Aa
Question from shocked wife of newly disclosed husband's opiate use/abuse.
Hello, My husband has just told me that he has been using/abusing opiates for over a year and a half without my knowledge. (I did wonder where the money was going but didn't think of anything like that.) Anyway, he is detoxing himself (allegedly) and is very weepy and has an answer for everthing. He is suddenly an expert on drug detox and withdrawal and everything related. He is almost 40 years old. We are upper middle class people, have 5 sons from toddler age to college......I am at a loss. Question - is it likely he can detox himself?
OMG I just finished reading this post and I am sitting here in shock. I just got out of a detox program for opiates and can't sleep and thought I would come on here to read up on others and found this wow.
Kat if you want to save your marriage you have to get professional help for him. He is getting worse and worse and is heading down a path of destruction. YOU nor HIM can get him out of this without professional help. This means he has to go into a real detox program no excuses I run 3 businesses with 20 plus employees and found a way to disapear for two weeks to get clean by professionals. they will deal with his sleep disorder and help him get off the drugs and alcohol.
Every day seams to escalate for you and I just sat here watching your marriage going from good to worse within a few weeks. He needs your support but he also needs to want to get clean and save your life together. I can't believe he is turning to alcohol now and your not taking a real stand with him about it. Addicts will try to fill their addictions with other things when they come off drugs and this is exactly what he is doing, have a talk with him let him know you want him to get professional help and stop drinking.
I truly hope he see's the light and realizes he can have a beautiful life drug and alcohol free. best of luck to you both I truly believe if you don't adress this very soon you will see your marriage suffer.
Kat if you want to save your marriage you have to get professional help for him. He is getting worse and worse and is heading down a path of destruction. YOU nor HIM can get him out of this without professional help. This means he has to go into a real detox program no excuses I run 3 businesses with 20 plus employees and found a way to disapear for two weeks to get clean by professionals. they will deal with his sleep disorder and help him get off the drugs and alcohol.
Every day seams to escalate for you and I just sat here watching your marriage going from good to worse within a few weeks. He needs your support but he also needs to want to get clean and save your life together. I can't believe he is turning to alcohol now and your not taking a real stand with him about it. Addicts will try to fill their addictions with other things when they come off drugs and this is exactly what he is doing, have a talk with him let him know you want him to get professional help and stop drinking.
I truly hope he see's the light and realizes he can have a beautiful life drug and alcohol free. best of luck to you both I truly believe if you don't adress this very soon you will see your marriage suffer.
Hi,
Yes, the alcohol has now become a daily thing (4 days now). I kind of feel like I am walking on egg shells around him a bit. I don't know whether to say something - not say something- ?????? As I said before, he was at the bar earlier and I mentioned something - nicely - with a really nice voice - and he was a bit freaked. He was home an hour later. But, here is the thing, he came home, we took the boys down to the beach - just walked down there for a half and hour, got home about 20 mins ago - well - he went to lay down in our room. I just went in to see if he wanted to eat with us and he is fast asleep!! I guess that is good but why????? I'm thinking - I know he had a few beers but did he take something????? I just dont know - and, quite frankly, it is the not knowing that scares me. Eeks.
Anyway, he was going to hang with the boys tonight so I could go to that meeting - pretty sure that isn't going to happen now so I have to see if my older son and the girlfriend will watch the youngest boys.
Bottom line - I am going to go and I am glad he is sleeping. Haven't heard him snore in a long time. Who knew I'd be missing that?????!!!! lol
Kat
Yes, the alcohol has now become a daily thing (4 days now). I kind of feel like I am walking on egg shells around him a bit. I don't know whether to say something - not say something- ?????? As I said before, he was at the bar earlier and I mentioned something - nicely - with a really nice voice - and he was a bit freaked. He was home an hour later. But, here is the thing, he came home, we took the boys down to the beach - just walked down there for a half and hour, got home about 20 mins ago - well - he went to lay down in our room. I just went in to see if he wanted to eat with us and he is fast asleep!! I guess that is good but why????? I'm thinking - I know he had a few beers but did he take something????? I just dont know - and, quite frankly, it is the not knowing that scares me. Eeks.
Anyway, he was going to hang with the boys tonight so I could go to that meeting - pretty sure that isn't going to happen now so I have to see if my older son and the girlfriend will watch the youngest boys.
Bottom line - I am going to go and I am glad he is sleeping. Haven't heard him snore in a long time. Who knew I'd be missing that?????!!!! lol
Kat
He really concerns me that he is switching now from opiates to alcohol. Didn't he get a pill from someone at work or something?
I wish he would realize that he could have been through the physical withdrawal by now and would not be going through all of this. I hope for both your sakes that he gets professional help.
I think a meeting is perfect for you. You will learn a lot from people who are going through, or have gone through, exactly what you are now. Let us know how you are doing.
I wish he would realize that he could have been through the physical withdrawal by now and would not be going through all of this. I hope for both your sakes that he gets professional help.
I think a meeting is perfect for you. You will learn a lot from people who are going through, or have gone through, exactly what you are now. Let us know how you are doing.
Hi - I am back.I suggested to my hub that he come on here. So - he said he set up an account and all. I am just going to do my thing and hopefully - he will just do his. Last night was tough. He is stil having a hard time sleeping. Naturally, the 2 six packs of Coors Light prob didn't help. But, since I now can't sleep either here is what happened- he was in our room about midnight trying to sleep- and I was in the living room.Well, I heard him run to the bathroom in our room and he was heaving really loud - sounded painful actually. I went in there and he told me - yelled at me - to get out. I did. About 10 mins later - I heard him talking so I thought he was calling me or on the phone or something. I went back in. He was in bed - his phone was on his bureau - the house phone was still where it belonged. I asked who he was talking too and he said he wasn't talking to anyone. Ummmmm - yes he was. And, his speech was slurred and he was talking gibberish - I couldn't make heads or tails of it. So - he must have been taking something. I really don't think it is the opiates - (apparently I've been seeing that behavior for a while now) I'm thinking that he is taking too much sleep stuff - ativan and whatever else. Maybe his stomach isn't dealing with it well.
Right now, 4p.m. ET, he is at the local bar with his buddy. OMG!!! He called me about an hour ago and said, "Hey, I am going to meet so and so and I will be home about 5 for supper". I said, "Do you think you should do that?" Well, I guess I shouldn't have said that? He got a little huffy - not too bad - but he said he was fine and just going for a beer or two.
He is blaming the sickness of last night and the sleeplessness, not only on the WD but also on the Abilify that his gen practitioner gave him last week. Oh, and he told me that he did lie to his doc about the depression. He said that he told his doc that he was really depressed and couldn't sleep and all that but didn't tell him aout the Oxycontin or the WD so the doc gave him the antidepressants without knowing the real deal.
Hmmmmm
Anyway, I am thinking about going to the alanon meeting at 7 tonight. It is at a different place actually about half an hour away but, well, I really like the town that it is in so maybe I will go.
Hope you all are well.
Happy you all are here for me(us).
Kat
Right now, 4p.m. ET, he is at the local bar with his buddy. OMG!!! He called me about an hour ago and said, "Hey, I am going to meet so and so and I will be home about 5 for supper". I said, "Do you think you should do that?" Well, I guess I shouldn't have said that? He got a little huffy - not too bad - but he said he was fine and just going for a beer or two.
He is blaming the sickness of last night and the sleeplessness, not only on the WD but also on the Abilify that his gen practitioner gave him last week. Oh, and he told me that he did lie to his doc about the depression. He said that he told his doc that he was really depressed and couldn't sleep and all that but didn't tell him aout the Oxycontin or the WD so the doc gave him the antidepressants without knowing the real deal.
Hmmmmm
Anyway, I am thinking about going to the alanon meeting at 7 tonight. It is at a different place actually about half an hour away but, well, I really like the town that it is in so maybe I will go.
Hope you all are well.
Happy you all are here for me(us).
Kat
There are several web forums for recovery and your husband if he chooses to can join anyone of them. In my opinion you found this site and have become familure with us and it helps you some, so I say take care of you and stay here there are plenty of places on the web hubby can go. Of course do what you feel comfortable with. As always it's just my opinion which I still think I should share with others often times asked for or not( god isn't finished with me yet):-) great job going to the meeting I am proud that you didn't let anything get in your way. Let us know how the next one goes please.
Becca
Becca
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I guess for someone who is an insomniac getting off the opiates would probably really through their sleeping patterns out of whack. The ability to get a normal nights sleep seems to be the last thing that returns to normal as far as the physical withdrawals go.