Relapse

I don't know what happened these last two days I found a bottle of Vicodin and somehow convinced myself that I could take just one. There was 30 in the bottle two days ago and now there is 6. I feel so horrible.

[MikeInFrance]

Ashley...I  am so sorry to hear that! Although I swear I will never take another drug again that scenario is so real as a possibility!  Get rid of the last few....enough ha to finally be enough girl! Those 6 will never help u anymore. I won't judge your past but please get rid of those.....REAL FAST ....RIGHT NOW!!!!

[Ashley0710]

I already flushed them

[Ashley0710]

It's like I get upset and still feel like those will help for some reason even though I know in the long run they will not. I'm so disappointed in myself

[dominosarah]

Try not to beat yourself up over this as feeling this way gets us nowhere.  You flushed the rest so that was a step in the right direction.  When you are feeling upset you need to talk to someone.  We are here for you~

[kk1303]

Instead of being disappointed in yourself, be proud that you caught your mistake early on & flushed the rest. Just look forward from here...not back.

[Ashley0710]

Will I have those awful withdrawl (withdrawal) feelings all over again will it be as bad

[MikeInFrance]

I can't answer that but hopefully someone can real soon! It's great you flushed them!! That took courage and strength and I have so much respect for that. Dont dwell on the setback ....please just think forward Ashley

[dominosarah]

The wd's shouldnt be bad Ashley.  Focus more on what you can do so this doesnt happen again.

[MikeInFrance]

I can't imagine it will be as bad for 2 days use but it pushes you some days back for sure. That's the craziness with this stuff...we know it's bad, it's wrong, it's everything negative but the way we run to it is evidence in itself how potent it really is. Get away and stay away! That's the best advice. Don't be scared because most of is have done this now and alot o people have gone back and are faced  with your reality too. You are by far not alone here

[MikeInFrance]

You think they helped you before but look where they got you? So what in the world makes you think  a different outcome will appear by using again? U need to really be disgusted with this stuff. I look at my addiction and if I think of an oxynorm I just get angry and think about a year of my life I lost and the damage I did to my brain and body.....my soul! Seriously this stuff is hardcore stuff!!

[kyle505]

You may have to go through some of the withdrawal symptoms, but since the duration of use was limited, it may not be too bad. Then again, we're all different.  And don't beat yourself up - if you've been reading the posts on this site you know that most of us have danced with addiction for years...On again, off again, until we finally have truly had enough. I used for over ten years, maybe more. I'd detox, use, detox, etc. Thankfully this last one was hell - nothing like I'd ever experienced. Won't do it again.
So, hang in there, and just consider the last couple of days a bump on the road to your recovery.

[justme1119]

Ashley,  I'm sorry that you have to go through this, but by posting and being honest you are helping those of us who may eventually be tempted to do the same.  I will read every relapse post I see!  It helps me tremendously to know what triggers people to go back.  I'm hoping I wont, but I know it can happen.  Thank you for posting and being honest.  

[kyle505]

How are you doing?

[Ashley0710]

I'm doing pretty good it hasn't been 24 hours yet though Sony hope its not gonna get any worse I just feel really tired but I am actually sick right now to so that could be causing it. We will see how tomorrow goes

[gnarly_1]

hi Ashley well fist off pick yourself up dest yourself off and put this behind you but use it as a learning lesson AFTERCARE AFTERCARE AFTERCARE is the key to success so many people try this on there own thinking the detox is the hard part.....its staying clean that takes the work as addicts we need to change the very way we think ad reason you can find this in the rooms od N/A or A/A a counselor or addiction therapist but left untreated only 10 % of the people will make it out drug free so become proactive in your recovery even if its just 1hr a week it will make a difference remember to do the same thing over and expect different results is the true definition of insanity......good luck and God bless.....Gnarly