Relapsed

[tomskat]

Hi all.....I haven't been on in awhile but have been "lurking" lol!! The reason why is because I relapsed anmd am feeling so ashamed,depressed,confused,etc. I feel like I let all my friends down,especially a person who is very dear to me (and you know who you are!!). I angry also because I was so proud of my clean time;proud to be recovering.Now,I start the journey.Again. I just can't get over the "mental" feelings I'm having.ANy advice?? Thanks all~xoxo>A

[worried878]

I am assuming u do not seek any aftercare and u r doing this on ur own..this forum is a great place to be for support..but it is not real for many...it is easy to slip off this forum without notice cos so many come and go...support in real life helps lots more..counseling or meetings...sumpin u can touch
many resist aftercare like the plague!  they will put themselves into dangerous situations to use..go broke.hang out with poeeps that are not in our normal social circle...lie to doctors..lie to themselves and loved ones...even forge scrips...but the thought of seeking aftercare scares the poo out of them for some reason..i was afraid the first time i went//someone would see me or sumpin...lil did i know they were there for the same reason..and when i did see a co-worker she hugged me tight..i didnt realize it then but people know who r close to us that we r not right...they just dont say anything..it is a denial thing
keep on moving forward...if what u r doing is working then keep it up..having a plan is a good thing and posting on this forum is a good reminder of where u dont wanna go again..if ur plan isnt working then try sumpin different..relapse is common among addicts..and aftercare is often the ingrdient peeps leave out and can make or break recovery..good luck to u and keep posting

[tomskat]

Thank you all for the kind words that I needed to hear to validate my feelings as well as reenergize me. I love you all!!! And yes, sara,I will be posting and participating like I used to. I just feels like if I relapsed how can I helpo others. And Gizzy..."grandma" is gonna drive up there to whoop your but about the age jokes,lol!! love ya all~A

[gizzy32]

You will be ok tomskat. I know it's hard right now and those coke cravings hit hard, but you had a lot of clean time before and you will again. Remember, you CAN'T be around this drug.

My advice is to just take it one day at a time. You are not starting this journey again, you are already ahead cause you know what you have to do now and learned from this mistake. Stop lurking and work your recovery:) Chin up Grandma, haha. Hugs buddy.

[shoegirl01]

I agree with the above posts. Relapse is often part of it & feeling guilty & bad about yourself won't help. Just pick yourself up & try again. You have to do this for your self & not worry what others think & I think I can say no one here will judge as we all have the same struggles & know it is day to day & relapse can happen.
I will send you prayers & positive energy!

[SophieShine]

Sweetie, do you have any type of aftercare?

[Beccabeccalynn]

Do you go to aftercare? For me if I am not going to meetings I am in relapse mode sometimes it would be months but sooner or later my stinking thinking creeps in and catches my not paying attention and sooner of later I use
welocome back
Becca

[worried878]

R=R...relapse is part of recovery for many of us...feel how u feel right now///and i can tell u already r...u dont wanna kleep feeling like this too many more times//maybe no more times!//we have thick skulls for sure///know u r human///know u r an addict//accept it and move on out of this place///u can do just what u did before just better this time cos maybe u learned sumpin?  dont feel good to fail when u put so much work into this...but will only make u stronger///practice makes perfect...well maybe not perfect (: but it makes us stronger

get back up....let it go...really.. dont beat urself up any longer than absolutely necessary for u to know u dont wanna keep doing this over and over....keep posting

[dominosarah]

You didnt let us down, you let yourself down.  Stop beating yourself up now and get back on track.  Focus on your recovery and take care of you so this doesnt happen again.....Quit lurking and participate!!!       sara

[stilltrying1965]

No shame in relapsing just as the above said get back on your horse as we learn from our mistakes. I had over 200 plus clean days after going c/t off heroin i relapsed and im on day 4 i did not stay down i got up and back on my horse and you can do the same tomskat.So please dont beat yourself up about it get back on the horse and you know what has to be done good luck ,,,,,,,,James

[jstntime]

Hey,

The only advice I have is the same you gave me each time I relapsed.  Get back on your horse.  

Without you, I could not have made it through day 2.  You did not let your friends down, you have helped them up.  They will rally around you to do the same.

You helped save me from myself when I thought the task impossible. Don't hang your head in shame, your halo might burn your shirt!!!!!

You are so worth it, please stay safe and know we are all here for you as you were for us.

bob

"What we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down"  --  Mary Pickford