Quitting Oxys and Perks.. on my own, scared of depression

[jlaura88888]

I'm a 22 year old girl, I don't even know why I began doing pills, it was all recreational. Then it just progressed becuase I had money to spend and a "why not" attitude. Plus it made me feel nice. Now I'm looking back on my life a realizing it's been 3 years straight. I feel like I've missed out on things already in my life, and I feel like I haven't felt a real emotion or feelings toward anything in so long. I know I need to stop and I do really want to, becuase I remember the motivation I used to have before pills (now I feel like pills are my motivation!). I keep this all a secret from most people, other than my close group of firends - who all do pills aswell but have no urge to stop. I just want to live a normal, active and healthy lifestyle. The thing is... I can stop, I stop and start all the time (only stopping for a couple days at a time), I can deal with the few days of withdrawls.... the thing that always makes me start again.. is that as soon as I'm off them, I get SO depressed, lonely and everything upsets me. I work full time and I need to be mentally aware and "on" at all times so I cannot stand this feeling. Does anyone have any advice for me? I don't want to be on anti-depressants or anything, I need to be 1000% sober to feel good about myself again.

[overopiates]

Also do u have n e history of depression?Just so u know(and u can get an anti depressant that will naturally put seratonin back)when u use/abuse opiates the take ALL the natural chemicals out of ur brain n large quanties that make u happy,feel excitement&joy.I am almost a year clean,take cymbalta&w/n10days of being clean I was well past w/d physically and then I mentally started to feel a lot better.Just a thought

[overopiates]

I didnt read the other responses but u feel all those emotions a couple days n and its totally normal during w/d.U r saying u wanna quit but the w/d is the reason u continue?If thats the case well this site is a wealth of information.How many/much r u taking on average a day?Ur young which is great as far as how quickly u will get through the w/d.I assume u get them from someone&dont have a script(very common).Do u have a doctor u can see?U have a few options.1st u can detox@home with some things that will help A LOT2ease ur w/d symptoms.Have u looked@the thomas recipe on here its filled w/a list of things that will help tons.Look it up.Here r a few things that r on the list&r the best4w/d symtoms.NAME BRAND IMMODIUM(not generic its doesnt do the same).It helps so much w/all ur tummy issues,also helps w/other symptoms.Take generously as needed.It have(n basic terms)the elements of opiates that help w/diareah&other symptoms its kind of like opiate w/o getting u high at all its binds u up like opiates.Also the anxiety&sleep r the other2of the3most complained about w/d symptoms.N the thomas recipe(I was prescribed them when I quit)a benzo for the severe anxiety&2help u rest,any otc p.m med will do wonders for sleep.If u can c a dr. PLEASE DO.U will get a lot of help too.B honest100%,they wont judge they r usually impressed ur quiting&ur honesty.They can prescibe some amazing meds2help with the w/d.I got clonidine(a blood pressure med thats widely used for opiate abuse&so many of us have gotten them they helped w/@least75%of my w/d from150or more mg of lortab a day.Uf u dnt take benzos they will give u a small amount of them too for the severe anxiety thats unbelievable n the first week of w/d.Please let us know if u can go2any dr.(U b honest u have been getting them on the street that doesnt matter&Ive even heard a couple people got these@the E.R. as a last resort but u will have a much easier time w/a primary care or any dr like that.Give us more info we can help u more
SO U KNOW  ALL THOSE"FRIENDS" u have to lose each&everyone&aftercare is a must

[4WendyJ]

Depression seems to go hand in hand with being weaned off these drugs. You will not just bounce right back no matter what age you are.  These things we put into our bodies take a real toll on us. Also, you mentioned you had been taking the pills for three years straight.  You have to be patient with yourself to come back to a normal sobriety.  I have no doubt that you can achieve that 1000% in a short time.  Try a lot of physical exercise, mind exercises, and a good nutritious diet.  Keep in touch with us and find an NA meeting.  I found so much help there.  Relaxation tequniques are also very helpful with the anxiety.  If the depression keeps hanging on then it is time to see your family doctor and you can go from there.  I am proud of you.  You can do this.  Let me know how it is going. WendyJones  

[steve1220]

hi and welcome........ theres not more i can say kyle covered it pretty good !!! but i will say you quitting and hanging around with your friends that use still is not going to work !!! take it from me that will just lead to relapse again and again you might want to tell them cant see ya for awile at least till you get well !!!if your going to do this w/d please read the thomas recipe and stock up on some of the things on there !!! it will help you for sure best of luck and remember this is doable hang in there and keep posting it helps to stay strong !!!!!
    steve

[kyle505]

Welcome to the forum. I'm sure there will be other along soon to offer their insight and knowledge.
A couple of things - you are exactly right in what you said (and I like the way you phrased it) the pills are your motivation. The high and warm, fuzzy feeling is something that we've all ran to. And we find that, the longer we use, the more we have to take to get that feeling, and the shorter it lasts.
Mild depression, feeling alone, being on edge - those are all symptoms of detox, and they go away the longer you're clean. Being honest, days three and four of withdrawals can be hell, but then it gets better. I'm looking at day 120 clean, and can tell you that the natural high from living life clean is MUCH better than anything a pill can do - it is more intense and lasts longer.
You can do this, but a word of caution - if you have a source (your friends that use?) easily available, then the odds are against you relative to getting clean. You've already been through it - at about day 2 or 3 your head starts talking to you, and that's the time when we are all most susceptible to relapse.
Keep posting; we are here for you and will help you do this. You know in your heart that it's time.