Revia

[AnnieS]

Hello Everyone, I am so greatful to have found this site. I have been suffering with addiction for the past 20 years. In short I was in recovery for 8 years. My drugs of choice were more of what ever. I went through rehab the last time and enter the programs AA & NA which I feel I owe my life to. For 8 years I have been successful in staying clean by going to meetings and working the 12 steps. In Jan I had to have some heart surgery which I went through successfully. I was prescribed oxycontin for pain after the opperation. I wasn't familiar with the medicine but took it as prescribed. (mistake) It started that monster up and the next thing I knew I was buying oxy off the street to get as much as I could. I have since been through 2 detox programs and am now getting ready to go on a new drug Revia. It was suggested since I was having such a hard time with my relapse. (going out after so many years of success is the hardest battle to fight with yourself) Anyway does anyone know anything about this. It is a narcotic antagonist. I had gum surgery last week. I took Vicoden (as prescribed)one every 6 hrs and finished on Sat. Is it safe to start the Revia after 72 hours or will I get sick? I'm rushing this as to not make it so long but I took the Revia last month while I still had oxy in my system and have never been that sick in my lilfe. I'm affraid but want to start the Revia ASAP. It will really help me I think if I don't get sick. I am having bad cravings and anxioness for oxy but don't want to go back there. Can anyone one help?

[kstuebin]

I looked up Revia on www.rxlist.com and it didn't have a link to it but said it was an opiate antagonist so you don't want to mix it with any narcotics.  Vicodin has a half life of 3.8 hours so it would be out of your system in 72 hours. I'm not an expert but There is quite a few on this forum and I'm sure they will answering you soon.  I would just say that the Revia isn't going to address your craving and once you take it, taking any kind of narcotic will be out of the question. Even if it doesn't make you sick, it will block the effects. There are other options, such as weaning yourself off the drugs, and there's Thomas' recipe I'm sure you've read about. It's posted in the archives or someone can give it to you.  Anytime, you need information on drugs rxlist.com is a very good site with detailed info.  You just type the drug into the search box.

[bugslifew]

Comment By: bugslifew on Monday, October 29, 2001



Hello everyone..Well I fianlly got the courage to write to u all. I was addicted to vicodens, for the last 3 years...not straight through but on and off...when i was pregnant i obviously didn't take them. after having my baby i became depressed and was taking percocet, but they ran out...so i had access to vic's and took around 15/5mgs a day!!
finally, someone in my life noticed them missing from their cabinet, that's when i admitted to taking them, and admitted to having a problem. I never thought it was bad, cause it was from a doctor, but i found out it was a narcotic....i was so glad to talk to my family about my problem, then i did "Thomas's detox" and since then have stayed off of them. I am thinking clearly, and have turned to God and Spirituality through all of this, and I have been fine. I still have my off days, but who doesn't, i just put in my head that i don't need a pill to make the bad day go away, i just look at my child, or read, or go out, anotherwords, i try to occupy my time.
this site has helped me tremendously, thank u soo much, the detox recipe was so helpful..i still take the vitamins every other day.
thanks
p.s.  God is always there 4 u, u are never alone,  his angels are at your side,just ask and God will coming running, i know this to be true. He sprinted to me and i've never felt more at peace, this feeling beats the "1/2 hour" high of narcotics.

[katie r]

Sorry to hijack this thread...this is just a quickie. I was reading the rules and guidelines to this forum...here is one of them:
Posting material that is unlawful, obscene, defamatory, threatening, harassing, abusive, slanderous, hateful, or embarrassing to any other person or entity as determined by Med Help in its sole discretion;

Seems to me that Doc Dan aka danielcc didn't quite adhere to the terms of this forums rules. He was very defamatory to Thomas....he was hateful to all of us and tried to embarrass us....didn't succeed there.
Just my two cents.
Katie

[cindi]

Your 2 cents is worth a million bucks  you are so right,,,,we have to remember we are bigger people than him....he is small, one person,,,,we are a family,,,and families stick together....Thomas is capable of defending himself but I think he really truly knows how appreciated he is when we band together and defend him,,,we take care of our own  right girlfriend?   love cin

[cindi]

Hi everyone,,,I have not heard from JB today,,nor has he posted on thr forum which may only mean one thing,,,he went to the hsopital....please,,,can I ask that we all take a moment and Say a prayer for this dear man,,,that his jouney be fruitful and that they are able to help him,,,,I would also like to ask that we all,,everyone  of us on this fourm,,,this wonderful family please take a moment and pray for this Country....for the safety of our children tonight and the safety of us all in the days to come...WITCHING YOU ALL A HAPPY HALLOWEEN     Love to all  cin

[tpowell453]

Hey to everyone!  I am new here, and I am very pleased to
read the helpful suggestions posted by everyone.  Even Thomas.

No - Especially Thomas! :)

Anyway, I sobered up last year after 16 years of drinking
and 12 years of med addiction, mostly Xanax.  I took
Paxil for a couple of years also. And Buspar.  (None worked).
I had a BAD case of anxiety disorder.  Wouldn't go out of the
house for 2-3 months at a time.  It were bad.

In any case, my heart finally begin to give out (at age 38) and
I ended up in intensive care for the third time.  I thought
it would probably be the last.  But after 16 years of PURE DAILY
HELL, and a constant anguish, God just decided to give me the
miracle, I guess.  I stopped drinking long enough to detox, and then out-of-the-blue, someone at work told me about Serzone.  So I tried it.  I have been sober for 16 months now and am back at
work daily.  The anxiety is gone, and so is the day-to-day depression I struggled with for so long.

I only take a small maintenance dose - 75mg, twice daily.  But it
really works big time for me.  The difference in my life has
been nothing short of miraculous.  I would advise anyone who has
this type of anxiety / depression / addiction disorder to at
least check into it.  AND PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP!

Thomas is right in a lot of ways, but the main thing is to fight
the good fight and never surrender.  The next day can be the
one that changes everything!  And don't forget about God, 'cause
I promise he hasn't forgotten you!

Happy Halloween and my Bestus Prayers for You All And Yours!

TJ in Houston, Texas

[GJ]

First off, I would just like to say CONGRATS to all the recently (and not-so-recently) clean folk I'm seeing here who have so graciously offered up their stories for everyone else to read and learn from! It's been a great thing for me to come here (*lurking* for the most part) and read the many ups, downs, ins and outs of the thing we call "drug addiction". Witchywoman it's been great seeing how you found sobriety since you began your detox like a week after I began mine! I see so many similarities in your story to my own, other than the fact that I took the painkillers just for the hell of it (I have no chronic pain problems). Hope you can get back to your dancing soon ;-)

I've just gotten back from having my mother undergo rapid opiate detox, and it has been pure hell, for BOTH of us! I have never known how the withdrawal of opiates can turn someone so NICE into the most rude, unappreciative, self-centered person I know of! We had thought this might be a "quick solution", but no dice. It's like someone set of a bomb in her head! I remember my own withdrawal being bad, but my mother is basically in a state of constant diarrhea, skin-crawls, depression, and "do this, do that, bring me this, bring me that, NOW!". It is like dealing with an infant, only much much more demanding! She has crapped her pants several times now...what a mess! I suppose some people react to the treatment differently, but I'm guessing that my mother has some serious psychosomatic issues that I just can't solve for her. I'm 21 and it's like I'm her permanent babysitter! I've only just BEGUN to think about going away to school now that we're getting her free of opiates. Hopefully when she recovers it will get better, seeing as for the past 2 years I've had to bring her all of her food since she refused to leave her room, even to go to the store!

Question: I'm worried that she's been taking way way way too much xanax to get through her withdrawal. She WILL NOT let me monitor the pills either, it's her "only sense of security" she tells me. I'm at the point where I (hate to say it) somewhat DETEST being NEAR her! It's like I'm a petty maid and I'm ready to go out of my head and blow up at her for barking orders at me every five seconds (in the most rude and blatant tone imaginable). AAAARGH!
Oh well, I know things will improve with good ol' time, but I think this question would be for Thomas: what's the rate at which she should wean off of xanax? Like how many pills a day should she go down? I suspect that she's been wolfing as many as 6-9 of those damn things a day and I CANNOT dissuade her without her blowing up at me! But once the physical part is over (and I've found her the best f**king shrink I can find), how fast can the weaning be?

Sorry to make this so long...

G

[Thomas]

Revia is Naltrexone, the narcotic equivalent of antibuse for alcoholics. I'd wait a bit longer if I were you. If you're body is still habituated to the narcotics, naltrexone will throw you into full-on opiate withdrawal as in right now.

Thomas

[GJ]

Naltrexone is what my mother is taking right now. Apparently, it is what they give to people who have overdosed on something, and in minutes it puts them into a state of EXTREMELY rapid detoxification. If you take Naltrexone after taking any opiate, within 10-20 minutes, you will have ALL the symptoms common with any WD (leg cramps, nausea, diarrhea, skin crawls, etc)

So basically: DON'T take Naltrexone unless you've either already detoxed and are looking for something to stop the cravings or have undergone some type of rapid detox treatment (as my mother underwent this past week). Either way, you need to consult HEAVILY with a physician before taking that stuff. It's definitely quite harsh in its "effectiveness".

[Abbie]

This is my first time posting a message and please forgive me for cutting in. I've been reading posts for a few months and want to share more with all of you. I've been on pain meds for about 3 years. I first came here when I was going through withdrawls for the first time in August. Vicoden 4-8 pills a day. Then my doctor put me on oxycontin 10 mg.x 2 and now 20mg x 3 a day.Going back on Vic750/2.5 4-8 a day. I'm taking the medication for back pain resulting from a car accident. My pelvis was fractured in 2 places and I was in the hospital for 3 weeks. I'm 33 years old and raising 2 beautiful little girls 2 yrs. and 9 months old.After lurking here for many months, I went to my sister and confessed that I had a problem with vicodin. You all gave me so much encouragement to reach out and get help and to not feel shameful or guilty about my problem. I was on my hands and knees so desperate for help and I thank God every day that you were all here for me. The mothers like (jennyfla.) and others but I can't recall all of your names, you were angels for me because it was so hard to go through withdrawls and take care of my husband, home and children.
Thomas- Thankyou for the recipe. I didn't have all of it while coming off the vics but did ok.

W.W. - You go girl, I'm going to be there again. It feels so good to feel. :)

I would love to be able to say something personal to each and every one of you right now because you have all touched my life so deeply. Just know that I love you all and it feels good to be out of the lurking mode and to be a part of this family and share my story.

Bugslifew & tpowell453 - Yes, God is so good! He loves us all! :)      

Thankyou my friends for your unconditional love and I'm sorry for cutting in. God Bless us all.    Abbie

[kstuebin]

Here is a perfect example of how Dr. Steve is completely useless.  This was a medical question. And he is the doctor who is supposedly monitoring this board. It was my impression that annies needed an answer immediately. Oh that's right, consult your physician.  If it wasn't for Thomas and GJ, she could have taken the Revia and been in full withdrawl right now.  Sorry, didn't mean to go off on the Dr. Steve tangent again.  It's just that these are human lives we're talking about here.

[cindi]

How long has this been going on with your mom?  do you ever give youself a break?  go out and do things?  you are so young,,,I have to give you credit for taking care of your mom and puuting her needs first at such a young age....my mom was very sick for a long time and last year at this time I was taking care of her  it was hard...but you don't know how long they will be around,,,It doens't sound as though your mom is terminal....My mom died on Christmas morning....almost 1 year ago.. You certainly have earned a spot in Heaven,,,but do yourself a facor..take a break  think about you first,,,,,you may feel alot better....love cin

[kstuebin]

Francois emailed me and pointed out that it might be helpful if the email addresses were linked.  Duh.  It's been updated. Now we're all just a click away.  Here's the url again: http://www.mdo.net/users/kstuebin/aemail.html
If you want to be on the list, email me your forum name and email address:  ***@****  I've heard from a quite few lurkers who want this forum to stay. It has helped them immensely. They're not ready to join in yet, but read our comments every day.

[Shea]

Hi all,

Here is my email  ***@****.  Cindi, katie, jeenyfla I would love some pics too. It is so nice to have a face to put with the name

May you find peace

Shea

[jennyfla]

Well i'm falling apart today, and I just don't know what to do.  Last night, i received a call from someone.  He had a conversation with my husband over the weekend and I overheard something this person had asked him that he denied.  I confonted my husband, but he said he couldn't remember.  Well this person called back last night, and I asked what they were talking about.  He said he couldn't tell me, it was real ugly.  I made him tell, and found out that my husband slept with that 21-year old slut while i was at disney world back in sept.  This was right before i was ready to walk out the door with the kids to go trickertreating.  Talk about ripping my heart out, i was shaking so bad i didn't know what to do.  I just went ahead with my friends, and explained that i just had some disturbing news, and went onward.  I had to carry my 30# little girl most the way, it was very exhausted.  I'm only 106# myself, i'm not a big girl, but i'll tell you what, i can throw a punch.  I got back home, and proceeding to beat the daylights out of my husband.  I feel horrible about it, but i just couldn't stop myself.  This slime actually over my house that night.  My husband picked her up in MY car, and brought her to MY house.  He even made her clean the house because he knew i'd freak at the mess.  She TOUCHED MY vacuum cleaner.  My husband cured me of loving my house now, i can't look at it the same, everything in my life has changed in one simple minute.  He told me he was very very sorry, but he had warned me that if i didn't give him the affection he needed, that he would look elsewhere.  I do everything for this man short of wiping his ass for him.  I try to give him love, but it's just so hard sometimes when he always in a world of self-pity, always complaining about the kids, etc. etc.  I kept waking up crying last night, i still can't believe it.  We just refinanced the house, getting our dept situation under better control.  I was actually thinking yesterday, if he only got a job that he liked, things would really be looking up.  I was having so much fun putting makeup on my daughters last night, i was really enjoying life for a change.  
I called her home and her mother answered.  After saying some choice words about her daughter, she did talk to me about drug abuse and how it destroys lives.  I woke up this morning and called her again leaving her a message on her answering machine about how i hoped that her daughter rotted and away, and all kinds of things, and i threatened that if she ever returned to town, i would find her and smash her ugly face in.  Well the ***** called the cops, and they called me on my cell phone and told me to stop, or else they would throw me in jail.  Also, if this girl got so much as a hangnail, that they were coming after me.  So i guess it's ok for this slut (all she's ever done in her life is be a stripper), to shoot up in my house, sleep with my husband, and just be in my house.  I HATE my house now.  I worked so hard for the house, I waited a long long time to have it, living in a dump before this, i also wanted a nice house.  First my husband burns it back in 1999, which turned out to be a good thing, it was completely redone, and i didn't loose anything precious to me.  He did injure his back which he thinks gives him the right to take pain medication again.
My husband told me over the phone to 'get over it', that it meant nothing, it's over!  But they talked about ME, and how I never give him any affection, they were sitting in MY house, talking about ME.  She's only 21 for god's sakes!!!!  He's 43 years old.  What advice could she possibly give.  She can't even take care of herself or her young child, doesn't even have custody, her mother does.  She's been in jail, protituted herself.  I did find out my husband had enough sense to use a rubber, but that only shows it was premeditated.  
Back in October, i noticed she was calling him a lot on the cell phone.  I called her and told her to stop calling him.  She told me it was him calling her.  He continued to call her even two weeks after it happened, i saw her number on the cell phone bill.  If he had 'erased' it from his memory like he said he did, then why did he keep calling her, only stopping when i threatened him, i just knew something was very wrong!
So now what am i supposed to do??  I don't know what to do??  I hurt so bad inside, i just don't feel like i can stand it!
I don't even want to go back to that house anymore, i can't even look into his eyes anymore, how am i going to do this.
Then, 1-month after this episode, i had a birthday.  My boss took me to lunch, and my husband had such a fit.  How could he have had the nerve to give me grief for going to lunch after what he knew he had done, he had no remorse like he's claiming.  He didn't even give me so much as a birthday card.  I can put that alongside the anniversary present/card i got this year to go along with all the others.
Yet he tells me he loves me, but how could he?
We have 20-years together, now what?
I just don't know what to do!  I am so filled with pain and anger right now, i don't know what to do.
I was thinking about getting a picture of her, and posting it all over town with the word 'slut' on it!  I would do it if i had a picture.
I just hate so much right now, i don't want to let my hatred destroy me!  I'm afraid of what this is going to do to me.
Help!
Lv Jenny :(

[katie r]

I'm so glad you posted your email addy...I was hoping you would so we could email each other from time to time. Cindi and I have had some great conversations that way....and we don't have to worry about getting another blast of nonsense from doc dan!
I'll send you some pic's later today.
NOW! To all the men....I just wanted to tell you guys that you are talking to a bunch of great looking women! From the pic's I've seen so far.....these women are beautiful on the inside and on the outside. It still amazes me the compassion I have found here. And I don't mean just the women...the men on this board are so great. I've never been around men that have given me the support and compassion that you guys have.
So to all of you.....I appreciate all of you more than you'll ever know!
Shea....I'll email you later.....talk to you soon!

[jennyfla]

Congratulations sweetie, and i am so happy to hear that i was of some kind of 'help' to you along the way.
It's nice to know that even if i'm not helping myself right now, i'm actually helping other, wow, i really needed that today!
Best of luck to you, and i hope your world is filled with happiness!
Lv Jenny

[jennyfla]

So i guess this big storm, Michelle, which might be a hurricane by the time it gets here will be threatening south florida by the weekend.
Should I shove my husband out the door in the middle of the storm and hope the winds blows him away!  I know he already was blown, but hey, what's one more girl now at this point.
Hey Michelle, blow me!!!!
Jenny, Steaming, and misting, I can't decide which to be!  >:(

[jennyfla]

He keeps calling apologizing.  He said for the sake of the kids, I need to "get over it".  Maybe for the sake of the kids, i need to get over him!!!  I don't know how i'm going to go back into that house tonight.  That's MY house, how dare they do that in MY HOUSE!!!  I clean that house, i take care of everything, he does NOTHING!!!
I worked for three solid days on my daughter's witch costume for halloween.  I couldn't even enjoy halloween night, i was a basketcase!  I used to love Halloween, but no more!
My head feels like it's going to crack open any minute.  I've got a migraine from hell and i'm stuck here at work til 5:00, then i have to go home to 'that house'!  I vacummed and washed the couch with cleaner this morning as if i'm going to wash away something that happened almost 2-months ago (I'm Crazy!!!)
Sad thing is, i don't even have enough pain pills to go nuts with and make a sad attempt to take away this awful pain in my heart.  No amount of drugs could take away this pain right now.  I just don't know what i'm going to do.
:(
Lv Jenny

[Abbie]

I try to think of what I could say to take some of the pain away. It's easy to give advice and so hard to act on it when you are so hurt. Just don't let them rip apart the beautiful person you are inside. I'm going to pray that God will give you Peace where there is anger and and hope where there is doubt.
I'm new to the forum and just started posting and without you Jenny I wouldn't have had the encouragement from your stories to get through my tough times. ((( Hug ))) :)    Abbie

[SHOTSY]

I'm so sorry he did this to you. I know I can't really help you figure this one out. But I feel for you. I know some marriages can get past an affair. And have heard their stronger. I guess you just have to figure out if he's really wanting to work thru it.Take care of yourself, I really truly mean that. Love to you, Shtosy

[jennyfla]

Thank you for caring.
My husband just called and keeps saying he is so sorry.  He says he already misses me because of what this all has done.  He says he wasn't even thinking when he did it.  He knew they were going to be alone together, and just couldn't resist getting this attention from her that he feels her needs so much.  But what will stop him from doing it again?  Why didn't he think of me before he did this?  Am I so much not there for him in our relationship.  Sure I have three children to care for, and a full-time job, not to mention a horrible addiction, but he gets so pitiful sitting there with his head on his lap all of the time day after day.  I know he's hurting, but there's only so much i can do.  I've babied him for too long, it's time for him to take control of his own life.  This wasn't the way to go about it!
I just don't know what i'm going to do.  20-years is a long time!
Lv Jenny

[SHOTSY]

Frank Lee wanted me to pass on a "hello" to everyone. I expect he should be back soon.                                                 I've had a really BAD day myself. Not as bad as some right now, I know. I care for you guys, please know that. I turned into a basket case earlier. Crying, emotionally distraught ,agonizing over the plight of the U.S., what it means to my family.Boiling water,not even knowing if that's of any use.  Physically I didn't feel real bad, same old pains, except for some sharp ones in my head.Made it thru halloween fine. Then this morning drank my coffee and started feeling bad and strange (aniexty?). That came back up as I was brushing my teeth.Then just sort of lost it. My kids said they didn't feel good. Oh my terror when they tell me that now.So they're at home. Of couse now,3 hours after they should be at school. They seem quite alright.Shared with my husband all my aniexties. His response is there's nothing we can do about it. I guess it may be true. I hadn't taken any vicoden in four days. Had a half of 5 mg. left. He told me to take. And I do feel some what better now. Just wiped out, drained feeling. Does anyone think part of that could be more from withdrawal?I figured that since I was on such a low dose I shouldn't really experience any withdrawal. But maybe not taking any was exasperating all my anxieties. I don't have a clue. I've always operated at a above normal stress zone. Now I feel in overdrive. I've been toying with the idea that maybe I need some type of med. to help me cope better right now. But then I wonder if that's not asking for more trouble. Any insights would be appreciated. Thanks, Shotsy

[jennyfla]

you definately sound like you are in withdrawal.
I used to be on a low dose, and i caught the flu and couldn't take anything.  little did i know, part of the 'flu' feeling was withdrawal.  Everything went into overdrive, all i could do was cry.  I couldn't believe how hard i felt things.  Scares me so much because all this pain i am feeling is only partial feeling, wow, what would the full load feel like right now, i'm scared.
You should start to feel better soon, but be patient and we are here for you.  Congratulations, i'm proud of you!
Lv Jenny

[SHOTSY]

Do you think he may be having like a middle age crisis? Then having some young naive girl stroking his ego just threw him over the edge.Some men love to be idolized. She doesn't know all his faults or down falls. Probaly thinks he's so wonderful. I'm not saying he isn't but hell she doesn't really know him. Here's an idea for you. ANd I have to warn you it is gross...... If he's a skid marker , hope you know what I mean, gather up all his grossest laundry you can find. And have it sent to her.  That can be her first chore she can take over for you. I told my husband when he jokes about cheating on me.  Just to let me know where to send the laundry. Boy, that'll be a wake up call. PHEW!!! Shotsy

[jennyfla]

You are so funny, thank you for the smile!
Yes, he is definately having a midlife crisis, he's the first to admit it.  That combined with a horrible drug habit, never getting used to having three kids and having to share me, and yes, he LOVES attention!!!!
I do love him, and he does love me, but why did he have to do this!!!!!  I cry as I write this, WHY????  I told him this hurts more than he will ever know, and ****, i'm 1/2 numb from this addiction, that's real scarey.
The girl is gone, kicked out of her mother's house once more.  She's out of the county, her mom said.  Plus, i can't kick her ass because mr big coppy man told me not too!
I don't want to let him off so easy, but i do still love him, but this hurts so much.  I don't know if i could ever share myself with him again now.  How could I?
This is awful!
Lv Jenny

[SHOTSY]

Thanks for responding. You are having so much of your own stuff to deal with and your caring for me. You are so precious. I didn't think I'd go thru anything because initially I was only taking 1 1/2 7.5? a day. Then for 20 days I went to 5. mg 1/2 morning 1/2 evening. Still think it could be withdrawal? Well, since my what 2.5 mg I feel a little better so maybe it is. These are unsettling times. Have to be all grown up and don't want to be. At least not right this minute. Thanks girl, Shotsy

[SHOTSY]

We are evidently posting at the same time. If you love him you love. But I do feel love is a choice. I just don't beleive that there is only one person in this world that you can love or be commited to. The key being do you both want it that way. If you feel like it's really worth it to fix it then do what your heart tells you. But it has to be 100% from both sides. Not 50- 50 like most people say, that's half ass. It's 100-100. And tell him he has to decide.

[Witchywoman]

Abbie, welcome to the forum! I'm so glad you posted. I've always wondered how many people read the forum and are silently helped by it, and it is always so inspiring to meet another of our forum family's "Silent Warriors", doing battle with the Dragon.

GJ, I'm so sorry to hear everything you are going through with your mom.  While I am impressed with how much you are taking care of her, I'm also worried that you are feeling trapped by her, and not as able to focus on yourself. Like cindi said, you've got to take some time to really give to yourself, especially when you've got such a demanding responsibility. To be honest and blunt, your mom sounds like she is just so deep into addiction that she is not taking responsibility for her own process at all, and she seems to me to be dumping it on you. I think that is too big a job for you to take on, and not a job that you should have to take on at all. It really sounds like inpatient rehab is where she needs to be, where she would get round the clock support and therapy.  
I remember taking care of my drunk mom, when I was just a kid (age 10, 11, 12)  I remember feeling so overwhelmed and so responsible for her.

Shotsy, it does sound like withdrawal to me.  From what I learned, if you take only one dose a day, you don't build enough of a blood level to create physical dependancy, but with two doses a day, you do, no matter the strength.  

Jenny, My heart goes out to you. I've dealt with the same thing, pretty recently. The rage, and the sadness is soooo painful. Is he willing to finally grow up now? I hope so..

love,
WW

[jennyfla]

Thank you sweetie.  Yes, i still do believe it's withdrawal, especially if taking a little took the edge off.  It really doesn't take much, your body even gets used to a small amount, you still feel it.  I've gone through this before like i mentioned, and other times too before my habit grew.  It will pass soon though if your levels were though, mine always did.  Now i'm too afraid, i'm up to a min of 60 mg at least a day, and i'm scared to go through it, i've touched on it before! OUCH!
The creepy crawlers are the worst for me.  I feel like i'm going to jump out of my skin, and i get so clumsy and have NO patience with anything, including my little kiddies.
I think i will suggest marriage counseling with my husband.  I knew this counselor who also deals with addiction, maybe we could work on everything at once, because they are innerconnected.  I do love him, and i believe he loves me.  I told him he's no friend to me, and that i was glad i had real friends.  You all are treasures!!!
This girl went and told the biggest blabber mouth around, she had no consideration for my husband at all, didn't give a **** whether it got back to me or not, and i'm sure she knew it would.  So the last laugh is on my husband, dumb ass that he is!!!  If he thought he didn't get 'any' before, well it's gonna take a long long time because he gets 'any' from me.  I don't even want to look at that part of his body much less feel it close it me.  Plus, i might bite it off!!!!  (Sorry guys!!!)
AAARRRGGHHHH!!!!  I'm just so mad!  The worst part is, i really am a very decent person, i don't deserve this.  I don't run in circles with hores and strippers, and my husband doesn't either.  This is the midlife crisis from HELL!  I know he's been hurting a lot lately, and I really really try to be there for him and help, but he is just so difficult to deal with sometimes, just out of line with the kids, and won't stand any noise in the house.  I get upset with him because he makes everything so unpleasant in the house when he's there.  He needs to open up his eyes and see what all he really has in life.  I wish he could be grateful for things, but that's not the way he sees it.  
At rehab, they did a 3 part scoring on his personality.  It said that he was sane in his thoughts, a very intelligent person, and in need of a lot of affection in his world.  The amount of women he had relations with before he met me definately shows that he has a problem.  We met when i was 18, he was 23.  I'm just surprised it hadn't happened before this, but maybe it has, now i don't know and that hurts too.
Any man would give his eyeteeth for me, i'm a wonderful person, and I look dam good for 39, and i have a real pretty figure (even after having 3 kids).  He's such a dumb ass because it's not like i'd be 'alone' my whole life, i could find a man in a heartbeat, i get looks all of the time, even with my feelings that i don't look so good being an addict, i still get looks!
Sorry, i'm just so angry right now, my pot is overboiling and i don't know what to do with all this anger inside.  I can't kick his ass anymore, i refuse to touch him again in anyway, not for a long long time, and I refuse to put the kids through anymore like what i pulled last night (very upset for subjecting them to that!!)
Sigh!
Maybe time will heal my broken heart!
Lv Jenny

[littleguy]

I feel awkward about posting this especially since I have no profound advice to add.  But I was very moved by your post, so here are my thoughts nonetheless…  Jenny, the funny thing about hate, rage etc is that in expending all those feelings we often end up hurting ourselves way more than the person it is directed at.  And this may sound stupid but if I were going through this, the one thing that I would really need to do would be to reclaim my house.  Find something, anything that can be meaningful for you…..  I am very ritualistic, so for me, that’s the form it would take.  Everybody is different; it’s your home, find a way to take it back!!  What to do with your husband?  It seems like it is human nature to agonize over change but when the time is right most people know what to do or what not to do.  My thoughts are with you.

littleguy

[jennyfla]

thank you for your support!  What i did was i immediately started cleaning even if it was 2-months ago (i'm so weird)!
It helped, and i will go home and try to stop beating myself up so much!  Thank you!

[katie r]

Oh Jenny. I wish I knew something to say to ease your pain. When I emailed you earlier I had not read this post. I can understand your pain and anger. I lived with a guy before I met my hubby. We lived together for about 8 years and he cheated on me several times. I only caught him at it once...the other times I found out about after we split up. The time I caught him was in our bed also. I was at my brothers house having dinner....he went to the bar and got drunk and brought some slut home. She was heavy and had on those tight shiny pants with her blouse tucked in.....well that's what she had on when she left....she was naked when I first saw her. I was so hurt I can't even describe the pain. I walked out and spent the night at a friends house. The next day, walking back into that house just about killed me.
He never said he was sorry....just said it didn't mean a thing to him...he was "drunk."
I can understand how angry you are. You have every right to be angry. I just don't know what to say to help ease your pain and anger. Flirting is one thing....but actually cheating is a whole different matter. It puts you in a difficult spot.....you have children, 20 years of history together,a house....everything else that comes with 20 years of marriage. When I was unhappy in my marriage and I talked to my mom about it, the only advice she would give me is an old Ann Landers special. "Are you better off with him or without him."
You said something about telling the girls mother that if she came back to town, you'd smash her face in....where is she? Does she not live in the same town or is she back in jail or just out of town.....whoring around with someone's else's husband?
Jenny, I've read your posts here in the forum...and saw your picture. You are  beautiful, wonderful,full of compassion and sweet...you deserve to be happy. Do you think you can ever forgive him for this?
Katie

[IrishRose]

Jenny- I am so sorry to hear of recent horrible developments in your marriage. Whatever you do, don't take on his blaming you for lack of affection, attention, etc. You sound like a strong woman and like you are not buying his ****. It ( his infidelity) had absolutely nothing to do with you, it really is his ****. That in no way absolves him of his abhorrent behavior. If he won't go to counseling with you, maybe go alone? I went through the same **** with my ex, which is one of the many reasons he became my ex. It slammed the hell out of my self esteem at the time of which I had precious little anyway. I don't know what to tell you. Somehow there's a way through. Take care. IR.

[Francoise]

Jenny - the best advice I could give you right now is to repeat the adage that frequently the highest form of action is NO action, and that's what I recommend for you right now. Wait, wait, wait until you've gotten control of your emotions. Descisions based on emotional reactions are virtually ALWAYS bad and wrong. Just wait. You'll know when it's time to make your move.

Francoise

[AnnieS]

Hi Everyone, Sorry I haven't written but what Thomas said was right. I just wish someone would have posted it sooner. I did the rivea after what I thought was 72 hrs since the vicoden but it must not have been long enough . I have been vomiting and sick since. this is the first i was able to read or write. I did consult a doctor, that's who prescribed the Revia. He said I should have given it longer but the cravings for the narcotics were so strong that I did the rivea instead. Talk about sick. Anyway thanks to those of you who responded. I am going to continue with the revia and am going to meetings everyday. Hopefully one day at a time I will slay this dragon once again. Its so hard coming back after so many years of sobriety. Those were the best years I can remember and I want them back. I don't know why it's so hard this time. I thank you again. I did read the other messages and want to let you know that you are all in my prayers. I wish for everyone to succede in their recovery.
Much Love to all of you, Annie

[Abbie]

I'm sorry too that you did not get the advice you needed sooner.
Thankyou for sharing your encouraging words to being clean. I am going to start tapering down on my medication with my Doctors advice and my goal is to be med free by the first of the year maybe sooner. It will feel good to feel normal again, I will try and work on an exercise program for the back pain.
God Bless you Annie, Keep in Touch. I'm not sure what sight I will be hanging out at. My first post here was deleted. That hurt and I'm not sure what I said wrong. Love to you, Abbie

[Shea]

Jennyfla,

I just am catching up on the posts. I am so sorry to hear what turmoil you are in. I first must say I totally agree with Francoise. NO ACTION. It is true and do I know first handed that you need to let your emotions settled a little first. This is harder than it seems I know. But I do believe that if you decide to work your marriage out "YOU" need to set new boundaries. This is maybe an opportunity to reevaluate what "YOU" want out of a marriage. And for your husband to start rising to the occasion as a father/husband.  I do not mean you any disrespect or to offend you. I know you love him and he is your husband. But honey, bullshit is bullshit is bullshit!  And I think you need to address the other issues with him, not only his infidelity. As much as you are suffering, step back and breath. Then make some decisions. Please know you will be in my thoughts and prayers. you have a lot on your plate and hopefully some of the support from your family on this forum can be of comfort.

PS As far as the "panty dropper" your husband was with. My suggestion is don't waste your time on that trash. And believe me I am one to swing first and listen later. But there isn't much you can do to worsen her life. sounds like she has already done it and will continue to do it.

May you find peace
Shea

[jennyfla]

Thank you everyone for caring so much to answer my posts of 'Help'!
Everything is going ok, really!!!  I've done a lot of talking and my husband the same.  He has apologized over and over, and we've discussed every little details and the whys and hows.  Believe me, the disect the hell outta things.  I feel bad for beating the **** out of him, but i had to do it.  
I hope that starting now, we will have a better relationship than we have ever had, for us and the kids.  He's treating me like a queen, and he is being a good daddy.  I will watch it like a hawk.
The slut called his cell phone yesterday asking him what kind of needles to get, and said she was going to the walgreens.  I jumped in the car so fast, drove down there (1.5 miles). and waiting for her while she stood in line.  Then i walked up to her and say hey.  He had no clue who i was.  A complete idiot.  She's met me before to (and by the way, the blow here away in looks even if i am twice her age - sorry had to throw that in).  
He apologize, and i had the chance to tell her how much she hurt me and for her to see the look in my eyes.  That's all i wanting, and i do feel better.  My husband was back home shitting potatos.  He knows i'm fiesty and had no idea what i'd do.
But thank you all for caring so much.
I'm going to be ok!!!!!!!!
Lv Jenny