Severe Depression and Suboxone

[nohappiness]

I have been taking Suboxone for three years now. I took it for my addiction to pain meds given to me for too long anf too high of a dosage after surgery. Im 65 yrs old. I suffer from severe depreeion also. *** I took Suboxone for about a year and a half, I noticed it helped me a great deal with my level of depression. I stayed on the Suboxone for that reason. I have had shock treatment, every antidepressant made, and 20 yrs of therapy and seeing doctors once a month. Depression wouldnt get better. I now stay on a dose of 12mg a day for over a year now. I find the dose of 12mg a day, no longer helps my depression. I have to take larger doses to ease my depression at all. I refuse to take more than 12mg a day now. I cant afford more either. But the time of feeling like a human being again instead of a rock laying in bed, has ended. Does this usually happen with others on suboxone? I tried to stop taking suboxone last year. I went three weeks and begged to die. Its not the physical pain I couldnt tolerate, but it was the traveling down to hell with depression. I finally gave up and got back on my 12mg dose per day now. Im actually afraid to go there again. What if I dont win the battle to live while going through mental hell of the mental part of withdrawl of coming off of suboxone? The government comes in and tells you all at once, you cant take this medicine any longer, Bang! youre left to deal with it. Why doesnt Doctors get punished for their part in getting so many people hooked on medicine, because they trusted their doctor telling them to take this and that?
Everyone should realize, you do switch additions. Now your hooked on Suboxone!! I wish our country would study mental illness and addition deeper then help the quiet sufferers. People understand the pain with Cancer and people understand that. But, unless you suffer from bad depression, its just another form of silent cancer of the soul.. But, you will be judged lazy, weak, self absorbed, and lesser than, if they see you in that terrible condition. Me, myself, think any of you that has this battle, deserve a medal  for fighting your battle every single day, as I have to. Just praying for help thats not addictive and wont cost so much we cant use it. Thank you for letting me ask questions and complaining. Bless you all out there reading this.

[calamfred]

*To your post* sorry, the " typing gremlins" took over for a minute.
I forgot to add that depressive feelings are so common with withdrawal, and that goes along with your increased feelings of depression when you tried stopping the suboxone last year.
Depression just stinks!

I know from "lurking" here on this community that in addition to the above sage advice there are wonderful people here who will be along with more great advice for you.
C

[calamfred]

As someone who battles depression as well as chronic pain, I can totally relate you your post.
I don't know that it's really the suboxone helping the depression, but rather the " feelings of well-being/euphoria"  that can happen from opiates in general. Especially since you notice youre needing more to help the depression... Which makes sense due to the tolerance issues that occur.

I sometimes don't know which is worse..my pain levels without my medication or my feelings of depression and apathy that can go with it.. I really think the depression is the worst.

Good luck to you,
C

[Gettingalifeagain]

Dr. had a concern with me being on Celexa for depression and taking Subs.  I really hope you can find someone to support you on your journey.  I admit the subs kept my cravings at bay, but I have become dependent on them, and I am scared.  I have to trust the taper process.  You are NOT alone.....

[Gettingalifeagain]

I feel, I am now addicted to these things...fortunately, my dr. has given me a taper schedule, and I am down to 5mg from 6mg, when I started June 13/14.  I also take Celexa for depression.  Sometimes I feel out of touch with my reality, one minute ok,, then tears....(to be cont'd)

[Gettingalifeagain]

Dear NH.  I can identify with you wholeheartedly.....these Subs are really interfering in my total recovery. I was prescribed them after a 3 year period of abuse (not prescribed)..I will send another note, as my system only allows a brief post, one at a time!!

[Sonrissa]

Hi nohappiness, welcome to the forum. There is lots off good advice and support here.  I too am so sorry you are feeling bad. I agree with what you have said. I know you have tried many different antidepressants.  Maybe what you need is a new doctor with a fresh perspective? I also did not know that Suboxone could help with depression. It sounds like maybe your body has built a tolerance with the 12mgs.  Sure there must be some other alternative. I'm sorry but I do not have any personal experience with this drug. However, I do know that it should not be stopped cold turkey. It really needs to be slowly tapered down to as small a dose as possible. Otherwise you will have extremely difficult withdrawals as you have experienced.  There are others on here who do have experience with Suboxone,  and they can give you much better advice, so please hang in there. The weekends can sometime be a bit slow here so it may take a little time.  

Take care, and you will be in My thoughts and prayers.  I wish you all the best.

[Bigdaddy1313]

Nohappiness, I am sorry to hear how miserable you are. You/we are not meant to be unhappy and miserable and I believe there is a solution out there for you. I was not aware that Suboxone was used for depression. I know you have pain and I am wondering if medically if there is a better medication to treat your depression. It sounds like you have been on a lot of different meds. Have you ever saw a Depression Specialist. Sometime or Primary Care doctors treat depression with a shot gun approach. (One medication treats all) Do you get out and exercise or even get some sunshine on your face? Do you have people in your life or are you more isolated? I would suggest that you don't give up and find a doctor who understands you. Sorry if I am not help but please know there are people here who care about you. God bless. BD