Avatar universal
Relapse Contract
Our son is beginning rehab from Oxy.  My wife and I have also started going to Al-Anon and Co-Dependency group meetings.  They all say to establish a contract if he still wants to live in the house.  We also know that there is a strong probability that he may relapse.  So, what's the reasonable terms to put in a contract with him before being asked to leave the house?  Doesn't seem that you can put a hard number on it, can you?  Anyone else have experience or thoughts?  Would appreciate it.
Cancel
4 Answers
Page 1 of 1
Avatar universal
How old is your son and how long has he had drug problems?

If he's over 18 and has had problems for a while I'd say the contract must be that he stays clean or moves out.  I know this is rough but it seems to be the way to go.  Anything less leaves open the opportunity to slip up and still have Mom and Dad to take care of you.  

I guess the thing is to really think through the contract and make it something you will stick with.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
Thanks Danny.  

He's almost 19.  Just found out about 1 month ago and got him help immediately.  Was on Suboxine at first, but he hated that and decided he wanted to withdrawl and did in a more intensive, Dr. managed group to withdrawl.  

We're just battling with the 1-and-done issue because of the probablility of a relapse.  Don't want to support additional use and want to send a message, but also want to be realistic.  Does that make sense?

Thanks,
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Avatar universal
I really think if you are going the "tough love" route you need to be simple and clear. "Once and you are out." Addicts can only hear simple things. If there is a loop hole they will use it. It is extremely difficult to stay clean so the boundaries need to be clear. Remember you are doing this to save his life. He is also a man now and needs to accept the responsibility for his own actions.

Ask your group for lots of support. This is going to be very hard for you. Almost impossible. So prepare yourself for how you are going to handle when he uses again. And how you are going to find out. You need to believe that sobriety is an achievable goal. Think it through, all the details, imagine the confrontation and know ahead of time what each of you will say.

Is he getting support from any groups, counselors etc. That also should be part of the contract.

Good luck. It sounds like you are being wonderful parents and working hard to help your son. Remember no one can make someone clean up their act. He needs to be involved in his treatment and realize the real consequences of his addiction.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
198154 tn?1337790865
hes probably going to relapse atleast once ...its part of recovery.

Youre a great parent for supporting him.  He stands a MUCH better chance to succeed because of your support.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Comment
Post Comment
Your Answer
Avatar universal
Answer
Do you know how to answer? Tap here to leave your answer...
Answer
Answer
Post Answer
A
A
Doctor Ratings & Reviews
Comprehensive info on 720K doctors.
Complete reviews, ratings & more.
Addiction: Substance Abuse Community Resources
Top Addiction Answerers
495284 tn?1333897642
Blank
City of Dominatrix, MN
Avatar universal
Blank
phoenix, AZ
3197167 tn?1348972206
Blank
406584 tn?1399591666
Blank
7163794 tn?1457370413
Blank
New Orleans, LA
3060903 tn?1398568723
Blank
Other