Reaching for help

Okay I have been here on med help for a long time...I have helped many people here in many ways.. Anyway I want to come clean and see if I can get the support from some of you guys and girls without being judged..

About a year ago I was taking Lorazapam 2 mg at bed time to help me sleep.. Well I was going through alot so I got on Celexa 20mgs a day.... Well one day my day turned dark and I started popping the pills in my mouth Lorazapams.. I was taking them one at a time.. I sent my wife a long email to her at work and explained how sorry I was and How I know her and the kids needed me but this dark time I am in is to strong and it has pulled me in etc... I am sure lots of you here understand...Anyway I was in a daze from the pills I remember waking up at the hospital thin king I was in another life it was weird..My kids saved me from going all the way I just kept looking at pictures and thats why I decided not to take 30 plus pills at once...
Well I went into the hospital for 7 days and they got my meds right and they put me on Ambien.. This is where my addiction has started I catch myself taking 2 or 3 pills at night it started with 1 but the craving for more also started after about 3 months..Its like the same effects are not there now even if I just take 1.. I am trying to cope with this and it is hard if I dont take them I cant sleep or I feel all messed up..
Any support here would be great I know I have to tamper off them but how do you beat the cravings ort desires that the mind puts you in????

Sorry for this long post that may not make any since.. Thanks Alien

[GA Guy]

I know very well how addicting Ambien can be to us addicts. I knew I was having problems with it when I was taking them during the day just to get the buzz from them. It's truly scary how often and quickly physicians prescribe this medication. And, they keep people on it for months and years at a time. As you can tell, the addiction to these meds are very real, and the tolerance will just get worse. First, you need to find a non addicting way to get some sleep. If you're not sleeping, the Ambien will continue to talk to you. Trazodone is often used as a sleep aid in addicts. It's an old school antidepressant with sedative properties, so make sure that your doctor knows about all meds (especially the antidepressants) if you consult with him about it. Melatonin worked well for me, too. If you just want off the Ambien, then ween down. abrupt CT off of Ambien can be dangerous. It acts just like benzos to our brains, so be careful. Get some aftercare as well. Talking to other addicts can get your brain to quiet down and get you through cravings.

[dominosarah]

Hi alien, welcome to our forum.  Yes these pills have to be tapered off slowly.  Does your doctor know you are taking them like this?  That is always a good place to start in being honest with them and they will be able to monitor you on your taper plan.  As for the mental aspect of this, this is the tough one.  It takes a ton of strength and determination to get thru this.  If you have made up your mind that you are done and ready to get off them you will do whatever it takes.  Positive thinking is a must.  Its mind over matter my friend.  You may spend some sleepless nights as that is common but it is so worth getting off something that is controlling you.  You be in control, not those pills.  Are you getting any type of counseling?  If your not i highly recommend that.  There is a reason why we numb ourselves up and i think given the past circumstances you are still carrying some demons.  You can do this alien, i have confidence in you and i know when you put your mind to something you do it.  Keep posting here and you can always pm me too......We will get you thru this.      sara

[alienshadow]

Thanks its hard but I am stronger