Recovery without aftercare

[corey411]

Hello everyone. Today is day 17 for me and it  was kindof a rough day. Did not want to use but was a bit more down than the passed several days. I expect this and know that I will have many down days and even more days when I crave and want to use again.  I came home from work and read some of the posts and alot was being said about NA and addiction specialists Don't get me wrong, I think  that this is the best advise and best chance for recovery. Myself and many people I've talked with are really in the closet with our addictions..noone knows. The company I work for owns my medical insurance. I really feel that I will be able to make it with the knowledge that Ive gained through previous relapses and info on addiction and this forum. I might be wrong but I got to try. Addicts in rehab , NA and seeing addiction specialists relapse many times also. I just felt kinda discouraged reading that a person cannot recover without more aftercare than this forum...Has anyone else been successful with just the forum?

[spacecadette]

EXACTLY. I believe, (AND THIS IS ONLY AN OPINION)  education is what you get if you read the fine print.  EXPERIENCE is what you get if you don't.  Science cannot resolve these conflicts, but it can help us to more accurately understand the tricks of the trade in treating this disease to the fullest potential.  

[FLaddict]

It comes down to this, Your thinking and actions is what got you here. Taking the suggestions of experts or people that have gone down this road before you is doing another way than your way. Your way was to take drugs.

Would you treat cancer on your own? If you had diabetes would you say "screw it" I don't need insulin or doctors? More than likely not.
This is a disease of the brain. Our brains tell us to do things. I know my brain after a long hard day tells me a pill will make it go away, a pills will help me sleep better, a pill will make me get through my day easier. My brain lies to me. I need other people to keep my thinking in check. The more I get involved in treating my disease the more those "voices" go away. There are days that go by that I never, not once think about taking a pill now. Because I have done the work that it takes to quiet my disease. That is what aftercare is for.

Don't get me wrong this forum is great. It got me 10 months off of pills. This forum is great for the people that are newly clean, still trying to get there, or thinking about quitting. People who strive for long term clean time do not post in a forum for the rest of their lives. They grow. Their lives start to change. The see someone to work through their issues so they have a better chance at staying clean. They surround themselves with people in their real lives that are about the same thing. Its about making this happen in your life and walking the walk, not just talking the talk. Recovery is a process and you have to be involved in that process.

[sterling_silver]

Thanks for the great post. It is right on the money. I have dabbled in alcohol and drugs for half my life. I never got in trouble. I never hit rock bottom. I always quit my way. I always thought I kept things under control. I have been clean for over a year before. I went over two years before. I always go back or find something else. This time, I threw in the towel.
I give up. I can't do it myself. I can't do it with just my loved ones help. I need help from people like you and all the others that came before me. I feel much better, and much stronger this time around. Thanks for taking the time to post.

At my meeting next week, if the group says eating my cats turds will help me not relapse,I will go home, grab one and melt some cheddar cheese on it in the microwave.

[corey411]

Sorry that my post got so touchy and for my response to a member who I didn't agree with. I posted the question and should not have reacted so to others opinions. It did hit a nerve and was more than that I disagree but should not have reacted in such a negative manner.

Spececadette, I'm truely sorry if I hurt your feelings. I hope that you or noone else ever takes my opinion so seriously as to want to leave this forum. I truly believe what they say opinions are like...mine is no more important than anyone elses.

You may not have intended your response to come across the way it did to me and a few others. Earlier posts that I read by you seemed so lacking in hope. Only my opinion and as feedback. My concern is that someone who is young or new to recovery may feel so hopeless about recovery if they hear that it's a permenantly damaging neurological disease like Parkinson's that they will never recover from ,may scare them into giving up before they even try. Every relapse is a potential death...OD or suicide and my reaction is partly after trauma from my sons addiction. He has been clean from heroin 3 yrs with alot of aftercare needed. The stats then for recovery from heroin were 7-10 % with aftercare. If I pointed this out to him while he is doing well with recovery it wouldn't benefit him. I won't relapse over someone having a different opinion than me, but deep inside all of us there is that fear...with or without rehab, addiction specialists or whatever. We are addicts and can relapse after 5-10 years with or wo aftercare. That is what I found discouraging. I logged on for encouragement and read into your previous posts NO HOPE and that was the last thing I needed in the moment. I'm sorry for taking it personally and hope you will stay on the forum. Corey

[spacecadette]

:)

[spacecadette]

Thanks.  My main point was to underline that recovery without after care (statistically has shown) that 90% of people who do not receive it, fail to FULLY recover.  There are a lot of key words which i believe may have been overlooked in my posts.  FULLY meaning they never use again.....Anyhow, I appreciate everyone's support and appreciation.  I honestly have never been so close to leaving the forum.  Although I have received much help from most of you, I felt pretty bad knowing that my posts are "discouraging people" and still can't help but wonder if maybe it's better for them that i stop.  Either way I wish nothing but the best, even to you corey411,  the first step towards knoweledge is to know that we are ignorant. I guess it'll always be ......... if we don't read the newspaper we are 'uninformed',  if we do read the newspaper we are 'misinformed.'......oh well.  

[toxictome]

GREAT  POST!!  I agree 100% and  I couldn't have said it any better!!

IT 'WORKS' IF YOU 'WORK IT" !!

[missm2]

I personally am using this forum as my aftercare, most of the meetings I have attended in my area in the past, were filled with a bunch of addicts(still using and no desire to quit) only there because its court or job ordered.-Not saying all of them is like this- just my experience. And I agree with r2r about, what works for one doesn't work for all.Congrats on day 17!!!!!!!  : )  

[hopsing94]

Interesting post. I had to comment. I do believe aftercare is important. If this forum helps you then great it is a form of aftercare. However I don't think most of us can get to the core issues of why we use from this forum. I in the past have quit successfully using cocaine,marijuana and a few other habits without any aftercare. My addiction to pain pills however has been different. It has been much harder and i thought i could do it without help. So to each his own but the statistics show that without a form of aftercare the chance for relapse is much higher. Nobody is saying if you don't seek aftercare you will relapse but the chances are higher. Please we are here to help each other.

[road2recovery]

I just wanted u to know that i liked the way u gave two different opinions...I didn't find it boring or cocky...ONLY my opinon...
Everyone is different...If they can do this without aftercare then GREAT...If they can't and get after care then GREAT!!!
For me i have failed with no aftercare....I will continue to do what works for me, as everyone else has to do what works for them..
It doesn't mean one is right or one is wrong...As long as you are clean in the end!!

Please stay with us, not everyone will always agree, and that is ok...
r2r

[feelingcrazierbytheday]

Also, no where in space's post does it say that this forum is not a form of aftercare.  If you read up top,
       "(It's not the type of meeting, or support group, that is important.)"
  And also, there are thousands of places who offer care free of charge with the help of the government. Space has never been to aftercare, and considers this as her form of it.  Speaking on behalf of her since she no longer here to defend herself.  

[sadinmichigan]

I am not against aftercare or therapists but in my honest and own opinion..I have had more help here with alot of things..not just addiction then i ever did giving a person $ to listen to me talk .  i think it's because there are so many wonderful and caring people here that KNOW where we are comming from..this forum is my after care..And Congrats to you on day 17..!!!

[feelingcrazierbytheday]

Bravo! Bravo! and Bravo!
  Very well worded.  I must have missed this post somehow.  I hope you come back hun.  

[spacecadette]

I absolutely in no way intended to do anything other than help people on here.  I now sincerely regret that I even bothered in trying to do so with you.  And I am an addict.  And your offense does not offend me.  Why did you feel discouraged? Becuase I am telling it like it is?  And as my example, I have spoken to MANY people on here who were discouraged by meetings becuase the type of people that they saw there.  All based on experience.  And I'm not a psych major.  And if i wanted to sit here and simply nod my head and agree with everyone, I wouldn't be speaking my mind, experience, or opinions.  To me knowledge is power and I have learned  A LOT from everyone on here, (with the exception of you of course) and continue to believe that a successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at them.   So I thank you in your support on my foundation....and just know that it is quite often that great ideas suffer violent opposition from that of mediocre minds....I will no longer post as to not disturb anyone.  All the best.

[corey411]

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You....This was the person posting all day and is what prompted my post. I signed on for support bc I was feeling the need and just saw post after post by this person. Instead of support I felt discouraged.  I've been to many NA meeting with my son and first off would like to say none of the people were unattractive. None of them acted like this either.

I'm a therapist and fully understand neurological pathways. They can become effected by long term drug abuse but NA or a psychiatrist can't rebuild them...Time will and it does take a long time..however it's not like a stroke where your brain compensates and needs to build new ones. Time will heal them and this forum is aftercare as well as educating yourself on addiction.  I'm gonna go out on a limb spacecaddette and guess that your not an addict but a psych major who likes to hear your self talk. All the best to you as well.

[spacecadette]

Wow....I really don't know how to respond to that.  May I ask why I come off that way?  

[freedomplz]

I'm sorry but I find your posts a little boring and estremely cocky.   You don't have to have aftercare to be drug free.  I've been drug free for 4 months and have had no after care.  

[spacecadette]

Consider this example:

Two new people attend a support meeting. (It's not the type of meeting, or support group, that is important.) The first person thinks to himself: "I don't want to be here. These people are unattractive. The thought of having to associate with them forever disgusts me." He is now depending upon the validity of his own internal thought process. He drives away, and continues to try to stay clean on his own, and to continue to depend on the validity of his own thought process. Then he has sorrowful trouble in his relationships, which break his heart. He fails to succeed as he thinks he ought to, which breaks his heart. Something bad happens, or something good happens, (it doesn't matter), and he thinks to himself: "I can't deal with sobriety right now!"  (This is the person depending upon the validity of his own thought process.) His addictive impulse is triggered. In a matter of time the strong cravings (neurological impulses) overwhelm him and he begins to use again.

Now, consider the second person who attends the support meeting. He also thinks to himself: "I don't want to be here. These people are unattractive. The thought of having to associate with them forever disgusts me."  But, this person says OUT LOUD to the group: "I don't want to be here! You people seem unattractive! The thought of having to associate with you disgusts me!"  And the whole group, with one voice says to him in reply: "That's how you are supposed to feel! That's OK! You should feel that way! You're new! This is new! We are unattractive! The thought of associating with us should disgust you!  It's OK to feel that way.  But, from now on you must become willing to take directions! You must become willing to listen to us! You can NOT be in control of your own addiction anymore! You must let go absolutely, and no longer depend upon your own devices, or you will never recover from your addiction!"  THIS PERSON ACCEPTS WHAT THEY SAY!  He is willing to shift his internal dependency away from relying on himself for recovery. This begins to re-wire his neurology.  His nervous system learns new responses to old stimuli. Then: he too has trouble in his relationships, which break his heart. He fails to succeed as he thinks he ought to, and this breaks his heart. He also thinks to himself: "I can't deal with sobriety right now." BUT HE IS UNDER ORDERS! His habits kick in! He calls for support! The support system says with one voice: feeling bad IS ok ... but using is NOT OK! You can't do that. You will not do that! You would be better to drive up right now to the local mental institution and check yourself in .... because what you are thinking about doing right now is sheer insanity! Because he has now shifted his dependency, and he no longer relies upon the validity of his own thought process, he obeys! He takes directions! The re-wiring of the dependency shift has taken hold: and he stays clean! He has established new neurological pathways and is able to stand fast through the critical moments. He has has effected the necessary dependency shift! His formerly disordered neurological system has become re-wired. When he is triggered, he automatically goes to the support system, even if it IS the local mental hospital, but he stays clean. Through a total dependency shift, he is soon permanently relieved of the obsession to use the chemicals. He recovers!
Any unwillingness to completely accept the directives of a support program ( be it any therapist, psych, group, etc.)  is just a continuation of the addictive disorder.  All the best

[ILoveLukey]

Personally, my family had a suspicion as most do. Alot of  us think they don't know but they do. It was actually a relief to them when i told them.  It turned out to actually be a benefit to them because they were so happy that I was getting help and are so very relieved.  I did not want to involve them for fear of upsetting them but as it turned out, it was the best thing I could have done by telling them I was getting help. It took alot of worry and stress off of them. I couldn't be happier that I told them because I see how happy they are now. And having that support from them has made my recovery efforts all the more sucessful.  Just my experience.

[corey411]

Thanks guys, I know that I can do with the support I get here. The difference for me is that for the first time in over 6 years I can say I'm addicted to another human being through this forum and know people will understand and not judge me. It really makes a big difference.

The reason that I won't tell my family is mostly because I have had many crisis in my life and have always had my family to support me. I guess I have bad Karma and everytime something goes wrong in my life I know they suffer as well. I have gotten through many tough times and am pretty much looked at as the strong one in my family despite all my life situations. My family and some friends would support me. Even understand how I could get into this mess. I won't dissapoint them and have them worry about me. I also need my kids and grandkids to know that I am strong and they can always count on me to be there for them. If I can get out of this without involving them I will do whatever it takes.  If I ever feel that they would benefit from knowing I will tell them.

[avisg]

honestly staying clean without any aftercare is very very hard , The % of people that remain clean without it very very low .You really need something
NA ,therapy , and addiction specialist ,a pastor something ,if you don't get any thing its called white knuckling it .

[ILoveLukey]

Why can you not let anyone know?I hid my addiction from family and friends for several years. Just in February I started going to an addiction  phychologist and was put on Suboxone. I finally decided to tell my family about this. They knew that I had been in pain for years. I can't even begin to tell you how supportive they have been since I opened up. They understand that I didn't just wake up one day and think "what to do today, think I will try to get addicted to pain pills".  They understand how it happened. My own mother even offered to give me money to help out with my sub doctor appointments. They are all just so proud of me for admitting it and getting help. It seems as though alot of people keep hiding it not realizing that their family would be as understanding and supportive as mine is.

[worried878]

I felt the same way and was very surprised that i did not know anyone in the NA group...later i began AA and have run into people I have known but it wasnt a big deal for some reason...but i feel the forum is very important for my aftercare...more so than my AA group

[SableZen]

I'm actually having a rough day myself. My ex-fiance contacted me about an hour ago by a text message. Hadn't heard anything from her since October when she left. I haven't even responded to the message - just can't deal with it at all. It's taken me this long to get even a little better from that ordeal. Just so confusing and so many emotions. When the craving got real bad I got in the car and just started driving - blaring the music and singing (more like yelling for me lol) along with the music.

So I'm sitting here now alone, just reading the forums when I came upon your post. It gives me inspiration to just deal with everything like you are doing. All I can say to answer your question is this forum has been a Godsend. I can't let anyone know either - so aftercare is pretty much out for me too. But we've both made a decision to stop hiding behind a drug, both gotten through the hardest part, and I think we'll both be fine as long as we keep our resolve up.