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RE-POST OF DBIRD'S REQUEST FOR HELP

We are SO sorry to have to remove all the wonderful comments you gave to Dbird, but sadly we had to delete JOEY30005's offer to sell drugs, which required that we remove all comments.  We are also tracking "Joey" and will report him to the appropriate authorities when we find him.  Thanks to all of you who are so wonderfully supportive & protective of the forum. If anyone sees ANY inappropriate postings, please let us know ASAP.  Email: staff@medhelp.

MED HELP INTERNATIONAL
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Posted By: dbird on Monday, August 13, 2001

HI EVERYONE, IM A 25 YEAR OLD GUY WHO IS SLOWLY LETTING PAINKILLERS TAKE OVER MY LIFE.ITS TO THE POINT WERE I CAN'T WORK ,SOCIALIZE, OR DO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING WITHOUT BEING HIGH. THE CRAZY THING IS IM NOT HIGH, IM NORMAL. [LET ME EXPLAIN]I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A VERY EMOTIONAL AND DEPRESSED PERSON, AND MY JUNIOR YEAR AT COLLEGE PUT ME OVER THE EDGE. I WENT FROM PAXIL TO PROZAC TO CELEXA. THESE MEDS NEVER REALLY HELPED.ONE DAY AT WORK A CO-WORKER GAVE ME A FEW ULTRAM.I FELT REALLY RELAXED AND NORMAL. NOW 2 YEARS LATER IM TAKING 10 VICODEN ES ADAY. I AM NEVER DEPRESSED AND FEEL NORMAL.I HATE THE DEEP DOWN SHAME I FEEL FOR DOING THIS.I THINK IT WOULD BE EASIER TO KILL MYSELF THAN RID MYSELF OF THIS ADDICTION. THE REASON BEING NOT THE PHYSICAL WITHDRAWL BUT THE MENTAL.I AM IN A SITUATION WERE I CAN NOT AND WILL NOT GO THROUGH AN IN PATIENT DETOX PROGRAM. I AM IN THE PROCESS OFF TAPPERING DOWN, BUT ALWAYS END UP FAILING.IF I CANT GET CLEAN , THIS IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE.
SO SCARED-NEED ADVICE,

MICHAEL
52 Responses
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GJ
More prayers then you know coming from this neck of the woods Jen! It's just wonderful to hear that you at least got a small breath of fresh air today, a tiny glimpse of light! You sure deserve it! Here's hopin' that there will be much more to come ;o)

-Gabe
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Hello.  Glad you are back. Please e-mail me about your adventure....vacation....love Susan
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Did some talking with my husband today, about a lot of things.
Today was a better day!
We talked about our relationship, and about what happened, and what we will both do to improve our relationship with eachother.
Also, we talked about what he needs to do for himself, and things that he can do for himself to make it easier.  He's insisting that a couple of beers a day won't hurt him, and that he is just too miserable without it... (his decision, and he'll have to live with his choices).  He plans to continue meetings, and is looking forward to the challenges of his new job, although nervous about functioning without pain meds for his aches and pains.  Trying aspirin, and seems to take alittle of the edge off.
I talked to him, honesty, about my own battle with pain pills.  He recited sayings from what he learned in rehab, trying to help me with what i need to do for me, and how the pills will only make things get more difficult as time goes by (he's always been ahead, more advanced in his addiction -- i had a 1 1/2 year break with pregnancy and nursing), so he knows, from his own experience, how quickly it progressing, and how it takes more and more of one's life away with each passing day.  I felt a sense of comfort from his words coming from 'his' mouth, for myself and for him.  It's like he trying to help me and himself at the same time, so there's a little more hope in my heart for both us of tonight.
My kiddies were very good today, all three of them, imagine that!!!  I thank god every day for them, and they really are wonderful kids, and deserve to have a healthy mommy and daddy to take care of them... they are innocent through this whole mess, and deserve much much better, AND THEY'RE GOING TO GET IT!!!!
I really do what to get my life back, and to feel like 'me' again... that is the hardest part, i think i know what i'm missing, because i remember, and it's scarey, because i know, under the influence, i'm only seeing the tip of the iceburg!
Prayers needed, and they are felt, every second of my day... from all that care and i thank you!  My friends keep me going some days, you all and so many others in my life are very special, and the caring doesn't go unseen!  :)
Lv Jenny
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Susan,
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement.  I know you're right.  Today was a better day.
Thank god they found your melanoma early-on, praying for a speedy recovery for you.

Cindi,
Thank you for your insight about kiddies, they were much better today, and i know they really love me very very much, it was just a 'bad day' all around.  btw, i hate that 'talk to the hand stuff, nicole used to pull that a year or two ago... grrrr!
I'm praying for you, and i hope you only get positive news on the 10th!!!  It's not your time to go yet, you have too many things left to do... let's just pray it's something very minor!!!
Also, i agree with everyone, you hardly look anywhere near 41, you go girl!!!

GJ,
Wow, what a life you're had, i hope you have found peace in your life now that you are grown and on your own... No one should have to live like that as a child, my heart breaks for the pain you must still have so deeply inside!!  May happiness follow you for the remainder of your life, you've suffered enough for two lifetimes!  Thank you for caring!

Wizard,
Hope you had a nice trip!  Thank you for your words.
Things are better today, sorta kinda, but's that's a whole other story...  Things are going to turn around, they must!!!

Love to you all, Jenny
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Hi ladies, thank you both for the e-mails you sent. I missed you all while I was gone but never quit praying for you. Jenny, girl I have been trying to catch up here on whats been happening and the one thing that I did read that I want to second the motion on is NOW YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! The time is at hand and you have to think about #1. Not just for you but for the kids too. Remember to reach for that Light! I'll write more when I get settled in here.
Susan, God bless you lady! You ARE the calvary coming to save the settlers for sure! I am in awe of the amount of caring you do. You are truly one of the "angels" Take care girl. I'll be atcha later too.
Power & Magick 2 U,
Peace & Light 2 U 2,
Wiz  
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Avatar universal
41 ?????????? Girl, your still a young pup!!!!!! LOL and I have seen the pics too! LOL Thanks for mail, by the way, if your really 41, you gotta quit kicking punks butts on the street. Them knuckles won't heal up as quick as they used too! ROFLMAO...
Dorothy, I'll be sending you some rainbows shortly. atcha later Luv.
Power & Magick 2 U,
Peace & Light on U 2,
Wiz
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