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Sick and Tired

I am new to this forum so far I love it. I go to pain management and have so many things wrong with me physically that it would take a while to list so I am in lots pain. The doctor put me on 5 Narco and 3 Opana ER 30 mg. a dayIhave been on them 2 years now. In Feb. my son was robbed and murdered which brought my stress level up which in turn increased the amount of pain I have. Sometimes when I am really sad I will take 2 opana instead. Anyway I am just sick of taking pills so after finding this website I have decided to taper off and stop pain pills all together I am going to try acupuncture and explore other options these pills can not be good for my liver. I know my son would want me to let my light shine be happy and help others. I need all the support I can get you all are such caring people. So I guess for the next week I will stay with 1 opana and 4 narcos for one week then go down 1 more narco the next week then maybe three quarters opana too, should I take it that fast or what do you kind people think please help me I am determined not sure how to use this website yet but I will figure it out eventually. Thanks to everyone.
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Avatar universal
Hello Robin,
  "...those pills are satan..."

      Thank you for that analogy.  It is very true.  Those of us who have experienced substance addiction know well how being dependant on a drug to make it through a day is nothing short of slavery, or in other words...bondage.  Being in a state of bondage is not God's Will for any of His created children.  If not God's Will, then who's will could it be?  Robin, you nailed it.
    For those of you who are seeking God's help to rid yourself of a substance that has been controlling your life and stealing your freedom, know that God has heard our prayers and will restore us back to the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health that satan wants to rob from us and keep us in bondage.  
   I just now came upon this site after looking into other ones and decided to "adopt" this one because I get a sense that many of you have included prayer and the importance of God's role in your overcoming the grasp of addiction and eventual healing, and that is also how I operate. Today I will start my taper from oxycontin (slow release) 40mg/day and oxycodone (immediate release)90mg/day. (Then, I will tackle ambien & methylphenidate or aka amphetimine).
    It took me 10 years of experiencing a slow but steady decline in quality of life such as being a sharp thinker to dull/uninterested, doing activities for pleasure to abandoning previous interests in exchange for spending more time in bed, having dreams & goals to not caring about anything...even future consequences and having a life after work (which also suffered) to going straight home and neglecting relationships in exchange for more time alone in bed.  
    So, now, I have reached the point of saying, "No More!" To the stronghold of dead end addictions and wanting more than anything to restore my health in line with God's will for me.  I will be praying for those of you reading this now.
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Avatar universal
I had to have major dental work done...gum surgery with six stitches.  The surgeon promptly handed me a script for Vicodin.  This was after I had several months clean.  I was SOOO tempted to fill it; even when to the pharmacy, but was told (as many other times before) that they were "out of stock."

That did it.  I took it as a sign from God, went home and ran the script through the shredder in my office.  I just took Advil, Tylenol, used bags of frozen peas on my swollen jaw, and got through it.

What's done is done...don't beat yourself up, but realize that the those pills are Satan and they will use ANY excuse for you to take them.

Keep going honey...one foot in front of the other...

Hugs,
-Robin
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Avatar universal
Hello everyone I am hanging in there a little shakey but still on plan I am a little tired so I think I am going to go lay down but I am not in pain right now. Hope everyone is doing good.
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Avatar universal
Do not feel so hot today I have a bad toothache I am addicted to sweets that is something else I am fighting because I have abnormal glucose my doctor didn't say diabetes just abnormal glucose anyway it could lead to that I am taking antibiotics for my teeth but they are still hurting really bad from time to time. I need to suck it up. I don't want to go backwards here still on track today last night I had to take an extra narco because of the tooth and jaw pain but it is not hurting this morning so far. Anyway back on track. That was just one time if it had not been so painful I would not have done it. I am not going to let feeling guilty about it bring me down and I hope I didnt let anyone down here if you have ever had a bad toothache you know how bad it hurts. Anyway the main thing is what I am doing right this moment and that is talking to you guys and how much medication I took this morning and that is the amount I had planned for this week. Thanks again for being here for everyone I will check back in a bit.
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271792 tn?1334979657
I am so happy to hear that you are feeling better. Stick around and continue to receive support and help others along the way. that's how it works. If you want to change your screen name then go to the bottom of this page and hit the "Contact Us" button. they can change your name right here on your old account so you don't have two accounts (which is a violation of their guidelines anyway). Good luck honey and I really hope you stay with us. You inspire the newcomers and us old farts as well!!!
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Avatar universal
I am going to have to change my user name soon I am not feeling so emotionally drained as I was when I came here just a short while ago all of you sweet people have given me hope. Also I don't feel so alone anymore you people understand  where I am coming from I will be sure and look that up on Wikipedia so I will have a better understanding of what I will be dealing with. Thank you all so much. To those of you just joining hang in there just like everyone told me you will get lots of good information here to help you get through this hard time in your life. Plus you get a bonus by getting to meet some really good caring authentic individuals who could become lifelong friends. Isn't this a blessing I hope we all make progress today take care.
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495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
You are doing great so keep going with your taper plan.  The whirlpool bath sounds wonderful today!!

We are happy you found us so keep posting!!  Dont worry about spelling or punctuation!!  We can decipher anything!!!
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Avatar universal
As you taper down, and definitely once you are off the meds completely, you might have pain for a while.  It isn't real pain...its called "hyperalgesia" and its basically your body's opiate receptors screaming because they aren't being fed exogenous chemicals.  

For me, it was leg aches and some back pain...but it went away.

You're on your way...w/God's help no one can stop you.
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Avatar universal
Well I am on week two not a lot to report about my situation yet I was able to sleep until 9:30. Nose is still running. Back is hurting but not like it was last night the hot bath really helped. I hope everyone is sticking to their plans and the ones that are on the fence about it will make the right decision I believe if you have found yourself at this website than you really want to quit else you wouldn't be here. I hope we all are able to make the right choice and get this poison out of our system once and for all. Krispy did you say you used withdraw ease if you did did it help any? Krispy thanks for sharing. I am not real good at texting I know you have all noticed I leave out a lot of punctuations I hope it is still understandable. I know there have been times I shake a little and hit the wrong keys so I just don't take the time to do it. God bless everyone.
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3197167 tn?1348968606
Your plan sounds GOOD!!  If you can take it slow and stick to your taper plan....freedom awaits you!  Having that whirlpool spa in your home?  Heavenly idea!  Massage, Epsom salt baths, and the whirlpool jets will DEFINITELY help you.
I don't know if you are aware of this, but long term use of opiates can actually increase our pain.  It's a condition called "opiate-induced hyperalgesia".  You can look it up....Wikipedia has a great article about it.
I found myself in that condition before I quit but didn't know what it was called or that I even had it until I found this forum.  And INITIALLY, as we taper and then totally get off the opiates, we usually have what is called "rebound pain".  It takes each of us a little while totally off the opiates to re-assess our TRUE pain levels.  We have opiate receptors up and down our spine and most all of us have increased back pain when we taper down and/or cold turkey quit.  As the receptors get used to NOT having opiates on them.....they settle down.  Our bodies quit producing our own natural endorphins (endogenous morphine) when we are on opiates for a period of time.  There are things we can do to increase the production of endorphins, but we'll save that for another time.
The runny nose and the back pain are both symptoms of reducing opiate intake......let us know how you are doing.  We're traveling this journey with you, Terry, and here to help~
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Avatar universal
Connie I was so focused on me that I forgot to ackoklowlede your friends passing and her sons most traumatic experience it must have been a very sad time I pray everyone is getting better. I am sure though that having a friend like you in there life at a time like that gave them some comfort.
Robin I wanted to say thank you for setting a fine example, stopping and praying for me is exactly what Jesus would want us to do.

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Avatar universal
Connie and Robin you have no idea how much it meant to me that you two took time out of your day to reach out to me and what you both said was so inspiring it gave me even more hope and determination to do this.
Wanted to let everyone know I will be starting week two tomorrow and intend to follow directions and take it slow I will stick to my plan I thought of a couple of more things today that might help and thought I would share them with everyone. Today I was looking in a catalog and came across a whirlpool spa that hangs over the side of your bathtub it has levers to adjust the jets in what ever direction your pain is in and right now mine is my back. It cost 79.00 which is doable for me right now thank goodness. Also I remember back in the nineties I went to the gym a lot and became friends with a massage therapist  back then it was 30.00 for 30 minutes but well worth the money. It is so good for you lots of health benefits it gets your blood circulating better and helps push toxins out of your muscles so they can be eliminated quicker. Now I realize we don't all have the money to be able to do this but if you have a significant other or a friend maybe you could ask them to give you a back massage just 5 minutes can even make a huge difference or it has for me. All one has to do is warm the lotion up in your hands start at the low lower back with both hands stretched out thumbs touching and with as much pressure as one can tolerate just push straight up the back swipe across slowly four or five times and I promise it will help. When I make it through this I intend to give back you are so right about the fact that there are so many people reaching out for help and hope we can make a difference like you said save a life. Now I know you don't know me very good yet but actions speak louder than words and I pray that I take the time when I have detoxed to come back and share my experience strength and hope with others just as you generous people here do. I will keep everyone updated on my progress right now I just have.a runny nose and like I said earlier my back hurts it is getting kind of late I think I will go take a hot bath with Epsom salt I bought today. Thanks again forever grateful --- Terry---
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Avatar universal
Hi honey:

Your post brought tears to my eyes as well.  I stopped right then and there and said a prayer for you.

You're a very strong soul, and I admire you so much for what you've been through.  You are 100% right; your life is far from over, and you have things you need to do.   Heck, you might save a life right here on this forum, just by sharing your experience, strength and hope!

I'm pulling for you honey.   If tapering feels like the right thing, then you go ahead and DO that.  For me, I just wanted to get the darned thing over with, so I just jumped off before my body had a chance to adjust to lowered doses.   Not gonna lie to you; it was brutal for the first 4 days, but then it was just plain old miserable for the next six...and on day 10 I turned a big corner, and could see the light.  

It's not like in the movies, where you're clawing at the walls and freaking out. It's just a lot of unpleasant symptoms all together.   Truly, if I were to be honest, the entire thing, while different, was not any worse than some really terrible flu-bugs I've caught.  (I remember having something like the Hong Kong flu in high school and I was incredibly sick for 3 weeks.  Withdrawals weren't as bad as that, to be honest.)

Keep your faith---I too, believe in prayer.   This is a good place, and I have absolutely NO doubt you will reach your goal.  

Hugs,
-Robin
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3197167 tn?1348968606
Your last post touched me deeply.  You're a SURVIVOR girl!!!  YEAH YOU!
The song your son dedicated to you brought tears to my eyes as you shared your memory.  I had a very young co-worker/friend that was killed instantly when a jet ski hit her in the back of the head and her 7 yr old saw it happen to his Mama.  Her hubby played that song at her service.  Tears flow every time I hear it.

You have His strength in you and you will be the best, grace filled witness in that courtroom come August!!!  I promise to pray for you....please keep posting with any questions or symptoms.  But most of all, to let us know how you are doing because we care~  Much love, Connie
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Avatar universal
I remember when I was googling everything I could to help me through detox,I came across withdrawl ease. It sounds like it could be pretty good because it used with a taper plan. You sound like you have a great plan in effect! You also have god in your life,that's the biggest help you're going to have right there. He never gives us a challenge we can't get through. Keep posting and let us know how you're doing! xoxo Krissy
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Avatar universal
Thanks  to all of you for being of service to your fellow man. Clean that is what I needed to know now what everyone has been saying about tapering makes sense. I guess it always did put it was like a puzzle I just couldn't quite figure out when how many how long then I read your comment "the slower the better that  we have to give our body a chance to adjust to level we just dropped to in order to move on."  I can do this only I don't have to do it alone I've got God and you guys. I also remembered back in 2011 I went through chemo and it didn't kill me it felt like it was going to everyday lost half my hair weighed 98 lbs. nothing taste good. The only way I made it through that was the thought that my work here is not done my children and grandchildren needed me I kept my eye on the prize for a whole year. I am cancer free now. My doctor at that time only subscribed me 30 narco and 20 Valium 10 mg. a month I never ran out of medication. I have the discipline if I can get through that I can do this of course it is a different kind of sick symptom wise. Nonetheless I felt like I was on the brink of death each and everyday if it had not been for my finding a support group of people like you I would not have made it through it. There were so many different symptoms over that year and each one would scare me and make me think I should throw in the towel but I would go to that website and always come back with an answer about that symptom it would always turn out that other people were having the same symptoms so that would keep me going a while until I needed them again I always found answers. Also my son used to always tell me how much he loved it when I shone times that I would get ready for my day wake early write out prayers sit in silence in the quiet before the traffic got to going along with all the other noise. He was proud of me. One time he called a radio station and dedicated the song by Bette Midler "the wind beneath my wings" to me it made me fill so good to think I could be his hero. Well I have got to become his hero again. Please pray for me there is power in prayer I need all I can get. I know I will have to find alternative options for pain and maybe learn to handle it mentally ill just have to do the foot work and find a way. You guys have done this I can too. When I say I it is we I really mean because I know I can't do it alone not without God this website and my doctor if need be. Before I forget I am pretty much able to stick to what I am prescribed from time to time I will take two opana instead of one especially if I hear something about my sons murder trial coming up in August i want to be able to focus and be clear minded when I get to tell this man and woman what type personality and human being they took from  our society I want to be able to describe him with the grace and eloquence I believe he deserved. Thanks again everyone and please pray for me to have the strength, courage and all the abilities needed to fight this demon.  God bless you all. Slow and easy three days before my final drop I will start something similar to the Thomas recipe it is called withdraw ease and another bootle forgot the name. One for day one for night the ingredients are the same as the Thomas recipe maybe not same dosages but same. Take Los of hot showers and baths hyland  restless leg syndrome stay well hydrated good multivitamin.
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Avatar universal
Thanks  to all of you for being of service to your fellow man. Clean that is what I needed to know now what everyone has been saying about tapering makes sense. I guess it always did put it was like a puzzle I just couldn't quite figure out when how many how long then I read your comment "the slower the better that  we have to give our body a chance to adjust to level we just dropped to in order to move on."  I can do this only I don't have to do it alone I've got God and you guys. I also remembered back in 2011 I went through chemo and it didn't kill me it felt like it was going to everyday lost half my hair weighed 98 lbs. nothing taste good. The only way I made it through that was the thought that my work here is not done my children and grandchildren needed me I kept my eye on the prize for a whole year. I am cancer free now. My doctor at that time only subscribed me 30 narco and 20 Valium 10 mg. a month I never ran out of medication. I have the discipline if I can get through that I can do this of course it is a different kind of sick symptom wise. Nonetheless I felt like I was on the brink of death each and everyday if it had not been for my finding a support group of people like you I would not have made it through it. There were so many different symptoms over that year and each one would scare me and make me think I should throw in the towel but I would go to that website and always come back with an answer about that symptom it would always turn out that other people were having the same symptoms so that would keep me going a while until I needed them again I always found answers. Also my son used to always tell me how much he loved it when I shone times that I would get ready for my day wake early write out prayers sit in silence in the quiet before the traffic got to going along with all the other noise. He was proud of me. One time he called a radio station and dedicated the song by Bette Midler "the wind beneath my wings" to me it made me fill so good to think I could be his hero. Well I have got to become his hero again. Please pray for me there is power in prayer I need all I can get. I know I will have to find alternative options for pain and maybe learn to handle it mentally ill just have to do the foot work and find a way. You guys have done this I can too. When I say I it is we I really mean because I know I can't do it alone not without God this website and my doctor if need be. Before I forget I am pretty much able to stick to what I am prescribed from time to time I will take two opana instead of one especially if I hear something about my sons murder trial coming up in August i want to be able to focus and be clear minded when I get to tell this man and woman what type personality and human being they took from  our society I want to be able to describe him with the grace and eloquence I believe he deserved. Thanks again everyone and please pray for me to have the strength, courage and all the abilities needed to fight this demon.  God bless you all. Slow and easy three days before my final drop I will start something similar to the Thomas recipe it is called withdraw ease and another bootle forgot the name. One for day one for night the ingredients are the same as the Thomas recipe maybe not same dosages but same. Take Los of hot showers and baths hyland  restless leg syndrome stay well hydrated good multivitamin.
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Avatar universal
If your doc is out of town, they would still have someone available for you to see. Call the office and make an appointment. It will probably be easier with a different doctor anyway. They will have a fresh perspective. Just be honest, they've heard it all and worse. If you're ready to taper down, the doctor will probably support your decision. They don't want you taking more meds than you need. They can also provide other alternatives (acupuncture, physical therapy, other meds, etc.). I'm new to this forum and haven't been on your meds, but from what I've read the slowest tapers are the best for your body.
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3197167 tn?1348968606
Welcome girl....I hear how desperately you want to get off the pain meds and also how much you want to help your daughter.  You are feeling a bit of a "time crunch", no?

Several things came to mind as I read your posts.  If you have a lot of things wrong with you physically as you said above, getting a doctor on board with a tapering plan would be the safest thing to do.  Forum policy doesn't allow us give you taper suggestions.  A taper correctly done is very SLOW...slow enough that once you drop your dose, you have allowed enough time for your body to adjust to the new dose before you drop again.  Otherwise, you are just in a state of w/drawals all the time thereby dragging out the uncomfortable symptoms.
Many of us were unable to taper because we already weren't taking pain meds "as prescribed", we ran out early, and if we had pills in our possession, we just took them.  Do you have someone that could help you with a taper?  Are you currently able to stick to the prescribed amount and schedule?  
Since you want to go help your daughter, why not seek your doctor's counsel, lay out a plan you feel you can stick to and go from there?  If you are on/prescribed 3-30 mg Opana ER's and 5 Norcos a day that would be a lot to cold turkey.  
It's great that you want to get off the opiates, but perhaps the desire to go to your daughters home in 3 weeks is putting undo pressure on you.  Let us know what you think and how you are doing today~
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Avatar universal
My support group is God and I have friends that I talk to that live in other parts of the state I live in that are in 12 step programs. Please Sara is your story on here somewhere I need to be there for my daughter and grandchildren. I just need to get over being scared of hurting I really think I could go cold turkey but I have enough left to taper off just need to do it in three weeks if I don't have to go cold turkey and feel terrible pain then I think I should taper. I am almost out of narco so I will just be able to eat probably one in the morning and one in the evening and then just continue with lowering that one opana. Anyway how did you do it? Isn't this awful that our mind gets in such bad shape we can't even decide how to go about something like this. I promise you I am determined just need to here some others schedules. God bless you all it is very kind and Jesus like what you all do here if you people can do it I can too I will be 59 my birthday I don't keep up with it much anymore anyway I am 5'4 and weigh 112 pounds I drink lots of water so I don't have a lot of fat for the drugs to store in. Want that help my detox?
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Avatar universal
The thing is I want to do this as soon as possible my doctor is out of town and my daughter needs me to come help her in Oklahoma in the middle of April. She has 4 children all under the age of eight with one set of twins. She is a hands on mom and her husband  is gone a lot with work he is becoming a doctor so she needs my help so she can take a break sometimes. You know how us women can get in a rut lose our identity and etc. when were continuously taking care of others she has been doing it for about 7 years now. I have to help her. I know you can't tell me what to do but could someone just write out a tapering schedule just so I might get the right idea of what everyone is saying like how slow to go down or is taking just one a day if I can handle it ok? What schedule did some of you use please and thank you.
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Avatar universal
Thank you for your comments I realize that when the numbness wears off the pain from losing my son will be there. My son was in the Navy he loved our country and God he would light up when he would speak of God and the Bible I believe my son's spirit is in heaven. Also I myself am sure God is in 1986 I had a huge spiritual experience that forever changed the way I think a definite transformation just like the bible speaks of.
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10996785 tn?1432812977
Hey and welcome to the community. So sorry for your loss. Can't even imagine having to deal with losing a son. It is great that you have decided to live on instead of down in your life. You're right, now is the time to begin living free of substance. Going forward it's important to always remember why you chose this path.

As others above have noted a doctor on board is the best way to go. Devise a plan that includes a taper for now and aftercare for later. There will be down days to deal with to be sure. If you haven't tried counseling, it would be a good idea to get into it. It has helped me tremendously in dealing with my life's problems. Your also right that your live isn't designed to handle abuse like this. Neither is your mind. It's time you live your life clean and sober and learn how it feels to be free once again. Wishing you the beast....ike
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Avatar universal
Dear Lord you poor soul.  I cannot imagine the pain you have gone through.  My heart aches for you...

It's a very easy thing to take an opiate to numb ourselves from emotional pain.  Too easy actually.  So many famous artists died this way; they were talented but tormented and used drugs to buffer the internal agony.  

I congratulate you on your decision, but also think that if you are going to do this, you should have a talk with your doctor.  Have him/her taper you down; we can't possible give you medical advice (nor are we supposed to.)  

After-care, in the form of a support group, is going to be critical for you.   As your body and mind clear up, you will be hit with a torrent of emotions and it is very, VERY important that you have healthy tools and resources available to you.    

Keep in touch and good luck...
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