Scared 1st meeting

I am supposed to go to my first aa meeting tonight and I keep trying to talk myslef out of it. My husband is super perplexed since i am doing so well and now I am questioning it too. I think i am just nervous about walking through those dorrs and not knowing what to expect. Does anyone know? Will i have to talk, can i just sit and listen? Actually the more i think about it, i am petrified!
Someone pls give me a little reassurance right now. I would much rather just stay in my comfort zone.

[jlb191]

Hey girl,

I have never been either and i know how you feel.  However, i have heard wonderful things about it.  What i have heard is you do not have to talk and everyone is very compassionate.  Please go.  I think it will be the best decision of your life.  You are very sweet and i am sure you will meet lots of wonderful people who will support you there.  Let me know how it goes.  I am sure someone will come along very soon with  some great advice, but wanted to offer my support to you.  Jeri

[sweatinit]

Thanks, Jeri. Ughhh...i'm scaredddddddddd...lol. Good to knwo I can just go and dont hae to talk, believe it or not I am very shy in a group of ppl i dont know.  how are you doing? good to see you here! Been thinking about you and hoping you're doing well.

[Iwant2Bclean]

I want so much to answer your questions but I am in the same boat as you! It is something I know I NEED to do but stepping out of my comfort zone is almost too much to think about! The hardest part was standing up and admitting I had a problem to begin with which for 12 yrs or so I wouldnt admit to anybody that I ever took drugs let alone that lil girl they thought I still was turned into  a 13 14 yr old ADDICT!!!! Almost 27 now and I found that courage to come clean with all my addictions. Ok if I can do that and you can do that we got this aa/na meeting beat too!!!!

[jlb191]

Doing ok...thanks for asking.  No more opiate party for me.  I am experiencing some wd symptoms again.  Not anything major yet...just stomach issues.  I am praying for you.  I am very shy in a group too.  I can almost say for certain that you will be glad you went.  I am really proud of you for taking this step!  Thanks for thinking of me....I will talk to ya soon.  

[avisg]

I am not being judmentmeal so don't take it that way you just relapsed 11 days ago after only Fifty days clean .I am not trying to put your time down but in the scheme of life that's a short amount of time .You need aftercare you said the counseling was not a good fit .IT IS SO IMPORTANT that you get aftercare plz give this a chance try it out a few times if you need to try a few different meetings in different areas .Just keep an open mind and give it a try .I have tried it WO aftercare it doesn't work long term .You want to give you that best chance on staying clean and aftercare is what it takes .So give it a try ,ok ....Then come tell us what you thought .Again plz don't take this at judgment I just dint want to see you go down the same path many of us have .
avis

[wanttobeclean]

Definitely go!  It took me a year to finally get there, but by the time the first minute was over, I knew I was in the right place.  Each meeting can be a bit different, so if these one doesn't fit, there are many many others.  You don't have to do anything you don't want to.  But if your first meeting is anything like mine, you will find yourself ready to unload and will feel that connection and support we all need.

I totally agree with avis...GO.  Don't let a bit of pride and "I'm doing fine" get in your way.  Now is the best time to go...that way when you are having a rough patch...just like you did a week or so ago, you will have a great support system to turn to (on top of us, here!).  Getting clean is the easy part.  It's STAYING clean that is the tough part.  GO!!!!!!

[sweatinit]

yes, I know i need to go. i just have some anxiety about it, as i had no idea what to expect. Just needed a little push... I trust you guys more then you know and I am not offened easily.

I have showered and going to make some dinner, then i am off. wish me luck and i will let everyoen know how it goes. I appreciate everyoen's support and frankness.

I am headed in the right direction today! go, going, gone...

[vicki595]

You better go Kathy.  OR ELSE!!  And you know what THAT means...LOL

It's one meeting...hopefully the first of many.  It's not at all like what you're thinking.
Just go in,sit down,and folks are usually warm and embracing toward everyone.
So,put on your Big Girl Pants,go,and come back here and tell us all about it.  Ok?

You can do this!

V.

[jstntime]

You had better go!!!!!

Please go, it won't be as bad as you've made it out in your mind to be.  Everyone will accept you like you're already in the club (because you are ha ha!!!!)

Go get your hugs, they're waiting.

bob

[gnarly_1]

hey kathy ...your first meeting may come with a bit of apprehension but push past it
you remember me telling you that I quit pot and alcohol 5 yrs ago in march....I know that because of  A/A meetings I use to go to twice a week for a long time....it dosent take long to get comfortable in one and you will open up after you go to a few ...it is enormously helpful in staying clean....I go to a substance abuse conslor weekly now
but if I start to crave im off to an N/A or A/A meeting without thinking twice you will find it a sanctuary for your sanity going thew recovery ...you will learn so much about our illness and how it effects people ....trust me you will be able to relate to the whole thing and it will be good for your recovery...so dont think twice just go for it you will like it ..good luck and God bless....Gnarly    

[j34]

I know  how you feel my first meeting was VERY scary then when i got there it was so hot in that room!!,You can walk through this and will become help for others one day,I promise,No you do not have to speak and if they ask just say i would prefer to listen unless you have a sudden desire to speak.

I am so happy for you! At first it is very confusing but like anything we learn.You dont' have to do this alone good job in reaching out and asking questions it is the same in the rooms of a 12 step program .You will do great I just feel it.Keep us posted.

[CATUF]

EVERYBODY is (or was) scared at their first meeting.  It's ok to be scared . . . it even helps people to see that you're scared by reminding them of when they first started and why they're glad they did start and kept coming.


Another thing that's helpful about "newcomers" at meetings is it reminds everyone that we're all in the same boat.  We all suffer from the disease of addiction and we need each other to recover.  

You'll hear a saying that "the newcomer is the most important person at the meeting."  I used to think that pure bull, just as I once thought all AA sayings were full of it.  But now I know that it's actually and completely true.  The folks who are long time regulars honestly and deeply believe that they get to keep what they've been given in recovery only if they give it away.  It's the newcomers and those early in recover that are most open to and in need of that giving.

If you go regularly and often, meetings will beging to feel like a safe and familiar sanctuary from the world.  you'll find that you can go to a meeting in a strange city, with people you've never met, who follow a format that is unfamiliar, and yet you feel like you're at home.

CATUF
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