Reaching out for support

Hi to all,  Just to let you get to know me and my situation.  I am a 28 yr old male.  I ruptured a disk in my back a few years back and have should have been off norco for over 2 years now,  but I'm not.  I got addicted to them and I have a hard time feeling normal( whatever that is anymore) without them.  Although I have stopped taking them several times and have even gone as for as 60 to 70 days, to get that temptation and give in.  I need so badly to stop. I have lost a great job and I will lose my fiance if I don't get my life together and start moving in a more productive manner.   I am a veteran of the US Naval Submarine service and I was an avid bodybuilder before the back injury.  I haven't lifted since then. I have not only lost my job and possibly my fiance but also my fitness that I had worked for since a freshman in highschool.

I am on day 2 of detox(should've  been day 4 but I relapsed sunday with 40 mlg). I  need any tips, hints, and helpful words I can get. You see I have come to realize, I was at great risk of this anyhow. My father has been a drug addict since he was 14 yrs old.  So I guess I'm genetically coded for it. I guess it is true what they say, " Once an addict always an addict."  

[chemmonster7]

hello, you have come  to  the right place lots of good advice and ideas on w/ds have you been reading th eposts? or is this your first time here I understand the genetic thing addiction goes deep in my family , as of yesterday 4mnths clean from methadone you will get lots of ideas and support here

[Skyfoxglitter]

Well at least you are among people who understand what you are going through.. And the worst thing you can do is beat yourself up about relapsing (it has happened to us all) the most important thing to realize is that you are human and addiction is a disease and it progresses as all other diseases only difference is that we have the power to change the course of this disease.. Stay strong and post as often as you need we are all here for each other.

[woolcof]

yes I have been reading in the forums for about a week now. I just have one question.  Does anyone have any hints on getting some sleep.  Its so frustrating.  I can deal with the body aches, since I was a bodybuilder and was very used to being sore.  I get so upset at night that I want to cry.  The hardest part of this is that I work for a home health company and I stay at any given house for a 17-24hr shift.  While the client is sleeping you have a lot of time by yourself and thats when most of my relapses have occured.  Just to come home and my fiance is gone to work, so I spend most of the time by myself.  It makes it a lot harder without any support.  This is the reason I have came hear.

[sunny8008]

Let me start by saying its a great that you have made the decision to quite. That takes a lot of courage. I know because I was there to. I have been clean for 36 days today. Best thing I could have done. Now. STOP beating yourself up. The past is the past. All you can do now is work on YOURSELF then fix things that need to be fixed. Right now you are not in the right state of mind and your body is trying to mess with your head. Don't dwell. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. We are all on this site for a reason. You make it through the next few days and you will be felling a lot better. It just takes time. Every time I get that feeling that I want pills I remember how I felt when I cold turkey quite. I tell myself all the time man you never want to go throughout that again. It was hard but, the benefits of being clean are rewording. Your doing a great job and keep posting this place and the ppls here are wonderful. Heather

[catlady59]

Can you get your hands on some xanax? This was my saving grace. This is how I made it through ready. First go to the drug store and buy b12, hylands leg cramp pills they both really helped with energy levels and the rls. When I wanted to sleep i'd take two xanax and sleep through the night. It was great. The only w/d's I have now are the leg pains. I feel wonderful, most people don't have as quick as a come back as myself (7 days) but I do feel great. My next feat is that I go to the pain management dr today at 3:30 and I know he'll hand over another rx that I really do need for the pain but don't have the control. Last time I finshed the rx in two weeks. We'll see. Good Luck

[woolcof]

Thanks all for the encouragement. I will keep running to you guys for help whenever I feel the need to go back to those evil little yellow demons.   As I am completely recovered from my accident and I would love to start bodybuilding again.  Oh how I miss the feeling of a great workout and the look you get when you push a lot more weight up than anyone expected you to.  The feeling of that high is as good if not better than when using norcos.   But since I have been using norcos I haven't even had the drive to go to the gym. I have lost more than 40lbs of muscle in the last couple of years that I worked for almost 10 years to put on. So much has been lost.  I cannot allow my self to fail this time.  My entire life dangles in front of me at this point and I need to make it to the other side of this dark tunnel I'm in.  

Once again.  Thanks to all for the encouragement and kind words. I really do need it.

[tink1517]

i have the same situation as you do, i need the pain meds, but go thru a month supply in a week. every month i tell myself "not this time" yet it always ends the same. this last dr. visit i got a 3 month supply and it lasted 28 days. so i know i have to stop. the whole reason i moved was to clean up my act, yet it seems the stress (my girls are still in FL w/ their dad) and depression from being away has made me feel SO EMPTY and those little pills, take it all away. I started my detox 2day, i'm using cymbalta, immodium and valium. I know i can do it. But do i really want to get another rx at my next appt.??? how do you control LEGIT-PAIN with out abusing them? I dont want this detox to end like the last 2 times did. I'm desperate to get my life back, but be pain free too

[rsd_al]

I hear ya bro!

Lost 50 lbs so far, and my belly is much bigger than I would like. Kinda weird that I would be losing weight, but getting wider lol.
I do understand muscle weighs more than fat though. I too would love to start back at a weight training schedule. Maybe I can, but only just a toning regiment this time. I dont think my body can do heavy anymore.

Sure wish it could though, and possibly cant even do a light weights training.

Wish ya luck on coming clean though, I know it is the roughest thing to do, but well worth it. The rewards are far greater, than what the drugs do for us.

Allen