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Question about relapse
by SamHan, Dec 29, 2006 12:00AM
Hey everyone. This is an excellent forum and has been very helpful. My question is I've been c/t off Norco 10/325 (6-8/day) for 3 days and then while going through a drawer in my office I stumbled across a half a pill. I impulsively took it with the self-delusion of "this will help ease the symptoms." I have no access to any other pills right now. My question is does this reset my physical withdrawal clock? Will I be going back to day one with all of the bad symptoms starting all over again? Anyone have experience with this? Very briefly, I've been through this before and I hate it!!! I was clean/sober 14 years at one time and then relapsed. I still attend meetings and have support but I've had a few one month relapses on Norco after my ankylosing spondylitis flares up and I get frustrated with no pain relief after doing water exercies, chiropractic, ibuprofen and I give into "I just need a break with some hydro." Then, I get into the cycle again and have the withdrawal all over because of thinking "just one" which leads to....well, you know. I haven't told anyone about this and feel like my sobriety isn't "real." Just like everyone else here I have the horrible insomnia/sweats/depression/etc. I have felt very lonely about this. Feedback would be appreciated.
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I went 27 hours w/o anything after a slow taper - and then the stress of the holidays and in-laws - and like you, took 1/2 tab.
I was doing well - I mean, I still felt like a** after 27 hours, but I could see light...and then the 1/2 tab seemed to send me back 5 days or more. The suck part for me was that I had access to more - and it was hard to control the dosage - but I managed to stay under 10mg - but I saw that as a relapse considering I had been at 5mg for over a week and then nothing for the longest time in my life since 2001.
So - bottom line - I know how you feel - but what is done is done - and you cannot beat yourself up over it. But yes - I have noticed that even that small amount after nothing for so long can send you back to where you started. Do not pass go!
Hang in there - stay with the forum - it has really helped me - knowing I'm not in this big ol boat alone!!!!