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Anyway, I wasn't totally nuts or hardcore or anything. I was on OC's for 4 years, never stopping, and that's just what it took to get me high at the end. As you must know, the tolerance grows and grows, and the hole gets deeper and deeper.
We can talk if you are thinking about finding a way to get off the stuff.
pixi
CATUF
(@ Day 36)
Could you post your fabulous recipe again? Several people need it and I can't find it on the boards anywhere.It was a lifesaver for me and i thank you for sharing it.hope you are having a good day.
pixi
Trout
Thx,
Peace to all!
Suzie
RLS also occurs to people not going through withdrawl. It's generally seen in an older poplulation. Some people severly suffer, and the reasons for it are not well understood. Treatment can vary from quinine which helps some, to even using opiates to control severe RLS cases.
I was lucky and didn't have RLS. But I can understand how miserable it can be. At least after withdrawl and detox it can get better.
Suzie, if you are still having RLS well after getting opiates out of your system it may be a condition not related to your drug use, and your use of opiates may have controlled it. If our symptoms of withdrawl get better, we should all consider ourselves lucky.
Sundown
I wrote to this forum for the 1st time yesterday, I had written it to BodyMechanic because his words could of been my own. I sit and read all your thoughts, and I am amazed that I am not alone. Do any of you ever look at people in the supermarket and malls and wonder are they are wandering around taking something too, or am I the only one? Am I the only one who has to take 4 darvon in the morning just to feel like I can handle the day? Today I had to go to see a Dr. It was for a legitimate female issue, but I had to fight the extreme urge to "cry wolf" that I was having back pain so I could get some vicodin or something. I just couldn't do it, i wanted to, but didn't. It is now the evening. I worry about what will happen tomorrow, I count my pills and wonder how am i going to do this before I can get another RX or my hands on something. I feel like a louser. I have a good life, a great husband, and am keeping this feeling to myself. I only feel good when I take the meds, otherwise I feel like I could sleep all day, and I'm so cold all the time. I just read something about a Thomas recipe. What is this? Any words of encouragement would be appreciated as I don't know if I can break this cycle. Life is hard, drugs seem to make it easier. Sometimes this justifies things for me. My husband smokes pot, but it seems that if he doesn't, it doesn't effect him. He once told me I was slurring and got on my case, so of course I got defensive and said who was he to say **** being he smoked weed? Is my drug of choice worse than his? Or are we both in the same boat? Are we all in the same boat?
Thanks for listening.
Secondly, Instead of looking around at people wondering if they were on something just like me, I looked around and envied people that were able to carry on with the mundane things WITHOUT being on something. (although I will never know if they were addicts like me)
Today I was at the store with my husband and for the first time, I didn't think everyone was staring at me because in the past I just KNEW they WERE looking at me and could see I was a addict. (which they couldn't, I didn't look any different than anyone else.) I think that was the guilt of my addiction kicking in. I just wanted to be normal.
I didn't read your first post, (I will look for it when I finish this) you said that you take darvon in the morning to get through your day, are you in pain as well as trying to deal with your dependency to the drug? As far as your husband smoking weed and your drug of choice being opaites. I know from past experience that I never got addicted to smoking weed,but then met my husband and flushed all of my stash as he was straight as an arrow and he wouldn't hear of his fiance smoking weed, that was twenty years ago) I didn't crave it afterwards, I didn't have withdrawal symptoms ect.
He can get mad at you for doing prescription drugs and you can get mad at him for doing weed. Its not a contest. is one worse than the other? I don't know. both of you have to be in control of your drug of choice, not the other way around.
I wish you the best of luck and please, email me anytime. ***@**** (note the two nn's in starravenn) I'm a good shoulder.
Hugs
Suze
The worst part was that if I had understood that I was an addict and took action about it, she would have been supportive and I probably could have salvaged my marriage. Instead, by staying in denial (after all, "I could NEVER really be an addict"), I ended up divorced, depressed, alone, and a drug addict, who got worse until about a month ago. Now that I have been clean, and able to think clearly and relefct on my life, I understand the damage I did. On the other hand, while i can never go back and change my life's choices, I can start living for today and the future for the sake of myself and my daughter.
Learnig to be honest about our addictions not only with ourselves but with our loved ones is so important. It took me a long time and a lot of loss to learn that lesson. I hope all here in this forum don't have to lose as much as I have in order to learn that lesson. Some here have lost even more than I. All is relative in life. So my heart goes out to all who have lost so much of life to addiction. May we all look forward to a future of healing, rather than a life of painfully living in our past.
Sundown
Peace
WEll I just wanted to congratualate you for coming here! This is the first step on the road to recovery. Keep expressing yourself and remember to keep an eye on that angel on your shoulder!
Peace and love to all!
And get out and vote plz!
Suzie
i got no high from the AMBIEN, and i would suggest that those who have rls ask their dr. about it. if you explain your situation, what you are going through and how bad it is, he or she can help.
AMBIEN was a life saver for me and i had rls terribly for quite a while. i hope this info helps others out.
The Restless leg syndrome is the worst, I might have gotten a decents night sleep if I didn't feel like jogging from Virginia to California. Its different for everyone I assume. Mine lasted for about eight days. My husband wouldn't even sleep with me during this time. I took melatonin which you can purchase from a healthfood store. That helped me EVENTUALLY get to sleep even with the RLS. Try the Thomas recipe. Others say Ambien helps. I just didn't feel like going to the doctor to explain WHY I needed the ambien this time around. ALthough I have seen websites that sell it. I don't know if they are for real, but the prices if I remember correctly are quite high. It amazed me that they also sold Valium, ativan and xanax and one site even has a doctor that will send you darvocet!!!!!!! (for a fifty dollar consultation fee of course) Go figure. no wonder there are addicts out there if this stuff is so readily available to anyone that has a computer. I had absolutely no help medication wise when I was going through withdrawal. I only found these sites while looking for a forum like this one where I could talk to others just like me.
Smalltown, Where are you today and how are you doing? Post and let me know how things are..
You too Taeme..How are you doing today?
Take care all
Suze
Sorry I missed a couple of days postings. I have just been busy with the normal life requirements. Work, housework, etc. I've been doing better. I have only (only...this is how my mind works) been taking 5-6 pills per day (for the last 6 years), this is the way it has been for me. I very rarely go over that, but I know it's not the quantity. I basically take a few darvon in the morning to open my eyes, then maybe 1 or 2 after lunch, then I don't take any for the rest of the evening. I have trouble sleeping, I get an RX for 16 soma's, and it lasts me about 2 1/2 weeks. I take one of those and I sleep great, but when they are gone, I sleep like hell. I buy some over the counter stuff, otherwise I wouldn't be able to sleep. I notice when I don't take something to sleep I have the most outrageous dreams, completely out of control. Is this normal?
This forum is really helping me. It sounds like many of us find comfort in bearing the secrets we carry around with us. I am still on the fence on telling a Dr that I need help. Sometimes, especially now that I am able to speak with all you wonderful people, I feel that I can do this by myself. I have never felt this ready to stop. Of course, I am in fear of the holidays. I don't want to be "sober" through them. Even though I said prior, I don't even get high from the drugs. I had read a comment from bodymechanic and he stated that when he takes his drug of choice, he feels better, there is a sparkle in his eye and he loves his family more, he is nicer to people. I feel exactly the same way. I don't get high, I just feel normal. I don't know what I am trying to avoid in reality. I love my husband with all my heart, hate my job, but I don't know anyone (honestly) who loves theirs. I did start taking the pills back when I was in a bad marriage, going to college and everything was falling apart. There was definetly a void in my life then (this is 6 years ago), now it's just a habit, I'm an addict. I'm taking this day by day though. Today is Thursday, I'm going to make an honest effort to not do any pills through the weekend. The truth...I'm about to run out. It'd be best to feel like hell, which I know I will, during the time I'm off work. Then I can take what little amount I have left next week. It's a goal, but I always end up taking something. I have a source, other than my Dr for drugs, but I have to sometimes wait. Next Friday should be the day I get some, which is a whole 8 days away, and I'm not going to have enough pills to make it till then. See the goal is to never run out. It saddens me that this is my goal...to never run out of pills. Sorry to ramble on, it helps to say these words, see these words, My words. I have to own up to this problem, and I thank all of you for the support you've already given to me.
I'll write again tomorrow, and probably all the time over the weekend being I'm going to "try" to stay clean. Please send any advice you can for how I can deal with the withdrawls I will most definetly feel this weekend.
peace to all.
Smalltown
When you think of how long we were abusing our bodies, to feel well in just several weeks seems like a miracle to me. Hang in there, knowing that this forum is a great source of support and comfort. I know we are all pulling for you.
Sundown
How do you make it thru these symptoms. I did take a hot bath, and that helped for a little while.
Sundown
Sundown