Second day of no percs...can I make it last?? I will make it last!!

[On a Clear Day...]

Spent all of yesterday crying...meditating...wondering what the heck was I doing to myself?? I have dabled in pain pills on a rare occasion over the years, but nothing like my current situation. Having access to as many percs as I care to have is not good for me at all.
Have been on vacation and felt I had a nervous breakdown. Everything and everyone gets on my last nerve. Been here for 10 days and took 1-2 percs a day, compared to at least 3 a day at home. I don't like to take a whole one 10/325 as it puts me to sleep, I have grown accustom to taking a third of a pill at a time, and by dinner time have taken 2 to 3. I can see a change in my personality, and my energy level, and I know taking more is not what I want to do. I am a Mother, Wife, Business Women, and what the heck am I doing this for? This has been going on for over 7 months.

I have been reading thru the forum all day. When the thought of taking a perc enters my mind, I do some deep breathing. Also trying meditation. I am determined to get this behind me before I return home. I am lucky to have the luxury to have this alone time to explore, think, regroup and try to beat this thing! My Husband has no idea I am struggling with this. I have been so close to telling him, but I back away. I feel I am cheating on him in some ways. I hate this. My stomach has been so upset this past two days, diarreah (sp?), headaches, wake up in the middle of the night with such leg cramps...I wonder how long this will last? Thanks for taking the time to read this, I feel better just putting this all in writing. Thanks