I appear to be stuck in a bit of a relapse cycle... back about 2 months ago I was clean for about 1.5 months off Codeine, than I relapsed for about 2 weeks stopped for 1 week and did the same, and I've been struggling with a week or two taking it and a week and half sober.
Would love some advise from people about keep on going on the sober trail. I'm tapering down as of yesterday and going down slowly over a 1.5 week before going totally off (was taking up to 30 Nurofen Plus - approx. 380mg codeine ).
Do you have help with your taper? It can be really easy to mess up a taper on our own. I couldn't do that (although with the benzos, I should have) - but that can be hard, really hard, for an addict.
And what kind of aftercare have you decided on? You've read the threads here, I'm sure. Quitting - relatively easy. Staying off? HARD WORK. You need a plan, new coping skills, new friends, new places to go, a new way of thinking and a new way of life. And NO - all of these changes don't need to take place at once - that would be overwhelming and the pressure would cause us to say forget it and then we relapse.
So what are you willing to do differently this time to stay OFF the drugs? You gotta start there. Good luck to you - and good for you for making the decision again to quit.
Hi:) I wasn't able to taper off painkillers either. It just felt like I was dragging out the detox & I couldn't control it. It was always 'I'll just start over tomorrow or take less the next day.' This went on for months, maybe even years if I am honest with myself.
The thing that has helped me the most was cutting off access to get anymore pills. Not having pills around & burning the bridge to my supplier saved my life. It was really hard to do that, but once I did, I think I finally started taking myself seriously and alot of the mental bargaining to get more pills went away because I knew I couldn't just send a text message or make a phone call to get some anymore.
Life is so much better without being on those pills. Its just hard to believe it when you don't really know what being sober really feels like & you know you have to go through that temporary period of detoxing and adjustment. Thinking about the withdrawal differently may help too. Instead of dreading it or feeling afraid, try thinking of it as a flu with a purpose. By the end of it, (And it DOES end), you will feel 100% better then you did before it. And not only will you feel better, but every area in your life will improve in time because the real you will be back in the drivers seat of your life. YOU CAN DO THIS!! :)
I went down the same road you are on. I would get clean for MONTHS at a time and then relapse by saying one pill won't hurt, however it NEVER stops there, you know that, right? I tried to taper, I tried cold turkey, either way at some point you just have to CUT YOUR SUPPLY OFF, it;s the ONLY way you will STAY CLEAN. I do think a taper is easier on your body but take it from a CHRONIC RELAPSER, set a date CUT OFF THE PILLS, it truly is the only way. I hope this is not to harsh I speak it from the heart, I spent my adult life on opiates, it is the ONLY way, as long as it lingers in your mind you can get pills, you WILL. There is a peace that comes knowing you have , NO ACCESS!!!!! I hope that you understand what I am trying to say. A life off of pills is so much better, just the peace is not lying to get more pills is a serenity in itself.
I couldn't agree more with everyone here about losing access to the drugs. When I cut myself off from my DOC, it actually made me feel sick, nauseaous, scared, desperate?. But after a few days that feeling turned to RELIEF. Sounds strange, I know. But doing this is a must.
I am almost certain that cutting off the supply is a pretty hard thing for him as he lives in australia and can get them otc from the chemist.
Hi my friend . I am sorry that you find yourself stuck on the proverbial hamster wheel. Correct me if I am wrong about your access to the supply.
Hun you have to make a final resolve to yourself when you will be done. It is a daily resolve that you will not use today. Something needs to change.
Have you still been going to counseling? Your lunch time walks? Attending meetings?
There is a life of sobriety for you. Your desire to be clean has to outweigh your desire to use. Nobody said it is easy,but it is doable.
Dig deep. Have you spoken with your partner about this yet?
Sending support and hugs,
Thanks everyone thanks advise, I really need the hard advise atm. As Mentioned I'm in Australia where codeine is OTC. Such as I walk a different route to walk to avoid the pharmacys.
Anyways I think I need to focus my energies back into aftercare and not into the withdrawals. Today I'll make a plan to get back to my therapist, plan a final quit date, arrange activities for after I'm clean such as exercise meeting with friends etc. and going to NA meetings (this one scares the hell out of me more from a social anxiety prospective)..
Any other ideas or advise no matter how harsh (I need a good booting in the right direction)
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