Quitting this **** is fkn hard!

[googzy]

I was up to 20+ hydro 10/325 a day at my max, but usually I was taking 10 a day.... it's ******* hard to quit this little damn pill, haha!

Damn, I remember taking one or two of the 5/500 and feeling high for hours... After a year of titrating to higher doses, I could sometimes pop 15 in my mouth and barely feel high at all... i would only feel "normal" when i took them damn little pills because I was/am in a constant state of withdrawal... I've been trying to withdraw and taper for a long time now, and somehow I keep bouncing back to taking 8 or 10.

I don't really care about the horrible physical withdrawal symptoms, pain, leg jerkin... but I can't stand being so damn depressed all the time, ESPECIALLY when withdrawing...

10 pills was my usual dose... and today I'm down to 5... i'm halfway there and the entire journey has been shhhiitttyyy!! Tomorrow, I plan on taking only 4.. then 3... then 2... then 1... but somehow I can' t making it down to only taking 4 a day...

If I can go through tomorrow with only taking four... that will be a HUGE milestone for me... I hope I can make it!!

Damn.. the problem is that I want to stop taking them because I don't want to be addicted to them and feel the withdrawals... and it's getting pricey... but really. I love the high and I don't know if I can get used to not being high... it's scary to think that I'm going to have to function and live my life without being high... I hope this feeling goes away SOON!

[dochollywood]

Just a couple things, you are doing really well with your taper and it's almost impossible to taper off without side effects.  If you could get it down to 4 or 5 of the 10 mg tabs daily for a bit and then quit cold turkey, you won't have such a hard time.  Depending upon how long you've been taking them 3-7 days before you feel good.

It's hard during that time, but that time does past.  You take ibupurofen for aches (if you don't have problems taking motrin), immodium for diarrha, some claritin or benadryl or zyrtec if you sneeze a lot and something to make you sleep.  That would be valium, xanax, benadryl, tradadone, whatever you got for a few days.

It's hard but it passes and you feel better and happier, I promise.

Go outside and get some sun to prevent depression.  Ignore work or anything that gives you pressure for a week.  Plenty of fluids, a good vitamin and get yourself moving the minute you have the strength.

I can't tell you how well you are doing already.  I know you are feeling wd aleady.  It just more of the same when you stop, but no breaks.  However it ends faster when you stop the pills compared to when you are still taking a few.

I wish you luck and you will succeed.

[dochollywood]

Sometimes a little weed will cure the blues, but only if that's your thing.

[googzy]

Hahah @weed reference, i was just telling my buddy, that i hate smoking weed... especially compared to the hydro high ;) ... if i smoked some weed right now i't get so paranoid and my mind would start racing with so man thoughts that I think i'd go bezerk!!!!

Thanks for the tips, the physical symptoms are ****** don't get me wrong, but a walk in the park compared to the mental anguish and temptation to get high... that's what always does me in, the desire to get high. I would trade it all the cramps and backaches in the world if only I wasn't so damn depressed and accustomed to be being high just to talk with strangers at a restaurant or on the street. I become so isolated and withdrawn when I don't have that high in me.

My friend who's been poppin for about as long went from taking 2 to 5 to 10 and on average is taking 20-30.. if not 60 a day!!! I thought I was doing bad at 10 a day!!!

I'm so ready to quit and get this **** out of my system. I mean, seriously.. I was doing so well with my life before I starting taking these every day... I was being active, doing all this activism, I had two girlfriends... now all i can do is stay home and be a bum, i dont have the motivation for ****. I tell you these little pills they'll suck your soul out, no ****. Everytime I tell myself I'm gonna quit, I start and don't ever quit... Every day is the day I'm gonna go cold turkey. Ahhhhh ****. Seriously, I could be sitting there doing some work and only taken 4 and come night fall, i lie to myself that i'll pop 10 today.. and today only and tomorrow i'll taper down to 3... It's like i reward my tapering by allowing myself to take an assload of pills.

I took all of my pills to work and stashed... It's so DRAINING to get up in the morning, but it forces me out of the house to get my dose for the day... it's a neat trick and it seems to be working for me, since I don't have anyone that I can give my pills to to help me withdraw... Why is there a need inside of me to be high and why do opiates make me feel like superman? It's like everything in the past two years that I've accomplished i did while I was high... and at the same time, everything that I accomplished and came crashing down was because I was high. In all honestly, if these weren't addicting, I would be taking hundreds a day... I love them so much. In all honesty, I don't want to quit taking them, but I have to and I will.

I can do it.

I quit smoking a pack a day for 10 years cold turkey. I quit drinking a four year binge cold turkey.... why is this so hard?

Everytime I feel like popping ten in my mouth, i think about all the people here that are 2 or 5 or 10 days sober and feeling amazing and I want to feel like that!!!!

I'm going to do it... Tomorrow... I'm only gonna take four... 3 when I wake up... and 1 at night to sleep....

For all of those that are trying to quit and want to quit.... I'm on a mission to do it and fully committed to my taper. I will NOT **** up and take 10. We can do it and even though we're strangers, we can use each other as crutches to get past this!!!!

[troubleinohio]

googZ- you asked the million dollar question yourself...you said "Why is there a need inside of me to be high "?
That question is intregal to your recovery...you have to figure out what is lacking in your life, in your soul! We all have our problems...we all have had bad things happen to us in our lives...some of us used in order to numb emotional pain...some used to fill the void of loneliness, or to dull the blow of abuse. The list goes on and on. You have to dig deep and figure out what your reason is too, and work on that. If you dont get to the root of the problem, youre not likely to succeed in quitting. You have to get serious about this, and want this so much, buddy.   As for the depression, have you considered going to a doctor and getting on an antidepressant, at least short term to help you through the first few months of quitting? Some of us needed to do so. If thats not a viable option for you then perhaps at least check out the THomas Recipe...maybe some of those supplements/vita's will help you with those symptoms. Keep reading and posting here, it will help a lot.

[prayformetoo]

Hey Man.Your story sound just like mine. I'm a day 7 going C/T from a 2 year binge on Vics. This is going to be tough but If I can do it you can Too. You also have to check into some kind of aftercare. Keep up the fight. God Bless
Steve

[googzy]

@pray... That's awesome man, I'm do glad... What were the hardest days? ****, I wish I could cold T... It's so hard though, my taper feels like I'm withdrawing anyways so it's kinda like avoiding the innevitable... But at least it's a small crutch to lean on... And I'm a have to jump ship soon... Today I'll take Four max, tomorrow two then one... I just took three right now, the least I've ever taken in a long time... And hopefully I can fight the urge to take a mouthful of em tonight. Hahaha! Yesterday I took a total of five... I hadn't taken that low an amount in a long time and I'm actually quite impressed and proud of myself!!! I'm really trying to ignore the fact that I'm WDing and Yesterday I forced myself so hard to get outta the house...


@trouble, thanks for the advice... I've always felt diet to be importAnt during withdrawals and I'm on Thomas and amino... Also tryin hard to exercise and keep active... I wish I wish I didn't want to get high... But I love it so much and I'm gonna miss it, haha! Opiates have to be respected and used with a lot of care cuz before u know it... Ur zapped!! It's funny, I've always felt the need to be altered by something since I discovered alcohol... Then it was cigarettes... Weed... Now opiates... I don't wanna find something to replace opiates with. I should find an anti depressant to help during this time and I'm gonna look for something natural. I was on zoloft once and I remember going thru really bad wds when I ran out...

[desperatetostop]

You've said a mouthful googzy! hang in there....we're all in this together!

[hooked4life]

Keep ur head up n try the Thomas recipe. It works for me. I'm on day 5 right now n Feeling much better today then any other day so far. I was snorting and shooting 7-10 80 mg oxy's a day. Also I would shoot dope too. You should maybe look onto suboxone. I take it for the wd and then taper off after a week or so until I feel better. Obv I've attempted to get clean mAny times n know what works 4 me. Posting to this site everytime I think of getting high really helps due to all the support from everyone. It's the only thing giving me light at the end of the tunnel.

[googzy]

I forced myself out to exercise, jogged for about a mile and took a shower... the urge to take is sooo strong but so far today, i've stuck to my scheduled 4 pills.... I sooo want to take a bunch but i wont... i hope i won't ;) haha!

BTW I took a few SOMAs to help with the muscle pains and to help sleep... feeling a little buzzed off of em too, but i don't like this feeling.