I am the Mom of an opiate addict. He is constantly relapsing. I believe with all my heart that he wants to stop, as he has detoxed several times, but can't seem to do it for more that 2 weeks. We aren't sure if we should let him live with us, as when he wants to use, he steals. We have pulled away, as far as "enabling" by letting him live here, but we are so confused about, what is helping and what is enabling? Any advice from some one who's clean would be helpful.
An addict cannot be forced to get help except under certain circumstances, such as when a violent incident results in police being called or following a medical emergency."
"Family members often try to protect an addict from the results of his behavior by making excuses to others about his addiction problem and by getting him out of drug-related jams."
"Sometimes family members feel sorry for the addict or tend to avoid the addict, let him come and go as he pleases. This comes across to the addict as a reward—after all, all he wants is to be left alone."
"Enabling is doing for others what they are capable of doing for themselves. When we enable addicts, we prevent them from experiencing the consequences of their own actions. When we do this, we discourage them from learning from their own mistakes which, in turn, prevents them from realizing they have a problem. The addict has made their addiction their whole life. The normal, natural things every person needs to learn have been put aside. When we continue to reach in and do even the simple things for people we love, how will they learn to do for themselves?"
Peers can be the biggest enablers. Having the same tendencies and shortcomings as the addict, they may produce a feeling of competition or acceptance for behavior that is destructive to the addict.
This is especially true in an environment where competition and obsessive behavior is the accepted norm.
It is good that he tries to quit but it takes more than that to succeed. At the 2 week mark, he is barely on the road to recovery. It takes months for the body to reset itself and rebuild what damage has occurred. He may need counseling and I would recommend that he joins NA. Narc anon may help you and your family.
I would also recommend reading the information in the Health Pages here. Near the top right of page is a link. Sticking around here and asking questions will help you understand the battle he is and will go through.
I also wanted to let you know I tried quitting on my own numerous times. I ended up going to a detox center and today is 14 days clean off any drugs!!! wow sorry I just cant believe I'm at day 14 I've never made it more than a few days. Sometimes even when you want to quit It still takes something to shake you up and really make that person hit their rock bottom before they can mentally say this is it I'm going to get off these drugs.
Does he attend outpatient therapy or N/A classes ? I attend 2 to 3 outpatient meetings a week and the days I dont I attend N/A meetings I also get on here everyday and this site is like a meeting. Great people with great advise to give on here and everyones got something in common "addiction" Or a loved one with an "addiction"
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