, insomnia, and chronic pain. We feel this covers addictions too since those are the majority of symptoms.
We have found out this past year of renting, selling and giving away these units that they do more than just get people through withdrawal. We have seen people get mental abilities back that noone would have expected. We have seen clients give up addictions we didn't know they had. We have spent a good deal of time and money presenting this to tribes and facities. Unfortunately, they only cared how much it might help their sore knee or shed the few extra pounds they may be carrying. No real interest on how it might help their clients.
But these units are out there and are fairly easy to get and use. It's just that nobody is publisizing it. Conventional medicine would just rather treat drug addiction with more drugs. And Meg knew that doesn't work. It supresses the body's ability to get the neurotransmitters back to normal. It gets them addicted to potentially harmfull prescriptions (we have seen more need for Xanax addiciton than any streat drug--often introduced in rehab!!!) She also knew you need to take people off all psychotropics at once, but she had the machine to control the withdrawal. We have seen clients relapse if they continued to smoke or to drink a lot of caffine. But they would all agree that it wasn't too hard to quit all of their addictions with the units. They also learned how to avoid "relapse food." And they are getting better faster than any other method our councelor has seen in the past.
I am not trying to sell anything with this. We have yet to figure out how to get these out to those in need and not go bankrupt eventually. I just wanted you all to know about it and not feel that prescription drugs are your only option. If anyone is interested or wants more info, email us at ***@****. Thanks and continue to share that Angel.
Barb
hey I am on my third night of hydro withdrawal, and have been going through the days and evenning in hell. At night I have been taking Ambein to sleep and it has helped me avoid the sleepless nights. Does the use of the Ambein going to make the withdrawal symptons last longer.
Thank you for your concern, and for your story; i'm sure it was difficult to relive through your writing.
I've been kicking myself around (mentally) lately asking myself what the 'H' am i doing!!!
I look at my absoluately BEAUTIFUL children, and know that they deserve better!!! I love them with all my heart, and just can't imagine the 'super mom' i would be if i could just clean up!
I never want to hurt them in any way, and i don't want to hurt myself!
Maybe one day i'll get it!!!
Thanks!
Lv Jenny
I've been kicking myself around (mentally) lately asking myself what the 'H' am i doing!!!
I look at my absoluately BEAUTIFUL children, and know that they deserve better!!! I love them with all my heart, and just can't imagine the 'super mom' i would be if i could just clean up!
I never want to hurt them in any way, and i don't want to hurt myself!
Maybe one day i'll get it!!!
Thanks!
Lv Jenny
i'm back. thank the gods and the proper dose of oxycontin i was
able to do the 3 1/2 hour car ride up to nothwest iowa to visit
parents. the weather was beautiful and a lot of the farmers were
harvesting corn and mowing hay.i remember when i was a kid i was
fortunate to do a lot of harvest work on some of the very farms we drove by. a lot has changed since then. the aversge farm (when was a kid) was 400-500 acres. Now the average size farm there is 1200-2000 acres.
Witchywoman:
yes i got your e-mail through my wifes account. i wasn't quite sure if what i sent was appropiate. the day i wrote what i sent you, i had come home from work and looked at your web site. I was shocked at how much you looked like a class mate of mine. i even hauled the old year book to be sure. usually when ever i write something i rework it for several weeks before i feel it's right. what i sent you went straight on to the paper. my wife said it was good and so i left it alone and sent a copy to you. like i said in the writing, sonja is probably dead. it's to long a story to go into, but she (sonja) is/was a real person.
it seems i've developed a sleep disorder! yeah, restless leg syn-
drome. my regular put me on klonopin, 1 mg. i'm not real happy
being put on a benzo, so i'm looking for other ways to treat it.
i go see the pain doc tomarrow, and maybe he can off up some help
finding a way to treat it without benzo's
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
able to do the 3 1/2 hour car ride up to nothwest iowa to visit
parents. the weather was beautiful and a lot of the farmers were
harvesting corn and mowing hay.i remember when i was a kid i was
fortunate to do a lot of harvest work on some of the very farms we drove by. a lot has changed since then. the aversge farm (when was a kid) was 400-500 acres. Now the average size farm there is 1200-2000 acres.
Witchywoman:
yes i got your e-mail through my wifes account. i wasn't quite sure if what i sent was appropiate. the day i wrote what i sent you, i had come home from work and looked at your web site. I was shocked at how much you looked like a class mate of mine. i even hauled the old year book to be sure. usually when ever i write something i rework it for several weeks before i feel it's right. what i sent you went straight on to the paper. my wife said it was good and so i left it alone and sent a copy to you. like i said in the writing, sonja is probably dead. it's to long a story to go into, but she (sonja) is/was a real person.
it seems i've developed a sleep disorder! yeah, restless leg syn-
drome. my regular put me on klonopin, 1 mg. i'm not real happy
being put on a benzo, so i'm looking for other ways to treat it.
i go see the pain doc tomarrow, and maybe he can off up some help
finding a way to treat it without benzo's
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
Hi lady, and you are a lady! i have a story to tell you, not a pretty story, but, I want to tell you this because you are a beautuful lady that many people love, and we all love you on this forum. I have been reading your post and am afraid for you. When I was growing up in my abusive family, I had only one best friend. We did everythiing together. I was shy, and if anyone picked on my boys or girls she would beat them up. She was the best friend anyone could have in the world. She put up with my mom when she came to my house, no other friends would come to my house because my mom was so "strange". she was mentally ill and would just start yelling and screaming for no reason. Anyway, Debbie married a guy that I and my first husband introduced her too. They had 3 children. Then he left her and she had to go on welfard. She started working in a hospital down south, by that time I had moved north, but, we kept in touch. She met a doctor at the hospital who was doing his residency there. They started going out, he stole drugs from the hospital so they moved to another town. By this time she was living the good life, until he got her addicted to hard drugs. Then he kicked her and here 3 kids out and would not let her take the child they had together. I got a call from my sister saying Debbie was back and living on welfare, but, still working back at same hospital. THey were threatening to fire her because she was not coming to work on time(drugs). Then my sister called me two weeks later saying Debbie was missing. Two weeks later they found h er body down by the Little PeeDEe river. She had put a gun in her mouth and pulled the trigger. I went to see h er mom shortly after this and Debbie left a suicide note. I didn't ask to read it, I knew what it must say. I do have an addiction to stupid painkillers, and I am going to stop after this persription. I want to feel my life again. My back pain will just have to be eased some other way. I want you to save your beautiful life. Like and love yourself jennyfla. Do it for yourself, not for anyone else. This is not a lecture, this is reality, and I love you, and want you to stay around on this forum helping all of us. Take care sweetheart. I know you will make it one day real soon. It only takes being strong and loving yourself, no matter what else goes on around you.
Love Butterbean
Love Butterbean
Thank you so much for your help I will try again later when I have time. How is everything with you? I am really proud of you for coming so far I know its not easy for anyone towrite on these boards so with anxiety it must be hard but you are doing great!! I will always be here if you need anything just ask ok!! Julie
WW, How do we divide up the furniture between sites he he!!! Just when we are getting all of our Christopher Lowell painting done!! My goodness this is worse than a divorce it feels like we are dividing up the children LOL!! Ok Tara the big belly dancing lessons start today. I am just hoping I make it in ok. I went into NYC last night and it took me 2 hours it should only take 45 min. My friend bought the lessons for my birthday we are doing them together but its all the way down in the village so that could add on a lot of driving time too!! Do you know manhattan at all? Its kind of wierd going in and I have friends who are afraid but I feel inner peace about going in I know I will be safe. Hopefully that means I am becoming more in tune with myself I know when I was using a lot I lost some of that and I have always paid attention to and honored my intuitions. OK gotta go soon but any hints about the belly dancing would be appreciated!! Love ya Jules
Ginger, If you live anywhere in the NYC are I will come help you I know you don't know me but honestly I will help you I have a 20 month old who loves othere kids so he would love playing with your "baby"!! You are doing great and you can do this!! If you want to talk write me at ***@**** and we an arrange it ok? HUGS, Jules
Abbie, my son Cole is 20 months and we call him coleybear so thats where that came from. Bear just goes with him he is a cuddly little bear. I am so beyond ready to have more i just have to make sure this junk is under control. I live outside of NYC in NJ so we are far away unfortunately!! What part of CA are you in? I grew up in Utah and I am still a western girl I love New York but I miss the west so much. My e-mail is in Gingers note above so you can write me anytime too ok!! Your friend, Jules
Ginger, If you live anywhere in the NYC are I will come help you I know you don't know me but honestly I will help you I have a 20 month old who loves othere kids so he would love playing with your "baby"!! You are doing great and you can do this!! If you want to talk write me at ***@**** and we an arrange it ok? HUGS, Jules
Abbie, my son Cole is 20 months and we call him coleybear so thats where that came from. Bear just goes with him he is a cuddly little bear. I am so beyond ready to have more i just have to make sure this junk is under control. I live outside of NYC in NJ so we are far away unfortunately!! What part of CA are you in? I grew up in Utah and I am still a western girl I love New York but I miss the west so much. My e-mail is in Gingers note above so you can write me anytime too ok!! Your friend, Jules
jbear, I am here. I was not here for a few days, I have been having some setbacks. I have a new target date set for Nov 22, because I have 4 days off from work. I have a contact now, (angel, who will be checking in on me to help me with my little one, and general monitor on call while I have the "blue flu"once again. I am out of control right now and I want to stop doing these things. Always tomorrow and next time. I hope that I live withoutleaving mental scars on myself or others. people especially my baby ( 9 years old).Thank you for being here, this is where I come when I want to breath I am paranoid and I have been lying. I do not want this to happen.
Hi There,
I am a stay at home mom.My husband and I make our sacrifices to do so. Times are tough but this is the best situation for us. I wouldn't make enough money to put them in childcare and bring some extra earnings home. I glad to hear that you were able to get some free time to yourself. I'm learning more about asking for help and getting my needs met too! I like your jbear name. When I first signed on here I was thinking about calling myself cbear (Stands for carebear)thats what my younger brother and sister call me sometimes. I've got several things to do today. I have company coming on the 17th for a week. Oh Man, I'm going to have my husbands family for a week! YIKES !! By the way I'm in California. Where are you? What State? Have a good day Julie
Love, Abbie :)
I am a stay at home mom.My husband and I make our sacrifices to do so. Times are tough but this is the best situation for us. I wouldn't make enough money to put them in childcare and bring some extra earnings home. I glad to hear that you were able to get some free time to yourself. I'm learning more about asking for help and getting my needs met too! I like your jbear name. When I first signed on here I was thinking about calling myself cbear (Stands for carebear)thats what my younger brother and sister call me sometimes. I've got several things to do today. I have company coming on the 17th for a week. Oh Man, I'm going to have my husbands family for a week! YIKES !! By the way I'm in California. Where are you? What State? Have a good day Julie
Love, Abbie :)
hey people:
just wanted to let everyone know i'll be out of town for the next
couple days. time to take care of the parents again.
Shane: put your head down and walk into the wind. i know things
look real bad, but your off the hook. if you can't feel good about
that, then i can!
Jenny: you may be able to rid yourself of the bruises with compress
of hot water and epson salt. make a paste of epson salts and put
it in a wash cloth. apply the wash cloth to the bruised area.
please be careful, there are a lot of other hazards besides dirty
hypo equipment!
everyone keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
just wanted to let everyone know i'll be out of town for the next
couple days. time to take care of the parents again.
Shane: put your head down and walk into the wind. i know things
look real bad, but your off the hook. if you can't feel good about
that, then i can!
Jenny: you may be able to rid yourself of the bruises with compress
of hot water and epson salt. make a paste of epson salts and put
it in a wash cloth. apply the wash cloth to the bruised area.
please be careful, there are a lot of other hazards besides dirty
hypo equipment!
everyone keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
Hi Joan,
Please don't feel shame from my post.
I don't need any pills!! I suffer a bit of shoulder pain, but geez, i can handle it without all these pills!!!
Just try your best, and when you are fed up enough, you will be able to do it! Just stay close to this forum and try the new one. Just don't kick yourself around, you need to love yourself in order to help yourself; you're a special human being!!!!
Lv Jenny
Please don't feel shame from my post.
I don't need any pills!! I suffer a bit of shoulder pain, but geez, i can handle it without all these pills!!!
Just try your best, and when you are fed up enough, you will be able to do it! Just stay close to this forum and try the new one. Just don't kick yourself around, you need to love yourself in order to help yourself; you're a special human being!!!!
Lv Jenny
Here is what EZboard says to do if you don't receive the email...
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Hope this helps,
littleguy
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Hope this helps,
littleguy
After reading your post I just felt shame. Not for you but for myself. Shame because you have every reason to feel down and low. Shame because I don't need all the pills I take, shame because I only take them to be this super person that I am not. Jennyfla, I hope you find the strength to deal with what you are going through, I feel for you. Joan
Hey Kip,
I hope the long car ride is not hellish on your neck..I know you had a big problem with that last time you took a long ride. I'll be thinking of you and sending you healing. Give my love to your beautiful wife. Did you ever get my email response, that you sent me from the email on her account?
jbear, I know how you are feeling. I still feel sad about the changes on this board. Things do feel different here now, and that is very sad. I will still be here..this place was my salvation and I want to give back what I can, and I sure as hell still need support. The new board is good too. I feel split somehow, and don't like that, but change is the only constant in life, and so I'm trying to make the best of what happened here in the heart of the flames...trying to rise from the ashes.
I feel like I need to focus a lot on what recovery is for me right now. It is the most precious thing I have at the moment, freedom from those sweats every seven hours, freedom from chasing hard after a high that wouldn't come even after a high dose...freedom to have a REAL relationship with my husband again, rather than one filtered through a fog. The pill was my priority for so long, I forgot what my true priorities really were...I said I knew what they were, but until I started living them again I didn't know what I was missing.
My back is killing me the past few days. I'm on 800 mgs of motrin 3 times a day, it helps some. I take a valium a few times a week, it helps a bit. But I don't think that choosing to take narcotics for pain is the right path for me at this point. I'm too new in my recovery to risk it. That is my current struggle. I'm so scared that if I do what would relieve my pain, a mountain of emotional pain would soon follow and I'd loose my way again. The Dragon whispers, I pour Water on the flames of his breath..the Waters of Life, which I choose over the deathlike stupor I lived in for a few years.
Maybe someday I can take as prescribed for pain. Maybe someday my pain will get worse and I won't have a choice. But for today, I choose to feel.
My love to you all,
WW
I hope the long car ride is not hellish on your neck..I know you had a big problem with that last time you took a long ride. I'll be thinking of you and sending you healing. Give my love to your beautiful wife. Did you ever get my email response, that you sent me from the email on her account?
jbear, I know how you are feeling. I still feel sad about the changes on this board. Things do feel different here now, and that is very sad. I will still be here..this place was my salvation and I want to give back what I can, and I sure as hell still need support. The new board is good too. I feel split somehow, and don't like that, but change is the only constant in life, and so I'm trying to make the best of what happened here in the heart of the flames...trying to rise from the ashes.
I feel like I need to focus a lot on what recovery is for me right now. It is the most precious thing I have at the moment, freedom from those sweats every seven hours, freedom from chasing hard after a high that wouldn't come even after a high dose...freedom to have a REAL relationship with my husband again, rather than one filtered through a fog. The pill was my priority for so long, I forgot what my true priorities really were...I said I knew what they were, but until I started living them again I didn't know what I was missing.
My back is killing me the past few days. I'm on 800 mgs of motrin 3 times a day, it helps some. I take a valium a few times a week, it helps a bit. But I don't think that choosing to take narcotics for pain is the right path for me at this point. I'm too new in my recovery to risk it. That is my current struggle. I'm so scared that if I do what would relieve my pain, a mountain of emotional pain would soon follow and I'd loose my way again. The Dragon whispers, I pour Water on the flames of his breath..the Waters of Life, which I choose over the deathlike stupor I lived in for a few years.
Maybe someday I can take as prescribed for pain. Maybe someday my pain will get worse and I won't have a choice. But for today, I choose to feel.
My love to you all,
WW
I'm pooped!!! I took a 1/2 a valium before going to bed last night because my 'supply' of opiates was so low, i didn't want to have another 'hellnight' like two nights ago! It worked, didn't wake up til 5 am, but know i'm groggy!
I have just a little piece of something to take this morning, but i feel the willies acoming! I gave my last two percs to my hub so he wouldn't be shaking too much at the drs office later this afternoon!
I just hope he doesn't have any problems, we're both gonna be hurting bigtime by tonight!!!! He has backpain, so everything should go as planned!
Oh how I hate this life. I used to 'think' I had this under control, but now it seems i spend more time in withdrawals than actually thinking that i'm feeling 'good'!
Counting, worrying, waiting, anticipating, I HATE IT ALL!!!!!!!!
I've got these bruises on each arm, they look horrid!!!!
I'm wearing a longsleeve shirt because it looks like someone beat the ever loving **** out of me!!! Any remedies for fading bruises? I'm just not cut out to be a hypo user (THANK GOD!!!!)
Thanks for listening to my whining!!
Lv Jenny
I have just a little piece of something to take this morning, but i feel the willies acoming! I gave my last two percs to my hub so he wouldn't be shaking too much at the drs office later this afternoon!
I just hope he doesn't have any problems, we're both gonna be hurting bigtime by tonight!!!! He has backpain, so everything should go as planned!
Oh how I hate this life. I used to 'think' I had this under control, but now it seems i spend more time in withdrawals than actually thinking that i'm feeling 'good'!
Counting, worrying, waiting, anticipating, I HATE IT ALL!!!!!!!!
I've got these bruises on each arm, they look horrid!!!!
I'm wearing a longsleeve shirt because it looks like someone beat the ever loving **** out of me!!! Any remedies for fading bruises? I'm just not cut out to be a hypo user (THANK GOD!!!!)
Thanks for listening to my whining!!
Lv Jenny
Thank you so much for your post, i am so sorry that you are still feeling so depressed. I do remember you posting in the past, and all I can suggest is that you stay close to this board and also try the new board; I think it will help you trememdously just knowing that you are not alone in this!
Three months is still a short time off of pills, I can only suggest that you stay strong, and pat yourself on the back every single day for being brave enough to make the right step towards regaining your life back! It will get better, trust me! Staying in the life you were in has no future, at least know you have your life to look forward to. Besides this board, can you get into any other support groups? Are there hobbies that you enjoy to distract yourself. Have you been to a dr to possible get on some antidepressants temporarily. Witchywomen swears by HTP5, you can purchase it at any health food store. I suggest upping your B vitamins. The best I've found are B-150's available at any grocery store. They will give you alittle boost of energy that you may still be lacking!
I do feel for you, but know that you've done the right thing, and have come to far to turn back now. It's hell on this side, and try to remember the pain you experienced while addicted. I can't remember your story exactly, not sure if you have true pain, or if you received through a dr on the up and up!
I only hope that as time goes by, you feel better and better and can take full hold of your life again!
Good luck to you, and stay close, I want to know how you are doing!
Lv Jenny
Three months is still a short time off of pills, I can only suggest that you stay strong, and pat yourself on the back every single day for being brave enough to make the right step towards regaining your life back! It will get better, trust me! Staying in the life you were in has no future, at least know you have your life to look forward to. Besides this board, can you get into any other support groups? Are there hobbies that you enjoy to distract yourself. Have you been to a dr to possible get on some antidepressants temporarily. Witchywomen swears by HTP5, you can purchase it at any health food store. I suggest upping your B vitamins. The best I've found are B-150's available at any grocery store. They will give you alittle boost of energy that you may still be lacking!
I do feel for you, but know that you've done the right thing, and have come to far to turn back now. It's hell on this side, and try to remember the pain you experienced while addicted. I can't remember your story exactly, not sure if you have true pain, or if you received through a dr on the up and up!
I only hope that as time goes by, you feel better and better and can take full hold of your life again!
Good luck to you, and stay close, I want to know how you are doing!
Lv Jenny
Hello Jenny. I haven't posted for sometime as I have been so very depressed I can hardly function! Your last post did affect me so much though, I had to wright you. I too feel i'am in a living hell somtimes.The fact that I have no substantial reason to base these feelings just makes it all the worse. I have found'( much to my disapointment) that life is no better since I stoped using ( hydro, and Oxy's) three months ago. I am lost and don't know where to turn. Your aphorism; " I found an escape,and now I can't escape the escape" really struck me as true for myself also! I feel for you Jenny,I wish and pray that you will find peace and a better life.I love you and I don't even know you.Only your pain and hoplesness.Keep fighting and mabey someday we can enjoy life again(?) Always Shane
Kip,
Have a safe trip Kip, and you're a good person, I hope the ride is easier on you this time around!!! Thank you for the tips, and I really do hear you!
WW,
I loved reading your words, you describe how i feel exactly, only problem is, i'm still on the other side. Please trust me, you don't want to come back here. I catch glimpses of how i used to feel about something once in a while, only to realize that it's gone unless I concentrate!!!!
Sweats are the worst, and I'm just about out of my mind with them at night, I can't figure out what causes them with no change in my habit. Sometimes I get them, sometimes not!!!!
I hope it all gets easier for you, and I think it will over time, but for now, My thoughts are with you hoping that it becomes easier really really soon!!!!
Lv Ya,
Jenny
Have a safe trip Kip, and you're a good person, I hope the ride is easier on you this time around!!! Thank you for the tips, and I really do hear you!
WW,
I loved reading your words, you describe how i feel exactly, only problem is, i'm still on the other side. Please trust me, you don't want to come back here. I catch glimpses of how i used to feel about something once in a while, only to realize that it's gone unless I concentrate!!!!
Sweats are the worst, and I'm just about out of my mind with them at night, I can't figure out what causes them with no change in my habit. Sometimes I get them, sometimes not!!!!
I hope it all gets easier for you, and I think it will over time, but for now, My thoughts are with you hoping that it becomes easier really really soon!!!!
Lv Ya,
Jenny
Ginger are you out there and are you ok? I am thinking of you and am proud of you for the progress you have made I also have a hard time wiht others anger.
WW - I felt the same way about people leaving here that you did. I feel that I have bared so much of my heart and soul here and I don't want it to change but it already feels different. In one of Daniels posts I responded and then I apologized to everyone saying that I was sorry I had bothered to respond. I do not want to tell anyone what to do but I think we gave him satisfaction by responding we should have completely ignored him that is why I apologized anyway i just am worried about losing the feel of this place. Ok I am not sure how much sense I am making because Cole is climbing on me and now we have to go to the Thomas the tank engine site and play games. I will beback later. Love to you my friend - Jules
WW - I felt the same way about people leaving here that you did. I feel that I have bared so much of my heart and soul here and I don't want it to change but it already feels different. In one of Daniels posts I responded and then I apologized to everyone saying that I was sorry I had bothered to respond. I do not want to tell anyone what to do but I think we gave him satisfaction by responding we should have completely ignored him that is why I apologized anyway i just am worried about losing the feel of this place. Ok I am not sure how much sense I am making because Cole is climbing on me and now we have to go to the Thomas the tank engine site and play games. I will beback later. Love to you my friend - Jules
Jenny:
no lecture, i've been where i fear your heading, so of course i
must allow you to find things out for your self. i guess this post-
ing is some sort of plea to come to your senses. 25 years + of IV
drug abuse has left your friend kip here with very little to sup-
rise or gross out. after reading your posting about your begining with the skinny steal to try and streach your supply of drugs i wanted to cry... if you were in the same room as me i don't know how i would react. see Jenny, iv drug abuse ups the ante as far as
the total amount of health risks involved with drug abuse. like i
said, the last thing i'ld ever want to do is lecture you... but you must appreciate the concern i feel about this...
jenny you were the first person to ever extend a welcome to me on
this forum. although we are vastly different people, i could not imagine this forum without your pressence...
please, please get a handle on things and put the hypo aside! you
are risking to many things to those who need and depend upon you!
i guess i've failed at not lecturing you! believe me, with my own
past i can not judge you. i do not wish to pass judgement, i only
want you to stop with the hypo before it's consequence manifests
itself!
your friend who wants an angel on your shoulder
kip
no lecture, i've been where i fear your heading, so of course i
must allow you to find things out for your self. i guess this post-
ing is some sort of plea to come to your senses. 25 years + of IV
drug abuse has left your friend kip here with very little to sup-
rise or gross out. after reading your posting about your begining with the skinny steal to try and streach your supply of drugs i wanted to cry... if you were in the same room as me i don't know how i would react. see Jenny, iv drug abuse ups the ante as far as
the total amount of health risks involved with drug abuse. like i
said, the last thing i'ld ever want to do is lecture you... but you must appreciate the concern i feel about this...
jenny you were the first person to ever extend a welcome to me on
this forum. although we are vastly different people, i could not imagine this forum without your pressence...
please, please get a handle on things and put the hypo aside! you
are risking to many things to those who need and depend upon you!
i guess i've failed at not lecturing you! believe me, with my own
past i can not judge you. i do not wish to pass judgement, i only
want you to stop with the hypo before it's consequence manifests
itself!
your friend who wants an angel on your shoulder
kip
Jenny my friend..I also have no lectures. Just support and love for you, and hoping that you can find your way through this safely.
Let us be your port in the storm.
Please, take good care of yourself.
love,
WW
Let us be your port in the storm.
Please, take good care of yourself.
love,
WW
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