Should I consider a 30-day detox?

[southernbelle]

i am taking around 6-8 pills a day.  lately, it's been whatever i can get a doc to give me...not benzos, just hydrocodone and percocet.  my question is....should I consider an in-house detox or something like that?  my insurance will pay for it.  i don't think I can taper, i feel helpless against this stuff.  i cannot function without it anymore.  some of you may be aware of the things going on in my life right now, this has been the most intense time of my life.  my husband knows and is sweet as can be.  has anybody had an expereince with rehab they can relate to me?  will it work?  i'll be labeled forever, won't i?  my boss would lose confidence in me and my days would be numbered at work, i'd lose my job.  any suggestions?  love and peace to all of you.  you guys have been a rock for me.

[mrmichael67]

I would say your well being should be your #1 priority.  A lot of places offer outpatient detox.  They prescribe you meds to take for symptomatic treatment.  That way, you wouldn't have to take a month away from work and your boss might be none the wiser.  If you have a week's vacation, you might want to do that.  Or, be creative and come up with a family emergency or something so you can be home for the first three to five days.  Schedule it around a weekend.  Call out sick for a couple of days.  A 30-day detox would be nice for you, but work is a serious factor involved.  And, there are other ways besides inpatient.

[kebby]

Hi, S.B., first let me say, I read you posting last night and really felt a connection w/ you. I was please to see you still on here today. I thought that maybe since you had your fix for the week, you would be on your merry way! The fact that your still thinking about it and you have the drugs, are great. I would just like to share w/ you what I am going through, in hopes that it may give you encouragement. I live in the Atlanta area, am a wife, and mother of three young children. I have been hooked (accidentally, of coarse) on 10 mg. percocets 6-8x a day, for the last 9 months! I tell you this, because I know where your head is at. They make you feel like a "rock star", or in our case Supermom, and all is well w/ the world! The only problem w/ this is....there is not an endless supply, and your tollerence will keep building to where the amount that your taking now, won't even get you feeling "normal".
If you can realize this, and want to get off the ride, you can!!! For me, here's what it took.I told my husband, and my doctor that was perscribing them. Long story short...she wrote me a script for 77 5mg. of percocets, and actually wrote on the label, "Take to ween". I would not have been able to do it w/out me husband who kept the bottle at work, and only brought home the alotment for the next day. It was a six week very gradual weening. I am on day four of No Pills. I do have a good friend who has been through this, and a husband that would not give me any more, even if I was dying! If your husband is very sweet, he might not be the one for the job. But, it is doable, and now I am learning to relive. I am up and down emotionally, but actually feel better then I thought I would. My husband sees me smile, and asks...."did you get more percocets????" NO! I am just feeling life, and yes, sometimes it makes me laugh. I hope that this post gives you strength. Love your honesty and appreciate your struggle!

[Rex1]

Good morning.

On Sunday November 24th, my wife and I had this discussion.  We were literally flipping through the phonebook trying to find the number for the inpatient detox.

I may have been labeled at my job, but I kind of doubt it.  All I knew then was that I could not continue living this way.  I was depressed and, I had a lot of anxiety, and it felt like the two of them were slugging it out inside my brain.  That was one of the worst days of my life.  I prayed.

It was the stark reality that I would probably have to go into the hospital for 15 to 30 days that allowed me to taper starting the week prior to November 24th.  It was simply two choices laid out in front of me.  Be in the hospital away from my family, away from the hot tub, and everything else I knew was comforting in my life.  Or, take some time off from work, then slowly taper to 0 and, with the help from my wife and the people here, on November 25th I hit 0.  But I was very close to choosing the inpatient route.

Do you have an employee assistance program?  My EAP has strict guidelines about contacting the employer.  In other words, if I'm caught using alcohol or drugs on the job, I can be fired. However, if I proactively on my own contact my employee assistance program and ask for help, they are prevented from contacting my employer, with the exception of a court order or something like that.  Do you have such an arrangement with your employer?

I have never been in a formal detox program -- either inpatient or outpatient, so maybe others here will tell you what to expect.  But I will challenge you with this question:

How do you see this ending?  What in anything that you are currently doing makes you believe that this will end using the current method?  I think what I'm saying is if you may have reached the point where a decisive and drastic measure is called for.  If this results in you losing your job, then of course I would have a hard time saying this is the way to go.  But, if you can do an outpatient program and take eight to 15 days off of work, with the weekend in between, uder the guise of another ailment, then by all means start here.

You know people get sick with other things, right?  Like strep throat, or the flu, or a bad back which requires lots and lots of rest.  And when they do, they miss time from work  - this happens every day. Since you asked for my opinion here it is - I would say something similar to this is your _minimum starting point_.  Take a week or two off of work to devote to this problem.  You'll be happy that you did because I don't need to tell you that the longer you wait the harder it will be.

We'll keep you in our in prayers.

Rex

[Rex1]

I have one another idea I wanted to run past you.

Have you ever considered going the other way with your boss? I am not sure about the relationship the two of you have with each other, but would something like the following work for you?

Schedule a private meeting.  In this meeting, lay it out honestly to your boss. I am not trying to tell you what to say, but if I were walking in your shoes, the conversation would go something like this:

"Joe, I think you know that I enjoy working for you, I have been productive for this company, and am completely dedicated to my job. But recently I have run into a major problem, one that I never saw coming, and unless I get it fixed now, eventually I will be useless to you and useless on the job. I did not know this could happen, nor did I intend for it to, but it did, and now -

I really need your help..."

You can fill in the rest of course, but only you can answer the question of how your boss would respond.  I will say that you might be surprised -- the vast majority of people have a kind soul, I have found, regardless of the exterior they portray.

Just an idea...

Rex

[needhelp1]

hello All,

just wanted to stop in and say hello this morning. Well last night i amitted to my fiance of my problem and took her to a meeting with me. It was very refreshing. Lastnight i actually was able to sleep. i dont know if it was all the days of little sleep building up or the fact that i came clean with my fiance. Night 4 was a good night. Hopefully i will be able to say that about all the other nights to come.. I am keeping all of u in my prayers.
A

[coswathy]

I'm not sure of my advice to you on what technique might be successful, but I do know that a person can quit a chaining habit even on a day in which they 'don't want to'...as to a label...even the ONE on High would be impressed by such a grand act..that is to become stronger by making the choice to pursue your own individual talents, unaided by chems, and the humble wisdom thus gained....as to those around you...it's a good bet they would be very, very impressed.....go ahead get labeled...love coswathy

[WifeofAddict]

HI,
I read your question...and felt compelled to respond.  In my experience with addiction (having many family members who are addicts), I have come to believe that part of the addiction is the lying, or hiding of the problem from people around you.  I know it must be hard to tell people what you are doing to your body...but from what i seen...it only helps the addict...when others are let in to the "secret".  If you feel you need to take time off work...you should definatley do it.  I don't know what your boss is like...but i can tell you from all the stories i have heard with workplace and addiction...that employers are on the most part very understanding...and committed to helping you through your recovery.  They cannot tell others who are employed at your work...under some confidentiality act.  If they do...you can sue them for breach of confidentiality.  Well i live in Canada...and i know that if my husbands employer blurted it out...we could sue him...don't know if the same law applies where you are.  Also, if people are going to judge you based on your addiction...then those are the people you don't need in your life...especially right now.  My husband and I told everyone we knew when he came out with his secret....and now he is in a 21 day program in-patient thing...and everyone is calling me everyday to see how he is abd to extend their support.  If anything it is getting annoying!  We never thought we would get this response.  We thought people would start drifting away from us....but the opposite has happened...they are coming around more.  So i think we underestimate people sometimes...especially when it comes to our asking for help.  Think about it.  If someone came to you and told you they were addicted and needed your support...would you judge them?  I am guessing not.  so why would someone judge you.  The only people that would judge you are those that have their own secrets to hide and are jealous that you have the strength to help yourself.  Think about it.  
Just thought i would give my cent worth.  Hope it made sense?

[hippy]

hi belle wish you all the best today and in the coming year/
as far as detox, on of the reasons i never wanted to go was because way back when, i was a single parent and i did not wan anyone to have a record that i was a drug addict and i did not want anyone useing aginst me as a way to take my children  away
from me. like an x wife or my x's parents.
there os a book written by barry longyear and it is about his experence with a 60 day detox from drugs at a place in minn.
called  saint mary blue.
and that is the name of the book  -SAINT MARY BLUE-
BY BARRY LONGYEAR. he was a prescription drug user.
it  is a very detailed book on his experence.

i guess in the end it is a descion you have to make for yourself.
it would be nice to find a place where you chidren could be with
you during the ordeal.

take it lite and keep posting we all love ya and our hearts go out for you, we all know how hard life can seem to be sometimes.

peace  hippy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!your freind michael

[lisabet]

Hey sweetie - I really have nothing to add to all the excellent posts above; just want you to know I'm sending good thoughts your way.  Just take it a day at a time. I myself am still stuck at 5 vics a day; can't seem to do any better, but I'm trying not to be too hard on myself; and I don't want you to be so hard on yourself either.  Your good heart shines through your posts, and you obviously have tons of friends here who love you.  Hope you make the decision that's best for you. I know how hard it is to give up those little "buggers". Hopefully, one of these days we both will get tired of the aggravation and "kick them to the curb"...(sort of like a bad relationship!)...smile.  I'm ashamed to say if I had to choose between a Brad Pitt look-a-like or a bottle of vicodins, I'd choose the vicodins (without even thinking about it)....Now-THAT'S what you call pathetic!...smile.  Love, Lisabet

[theGolden1]

If you "come out" to your boss and everyone else .... plan on being the poster child for addiction on for a long time to come.  On the other hand .... there are many people hooked on perscription drugs and trying to keep it a secret. Your problem is a common one. You often say you are afraid of getting fired or losing your job. It would be better to be on unemployment and have your soul back. Just my two cents. I don't think you are happy with your job ... oh, as far as detox, where there is a will, there is a way ... ps: I need to take my own advice. Thanks to all the good people on this board and all the testimonials I have read in the past month .... I cannot in good faith go from ultram to vicodin. I am terrified. So I will sit in limbo until I recieve the inspiration to attempt my own detox from ultram ... Belle, you are way ahead of me. Good luck on your plans ..... Goldie

[Rex1]

My wife calls Brad Pitt too much of a "pretty boy".  Besides, he's a Hollywood star -- you know what that means?  He probably comes with his own Vicodin, plus a network of suppliers! ;-)

If you're going to pick someone famous, at least pick someone who is in good shape -- Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt are highly overrated.  If I could hire the personal trainer of any of today's Hollywood stars, or better yet swap bodies with one of the stars, I would pick either Vin Diesel (without the tattoos) from "the fast and furious" or "The Rock". However, my month-long detoxification has me feeling more like a modern-day Barney Fife. (I moved up from Aunt Bee!) I guess next I'll shoot for Goober!

Knowing that I have now drifted completely away from the subject of addiction, let me complete this post and just say this -- how hard can get possibly be to stay in shape when you are a Hollywood star, with a personal trainer for each section of your body, and executive chef to cook your meals and of course lots of cash for all of the latest supplements?

Lisabet, it is good to hear from you and I truly hope that you can gather together the toughness to get to 0.  Let me know if there's anything at all I can do to help.

Barney

"There's just three of us here in Mayberry.  There's the sheriff, then there's me, (and pulling his one and only bullet out of his pocket and holding it out) and "baby" here makes 3!"

[Rex1]

Hey Goldie, it is good to see you posting today. Sorry to hear that you been unable to taper any further.  Will be with you when you ready to take that next step.

Rex

[lisabet]

Hi Goldie - isn't it peculiar how one person will get hooked on one thing (in my case - vicodins) and other drugs don't even appeal to them? I've taken ultram in the past and it didn't phase me; ditto to benzos (valium, xanex, etc)...hated them! Then I got my hands on those nasty little hydros, and it was instant love!  I guess it's in our chemical make-up (or whatever it's called) that makes us indifferent to one thing and dependent on another.  I first tried to taper (in my ignorance) using darvocet one day and vicodins the next, then darvocet, etc....didn't work! As long as I have the vicodins, I won't give even consider anything else; totally obsessed with the vics!   You're probably very wise not to try to taper from the ultram with the vicodin. On one hand, it may work - worst scenerio: you'll get hooked on the vicodins (yuk); it would probably be just trading off one addiction for another. I wish you the best. Love/Peace, Lisabet

[alone]

Hi. Just figured out I posted my first comment to far down the list (physical withdrawl). I would deeply appreciate it if someone would go to that section and respond. Thank you so much.

[lisabet]

Rex - you are a nut!  This has been a good day. Hippee inspired me with one of his posts, and you gave me a much needed laugh (I can picture you setting there in your Barney Fife get-up, typing away!)...smile.  But hey, Barney's cool - full of **** and vinegar, you know? Gotta love his spunk! Actually, I agree with your wife about B.P. - he's just the first one that came to mind (although if he comes complete with his own vic supply, that makes him all the more appealing!)..ha.  Vin Dinsel's Ok - but I'll take Denzel Washington or Russell Crowe (like I have a choice, right?)...but a girl can dream...smile.  About the personal trainers, chefs, etc. I think I stated in another post that it would be great to be a celebrity - then we could check into one of the "posh Spa" type rehabs the celebrities use. Oh well, back to subject (and reality)...smile.  I was hoping to get to 0 vics by New Year, but I don't won't lie - I don't see it happening, so please don't be disapointed in me. I'm holding steady at 5. Your offer of help is appreciated; but you must realize, you (and everyone else) help me everytime I log on and read your posts.  The difference in the way I feel now from a month ago is as like day and night. I don't feel so alone in this struggle anymore, and believe me that's worth a million bucks. You inspire me every day, and I hope things are getting easier for you. The holidays are about over - that's probably a HUGE relief for many, including myself.  Take care of yourself, Mr. Fife - tell Goober and Andy "hey"...Love/Peace, Lisabet

[lisabet]

Hey there - saw you just posted. I gotta go pick up my son, and will respond as soon as I get back (as I'm sure others will do if they're on the board).  Lisabet

[alone]

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. I am so thrilled that you guys are here. Looking forward to hearing from you Lisabet. And Rex...Praise GOD for your 33 days!!!

[lisabet]

hey - I'm back. When I saw your username, it really pulled on my heartstrings - alone is exactly what I felt when I came here a little over a month ago (see above message to Rex, where I expressed as much) - you are no longer "alone" - SO many great people on this board that are so helpful. Along with Rex's posts -search the archives and read Thomas (of the "recipe" fame), Bodymechanic, Hippee, Bmac, Witchywoman, Southernbelle, Suzie, and SO many more - they've all been a blessing to me.  It definitely sounds like an "involuntary" tapering you're going through right now. Vicodin is my unfortunate drug of choice, and it can really get a hold on you. You have taken a really big step of #1: to speak out on this forum and #2: to get the ingredients of the Thomas recipe. It's funny you mentioned the phosphorus; I too couldn't find a vitamin with this, and asked Thomas about it - just found out today this can be found in bananas; so there you go...smile.  I am currently trying to taper from a 12-a-day vicodin habit (down to 5 a day), and I know how hard it can be.  I also tried Darvocet but it didn't do a thing for me (mentally or physically).  The L-tyrosine in the Thomas recipe has really seemed to help; taken with the B-6 to help absorb it, it really helps with your energy and "brain fog".  I honestly think it's the #1 thing that has helped me taper the little bit that I have.  I wish you luck, keep posting and reading. You're not "alone". Love/Peace, Lisabet

[Rex1]

Here it is in its entirety.
Rex (thanks goes to Thomas)
-----------------------------
Thomas Detox Recipe

PLEASE NOTE: I am not a doctor, simply a long-time Rx opiate junkie who has had many opportunities to develop a way to detox. This is a recipe for at-home self-detox from opiates based on my experience as well as that of many other addicts. It is not intended as professional medical advice. It is always wise to make sure none of the recipe ingredients or procedures conflict with medications you may be taking. Likewise, if you have any medical condition, disease, allergy or any other health issue, consult your doctor before using the recipe. Thanks, Thomas

This recipe is designed for cold turkey opiate detox. It assumes that you can get about 5 to 7 days away from your job or household responsibilities during which you can sleep, veg and act as miserable as you feel. Opiate WD mimics the symptoms of the common flu, so, if you need a smokescreen, hide behind a bad case of the flu.

If you can't take time off to detox, I recommend you follow a taper regimen using your drug of choice or suitable alternate -- the slower the taper, the better.

For the Recipe, You'll need:

1. Valium (or another benzodiazepine such as Klonopin, Librium, Ativan or Xanax). Of these, Valium and Klonopin are best suited for tapering since they come in tablet form. Librium is also an excellent detox benzo, but comes in capsules, making it hard to taper the dose. Ativan or Xanax should only be used if you can't get one of the others.

2. Imodium (immodium) (over the counter, any drug or grocery store).

3. L-Tyrosine (500 mg caps) from the health food store.

4. Strong wide-spectrum mineral supplement with at least 100% RDA of Zinc, Phosphorus, Copper and Magnesium.

5. Vitamin B6 caps.

6. Access to hot baths or a Jacuzzi (or hot showers if that's all that's available).

How to use the recipe:

Begin your detox with regular doses of Valium (or alternate benzo). Start with a dose high enough to produce sleep. Before you use any benzo, make sure you're aware of how often it can be safely taken. Different benzos have different dosing schedules. Taper your Valium dosage down after each day. The goal is to get through day 4, after which the worst WD symptoms will subside. You shouldn't need the Valium after day 4 or 5.

During detox, hit the hot bath or Jacuzzi as often as you need to for muscle aches. Don't underestimate the effectiveness of hot soaks. Spend the entire time, if necessary, in a hot bath. This simple method will alleviate what is for many the worst opiate WD symptom.

Use the Imodium (immodium) aggressively to stop the runs. Take as much as you need, as often as you need it. Don't take it, however, if you don't need it.

At the end of the fourth day, you should be waking up from the Valium and experiencing the beginnings of the opiate WD malaise. Upon rising (empty stomach), take the L-Tyrosine. Try 2000 mgs, and scale up or down, depending on how you feel. You can take up to 4,000 mgs. Take the L-Tyrosine with B6 to help absorption. Wait about one hour before eating breakfast. The L-Tyrosine will give you a surge of physical and mental energy that will help counteract the malaise. You may continue to take it each morning for as long as it helps. If you find it gives you the "coffee jitters," consider lowering the dosage or discontinuing it altogether. Occasionally, L-Tyrosine can cause the runs. Unlike the runs from opiate WD, however, this effect of L-Tyrosine is mild and normally does not return after the first hour. Lowering the dosage may help.

With breakfast, take the mineral supplement.

As soon as you can force yourself to, get some mild exercise such as walking, cycling, swimming, etc. This will be hard at first, but will make you feel considerably better.

PLEASE NOTE: If you have any medical complications, first check with your doctor before detoxing to verify that this regimen is safe for you.

[alone]

Thankyou for your reply. I agree with you about the Darvocet. it may be a Pain Releiver, but it sure isn't the same as the Norco, or even Vicodin for that matter...No where near the feeling I had with those. So that seems to confirm what I read elsewhere on one of these boards...that Darvocet is milder than Vicodin and Norco. I will try the Bananas. (What does the Phospherous do any way?) I started the "Thomas" regimen this morning when I got back from the Health food store. I went in to the store with my list and the Guy was very helpful...although I couldn't tell him WHY I was buying all this stuff. I guess I feel Kind of okay, but pretty lethargic, and absolutely LAZY. I have a 2 story house and just walking up stairs to this computer is a chore. I took my last Darvocet this evening...I wonder what's in store for me tomorrow. I hate suffering. It is good to hear that you are down to 5 a day. How long will you be at that level before you cut down? What do you do...stay at a certain level untill you arn't suffering any more and then cut back a small amount each time? God Bless this Forum...and all of you.

[lisabet]

In answer to your question, I started tapering from 12 a week to 10 a week, then 8 a week, then to 6, then 5 - where I've been stuck at a couple of weeks.  Every week, it was an effort, but I stuck it out (except for Thanksgiving week, where I relasped for a couple of days)...went back to 6 then 5, where I've been a couple of weeks.  Tried to go 4 a couple of days, but went back to 5 where I've been ever since.  I'd like to say I'm planning to cut back more, but at this point, I'm afraid I'm kinda stuck at the 5 per day. It sounds like you're doing pretty well without any major withdrawals; for me I think it's more of a mental crutch than anything.  As for the phosphorus -I'm not really sure about what it really is; supposedly it just complements the l-tyrosine and b6. If you've taken the last of your darvocet and vics, what you're basically doing now is the "cold turkey" thing, which, according to some of the forum members, is the best way to go.  Refer to Rex's post above, which details Thomas' recipe in detail - hope it can give you some relief.  Keep posting, and don't be afraid to ask anything you need to ask.  Believe me, just sharing with others in the same predictament helps more than you know.  Will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.  Peace/Love, Lisabet

[vikequeen]

I am sorry to hitch a ride ion this thread but I can never post a question of my own the ask a question portion is actually missing. here is my deal: I set Jan1 as my quit date, I have ultram that I will take sparingly I have klonopin and clonidine but and this is a BIG BUT When will I get over the Want for the feeling? I am tired of paying 8 bucks a pill, docs are getting suspicious so I can't really get them from docs anymore and don't really want to I am dead broke overdrawn in the bank and owe my whole paycheck out, I have not paid Dec mortgage and am one month behind on car payment. BUT I still WANT that feeling. When will I get over that? I have no choice anymore cause I am out of drug buying/getting options I am ready to quit in the emotional, financial sense but I still don't wanna give up the feeling, My detox won't be bad at the least I will take 5 7.5 a day when I have more I tend to take more but lately its 2.5 in morning and 2.5 in evening. I have never exceeded more than 10 -12 per day. So I know my detox will be uncomfortable but not hell, I just want to know that when you reach the point that your ready, why am I not ready to give up the feeling? I am crying as I write this cause life was so good while I had my 5 yrs clean I had a baby the light of my life. I wanna be happy without them and know I can be. Someone please give me some insight on how you dealt with giving it all up even though you did not want to give up the feeling? I am still chasing the feeling , the good warm fuxxy feeling that I can still get on 2 7.5 vikes. Love Baddgirl

[southernbelle]

thank you, thank you, thank you to everybody.
group hug!  i love you guys.  like hippee says, take it one day at a time.  thanks again to all of you.  one day i'll be able to help somebody else through this, i know i will.  i'm here for you guys, too.  nobody is alone, we have friends here who care.  i'll stay in touch.

[alone]

today is a very very bad day. I can't stand up for more than a few seconds without getting dizzy and feel as though i am going to pass out. I tried to take a shower and had to get out quick before I fell out. My heart is POUNDING so HARD!!! I am extremely weak. I could'nt even raise my arms in the shower to assist in getting the shampoo out of my hair. This is BAD today. The only thing I am good for is the couch. Thanks for listening.

[lisabet]

Hey there - I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time today. Sounds like the withdrawals are pretty nasty. If I remember correctly, you're dependent on vicodins/norcos, right? Which are opiates. From what I've read on this forum opiate withdrawal isn't dangerous , whereas benzo (valium, ativan, etc) withdrawal actually can be quite hazardous to your health. So even though you probably feel like you're dying, I don't think you're in any danger. Still, that doesn't make it any more pleasant, does it?  A lot of people here swear by hot baths; Rex is always hitting his hot tub. Wish I could be more help. I'm too big of a "wuzz" to go cold turkey; keep taking just enough vicodin to keep the WT's at arms length. Supposedly, the worse of the physical symptoms lasts about 4 days.  Keep posting. Sending good thoughts your way.  Lisabet

[Bodymechanic]

There is another alternative to the detox and tapering. I was on about the same dose of drugs that you are taking. I felt trapped with no way. Then I started taking buprenex.  This is my 3rd week of buprenorphine and I feel great.  I sleep well at night and I have plenty of energy during the day. It does not get me high but I have no craving to use other drugs.  Unlike any other drug I have ever used, I seem to need less rather than more as the weeks pass. I started out using 1.5mg a day and now I am using 1mg a day. Next week I will be dropping to .8mg a day.  I feel just as good, if not better than I did on the higher doses. Even more, I have been able to reduce my dose of blood pressure medication.  I have even cut way back on the amount of antidepressants I was taking.  I just don't need it any more.  I intend to keep dropping the dose to .6mg a day.  

This may be a way out for you.  There are 3 places that I know of right now doing buprenex.  There is probably many, many more that I am not aware of at the moment.  It is working for me, I dont see why it won't work for you or anyone with an opiate problem.

[And]

If anybody has Dr. G. T. (pain management) in N.Y.C. I'd appreciate your input at ajberry.nyc.com  Thanks.

[teeitup]

Sorry for the bad day, do your best to stay cut back. If you have to take a few extra don't beat yourself up, just try and take a little less each day. I hope you get better soon, be carefull with the hot baths if you feel weak. I'll be thinking about you!

teeitup!

[alone]

Hi. Thanks for your support. It is several hours later now, and I'm not as weak as this morning. The couch is still the best place to be right now though. Taking the "Thomas" recepie (without the Drugs). UGH!!! I hate this thing I have done to myself. I definately do not want to do THIS again. As I said...THANKS!!! I appreciate all of you.

[sharonver]

Thanks for the advise on posting at the top of the thread.  Maybe someone can answer my questions.  Also thank you for your concern, I know we are all in the same boat and my wish for us all is to be free of drugs, happy & healthy!
s.

[lisabet]

Hi there BM - I just read your post to SB above. I'm so glad to hear the Bup is working for you, and I think it's fantastic that you're already tapering down with it.  I've been thinking about ya and wondering how you were.  So glad to hear about your progress.  SO happy for ya.  Love/Peace, Lisabet

[suzieneedshelp]

You must take your blood pressure!  opiates decrease it and withdrawal can raise it excessively!   that can be very dangerous!  
Plz be careful!
Suzie has you in my prayers!

[suzieneedshelp]

I am very wearey of telling your boss.  Do not take that risk just because it seems the honorable thing to do because unfortuately  in the real world it may come back to bite you.  I have a dear friend who was honest and was badly punnished for it.  It is none of their business if you do your job well is it?
You know very few of us addicts can taper without help of family or friend holding our meds.  If we have access to it we use it!  That is how i relapsed during my first detox.  Now i am totally out and am on day 3.  I am taking ultram to lesson the withdrawal effects and then i wil taper it in a few days.  
***Lizbet thank you dear fo r the compliment above.  I do not belong on a list with those special insightful people like Thomas or hippee.  how r u doin gurl?  E-mail me if ya like!  ***@****
Peace ,
Suzie

[lisabet]

Suzie, dear, please don't underestimate yourself. Your posts are always inspiring to me, mainly because of your honesty and your willingness to expose your weaknesses, along with your strengths. I see myself in so many of your posts, and to be able to identify with someone like yourself makes me feel less alone in this battle. For that, I admire and thank you. Love/Peace, Lisabet

[lisabet]

Hey Suzie - you've got mail!

[1st24]

Hello.  Consider this a new thread, they won't allow a new question.  I try to be honest with myself.  But I still think I'm an addict.  I truly have pain that keeps me from being able to function without the narco my doctor prescribes to me.  But, of course my tolerance has built up, and I got a 2nd scrip from my other doctor.  But I couldn't fill that one, because now the pharmacies link up to each other, even different chains.  So now I'm being forced to wean off.  And now I really know that my back pain and my knee pain are real!!  I started to question how much pain versus how much drug need.  I think it's about equal.  I was taking between 10-12 10mg. narco a day.  Now 4-5, day 2.  Tomorrow, hopefully 2-3, and so on.  No choice, out of doctors.  I only go to 2.  I tried to go without any opiates - some of you may remember me from Sept-Oct.  Made it for about a month, but ultram didn't stop my pain.  I don't know what to do.  I feel so anxious and depressed and guilty.  I feel like a junkie.  I feel so all alone.  My husband is having surgery next week, and I'm so scared as to how I'll be able to function well enough to care for him and my home and our business.  A very stressful time, which is why I tried to get off these pills a couple of months ago, because I know this was coming.  But I couldn't do it..mentally and physically.  The holidays, all the duties I had to perform, I needed not to feel this terrible pain, and couldn't afford the depression and lethargy.  So here I am again.  I feel as though I'm a disappointment to you all, and to my husband who helped me through before.  HELP!

[suzieneedshelp]

Thank you once again!  You have made my day!  Giving back is wut it is all about as we recover.   That is how we stay clean.
Suzie

[kebby]

Good morning new friends, I am on day 6 of opiate withdrawl. It does really help to know that I am not in this alone! I weened all the way off, so the physical symptoms were very mild, but now I am faced w/ severe depression and lethergy. I miss my "happy pills" as I use to lovingly call them!!!! I am on a new antidepressant (Lexpro), that helps. I need to find a therapist today! I am now faced (smack in the face) w/ all the old problems, that are still there!!! Any feed back on weather I need an addictionologist or just a regular therapist. I told my dh that I thought an addictionoligist would be best. I just couldn't fathom going to a marital counselor who has never been married! If you know what I mean!? Peace, Keb

[sharonver]

I wrote in another thread, and didn't get any responses so I will try here. I have been detoxing from Methadone the past year, I started at 65mg 15 years ago few years later went down to 30mg tried to detox at 5mg a month, got down to 15mg then I had to go back up because I couldn;t make it in work.  A few years later (in a better frame of mind) I tried again this time my clinic suggested trying 1mg every other week I was OK until I got down to 6mg old familiar withdrawal symptoms coming back! My question is will it continue to get worse or pretty much stay the same and what will happen when I get to 2mg and stop? I am determined to see this through! Anyone out there been through this at a slow decrease? Help me please...

[Rex1]

I know the feeling. it is like you went down thw wrong road a long time ago, and you have just now made it back to your wrong turn point, realizing that you still have the rest of the journey in front of you. I tend to lament over the wasted time on that wrong road, but you know, things happen for a reason.

My advice would be to take one step at a time. You may want to get a little more time under your sobriety belt, then make that decision. In the meantime, take whatever precautions you can not to relapse. You find lots of info here...

Way to go!!! Your winning!

Rex

[hyjack]

Methadone is a very hard med to quit.  For me, it was the most difficult to get off.  The withdrawals from that were horrendous, and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

Luckily, at my worst point, I was prescribed Buprenorphine.  It has literally changed my life.  However, it is not available everywhere.  It has been approved in the form of Subutex/Temgesic, but finding a pharmacy to stock it, is another dilemma.

I am a huge advocate in seeking an addictionologist.  This type of doctor does nothing but addiction and from experience, has the knowledge to help you get off addiction medication.  They can offer you a treatment plan to suit you.  Everyone is different.

I went from 50 mg. of meth down to 5 in 3 weeks.  It was no picnic!  I lost 14 lbs.  When I was at my wits end, I saw my addictionologist.  And basically, saved my life.

Good luck to you, and keep us informed.

[mrmichael67]

Email me at ***@****.

[ChiTownGirl]

Kebby, Can you share with us how the doctor prescribed the weening process for you?  I am interested in weening myself from a daily norco habit and need to follow some sort of a weening program.  Thanks a bunch!   CTG.

[kebby]

Ctg, Hi, I will try to give you a very brief version, and today, I am on day 7!!!! I went to my perscribing dr. I very calmly said I no longer wanted to treat my pain w/ percocets, because I felt that I might (ha, ha,) be starting to get "dependent" on them. She said great, I will slowly ween you! She got out her calculator and figured out how many I would need to take just one pill less each week! In other words...6 pills for 5-7 days, then 5 pills for 5-7 days, etc. down to one, then half, then half, every other day. I absolutly could not have done this on my own! My husband put the doses on an excel spreadsheet, and then printed out a little calander for me. He held the pills. I of coarse, tore up the house looking for them, when it got uncomfortable. I found the bottle, one time in his car glove box, and stole four! He figured it out, and from then on, he kept them at his office, and only brought home the next days dosage in a sealed envelope w/ that days name on it. I begged and pleaded and he was very firm w/ "noway"!!! That's my story and now I am on day 7 and have great support. I did promise myself that this would be the only time that I would do this myself, and that if I couldn't, I would go into a inpatient rehab.! I have three small children and this was not appealing! This loop has been great. I feel pretty good, but do have the anxiety. I have found an addictionologist, and have an appt. on Monday. Because now that I am clean I have to learn to relive, and to stay this way. Yes, I could alway go to a new dr. and get more, but I have realize, that I am noe "scoring", I am only "cheating" myself!!! I wish you the best. If you need me directly plz. write. ***@****  Lets all really have a Happy New Year!!! :0}

[Rex1]

Way to go!

Rex

[flashk]

Well its a new year and I have 18 days sober thanks to everyone especially Rex ...If I can do it, anyone can do it. I remember I dreaded the thought of living life without the pills. This I think, was the turning point. Realizing that I REALLY couldnt live life WITH the pills. The pain from the detox is highly uncomfortable but it was better after 3 or 4 days. Sometimes I had to take life one hour at a time but hrs turned into days and days into weeks. I am so grateful to be finally free of that horrible full time job chasing that feeling of euphoria.  I have had sneezes lately that lasted longer. Congrats to you Rex on your 30 plus days and everyone else on deciding to fight the fight head on.
BJS

[Rex1]

Thanks for the kind words. All credit goes to and your higher power!

What a 2003 it is going to be!

Rex

[FrankVaio]

I just read your posting about your Nov 24th stopping. I to could not be away from my wife an three kids. So I decided to do it at home. It's only been 4 day's but I got almost 2 hours sleep last night and hoping for 4 hour tonite. I've been taking oxy's for 5 years never missing a day. ($83,000.00 worth) not a small amount of money I've spent. I have everything everyone wishes for, a nice house, big workshop, hot tub, good job, biggest TV made, fastest computer, biggest monitor, ect, ect.ect but all that **** means nothing if I'm not happy with myself. It really helps to hear everyones stories. I've been to NA on thursday and going again tonite. I can build, install, and fix almost anything so I know I'm a strong minded person. The hardest thing to fix is myself.
Thanks for your sharing,
The hot tub helps alot so anyone going through this if you don't have one go to any gym and use anything you can to sweat.
After your off drugs you will have more than enough money to buy one and enjoy a natural high.