Relapse???

Well, I had been clean for about 4 days after havin g a year long (give or take) addiction of 8-12 ES Vics a day, and feeling crappy but not horrific.  I then accidentally punctured my hand with a steak knife yesterday and did some damage.  I had to get 12 stitches and I severed the nerves in my hand.  The pain is unbearable but I am just hoping that I can get away with not having to have surgery.
Anyway, long story short, I was prescribed Percocets, the 10/650's.  I have a 5 month old daughter that I am unable to hold or play with or even change her diaper.  So, even though I knew it was not the best thing for me, I took a half last night and 2 halves today.  I do not feel high, I just don't feel as much pain.
I plan on only taking the halves when I am at the point where I can't function.  I would love to not have to take it but I have no one to help me with my daughter as my husband works a lot.
I know it's not an excuse at all and I am hoping I can manage it but what can you do when you really need some temporary relief from severe pain?
I did however, give all but 10 of them to my mother so if and when I need more, and I'm praying I won't, they won't be readily available.  My mother lives an hour away.
I feel a little bit depressed but I'm praying a lot.  Keep on trucking and posting everyone.  Reading your stories helps so much.
Thanks!!

[girlybuff]

Thank you so much.  It's just slightly comical to me that after all this time and everything I've gone through to get here, I go and injure myself.... It's almost funny actually at least that's the way I see it.
I'm trying to stay grateful.  I'm grateful I didn't lose my fingers all together.
I know I can handle this.  My honesty is the first step. The old me wouldn't have told aayone I got the pills and just would have eaten them until I had no more.  This me is being honest and careful.
Sigh.... I guess it's another lesson God thought I still needed to learn.
Moral of the story:
Don't use a brand new steak knife to open things.

[serah]

Wow, I agree that you sound to be doing really great, congratulations! That's how it always works huh, lifen keeps throwing you curves all the time, but keep up the good work.

I wanted to ask about your pregnancy, you said your baby is 5 months, so what happened with your addiction during your pregnancy? I am 13 weeks along now and having a hard time with all of it. I'm taking methadone now and hopefully will be able to quit completely within a couple weeks. What did you do? How did you get through it? I am emotionally exhausted from worrying constantly about the well being of my baby.

Good luck and I'd love to hear from someone who has been through what i am going through. Thank you and congratulations again, you really give me hope.
-Serah

[vicaddict]

Hi sun. So sorry about your hand!!! That sucks. Also a huge congrats on the 4 days! You made the right decision. Also..the fact that you gave the majority to your mother and left yourself with a minimul supply is also  a great idea! Says to me that you are really doing well for yourself.

If you have to take for pain, do not beat yourself up. I don't see anything wrong with that. Just please please be very careful hun. You definately do not want another addiction. But you sound like you have it under control. You know what the w/d's feel like I am sure...and you don't want to go back to those! I think you will be fine. Just like I said be extra careful hun.

Keep us posted!
Thoughts and prayers your way!
Tracy

[rsd_al]

Please go see a doctor!!

I wouldnt try to quit with a baby going. There is a chance it could stress it out. I really dont want to scare you, but you if you read down further, or maybe in the archives you will find some info on what your going through.
It is important if you want everything to go well you do it with doctors orders Please!

Allen