Relapse

Back to taking 10-12 norco a day. Went to the dr a few weeks ago in horrible pain and found out i had a torn a.c.l. and my shoulder was torn again and was told that even if i have surgery to repair them, the pain will most likely not subside. Hurt so bad i couldnt deal with it and thought i could just take a couple when i needed them for pain. What a joke. How do i weigh taking enough norco to handle the pain after beimg clean for 3 months? Ive beaten cancer, and been through 8 surgeries in 2 years. At what point do you say enough is enough and take the medicine to stay somewhat sane from the pain without getting so addicted i go back to fentanyl, ms-contin, and dilauded? Im lost and i dont know how to find myself again.

[dominosarah]

Sorry to hear you are back using again.  Once we cross that line of abusing the meds we dont go back to controlled using.  Have you thought about going to an addiction specialist?

[Scottb3]

No. Im the type of person that just assume be left alone(probably more dangerous). I just dont know when to say enough is enough. Im on my feet all day and as you can imagine that makes a person sore enough, not to mention a torn a.c.l. I just cant seem to walk that fine line of pain control and addiction.

[dominosarah]

None of us can walk that line anymore and we cant do it alone.  You have it in you to work thru this and figure something out here.  Dont give up.......sara

[Scottb3]

I just dont know how to deal with any of it anymore. After everything ive been through you would thank i would be grateful to even be alive but when i cant even get out of bed because of the pain from all of the surgeries and torn knee and shoulder all i know how to feel is anger and depresion at everone and everything. I am tired of putting this crap in my body to have to get through the day.

[sweetieneedshelp2]

Think about what is best for you. If someone else was making all your decsions for you, someone who new EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING, like God, what would they tell you to do. Sometimes we know, somewhere deep down, what the right thing is, but our bodies and minds can be telling us the opposite. Try to do what is best for you IN THE LONG RUN.
I hope you have a good day!
Best wishes :-)

[Htownnofrown]

There's a part of the AA book that says something to this affect:

We are like men who have lost their legs, we never get them back.

AND

It is the great obsession of Alcoholics/Addicts to drink/use like normal people, and many of us chase this illusion straight through the gates of insanity and death.

I'm sure after dealing with as much medical treatments/surguries as you have, you've probably looked into alternative pain treatments. Maybe something besides pills can work for you!

You should talk to an addictionologist, they are doctors who can give you treament methods that don't include narcotics. Regular MD's can be very clueless about the fact that even though we want to control our using, we rarely can. Went in to my old Dr's office to get liver tests done because I was abusing opiates, told her this very clearly. I also had a cough, so she prescribed me a cough medicine containing opiates. Sometimes they just don't understand addiction.

Good luck, hope everything works out for you!

[salsinator]

HI Scott - sorry to hear about your pain and the need to medication again.  There are options available for you.  Torn ACL's are unfortunately very common injury and they an be easily fixed by a good orthopaedic surgeon.  The same goes for your shoulder.  I know that you mentioned having 8 surgeries in the last several years and I am sure that you don't want another one - but that may be your only option to treat the pain.  You may also need to consider a lifestyle change - if you have a sport or hobby that causes you injury like this, you may need to find a new one.  Feel free to message me if you like with the state you live in, I work for an orthopaedic surgery company and would be happy to recommend a couple of good surgeons for you to see.