Why dont you talk to us, and tell us whats going on and how youre feeling? You said in your OP that you want support and we are all here to give that to you!
Ellie, you sound so lonely to me too. Do you know that in order to stop drinking you need help? Alcohol detox is difficult and can make you very sick. Would it be possible to check into a hospital for a few days? Maybe they could help you with the detox and with any other probs that you may have? I'll tell you something that I don't share with most people.....
My husband used to drink like you. It was before I met him, but he would drink at night, in his office at home, in front of the computer, until he literally passed out from it! He got SO sick that way. He regularly attends AA to this day after 3 stints in treatment over a few years. Maybe the AA meeting you went to wasn't for you, but you could try out a different one. Or try NA. Go to your therapist. Tell someone and ask how to get help, ok? You can stop and be happy now!!! My hubby is living proof of that!
Please come back and talk to us. You'll get help here!
Hi Elle, and sorry your so down but its good your reaching out as many of us here are and were the same as you so we have understanding.
I could not go cold turkey with pills so tried tapering. This worked for me as was taking quite a few for a long time. With less in my system the withdrawals were more manageable and actually got used to the feeling. It does take a while with this technique and you need some supervision. I had my doctor help me with this as put me on a regime and would not refill before the alloted time. I did need medication as have a sever back joint problem but was over taking my script.
Keep letting us know how your feeling.
Why exactly is AA "not for you"?? As dominosarah said, what are you willing to change? You are here, so thats a start...Keep talking....
What are you willing to do to change things? You sound very lonely. Pills and drinking are a deadly combination. How much are you drinking? How many pills are you taking? We are here to support you so please keep talking to us~