Rx'd amounts only

This is not going to be one of my looong post.

What I have learned in the last month or so... is the reason why we all seem to get into the "doing more than prescribed" amounts of this ****.

After a while.. the Rx'd dosage just does not cut it.  Thereby giving us anxiety, mini-withdrawls, and symptoms of why we are taking it to start with.  This post really is for ppl who started with legit scripts.   Truly I know I could "get some" from the neighbord pharmacy if I needed them, but I've got way too much financial repsonsibility and I like spending money way too much to even go there.

Drs know if we take this stuff for any length of time that 3 pills a day are going to lead to more and more..not only of the opium based pill of choice, but of axiety drugs, anti-depression thingies, etc.   I was/am there.   Yet... we try to maintain.

W/D is scary.   Saying good bye to our "friendly pills" is worse than scary.  Thoughts of pain seeping through that is unmanageable is legitimatly another factor all on it's own.

The chase for "feeling good"... well we all know that doesn't last too long... eventually we all need more and we all do (accomplish) less. We all find our own way to abuse these things... myself included.  

I wish I could reach out and touch some of you who are struggling so hard with the decision to stop.   I have no way of getting that effort of stopping to anyone here and say it's not that bad... it's horrible.   (continued)

[chemmonster7]

Yes I started w/legit scrips and would stat counting how long will these last and does my dealer have more? I would get so paranoid I would buy his supply 2 and 3 months in advance. I started at 1 script and ended at 12 any where from tabs soma xanis val sleeping pills does one lead to the other? if you trust you doctor I believe yes do I have addictive personality yes also think it runs in the family mine has a trail of addicts my uncle died of a methadone heroine od isnt that great?My husband hates when I admit i love the high who doesnt want to walk around in your own world!?

[gipsee]

No one here deserves a life of counting pills... running out...going to street pharmacies, buying them on the web for a bazillion dollars.

We all deserve better than that.   We all deserve to be w/o pain as well...The choice to quit has to be determined inside your heart.   Tired of losing jobs, not having money, not being able to function, feeling no emotions, not to mention the anxiety.  Gawd, the anxiety is the worst for me.   Memories of last week are finally starting to fade...but the thought of that alone can throw me into an anxiety attack.

We all found our way here begging for help.   Which means...somewhere in our souls we know the pill-go-round is catching up.  

Lord only knows...if the physical pain is there and you have your script... talk to the Dr. about what to do "in place of taking more and more" to help.  This whole thing has me talking to Drs, and wanting to know more about why these things are Rx'd so freely for such huge amounts of time ... when Drs. Know that after a while the pills truly serve no purpose.   How many people are out there in the same predicament, and how long are they on this roller coaster ride before it HITS THEM squarely in the face.  Or before they do some serious damage to the liver or other organs.  The body is an amazing piece of equipment... it will learn how to heal... once the pains of w/d get over maybe it will even learn how to absorb pain more effectively than these pills...

Do you know that Opiates can actually start to cause PAIN.   I never knew that.  Stop..and see and the aches in legs are unbearable.  Arms, bones, etc.

I am so upset that a Dr. turned Tim away.  I can't even imagine... I'd surely do something to report him.  That's unfair and against every fiber of what being a Dr. is all about. Actually, I'd sue him for discrimination because of drug abuse... I'm so upset over that issue.... documentation of that phone call or visit is certainly something I would do and write a letter.

I'm not on a high horse...honestly, I am hurting just like everyone else.   Although I really have to say I'm feeling much better.  W/D hurts...but you can get through it ...Eventually it all comes down to taking that last pill.  Whether it's C/T...slow tapering...or overdosing on too much.

You guys are just wonderful.. helping whenever..whoever without judgement.  I don't know what I would have done w/o you all...

Well so much for not being a long post.  

Please everyone..if you can't do it alone..don't be afraid to find a reliable Dr. and get some help.  That may not even mean stopping.. it just might be a matter of adjusting doses and doing something for break through pain.  Doing something is far better than doing nothing.

Doing something started when you logged into this forum

XoXo
Gip

[vicaddict]

Nice post hun. I agree on this Dr that tim had to deal with. I mean what kind of Dr would do that? Even though tit has been said the w/d will not hurt anyone..it still is a condition you are suffering. IT upsets me just as much. I would match my ASS in there and have alot to say about it. Or like you said report it to the administrator, someone!
Dr's are there for a reason, and that definately is a medical condition I cannot see any Dr refusing a patient for. Outragiously rediculous! Although it had happened to me ONCE. I was out of meds..and I got scaerd and called the walk in we have that is in conjunction with my clinic, where my Dr is. But they simply said this:
"If it is withdrawels it will not hurt you, but you are free to come in if you would like"
I'm like HELLOOOOOOOOO...I just almost pleaded for help here, and that is all you can tell me is that it will not hurt me??? I never went in..I felt why bother?

Not to change the subject..but the pains in your legs you speak of. Are you speaking of w/d's or do you normally have pain in the legs? I do have pain in my legs alot..specially if I even try to skip that third dose for the day. However...I noticed while tapering now..I have pain in my calves..both of them! And not the normal stiff pain..it is like someone kicked me in both of them. Is this due to the meds?

[gipsee]

Yea... withdrawal from opiates causes deep pain in bones and joints and muscles.

It's part of it... although from what I can see from my experience thus far and read it's temporary.  It subsides after a while.

Also, from what I've read... your Body Mass Index...how much weight we carry has a lot to do with it as well.  Meaning if you are a bit overweight...some of the pain meds don't really get absorbed for pain they go into fat cells and store.

Weight has a huge factor on arthritis and pain in general...but if you are really not overweight...the pain killers have a bigger affect on your body.  It's one huge big freaking circle.

Last week if I pressed down into my upper thigh bone... the pain was intense....it's not as bad today...our bodies do have a way of absorbing pain...the pills mess that all up.  Now it's just a matter of getting back on track and letting my body re-learn how to handle all this

Gip

[vicaddict]

True! I forgot to add that. Well I did gain after my surgery of course. But since I have been on the hydros? My weight has seemed to like triple. I have NEVER weighed this much ever. My stomach is huge as well.

I am hopeing once I am off these, and even with the taper some of that goes down and or away. I know my weight plays a huge role in my arthritis pain in my back/leg pain.

Good point, glad you mentioned that.