Relationship

Been a while since I posted. I'm still clean 6mos and 5 days today. Here's the situation. I got involved with another addict in recovery the end of august. She had a few mos more than me and relapsed a few weeks after we started dating. We found out a month or so ago that she's pregnant. She's since checked into an IOP. We used to talk to each other everyday but recently she's been isolating, not answering the phone when I call and hasn't spoken to me since Monday. I'm worried she's using again and don't know what to do. Then I think it may all be in my head and it's just because she's pregnant. Idk I pray she's not but this behavior is unlike her. Any experience strength and hope is appreciated.

Nate

[dominosarah]

Congrats on your clean time!!!!  I know there are a ton of emotions that run thru our head when we are pregnant but you know her better than we do.  I hope and pray she isnt using too.  Hopefully you will get ahold of her soon.  Keep your chin up and keep working your recovery.....sara

[Nathan_H]

So she's still not answering. I spoke with a close friend of hers who said she's not answering on purpose because she dosent want to have the baby and dosent want me to know. She's trying to save money for an abortion. She has court weds and will probably go to jail for missing her IOP last week and said shed rather let the state have the baby than let me get custody. Do I have any rights as the father? Should I talk to the judge? I'm so confused, I don't like feeling this way and using is deffenently an option at this point. I feel like I want to die. I also had a friend die from an OD last night this recovery **** *****.

[MickisGirl]

I am so sorry for all that is happening to you. You are setting yourself for failure with this grief of a friend and maybe the loss of a child and girlfriend. Get to your support system and talk. If it is here then do that now.

[Holliee]

as a father you do have rights and if i were you i would call a lawyer and if you have to take her to court. Before this all gets out of hand I would try to talk to her even if that means going to where she is at and try figure this all out, I am sorry for the loss of your friend but look what opiates has caused please dont use you have got a lot of clean time please. if you need to talk message me anytime and best of luck to you,. keep us posted

[dominosarah]

Yes you have rights and i would exercise them.  I am so sorry to hear about your friend.  That is the cruel reality of what this addiction can do.  You have come to far to go back to the using world.  No amount of pills will take any of this away.  Deal with this head on with a clear head.  You can do this.......remember 1 pill is too many and 1,000 isnt enough.              sara

[Nathan_H]

So, I spent the rest of today with my sponsor. He went and talked to her. She apparently thinks I'm being overconcerned about things but that's bullsh*t. She said she dosent want to talk to anybody and will call me when she's ready. I think when she calls I'm gonna tell her it's over because I can't be worrying about someone that dosen't have the courtesy to call her bf whose child she's carrying. It's too much to handle and do me at the same time. Funny how the addict was waiting for an excuse to shoot dope. I deserve a healthy loving relationship. If she can't take care of herself I'm going to file for custody when the baby is born. I love her but think it's best for both of us to let her go. Good news is I went to a meeting (speaker stunk, one big drugalog) and didn't pick up. Now I have to feel the hurt :( thk u all for being here and if I'm reacting too quickly or harshly let me know.

Sad Nate

[dominosarah]

I am proud of you Nate....You took care of yourself and reached out. I hope this situation gets better and she gets the help she needs but in the mean time you take care of yourself so if you do have to raise this baby by yourself you are healthy and clean.  Keep us posted         sara