Question of effects of Opiates

[codeinewife]

Hi, I have a question about the effects of opiate addiction.  I feel like an idiot in a way, I will be talking to someone and will say I had such and such issue in my marriage and then found out my husband was addicted to Codeine and the response is usually "That makes sense, that's the drugs".  It's like everyone knows all this stuff but me.  My husband has been taking 30mg. of codeine phosphate stuff for who knows how long (admits to 7 years, but I think longer)- he had order 180 tabs of 30mg. codeine phosphate 7 times in 9 months, and that was from only two sources that I found out about.  Now he has moved on to Tylenol N3 - apparently this is Tylenol with 30mg. of codeine, acetaminaphin (sp?) and caffeine.  Seems to me, this "new" codeine will be even worse for him.  What are the emotional and physical ramifications of this much codeine and now tylenol with codeine on a person?  Maybe this isn't the right place to ask, but I keep reading and reading and just can't seem to get a complete answer in one place.  Thanks for your help.  Also - he keeps insisting he's tapering, but he just ordered 240 tabs of tylenol N3, somehow this just doesn't seem like tapering to me.  Again - thanks for any help

[codeinewife]

Thank you all for your help.  It's that "crazy" thing I guess.  I've been left feeling crazy for so long that I question everything now - which is why I go to Alanon, and NA meetings.  Feels better to know I am not crazy and this is usual behavior, etc.  I don't think he sees it as a problem, let alone his problem  - it's thanks to the drs. and thanks to his friends that taught him how to find the stuff on-line in europe, etc.  I'm making the choice to not be married - doesn't matter that he's made almost 10 years of choosing to ignore me and my needs, etc.  It really is a difficult situation for everyone concerned.  I am doing what I need to to inform myself - because I do need to know, I need to know what I've been living with all these years and didn't realize it, and then I need to learn how to get out of it (emotionally I mean - the whole codep. thing).  All of you with your reality and true clear words have helped me a lot, and I really do appreciate it.  Anything else you think I should know, fire away.  I am on a learning curve here.  

[GoingToMakeIt]

Think of these drugs as their own entity. They have their own mind and agenda. Nothing but what they wants matters to them. Your husband will need to come to grips that he has a problem. It doesn't sound like he is there yet. Unless he wants to get free, he won't.
Be as supportive and understanding as you can be. Search this forum and the web on these drugs. Look up opiates, etc.. This will arm you with info. that will help you to understand what he is going through. Right now one of the biggest concerns could be liver damage. 4000mg is the MAX amount that the body can handle PER day! Not per dose. If he will, check his liver enzymes. (Blood test)
Keep in touch here. There is much strength and help here for you. Maybe see if your husband would read posts in this forum. It helps an addict to see that he isn't alone. That even though he didn't mean to, he got hooked. There are tons of stories where this has happened. He might feel he has this under control, but deep down inside, I am willing to bet he knows otherwise. The first step to getting free is acknowledging that 'I' have a problem. You are in my prayers.

[nogie1717]

I used to do the same things your husband is doing to my wife when I was using.  She sought psychiatric help b/c she thought she was going crazy.  She would say, "Why did you take out $100 from our checking account" and I would say "I told you that I had to pay __________ (insert lie of choice here)."  It is awful the way we addicts can be so callous and like trout said- SELFISH.

The best advice I can give you is to seek help at Narc anon or Al anon.  I don't think talking to your husband is going to do anything but create static.  He obviously doesn't want to admit that he has a problem and doesn't want to work on your relationship.

Keep posting.  I have found that venting can work wonders.

Luke

[Lotsatrout]

Well.... It's like this....  Obviously your husband has a problem.  There is no doubt about that.  I read every word of your post and just in what you typed spells A D D I C T I O N.  Codeine is an opiate but not as strong as some of the other such as Norco, Vicodin, Oxycodone (my drug of choice) and some others as well.  The problem with opiates is that after awhile we build a tolerance to them so it requires us to take more and more until our brains are satisfied.  

The only way to avoid the tolerance building is to take them as PRESCRIBED and for as short of an amount of time as possible.  By the way, you never mentioned a prescription so I'm assuming that he is obtaining these pills illegally unless you are in Canada where you can buy them over the counter.  

Addiction is a VERY selfish disease.  We start to lose sight of the things in our lives that are important to us such as our spouse and our kids (for those who have them).  It's really a very sad thing because after awhile all we care about is ourselves and how we can get our next fix.  Your husband sounds as though he is in pretty deep.  If he has admitted to 7 years of use (non-legitimate?) then he probably is.  

You're right... the Tylenol is a liver killer or at least it can be.  You would have to see how many mg's of tylenol are in his pills to really know how much he is consuming.  The suggested daily maximum intake is 4000mg's in a 24 hour period.  Anything above this amount can, after time, cause liver problems.  Is there anyway you can get him to snoop around this forum?  You know, let him see some of the horror stories on here?  Maybe he would see a reflection of himself if he did... kinda like looking in a mirror.  

Please keep posting and keep us updated.  You will find lots of great advice and support here.  

Trout

[codeinewife]

I think you could call him a "functioning addict".  But, it's beginning to look less functional to me.  Problems in our marriage include (but are obviously not limited to):  No sex - haven't had sex since 2004 with very few times of "fooling around" since (like maybe 4 times in 3 years), no connection at all emotionally - this has always been a problem, we don't talk about anything all the way through, i.e. talked a few years ago if we want to have a child we should do it soon as I wasn't getting any younger - said he'd think about it, tried not to push him, clearly stated to him that I thought we should really explore it and make a decision. A year later, I brought it up and said how he never got back to me about that and never thought about it (I know never say never!) and he got angry saying he thinks about it everyday, don't tell him what he thinks, etc.  He decided that we were fine and he decided it would be too much to put me through, etc.  End of that subject.  These sort of "discussions" leave me feeling unresolved - and this is just one example.  Coming home from work - not matter what time 2, 3, 4 or 5 and going to bed to sleep, getting up to eat then back to bed.  Needing that sodium magnesium all the time to have a bowel movement.  The list goes on and on.  One thing that always made me nuts was his "reality".  It always seems so different to me than mine - not just slightly, completely.  Made me wonder who was living in the "real" world.  Short example and not the whole story, I told him he should have discussed taking a week-long trip with me before making plans, he said he is and did talk to me first and that plans could be changed.  At that moment the telephone rang and his friend asked me to tell my husband that that week worked for him.  I hung up and said to him you did not tell me first, obviously - he continued to insist that he did tell me first.  I really felt crazy after that one.  Doesn't get along with much of his family, everything is always someone else not appreciating him, or doing something "to" him, etc.  He will say to someone he will help them do something, but the next day, if he's not in the mood, he will say he doesn't have time or can't do whatever and blows it off.  These are just some of things I wonder how much are the drugs?  Then there's the liver issues that I keep hearing about, how long can he do this stuff without permanently damaging his liver and kidneys (he doesn't pee alot either besides having bowel problems).  I've heard the codeine is hard enough but that the acetaminaphin (sp?) is really not good.  Anyhow, was trying not to be long-winded, but I guess there's just no help for it.  I only just recently found out about the addiction, so you can imagine why I have all these questions, I know nothing and feel very uninformed.  Any clarity is appreciated, I just need to know a more about what I've been living with, what the effects are/were and what can possibly be explected.  Thanks

[Nia24]

This is the right place to ask.  I don't know about the Tylenol N3, but I have been on 3 different opiates.  I'm always more relaxed when I'm using, it's when I start to withdraw that the problems begin.  Anxiety, irritability, intense pain... everywhere, depression, etc.  What kind of issues have been blamed on the drugs?  I think usually when people are addicted for that long, the drug pretty much rules their life, so I can definitely see how it would cause problems.