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1216523 tn?1285110208

Question from shocked wife of newly disclosed husband's opiate use/abuse.

Hello, My husband has just told me that he has been using/abusing opiates for over a year and a half without my knowledge. (I did wonder where the money was going but didn't think of anything like that.) Anyway, he is detoxing himself (allegedly) and is very weepy and has an answer for everthing. He is suddenly an expert on drug detox and withdrawal and everything related. He is almost 40 years old. We are upper middle class people, have 5 sons from toddler age to college......I am at a loss. Question - is it likely he can detox himself?
Best Answer
Avatar universal
Some people have a very hard time sleeping during the first week or two of withdrawals.  If it's been more than two weeks that he's been completely off the opiates then I'm not sure what would do it.  Unfortunately I know nothing about steroids.  

I guess for someone who is an insomniac getting off the opiates would probably really through their sleeping patterns out of whack.  The ability to get a normal nights sleep seems to be the last thing that returns to normal as far as the physical withdrawals go.
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352798 tn?1399298154
It may be good for him to come on here but then that makes me worried about you. Where will your support come from? Who will answer your questions and concerns? Do what you need to do and what you feel is best. You can always reach any of us by sending a PM. (click on any name and 'send message'. The trouble with PMs are you don't get everybody's input, only one person's thoughts.
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Avatar universal
Kay just so you know I am still pulling for you.
Becca
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Avatar universal
Remember something else, a big part of the reason why people lie to their spouse is because they know or perceive the truth will only lead to fighting.

If he can tell you, the TRUTH, about his addiction(s) and emotional problems, without you judging and confronting him, if he can truly confide in you as his wife and emotional partner, I'm telling you the both of you can beat this.

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Avatar universal
And by no means in my little rant above about support and compassion do I mean for you to enable him in any way.

Make it clear that this is it, he needs to flush these things from his body and mind once and for all.

But the only way that's going to work is if he can de-isolate his problems and emotions, and find comfort in -you-, the one thing I'm sure he loves more than anything in the world.
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Avatar universal
Okay, I'm going to be completely honest here.

Kat, you need to RELAX. Believe me, I understand and realize the hurt/anger/pain you're experiencing because of the deceptions and revelations.

But you NEED to realize that the #1 thing that is going to help your husband through this extremely difficult time is love and support. I don't mean turning a blind eye, what I mean is exactly the opposite.

Talk to him. Listen. Show him that you're there for him, and he can OPEN UP to you. Make him let you in, and be there for him. Don't make him feel like he's going through his own personal hell alone. I know it sounds funny, but you need to put your emotional pain on the backburner, as he is the addict, and his right now is the one that needs addressing.

If you love, cherish, and wish to build an even stronger relationship with your husband, you NEED to show love and support through this time. I know it's difficult, but if you attack in anger, you're going to back him into a corner and risk worsening his addiction and/or lesson his chances of successful detox.

My advice is clear, direct, and simple:

Be there for him, love him, make him feel like he's not going through this alone, make him OPEN UP to you about everything, make him feel that he can trust you without you JUDGING him.

It's critically important at this point.
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271792 tn?1334979657
Hi Kat,

He is really having a hard time and if he would just ask for help he would not be going through all of this. He has an answer for everything and I gotta tell you--all of the answers stink! Do you know how easy it is to switch addictions? By that I mean to go from pills to alcohol?

If he would just listen he would be almost done with the withdrawal by now. At some point he has got to give up and ask for help. And NOT from the people who are enabling him.

The pill on the dresser is probably Oprana. It is an opiate and just as dangerous and addicting as Oxycontin.

I will keep praying for you and for him that he comes to his senses before he kills himself.
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