Saturday Night Check In

[FLaddict]

Where is everyone??  Hello?? Just Kidding I haven't been around much myself.. I have been reading but not posting much unless someone needs something specific.  I am coming up on 90 days.. and also coming to terms with my unhealthy self.. I may be off of pills but I suffer daily with pain, fatigue, and frustration. I have night sweats now for no real reason.. This weekend I am devoting myself to researching things I can do to get better or at least feel better some of the time. After all I found a way to quiet my addiction, I should be able to find a way to quiet my fibromyalgia. I also decided today that without a doubt I am quitting my job. That place is sucking the life out of me.. They have high expectations of me... unrealistic expectations.. based on the type A former me that was on pills and had a bounce in her step and was competitive in my field.  I am no longer that person. If I am gonna get past being sick I have to remove myself from that toxic environment... I used to get off on people telling me I couldn't do something.. That would drive me to prove them wrong.. Now I just don't care what they think. I need to come first for once. Not their business that I helped build into what it is today. I just have to get the balls to make the phone call.. I put it off all day.. Its hard.. 5 years ago these people gave me a place to go when I was in a abusive relationship and needed out. I moved 1000 miles to start over and they helped me.. now they are hindering me. And at times using me..
Anywho enough about my depressing life right now.. How are all of you?? Please tell me..
XOXO

[lurker]

Quitting a job can be an amazing boost for you.  I'd been at the same great job over 10 years and we had a stressful parting of the ways.  I didn't have a new job when I left but I had to do it.  And I felt so much better the next morning while getting ready for not going to work.  It's been one of the healthiest things I've done for myself for a very long time.   I have a great job.  I just interviewed for another one and when my boss found out they matched the offer I'd been made so I'd stay.  I wasn't looking for a job but was recruited by someone who knows me.  It's hard to quit but it's a fantastic step towards self care.  You spend a lot of time at work and you need it not to be a major stressor in your life.  Knowing that fibro is often worsened by stress, you have to think about it.

[FLaddict]

Yeah.. I have an offer to move to another salon that is laid back.. I need to jump on it though.. I am also taking Ga Guy suggestion and looking into getting my teaching license so i could teach at a hair school if it came down to it. My only "real" job experience is the beauty business and drug and alcohol Prior to doing hair I worked at a inpatient rehab for years I had about 2 years clean from heroin when i took that job..
I unfortunatly have to work.. don't have that luxury..If I wasn't in debt up to my eyeballs it would be different. Hubby is also adding disablity to our insurance plan just in case.

[GA Guy]

trust me when I say that a lot of us on here miss your wisdom. Please, drop by frequently.

[Savas]

Quitting your job could be the best thing you do if you feel that way. There's nothing worse than changing for the better, but being stuck in a situation that insists you act like the old you. Do you have any idea where you're going from there, or are you not bothering with that at the moment. Which may be a good thing for you to right now...

[FLaddict]

Thanks for the tip.. I do have some left..alot of them... I will look that up.. I don't want to take anything that my make the Fibro worse than it is.. right now its managable but from what i have read so far that can change at the drop of a hat..

The zanaflex is helping alot... I have to take 2 on work days but I was able to just take one today and seemed ok.. I just tried not to do much..even picking up my cat can send me into a spasm..

[fishmeal]

Hey you!

Sounds like you are becoming wiser, (than you, how can that be, heehee).  I haven't been here much.  I guess it was time to move on.  I think you are wise to not let the job suck the life out of us "Type A's" and I moved on too, (from my life sucking job).

Believe me when I tell you it's all good now for you at 90 days!  You will feel better and better as life goes on!

Best to you, GOD BLESS YOUR HEART!!
FISH

[lurker]

Steph - sorry you're feeling bad - about the sweats.  Believe it or not, my doctor prescribed clonodine for that and it works (and I'm sure will be very handy when I get to the end of my taper)  I take it at night 0.2mg and it makes a world of difference.  She did a bunch of tests to see if I'm in menopause (I'm almost 44) and am not so she said clonodine has an offlabel use for sweating.  Just like it does for help with w/d.  If you have some, you can try it and see if it helps.
hang in there - how's the Zanaflex working?  Shari

[VOsRose]

I'm so sorry that things are bad for you right now.  It sounds like you've made a good decision in putting yourself first.  You're so young and have your whole life ahead of you...you need to get the pain under control so that you can live life now.  You've gotten clean, which is no small accomplishment, and you deserve to enjoy life.  I hope that the change of pace will help some.  There has to be a solution to the pain/fatigue - I know you will find it, Stephanie.  

For me, the fatigue was worse than the pain when I was sick and before they diagnosed me with Lupus.  I felt like I was 100 instead of 30, you know?  

I, also, was a serious Type A personality.  The pills made me a "Super Type A" for while, and then they kind of eased me into Type B.  Once I got off of them, the old Type A came back out.  It's weird what they do to us, isn't it??

Hang in there and I'm thinking about you and keeping you in my prayers.  You helped me so much when I needed it, and you've helped so many others here.  Your Kharma should be awesome...so keep the faith!  

xoxox
Rosie

[FLaddict]

I would love to help out with the taper plan... I am off to bed now its 1am est coast been up since 730am..  I will look for ya tommorrow here or email me at the address in my profile. I am off for two days so should be able to toss around some ideas with you hun..

I got diagnosed with Fibro after stopping pills, ironic isn't it??  I am looking for nutritional ways to get back on track and reduce my stress levels.. What you say makes sense based on the theory that we Fibro's have central sensitation or whatver its called... all the pain signals get messed up.

[buprenex]

Just reading your post but was actually logging on to get your ideas. However I can see your needing to work on yourself, been helping others perhaps too much. I make this comment, but for me I had been diagnosed with Fibromyaglia. And I am skeptical  by nature but started to believe it myself. I have since gotten clean and during that time I had no symptoms. Since being on Vicodin and then Buprenex I have noticed the same Fibromyalglia symptoms reoccuring. My ability to look back as it seems to be redevoloping Fybromyaglia. I think you may get better you stay away from opiates. I have secured some clonidine, ativan, vitamins and a taper supply of Buprenex. If you like to bounce around my new taper plan let me know. I think you remeber me, I can see now I underestimated Buprenex w/d without clonidne, even at what seems a minimum dose to be addicted. I been testing clonidine dosing. I believe there is a good chance your Fibro symptoms could taper away, and you may still get more energy back. Get a new job before quiiting and think twice about wanting to quit. Take care of yourself and I just want to say you know a lot and it is a treasure to have you on the site.

Sincerely Buprenex

[marcatj]

who cares how they feel?  really... we can't control how people feel anyway - that is up to them.

plus you're not doing anything "wrong,"

again, their feelings are their responsibility... not yours mama.  you got enough on your plate than to worry about sumthin you got no control over any ol hoo...

xo
me

[FLaddict]

Jfrick- I am a hairstylist and make up artist.. Lots of people with Fibro do exactly what your mom does.. I am hoping that I won't have to go that road.. and willing to do everything it takes not to..

MJ-- you are right honey.. I need to stop worrying about them and how they feel.. they don't care how I feel so why should I care about their feelings now..

Josh-- I have always even before drugs been VERY type A... I am an only child if that makes it easier to understand.. and my parents had me very young.. they are only 18 yrs older than me so i was always very independent and got lots of attention for being ahead of the pack. Now I find myself drifting in and out of being that way.. Being that way now just adds to my stress. which makes my pain worse which increases the stress ect..

[Josh26]

I was just wondering what youre personality was before the pills? Was it type A because ive noticed that ive also seemed to drift into a B or so ... i was hoping that it would go back but then again i almost cant remember how i WAS its strangely in a blur.  I dont think that a type A is healthy though but it is benefitial for sales type work ...and i would assume hairdressers have to be selling all the time, (themselves and products) i am also in sales/marketing i own a very fast paced Water Purification Company with 23 employees ..and thank god i have a partner which is a maniac (hyper) and extremely type A...it just sucks that youre finally off the c rap and now youre in more pain.  I will prey for you i'm sorry i cant help if i find anything out helpful i will let you know
Josh

[marcatj]

i've been thru the exact same thing with a few people.... best friends one day, a few years later everything changes....

BUT, everything DOES change.  and they helped you when you needed it.  the purpose maybe, now, of them being in your life is over.

i gotta think that is how the world works...

again, maybe their purpose now has been served.  and soon, another good thing will takes it's place..

regardless, i sure hope you feel better soon girl... sending good thoughts your way...

xox
mj

[GA Guy]

Th best thing about teaching is that the schools usually could care less what you do in your free time. So, you can "freelance" when you feel better and supplement your income. I can that you'd be an excellent teacher from your responses on here. I think the reduction in stress from not having to worry about that job will help, too. My Mom has fibro, and it got much better when she changed to a less stressful job. I pray that it will be the case for you, too.

[jfrick50]

Thanks so much for helping everyone here. Also, my mom has fibro. But she uses the pain patches and takes lorcet like 5 times a day.. and obviously that is not the road that you want to go down. I wish that I knew what to tell you, other than to keep your head up... Thanks so much for helping everyone here... If you don't mind me asking, what type of job field are you in?

[FLaddict]

Thanks you two.. no i think the sweating is from the fibro and that med I was taking.. I stopped it and its better but still sweating.. not to mention its summer in FL... Road I will take any suggestions you sister has to add it to my research. My fatigue is getting almost as bad as the pain.. so its time to do something.. I am gonna work on my diet.. I don't eat junk food really but since I don't really cook I know I am not getting all the things I could be from my diet.. I eat alot of simple things and not nearly enough.. I probably only eat about 800 calories a day during the week.. Its mainly laziness..
Ga Guy.. you are so right about my job.. I do love the career I chose but the environment is too much right now.. I am gonna work less somewhere else and get my 600 hour teacher license. I hear they pay about 25 an hour to teach.. and normal hours too..
I thank both of you so much for being so near and dear to my heart..
XOXO

[GA Guy]

Well, I sweat like Elvis in a white leather suit...but, it's because I'm fat!! I know that's not your problem:) I haven't been on much lately because of work, but you know how I feel about you, Steph. I wish I could do something to help. You know I've tried to get you to quit that job before it kills you. Now, you can get a teaching job, or start your own business and make your own hours. If anyone on here deserves some good karma, it's you dear. I still pray for you every night, and you know that if you ever need anything, I'm here. God bless!!

[road2recovery]

girl- i am so sorry to hear that you are feeling so bad..my sister has fibro, and i will talk to her about what she does..She does go to a fibro center...not sure about the meds ..But i will try to help you if i can..I do know she has good days and bad..
As for the sweating do you think that is still w/d's?? couldn't be, but i don't know here i am sweating and cold and may be for a while we shall see..
And girl post about your life---u need to , u helped so many here, let us help you if we can ok
love u girl
i may call you tommorrow just to chat ok...
r2r