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199177 tn?1490498534

Relapse is it part of recovery ?

We see alot of posts where members relapse and other members say hey its ok its part of recovery is it or is it part of addiction . A very wise man said to me " Relapse starts with a thought. We're not responsible for that first thought, but we are for that first action.  "it's a part of recovery". NO IT'S NOT. It's a part of ADDICTION.If you are in your recovery program and you are really working it you don't have to continually relapse .You have to get yourself into a good program and be accountable for yourself and your actions with that can come long term sobriety .So where we can be supportive to all of our members  should we be continually telling them its normal to relapse or should we be giving them the tools to get and stay in recovery?
26 Responses
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199177 tn?1490498534
i see a therapist
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199177 tn?1490498534
the most important thing is you get recovery care you get whether it meetings ,a therapist a pastor whatever works for u
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725350 tn?1318680468
***Meant to say RECOVERY based discussion.
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725350 tn?1318680468
First off, I strongly feel like if I do the 5 things that will keep me in recovery every day, (for those of you in AA/NA you know what these are), I will stay sober.

If I stopped doing those things, it would lead me to old addict behaviors such as lying, procrastination, etc. Once I started embracing those old addict behaviors, I would inevitably have to deal with the consequences of my behavior, and at that point I would have the choice to either get back into working a program, OR, use drugs to change the way I felt. If I didn't call my sponsor or get to a meeting at that point, I could be in trouble.

The point of all that is simply this: If I just do what I'm supposed to do in recovery, I wont have to worry about a situation where I might want to use. I never have cravings out of the blue or for no reason anymore since I'm a week away from a year clean. So, for me, relapse cannot be part of recovery, it is actually a part of a lack of recovery, or like the others have said, part of addiction.

To Jimmy:
I went to treatment on May 5th, 2009, my first attempt at getting into recovery, and have not relapsed at all. Haven't even come close thanks to my support groups in AA and NA. It can be done. It's not easy, but it is simple.

It's so nice to see some realistic, program based discussion on here! Sometimes I feel like we miss out on a lot of that in this forum, and it's the most important part of the whole thing. Way to go guys!
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495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
I was on a continous relapse for most of my life.....enter recovery care and in a couple hours i will be 2 yrs clean!!!
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222369 tn?1274474635
People obtaining long term clean time after their first attempt at abstinence is quite rare. People obtaining long term clean time after their first attempt at recovery is quite common.
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199177 tn?1490498534
nope i had one at 6 months because I was white knuckling it now i have almost 1000 days
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229538 tn?1300377767
Here is a question for everyone ! Is there anyone on this forum who has stopped and NEVER relapsed ? Lets say longer then a year . I'm just curious as it took me three times to get to were I am today .
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495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Here is my view on relapse.......Doesnt matter if it is for one day, one pill or one drink.  That is all i will need to stir the beast that lives within me.  Each one us may view this differently and that is ok.  All i know is in my world there is no such thing as just one.....Recovery is the answer, no matter how you look at it........sara
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Avatar universal
Agreed.  It's the rare,if any,person who can just walk away and never use again,just based on the decision to stop.
Addiction is a horrible disease and requires care and the help of,sometimes,many resources.  I believe this completely.  Personally,I now have 5 resources. I may wean a few over time but I want to cover every base,from every discipline,and thankful that I have the ability to do that.
V.
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222369 tn?1274474635
I also just want to say that just because I say that relapse isn't a part of recovery doesn't mean I don't think the individual isn't motivated to stay clean. It took me years of relapse to get into recovery, and I learned from each of them. A relapse shows that the person has motivation to get clean. The problem lies with the end goal. Most people strive for abstinence, not recovery. Abstinence without recovery only leads to relapse.
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222369 tn?1274474635
A couple of quotes from my readings...

Relapse cannot occur until the addict acknowledges the presence of addictive disease, recognizes the need for total abstinence, and makes a decision to maintain sobriety with the assistance of a recovery program. Periods of abstinence before recognition of addiction are symptoms of the disease.

Abstinence is only a prerequisite to recovery. It is not recovery. Recovery requires the appropriate treatment of long and short-term withdrawal symptoms, and the physical, psychological, and social problems caused by the addiction. It is switching from a lifestyle centered around using, to a lifestyle centered around healthy living.

Sometimes people recognize that they are addicted and sincerely attempt abstinence but do not understand that they need help from others and a recovery program to maintain abstinence. They just quit. They are surprised when they begin using again, not realizing that sobriety requires more than just not using.
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Avatar universal
...as I said,there are different schools of thought on that...just saying.

Then it might beg the question: What is relapse?  Is it going back to full blown use?
One day? One time? One pill?   One glass of wine?  
All the above?

Everyone has an opinion,I guess,and that's good. At least everyone is thinking!
V.
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199177 tn?1490498534
if you relapse you are in addiction you are not in recovery because you are actively using .
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Avatar universal
Crystal~ I tend to agree with you. There are different schools of thought.   Recovery is a long road...sometimes it's bumpy.  If you change your behavior to avoid the bumps,that's progress and moving forward in recovery.  Some feel that relapse is a part of the recovery process.  In addiction,there is no relapse because an addict keeps using;nothing to relapse from...    In recovery,an addict may relapse during the process of change but continues on to wellness having learned what behaviors to change further.
This has been explained as such to me...and,as I said,depending on the discipline of a Dr.,therapist,etc...there are different schools of thought.
Interesting post~
Vicki
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Avatar universal
Sometimes, we make mistakes and need to learn from them.  Relapse is not good, but realizing that you tried to live with your DOC again and it didn't work AGAIN, should be a learning experience.  Addiction as we all know is a terrible adversary, sometimes it wins....but, if a person learns from that mistake and works even harder to learn their triggers....I just don't feel like bashing them for their mess-up.....When somebody truly wants to get clean and makes a mistake, they already feel terrible about them selves for threatening their sobriety.  When I drive, I want to keep my eyes on the road ahead, not in the rearview, if you drive with your eyes solely on the rearview, you are bound to have an accident.  My point is we can't live in the past, learn from your mistake and move on and concentrate on the future.  

Every one is entitled to their opinions that's what makes us all unique and makes life interesting.  But, I feel that relapse is part of recovery if you learn from it.  Not to be mistaken for an excuse to go out and use your DOC.
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199177 tn?1490498534
its sad but its the truth you have to have recovery care I dont care how much will power someone has at some point they are going to need more the that ....
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222369 tn?1274474635
Well said Sarah. I'm sad to say that people have run from this website after we've told them that recovery without aftercare is NOT possible. I know because I did it numerous times. Like we've said many times, you will not succeed in this battle if you keep it a secret and do not seek aftercare. You may white knuckle it a while, but you WILL relapse.
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495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
If i didnt have any type of recovery relapse would be inevitable for me.....sara
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495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
If you are going to talk the talk you have to walk the walk.  I will not come on here and coddle anyone and tell them it is okay.  It isnt okay at all. This is about life and death.  I quit drinking years ago but never had any type of recovery.  I turned to pills and hit them hard. Thought that since i wasnt drinking it was okay.  I went ct 2 yrs ago and got into recovery.  Recovery has saved my life.  I know some people dont like the brutal honesty that is given here but had i not had and still do i would be able to justify my addict thoughts.  My recovery holds me accountable for me and my actions.  It works if you work it.        sara
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1032715 tn?1315984234
I feel I have a war going on in my head,I have to continually talk to myself,I try to validate that it would be ok to drink socially but deep down I know what would happen if I tried,same with the codeine I tell myself I can still use them if I'm in pain,but then I start to imagine I'm in pain,It's a viscious cycle and I do know I would succumb to using both every day again,so I constantly tell myself the facts about my addiction,now I just have to be on the alert for cross addictions.If only there was a pill to stop all addictive behaviours,LOL another pill,written by a true addict.

Denise
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Avatar universal
HI  Recovery is a way of life...to many people get clean and neglect Recovery...if you plan on staying clean Recovery care is not an optional thing it is a necessity it doest guarantee you wont relapse but it gives you a fighting chance not to ...it teaches you skills to lean how to deal with things like triggers and cravings ...all the mind games that you go thew
during your recovery process..it teaches you ways to process your thoughts that start the chain reaction to relapse... first its just a thought ...then it becomes an obsession if not stoped it very well may become an action...it dosent have to be that way...there are many good programs out there to help you with recovery N/A A/A and substance abuse conslors are just a few...Its never to soon to start a program...I started with a substance abuse conslor 2yrs ago...I was still a methadone addict at the time Paul gave me the courage and support I need to even make the decision to get clean ..we have worked one on one with my recovery he was there for my entire methadone taper to encourage me when I dident think it would be possible now we work on recovery
and all the things that go along with that...I also attend N/a meetings for support
I use to go only when I craved but a wise man told me you should get some meetings under your belt b/4 you need them so now I go weather I think I need to or not...I have never walked out of one without getting something out of it and have also made some new clean friends by going ...you need to make a conchies effort to reach out for help...this is not a disease that you can treat by yourself .....without aftercare I would have crashed and burned a bunch of times...do I crave sometimes...you betcha but I have learned how to process  my thoughts in a health fashion and now the triggers and cravings have become manageable...the last thing we want to do is sound like a broken record we all believe this because it works if you work it...it saddens me to see people work so hard to get clean only to neglect aftercare and fail..we all want everyone to succeed not to fall at the first ruff spot in the road....so please take note of what has been said in all the posts here it comes from our hearts we only want what is best for you and there is a path that leads out of active addiction ...follow it..good luck and God bless.....Gnarly        
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199177 tn?1490498534
Tram great post too !!!!!
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Avatar universal
Relapse was part of "something" for me, but it wasn't recovery.  I didn't realize it, but I was never in recovery.  I was just white knuckling it.  Sometimes for a couple of years at a time!  I thought I was doing good, but I wasn't.  I was just clean.  As in.....I would have passed a drug test.  There IS a difference.  Being clean is NOT recovery.  Repeat....NOT recovery.  Now that I have gone to meetings and actually listened and tried and participated, I am seeing that difference.  It is like night and day.  I went to two meetings yesterday, and both times I left feeling so happy that I went.  I had been DRAGGED to meetings when I was in rehab before, but I despised it!  I thought I didn't have anything in common with the people there for some reason.  My disease was just denying it's existence.  I had EVERYTHING in common.  I just didn't want to admit it!  

My life, for the first time, feels right.  That is the only way I can describe it!  When people ask how long before they will feel normal, I think the answer is "when you change your MIND and get some support and aftercare."  Physical WD goes away on it's own.....the rest won't happen on it's own!  

Ok....that's my two cents!!!

Hugs everyone!

TH
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