Recovery with Methadone

[Nee123]

This is more of an introduction, than a question. My name is Amy, and I just joined this group. I grew up in Mass, and moved to Maine Three years ago. My husband and I, were heroin addicts for many years, and he was actually my dealer!. We both had long histories of alcohol,and pill abuse, before we started on Dope, and cravings for all other substances stopped immediately when we stated doing Heroin. We had been in and out of detoxes, of course in the eighties there were still 30 and 60 day programs. We never lasted more than three days.  I never came up against a more compelling drug than heroin We began on Methadone maintenance, in 1994, and for the past almost 14 years it has served us well Of course, it took time, as methadone simply gives one a choice to get high or not. We continued to chip, 3 or 4 times a year, but kept our dose high enough, so that we had a handle on our cravings, and it would block any dope we did, which made it a much less tempting proposition. For two years, we healed, and began to have a few things. We fed a flock of semi wild ducks, that lived in a park on the river, near our home. We fed those ducks every day for over five years, and it helped us to relearn commitment, responsibility and empathy. I can't stress enough, that keeping busy is what saved us. Those ducks took up all that dangerous idle time we had, and I encourage any newly sober person to involve themselves with animals, as they are always there for you, unconditionally.In 1996, Social security, which we were on, sent out letters, stating that they were no longer going to provide assistance, for anyone who was on it for addiction. a lot of people were really freaked out, but soon, the word got around, that they were just shaking things up to get rid of freeloaders, and that if you reapplied to would likely get back on it. We made the decision, to go back to work, which was very scary. I had been an LPN for many years, but had quit, when I first started heroin, to preserve my good record. We had not worked in years! We were very fortunate, in the sense that we had a boss (this was a Market Basket food store)  who we could be honest with, treated us with respect and integrity, and rewarded us for the hard work we did. We stayed there for 8 years! Then we moved here to start a hand crafted,pyrographic gift shop.  I believe that Methadone is a wonderful program for those who are mentally, spiritually, and physically bankrupt, and have had enough. But remember, it is still only a tool. that has to be used to be effective. WE ALL NEED THINGS THAT EMPOWER US!   Do things that will foster a sense of pride and integrity, and self respect. i have often heard people say, that when they used, they despised themselves, and could not bear, to look at themselves in the mirror. I could not relate to that. I always felt like I was an OK person  BUT... When I looked at my behavior It was crystal clear, that these were not the behaviors of a person that liked themselves!  So, little by little, we relearned how do live life on lifes terms.  Try to always take the high road. I would be very happy to share with any member of the group, and answer any questions that I can.   Thank you, good to be here!                                                  Amy

[Junkie]

I sent you some tips on the craving part. When will it ease? Well that depends on what he does to improve his chances of staying sober. Like rehab, therapist, NA, etc. It could take days, a few weeks, month, years, who knows. But every new day that he is sober, he will slowly feel normal again.

If it's one thing I learned from my NA meetings was nothing is easy, and this addiction will stay with you forever, but it is up to you to control the monster, and maybe, even kill it.

Good luck girl. you both will make it. : )

Peace

[love_hope]

hi i just read your story, and i feel really reasured by what i read my partner has been on methadone for 7wks now and i truly see the good that it dos i have a question though he still gets terrible craving everyday and i give him an extra 30 mls on top off the 70mls he is given by his clinic when is it that the craving start to ease any advice and id be grateful thanks

[Junkie]

Hi Amy. You are not alone. I am also a kindred spirit who was once seduced by that amber hell. Prior to Heroin, I was doing coke, smack, meth, pills, alcohol binging....but when I tried Heroin for the first time, I knew that was it. Anything I had ever tried before was nothing compared. It was like having candy or chocolate for the first time in your life, and I fell in love.

Methadone was the only way I could stop. I had tried going cold turkey, taking pills for distraction, etc. But it never worked. I thank whoever is up in the clouds that I was able to find the Methadone program. It saved my life.

I never hated myself for what I was doing, I just hated what I had become. What seemed like a perfectly natural thing to do was actually the opposite. I used to make up these elaborate excuses in my head that I was only doing Heroin and not 10 other drugs all at once, so really, I wasn't that bad off.

Riiiiiiiiight.

I can truly say, even though I am addicted to opiates, that I will never do it again. It has been 7 years, and I have no desire to ever touch that killer again. It gives me nightmares just thinking about it.

And the scary thing, most of all, was I held down a good job, finished college, and started a business, all while on Heroin. On the outside everything was great, but inside, I was in Hell.

I urge anyone who is addicted to Heroin to look into Methadone programs. It will save your life. I am tapering down my addiction to pills now, and I have the strong desire, and will to quit.

Thanks for your story. It is always nice to know that there are others in the club who have survived to tell their tale. It is good therapy for those who are wanting to quit. There IS light at the end of the tunnel.

Peace  : )