Relapse Hell

[azaddict]

I hate addiction. It all started with Migraines at 13. 33 years later and here I am detoxing again. Day 2 off a 20 a day Norco habit. Last detox was off a 60 a day habit. I have no life right now. I'd be happy if I could walk my dog. This has to be the last time and I have to learn no opioids for my Migraines or anything else. If there's a God I hope he helps me and all others suffering.

azaddict

[tinabe40]

well, my husband is the same way. The only thing that eases them is pot. He's getting off of that too as I am not living with an addict. I can't be clean that way. But, good luck.

[azaddict]

Hi
I've tried all the latest and greatest meds including maxalt, zomig, imitrex, etc... I won't even get into naming the other rescue meds or preventative meds I've tried. Too many to name.

Aftercare: I've done outpatient, but what helped me in the past was AA and NA meetings. I do have a sponsor.

"Rebound headaches" can be cause by any analgesic. I once was clean for a year and continued to have migraines at the same rate. I used no narcotics during that time...

azaddict

[pops678]

i dont know if any one has mentioned this but the migraine are actually brought on by the painkillers in the end, cant remember the medical name for it. but it is quite common

[basilwancer]

Hi, I'm a migraine sufferrer too and have taken the very odd vicodin to numb it.  All this does is stop the pain for four hours and then you get wallapped even worse.  In my opinion / experience there is no pill you can take at the onset (I have even tried ergots) - the best remedy is to take toporol (or generic meterprolol) - the prevents them from even ocurring, but you must do the research as this is a regimen...for now be focused on getting off the opiates - they are a merciless wrecking ball...

[tinabe40]

Hey..as for maxalt, yes it works so well for migraines. I take it for mine. My husband who is a chronic migraine sufferer on a daily basis, not to mention his cluster headaches..he uses them everyday. They work. If you tried those, then just know..I can relate to what ur going thru. Those pills cause much more than just thinking theyre giving you pain relief, but to know when you run out or just before your last "dose" as i so politely called them..anxiety can become chronic..which tears at your mind.
I contemplated suicide so much, that I had planned out exactly how to do it to make sure i wasn't found by family or within time to save my life..yep i did, and on a daily basis. I sure am glad i didn't. Let us know whn u need help.

[dominosarah]

I hope you find yourself a good recovery program of some sort....There is so much more to addiction than just getting off the pills.

[Bubulous]

Have you looked into Maxalt.  I just got out of recovery and Maxalt was given to a lot of the guys who were having migraines due to w/ds.  It was also prescribed as long term treatment for those whos migraines didn't go away.  I don't know much about it as I have never taken it but I am still in contact with some of the guys from recovery and they seem to get a lot of relief from it.  I do know it is expensive without insurance.  Don't know if you have already tried it or if your doctor would reccomend it.

I also had suicidal "thoughts" several times when I had to w/d.  Although I didn't carry them out it was still scary.  It was scary to think my mind would even create this idea of not wanting to live any longer because I felt I couldn't live with or without opiates.  A lot of people most likely had the same thoughts but along with finding the right migraine medication and having a substantial sobriety time, there could be something you find in life which not only takes away the destructive emotions, but also replaces them with compassion and love.

Keep posting and checking in on these forums.  If you have great experience in any of the other forums it also helps to get on them and try to help others when possible.....good luck

[azaddict]

Thx for all the support :)

azaddict

[Sam20111966]

I had headaches rebound on even low dose Lortab...everyday morning and evening no more....Get your independence back you can do it......Try some advil for headaches it really helps.....

Best of luck to you hang in there pulling for you....

Sam

[carson1975]

Hello doll I feel your pain as I have been in the same place as u I was wondering if u have try ucalipes oil(sorry about spelling) it really helps rub some on your head or temples! And know this u can do this ! I hope u feel better soon good luck and god bless!

[tinabe40]

Hey I'm here for you, and it's okay to feel lousy. It's okay to know you need to stop and made a mistake. But, just keep it in ur head that taking meds won't keep those headaches gone. Do you know that Hydrocodone can give you migraines when you take at large doses? BOY, do i know it...cuz i rarely suffer migraines unless i take a lot of tabs...and percs are hydro and oxy mixed. SO, plz help yourself....take care and good luck.

[vicki595]

Your headache is probably related more to the drop in meds than anything else. Keep pushing the fluids,drink some coffee and try some otc's for the headache. You simply can't take opiates. It will only feed the headache.
You should think about what you can do differently this time to stay off the pills. Any thoughts on aftercare/recovery care?

[azaddict]

So here we go... Late this afternoon I had a full blown migraine. As usual aura, numbness in face and arms and excruciating pain in my left frontal lobe. I found a few Vikes and used them. It's now 3 am I'm in total misery and I want relief. The 3 meds barely helped as my tolerance is so high. I have no more meds and I'm tossing and turning and want to go to the ER, but I don't want to be treated like **** and I need to continue my detox.

This is when suicide runs through my head. Don't be alarmed I would never hurt myself, but pain and addiction push me to the edge.

I've tried all the latest and greatest migraine meds, but have had no luck. Please free me from the pain.

azaddict thanks to 33 years of migraines.

[tinabe40]

hey..well i am 3 days clean at this point and i do have contacts! But i am leaving them alone, the same with the pills. I gotta beat this crap. I have been on 30-50 10mg tabs a day. I am taking a prescription diahreah (idk how to spell that) med..and taking a multivitamin, and potassium pills (otc). I have the cravings more than physical wds right now. It's terribly hard not to buy something just to help right now this minute but Im not...and wont. We will do this together..all of us.

[azaddict]

I've detoxed every way imaginable. 1 time under anesthesia to get off methadone, again to get off dilaudid, morphine and norcs and more times than I can count detoxing at hospitals or treatment centers. It's crazy, but I've always given in to the pain and euphoria. This has to be the last time as I'm destroying me, my relationship, my mom and everything around me.

I'm eating lots of fruit, drinking water and sitting in the hot tub. I have no connections for narcotics, so that's a big help.

Thx for your support.

azaddict

[ImDONENoMore]

And try either bananas or a potassium supplement for those leg cramps.  The potassium helps the RLS so much so it's definitely worth a shot.  :)

[vicki595]

Thanks!  I am well!

What are you doing to help yourself here?   You need to drink A LOT, so push those fluids!
You need to eat to keep your blood sugar up. Hot baths will help the aches. Vitamins and minerals are your friends!  You can buy a product called Hylands Restful Legs at Walgreens/Walmart.  Be proactive with this and we can help you along!

[overeasy]

How is the detox going?  remember this and make sure it is your last time cuz who in there right mind would do this over and over again:)

Keep you chin up- we are here and praying for you

Overeasy-
6 hours and day 14 is in the bag.

[azaddict]

Thanks :) aching legs and cravings. I hope you're well.

Az

[vicki595]

Hi!   How are you today?  Keep posting here...

It seems your post was over looked; I'm sorry. Please stay in touch!