Hi All, to give you a briefing on my situation here. I have been on percocets 3yrs, stopped 6 days, relapsed, c/t again, stopped 2wks, relapsed, then started only taking 3-5 a day, I have now stopped c/t again, this is day 3 for me. I must say, the pains were no where as bad as the other times! Thank God! Im just sooo tired of keep trying to do this. Its the mental cravings that kill me. They are so powerful. My mind wants to take a pill as we speak, the thoughts are there off and on all day, everyday! Its very hard, but at the same time, I dont want to because I know the misery it brings. But Im still miserable without them. Vicious, vicious, cycle. I am just wondering, will my energetic self return? It sure seems hopeless right now. And the depression is so still there. I know I have read these things take time, but even at 2wks clean, I was still not no where emotionally, or still energy wise. I am now 50yrs old, before this awful pill pool I got into after a surgery 3yrs ago, at age 47 I was so energetic, alive, creative, and self motivated to do things in life. Now, nothing, I cant even think straight, I am not myself, everything about me is phony, smiling, socializing, just everything, furthermore everything I manage to make myself do, it takes soooooo much for me to even cook, clean, or go out to a store. This is horrible, and seems so hopeless.
I really need to know, is it guaranteed that your energy level will return? the clear head will that return, my self motivation, just everything about who I used to be......will I ever get that back? I dont work, so the boredom really *****, and does not help at all, it just makes things worst, even the depression. I want to at least try a pt job of some kind just to get me out the house, and make me feel normal, I think that would help, but there is noooo way I can sign up to commit myself to employment feeling like this. Ya know,....I truly know physically my body is not ready, and mentally I am a mess. I just dont know, sometimes it seems hopeless, but Im still trying. Can somebody give me some ballpark timelines here? I know everyone is different, but just hearing it may help give me the strength, and drive to keep pushing.....ya know. Does the fact that this detox was not as bad, play any part in the timeframe of my recovery, and feeling better at all? Thanks for any support, and God Bless you all.
I have grandkids, so I gotta try reeeeeaal hard to get out today, and do a xmas layaway for them. I sure aint in the mood, but im going to try real hard to get it done. OOOOOOhh this is just a hot mess I am in, when will it at least start to feel better.If I could just get my energy, and my head together I would be so much better. Is this worth it? please pray for me, my entire family depends on me. I feel so lost