I tried once again, and failed again. I am now back taking Fioricet with Codeine, Lortab and finished the Percs that I had. Since we moved to this state almost four years ago, I have been in a detox facilty 11 times, ER don't know how many times, and in a regular hospital three times to have special IV meds to help my irritated liver from all of the tylenol... In the past when I have had to go to ER, I just decide all of a sudden to take like 20-30 pills in a short period of time. I take a pill, pack something else in my overnight bag knowing that after I go to the ER, they will send me somewhere... I never wanted to kill myself, so why have I done this? Do I want attention? I get plenty from my loving family.... I am so confused...I have no job as I got laid off 13 months ago, and have no insurance. I would love to go to a 28 day live in rehab somewhere, but without insurance, my options are absolutely horrible.... also, my husband would have to stay home to watch our nine year old, which means he would not be bringing in any money....... I hate the cycle that I am in........thanks for listening......
I think there is something really wrong with your situation. I hope that you can find a phychologist to get to the root of the problem. All of the problems seem to come from a need you have emotionaly as I am sure you do also have a drug problem also. This is not fair to yourself or your family and there is bound to be a mental health facility or free clinic to help you. I hope you will look into that. I don't say this to hurt your feelings as it is not my intention. I just think that anyone should look within their own soul and find out what makes them do self-destructive things.
Lisa have you attended any N.A meetings? I would follow up after seeing the Dr. , with regular meetings a sponsor and support here.
OR your husband should start thinking about who is going to watch the 9 year old when you are found dead with him. Sorry to be harsh but there are many of us addicts and alcoholics who are found dead in very unattractive conditions. Such as having puked thier tongue all the way out in the bathroom and ...... You can choose life. God Bless!!
I had a bad head injury in 2001 and took vicodin for 6 years(4 a day), sleeping pills, everything on the market. It was not till on day the college kids from church prayed for me and we threw 14 bottles of prescriptions into the trash and my headaches were gone forever. My liver is in excellent health and my recent blood work shows i am fit as a fiddle...
I would get a Bible and turn to the Gospel of John. I had a cocaine addition 19 years ago and rehab centers did nothing. The only think that helped was accepting what Jesus did for me on the cross and living for Him. No rehab, just the Lord Jesus Christ. he died that you may live. Seek Him as He is your only hope. I am now a youth pastor and i live to tell youth about Jesus and if I can keep 1 youth from going down the path I did then I can die and say my life meant something. Jesus loves you, turn to Him and ask Him to show himself real to you.
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