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Scared of withdrawal
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Scared of withdrawal

Hi all. Reading even the old posts has been helpful but Im scared! I have been on 10/325 percs for about 2 yrs. I take anywhere from 5 to 10 a day for a few medical issues. I have told myself every lie there is to justify my use. Well, my doctor is no longer available to me. I have 4 1/2 pills left and I have to stop after this. My problem is that I cannot take off of work to stay home and do this! No one knows of my problem. My family and my boyfriend have no idea. How am i going to get through the next week with 4 1/2 pills and minimal withdrawal?? I do have some Ativan and prescrip sleeping pills. I have tried before to go off and the worst part for me was the sweating, chills and diarrhea. How am I going to do this and work a 50 hour week. Any suggestions?? I really need help!
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18 Comments Post a Comment
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1198664_tn?1368651412
I for one could not do it and work at all. I know some on here claim to but no way I could. I have a job te same way but I just bit the bullet 3 days ago and went CT and I called off work. And I may miss mon and tues as well. If they want to fire me then so be it. If not then oh well. I just cant be this zombie person anymore you know. It just ***** the life out of you and I deserve better than that so here I am on day three and in complete hell but I'm doing it. You can too. About working though. Not sure about that.
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi,
The way I see it, you can either stay on the percs or some other sort of pills and make it to work, or you can stop taking the pills and take the needed time off of work.  Unfortunately there really isn't any way for you to do both, that is unless you are superman.  Stopping the pills is going to benefit you, not only now, but also in the future, so you are better off going thru the process & dealing with the repurcussions before it becomes a bigger problem.  

Best of luck!
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi, is there anyway you could share this with your family?  You might just be surprised that they wouldn't freak out.  I started taking lortabs 10 years ago for back issues, totally legit, had lots of pain, still have pain but quickly my medical issue spiraled into physical dependance, then mental and physical addiction then I had to go through h*ll and since I am hardheaded I have had to go through withdrawals 3 times in the past 10 years.  I don't know your age, I am 45 but I wasted 10 years of my life.  I was a functioning person yes, not many people knew of me taking pain pills but hindsight is alway's 20/20.  Looking back I can see that I became a hermit, lost contact with most of my good friends, gained 15 pounds and was just miserable.  In 20 days I have already lost almost all of that 15 pounds, I feel SO much better...or the KEY word here is that I FEEL again.  I cry, I laugh, I have been angry quite alot lately ;-)  the good news is that I am not numb.
I wish you the very best.  There is no way, no how that I could work any while detoxing.  I could not handle it.  I hope that you can figure out a way to do this.  Your worth aren't you?  Take care! Lyn
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1525404_tn?1291918116
It is the cold and flu season right now so just start casually telling people around that you think you might be coming down with something. Then when withdrawals kick in you've already laid the ground work for calling in sick. And everyone knows the flu can be bad and won't think anything unusual if you're out for 5 days. You only have 4 pills left so let it start now and get it over with. Counting today you'll have 9 days to get past the worst of it. When you go back to work you'll be so exhausted and weak and that can be easily blamed on the residual effects of the flu.

Of course you can't do this alone. You really need to confide in someone.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thanks so much everyone. Im so mad at myself for allowing things to get to this point. I get my scripts legit and I have legit pain issues from a surgery and some herniated discs. Im not sure how Im going to go without the meds but I have to do this. It has taken over my every move. How many do I have.......how long until my next rx.......counting pills.........its too much. I want to feel normal again. I am in my 40s and have a wonderful daughter and the best family in the world. Im ashamed to tell them this and dont want to disappoint them. I am married to a man who is the love of my life but has had drug abuse issues in his family and I know he wont tolerate this. I guess faking the flu is a small price to pay for getting clean. I am at a new job and taking off isnt going to go over too well but if I have to I will. I went out today and got Immodium and vitamens, gatorade etc. Im as ready as I'll ever be I guess. Thanks for listening. It helps. Wish me luck!!
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Avatar_f_tn
You can do it.  I hated counting pills, alway's checking the date, etc. too.  So aggravating to live like that.  I am glad you have the ativan to help you sleep on the hard days.  I will keep you in my prayers..lyn
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1525404_tn?1291918116
As an employer I have a standing rule that aplies to everyone no matter their job title or if it's a trainee. If you are sick then stay home until you're over it. I would rather that someone stay home and get over it instead of feeling like their job is in jeopardy. It is much worse to come to work sick and in no time get everyone there coming down with it. I lose so many dollars because of lost productivity and salaried employees get paid even if their at home laying in bed sick.

I'm sure your boss and coworkers feel the same way. Doesn't matter if you're new there, sick is sick and when you tell them you have the flu they will be glad you stayed home. If they want a note go to one of those little cash and dash clinics that treat minor injuries and illness. You'll have the right symptoms to be convincing.

I don't know, I just don't want to see you stressing over that part of it. You have enough to deal with. You can do this!
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Avatar_m_tn
Well its been 16 hrs since my last pill and I feel terrible. Already in and out of the bathroom, eyes and nose running, sneezing, headache, achey (achy), restless, anxious, goosebumps all over and cold as hell! I have no energy at all. Since its only been 16hrs Im assuming this is gonna get worse. Im not sure I can deal!
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Avatar_f_tn
You can do this. My first 24 hours was a nightmare but it got a tiny bit better each hour after that. Hold on and fight through it. It's a small blip on the radar of life to be sick a few days rather than spend years fighting this battle. You will eventually have to quit one way or another so u might as well get it over with. If u go back now this suffering is for nothing and will have to do it over again. That's what I kept telling myself during the worst if wd's.  I'm so glad I stuck with it. I'm 25 days clean and if i would have caved back then I'd still have to do it. I'm glad it's behind me and I promise u will be too. You've come this far don't back track now. That crappy feeling WILL pass. Try and distract your mind as much as possible. Don't be a clock watcher lol. Just watch a movie, take a drive, read, talk on the phone, post here as much as u need to anything to keep you busy.  It helps pass time and add another hour to your clean time. Pretty soon u will be feeling better and be able to function. U have this thing whipped if you just get your mind right. Tell yourself u ARE doing this no matter what. You will do it. I know it's hard and daunting at times but push yourself. You're stronger than any pill. You really are. Good luck and keep a positive mind set. Now buckle down and get through this part and move on clean and FREE!! You're doing great. Don't forget to tell yourself your clean TODAY. If u say it everyday you'll stay that way. Try not to think ahead, it's kinda overwhelming. Just stay clean TODAY.
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1531526_tn?1330739676
I read all the above posts..there's no way around it but to say it utterly stinks to feel the way you do; I'd nearly rather have the flu than withdrawals!! 16 hours in, that's great. Just know that with every passing moment and hour, you're getting all the poison out for good. All those symptoms at once is just no fun at all. Since I've been there quite a few times, I'd say keep doing the immodium although sometimes that didn't work too well for me, if you have claritin or benedryl for the runny nose it might help a little..If you still have the sleep aids, take them and try and just sleep through the worst of it. It WILL get better eventually, and you'll be so proud and relieved when the worst is over. You CAN deal with it. If you got past 16 hours already, pat your aching back! Keep resting, do what you have to do to sleep and pass time, watch some mindless TV and make best friends with heating pads. Hang in there, and what's helping me with the anxiety of it all is reading all the great posts here. BEST of luck, keep it going, I'll say a prayer for you that you continue to fight this wretched fight, and this too shall pass...slowly and painfully, but it'll be over eventually. Wounds heal all time, lol!!  :) xo
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Avatar_m_tn
Just took an hour long shower...I feel a little more normal but Im sure that wont last. I wish I could just stay in there for the next 3 to 5 days. I have 3 layers of close on and I decided instead of fighting this Im going to bed! Thanks so much for all your support. Its helping me not make a phone call!  18 hours clean and counting.....
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1531526_tn?1330739676
18 hours, woo hoo!! Keep it going. Showers, yes, they work wonders and wouldn't a hot tub be like heaven!!?? But making do with what you have sounds like it's working. Keep it going, get some sleep and you'll have even more hours under your belt! Here's to hoping your sleep is a long and restful one. You're doing great!!!
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1198664_tn?1368651412
I am in the SAME boat as you. Now I am on day 4. Let me warn you. The physical will mostly be gone bungee 4 but the mental is torture. Just torture. If I were to have a gun here I would not like to think...  It's really that bad. My brain is on fire. But one thing klonopin and valum help when you get to my point. Just use it if you have it. The physical is just the first part. Be ready.
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Avatar_m_tn
36 hrs since my last pill. What a night? Tossing, turning, sweating, freezing, oh and the bathroom and I have gotten to know eachother on many occasions. Whatever I put in, including just gatorade finds its way right back out. I had to call out of work. Its a effort to move at all right now but I think I feel a little better. Just gonna chill today, drink alot of fluids and hope tomorrow looks a little brighter. Thanks everyone.
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1198664_tn?1368651412
Wow you did it! congrats. Well you are DOING it. And I can tell you by day 5 and with lots of imodium (immodium) you will be feeling much better. Day 5 for me ends today at 6 pm and I am already pretty sure I'm going to work tomorrow. Hang in there you are really almost out. Watch out for the mental stuff on day 4-5 though itt was a killer for me. FYI. :)
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1531526_tn?1330739676
Hey Back2Me,
Glad to hear you're doing a bit better...and mneedshelp - how are you doing now? In my past experience, the first 1-2 nights (as far as 'bedtime' is concerned) are the worst of the hot/cold, bathrooms breaks (this may be too much info, but I urinate a TON when I'm in the first day or two of wds), etc. It just keeps getting a little bit easier as each passing hour goes by. Back2Me is right about the warning of the emotional/mental stress you'll go through. Everyone is different with all symptoms of wds, but just hang in there. It's not worth taking a step backwards and having to go through all this again. Keep up the good (and hard) work, and keep us posted! Good luck and great job!!
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Avatar_m_tn
Well, here I am on day 3. Just woke up. Sleeping was ok with a little help from Ambien. My back is killing me and I have no energy but I think Im feeling a little better today. The Immodium is helping a lot but all I have put in my mouth in the last 3 days is dry cereal and a piece of toast so I guess thats why. I have no appetite at all! Im staying home from work again today but I am going to attempt to go in tomorrow. We'll see how I do. If I feel really bad Im sure they'll see it and I'll come home. I want to get back out into the world! Thanks so much for all your support. You're all I have since I told no one. Thank You.
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm on Day3 too. Hang in there. I'm hanging in there too.  Same boat, no one knows.
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