Right Place for Me? Taking pain pills under doctor's supervision...

[angie_bee]

I am sadly realizing that after over a year of dealing with a chronic and frightening neck injury and the subsequent aftermath of pain and anxiety, that I am physically dependent and also most likely addicted to my medications (namely Vicodin and about 2 mg of Xanax per day). That is just science - your body gets used to the (for instance) Vicodin you're being Rx'd by your doctor....and sometimes "you" worry but it is a necessary evil (or blessing?) in order for me to even be out of bed most days. But I know that if I were to stop or get well all of a sudden, I'd go through bad withdrawals.

So - please tell me - is this an improper forum for me to join? I am terrified of the time when I have to quit taking my prescribed drugs - and I have discussed that fact with my excellent doctor, too - but I am NOT currently trying to kick them. However, I do display signs that alarm me - like stashing "extras" away in case I run out early, worrying about refills even though I know they will come like clockwork (or at least w/in a day of being due)....counting pills, dreaming up (never doing) ways to get a big supply so I don't have to "worry".   *sigh*

So, guys, let me  know if it's "NOT TIME" for me to be here and that's cool. I just know that I belong to the Pain Mgmt group and the Back and Neck pain group - - and some days, when I am trying or very seldomly but sometimes forced to cut way back on my narcotic painkillers for a day or two - the fact that I'll need this support someday is all to real.

So, let me know - I won't be offended. :) Promise.
If I don't/shouldn't hang out here, then I'll see you when the blessed day comes that I no longer medically need pain meds, but that day will also be scary.

Everyone hang in there and be good to one another. Seems like you are! (I just joined today)

Best wishes to all -  angie_bee  

[GoingToMakeIt]

I would be more scared of where the road of addiction heads, than of withdrawals. The hardest and first thing is to know and admit you have a problem. After that, it becomes easier to decide to quit. You say that you are not planning to quit. Yet you are taking more and more. where does that leave you? Eventually, you will be taking tons more, just to get the same relief or effect. As you use opiates, your body will 'produce' more pain so it gets more opiates. It becomes a vicious cycle. Many of us here all started where you are now, legitimate pain issues. As one who has been there, I recommend that you talk this over with your Dr. Be honest about your use to them.
When you are ready to quit. We will be here to help you succeed.

[angie_bee]

I just read your comment on my first post and it brought me to tears. I'm crying as I type this to you. I am addicted and I'm terrified about stopping. I am so scared of withdrawals - I am not going off of the medication anytime soon and I can say that I have stopped taking more than the recommended amount since I first posted on the 12th, but I'm happy to have read your comment. Happy and also it sort of sealed the deal, so to speak, to hear it from a total stranger. I have neck and shoulder pain that is really and truly REAL, but the addiction to my painkillers is real, too. Thanks for your words. I've been scared to come back and check out if anyone wrote anything back. Glad we joined near the same time - are you off of medications or still on them?  (Still crying, I send you a hug back.) angie bee

[mom2c&n]

{QUOTE"""I am terrified of the time when I have to quit taking my prescribed drugs....However, I do display signs that alarm me - like stashing "extras" away in case I run out early, worrying about refills  (or at least w/in a day of being due)....counting pills, dreaming up (never doing) ways to get a big supply so I don't have to "worry". ENDQUOTE}

Sounds like you're addicted and this is the place for you - welcome!  I was doing all of the same behavior, not with pills but with Stadol NS.  I would get the prescription filled and immediately start worrying about when I could get the next prescription filled, how I could get extra and stash it away, looking on the internet to try and find information about how to get it without a prescription, dr. shopping and using multiple pharmacies in the hopes that none of the others would find out.  

Again, welcome to the group!  I just actually joined this board but have been lurking for a few weeks.  From what I can tell, this is a very supportive group of people.  Hugs to you and best of luck!

[kim715]

Anyone wanting help and knowledge is always welcome here so WELCOME.You're right to be a bit concerned about the 'stashing of the pills',and the worry about running out,or wishing you had a huge supply.Those things fall under the category of 'addict behavior'.I'm not to clear about the line between dependency and addiction.I'm an addict and I can only speak about what I know from personal experience.Lots of wonderful people here.I wish you all the best..........Peace............Kim

[TrayCee]

this is an addiction forum, you sound addicted.  So welcome!