Sickness-Withdrawals

[CBS426]

I'm writing on this topic, because I'm hoping it may encourage some of you. I am by no means judging one single person! Everyday I log on here, and I read thru everyone's posts. Over 90 percent of the posts are people struggling with sickness. Go figure, because typically in order to live these good clean lives, we have to get violently sick. I've withdrawn more times than I can count. Not once did it get easier. INFACT, for some reason- each withdrawal got worse and worse, until I had myself convinced that there was no way of my body taking it one more time. Fortunately for me- my body took it one last time (I pray), and I've remained sober for 7 months. Here's what I found in my battle with heroin, and then eventually methadone.... You have to get sick! Even if you take something like suboxone- you aren't suppose to take that first dose until you're in severe withdrawals. There's no way out of being sick. Being addicts, we ofcourse are in search of a "magic pill" to make us well again. Just the thought of being sick taunts us day after day. We live with this fear that never seems to go away. I just want to maybe give some encouragement to those going thru this, because I PROMISE once you fight that devil- that fear subsides. I still have drug dreams. I still have to fight my addiction each and every day, but now I fight it with proof that I can win. I believe that being so terrified of the sickness is what stops most of us from getting clean. I'm convinced that that's part of our diseases plan. I've taken a lot of risks in my life to get another fix. I've stolen, I've lied, and many other unthinkable things. When you're feeling like you just can't go thru any more pain, you feel like if you don't sleep you're going to shoot yourself, and your body aches so bad you'd rather be dead please picture the life you want. Picture waking up day after day with no need to put a substance in your body. Picture Christmas morning, when you can finally afford to buy your loved one's presents! Picture yourself helping another just like yourself. They have a saying in some of the NA meetings I attend, "fake it 'til you make it". That saying has helped me. Even when I felt there were times I didn't want it- I faked myself out. One thing we all are- master manipulators (even to ourselves)! Hang in there please! I believe that everyone can do it- every single person CAN do this. I don't believe that every person WILL do it. If anyone needs a little extra encouragement, please feel free to message me. Please please please don't give in to this beast! Each and everyone of you it worth it- you deserve a beautiful life!

[finallyfoundit]

Thank You....I need to read this each and every day.  

[merrymaria]

wow...thank you very much from the bottom of my heart.

[czer25]

on a day that i am struggling, that was a great post to read.  thanks.

[Kova]

wow, those were some truly well chosen words!  brought tears to my eyes.  you have a natural gift for putting it so clearly.  keep posting.  i am sure you words will be an encouragment to many.

love and light,
kova

[ochooked]

GREAT post CBS ---- You certainly have a talent for telling it like it is -- -very powerful and persuasive piece of writing.  You sure convinced me :)  If I were still using I would find great strength in your words.  There are just so many advantages to being clean --- I can't even name them all.  All the best.

[laurel453]

great post !