Slipping down the slippery slide...

Hi guys, I feel like I'm going to relapse. I'm on my third day off norco 10 and although physically I'm doing remarkably well, now the mental cravings are starting to kick in. I'm sitting at home after back surgery feeling useless. I can't find a job and even if I could I couldn't work it because of the bad back. My business is down in this horrible economy to the point where my wife now bears the most of the financial burden making me feel even more useless. She and I aren't getting along well and to be quite honest she doesn't make me feel any better. Everything just feels so incredibly bland right now and at least when I'm dosed things don't seem as gloomy. Why should I sit at home feeling bad when I can feel good? Can you blame me for that? Hey at least I'm not like my father who as an alcoholic spend more time having fun with his GD drinking buddies than with his family.
I'm sorry guys, I just feel myself slipping down in a hurry and feel so tempted to call in a prescription. I hope you understand!

[rightsaidfred]

Hey Norcovic - just get through today, thats all.   I feel the same way and I am going to see a movie to get my mind off of it for 2 hours.   Who knows, someone told me that the cravings are a short thing and if you switch your mind to something else, you can really surprise yourself.

Make it to day 4 - I am going to see the fighter myself.

[norco_no_more1960]

Why should you not phone in a prescription?  I think that you down deep inside know the answer or you wouldn't have asked the question.  You've made it through some of the worst days.  I'm on day 8 so not very much further down the road than you.  For me by day 4 I had stopped the profuse sweating, my runny nose was getting a little better.

But also for me, day 4 meant more anxiety.  I think that's what you are feeling.  Do you have any ativan, xanax or valium?  I have taken 1 ativan a day for the past 3 or 4 days - in the evening.  That's when the anxiety is the worst for me.

Have you looked at the Thomas recipe or the amino acid protocol?  

I got some tonic water and bananas today.  They are helping me.

Good luck.

Lisa

[10356]

as long as you have a perception that can be called in you are going to put yourself through this.. If you are serious about getting clean cancel the script. take the temptation away.. The blandness you are feeling is normal. help out with what you can around the house this will help pass the craving and get some feel good endorphins pumping. A good attitude a Fighting Spirit will take you far. as for your wife she probably is a lil stressed and as drug addicts we put our needs above others. maybe if You show good will things will turn around. I wish you the very best with your recovery and a job.. lesa

[norcovic]

No I'm on zoloft for anxiety which works wonders. I'm not anxious I just feel down. I have been on xanax for about a year as well. Funny you mention xanax because on my last norco I realized I was out if xanax so the day before Christmas I called some xanax in knowing I would "need" it to come off of norco. Of course the xanax didn't make it on time so I'll only have it by tomorrow. Maybe I'll feel better when I have the xanax. Right now though, I find myself justifying every excuse I can think of and do you wanna know something else, my darn back is starting to hurt again!

[IBKleen]

Your addiction is screaming at you right now, I am not at all surprised that your back hurts.

The pills will not make you feel any better and when you run out...you will feel 100 times worse than you do right now. It is not worth it.

All you have to do is hang in there a few more hours and go to bed. I will bet things will look better in the morning.

[norcovic]

Up until the surgery, I'v been very functional in and around the house. Doing dishes, cleaning, vacuming, making the bed. Since the surgery I've completely felt useless, not being able to do anything. I still can't bend nor lift. Can only drive small distances.
Thanks for the support guys but I'm weak when it comes to this.

[10356]

we are all weak when it comes to this It is our resolve that makes the difference.. if you can go for short drives maybe you should do this.. anything but giving into your addiction. Watch a movie read a book fix something to eat. believe the pain is also a rebound pain from the wd and the surgery.. use ice with heat alternating Ice helped a lot for myself. as IBKleen said you will only feel 100 times worse when you run out again..

[norcovic]

I know you guys are completely right. I know I'll feel even worse the next time around. I'll look into that Thomas recipy in a little bit. Honestly, I'm not in the right mindset at all right now.

[IBKleen]

And guess what? You have been talking about taking a pill for an hour now and you haven't so keep on talking.... See? It works.

[norco_no_more1960]

Like I said before, I'm only a few days further down the road than you.  Someone suggested I get some tonic water and bananas.  I did that today and they are really helping.  Something about the quinine in the tonic water and the potassium in the bananas.  I've drank half a two liter bottle of the tonic water and eaten two bananas.  I'm doing  so much better.  Try it.

Instead of focusing on what you can't do, why don't you try focusing on what you can do.  One thing you are doing for yourself is post on this board.

Make a recovery plan.  Include only teeny-tiny small goals for now.  Think about your life off of the pills.

Remember,nothing changes unless you change.  You've made a change for the better.  Don't forget to tell your wife you love her.  Try to find some small ways to show her you love her.  

Lisa

[dominosarah]

You need to give yourself some time to heal also.  You cant expect to get up and lay cement.  Using isnt an option here.  Focusing on your recovery is.  The pills will do nothing for you except beat you up mentally.  Are you getting any type of recovery care?  You said you could drive small distances.....I know this is tough but you can do this.  You are in control of you now, not your addiction.   Keep talking         sara

[norcovic]

Lol, I wish it were that easy.

[norcovic]

Okay, you guys are perfectly right. I have to make some sort of plan if it weren't for this uncertainty in my life. I've always had to be strong in my life and my inner battery is out of strenght. Against better judgement I just feel like giving in. Btw, for the past 3 hours I've been doing nothing but sweating.
After care would be something I'd have to hide.

[norcovic]

Going for a little drive guys, ttyl!

[ImDONENoMore]

I found driving in my car and screaming my head off to be SO therapeutic.  It felt crazy doing it, but it made me feel better.  And it was definitely better than screaming at home - my husband and dog watching?  No definitely not!!

I SO SO hope you're only driving, and not driving to the pharmacy for that script.  Please hold on a little longer.  You CAN do this even if you don't see that now, you CAN!!

[norcovic]

I can't even scream because the muscles in my back have to heal. The little drive did really help me and I even ate although nothing tastes quite right. Lots if this has to do with my inability to get active the way I used to. Sitting at home al day left alone with my thought isn't the best way to stay clean.
No worries, didn't get a refill. I will be happy with some xanax tomorrow though.

[norcovic]

Man I went through a rough couple of hours. Feeling way better now. Wish I could give each and everyone one of you a big hug! You guys are awesome!

[gnarly_1]

Good to here you made it threw your crisis .....last night I answered your other post and tonight I even feel stronger about it you need to get involved with aftercare google the local N/A meetings in your area this is 1/3 physical 2/3 mental the meetings can help you with the mental mindscrew we go threw....I agree with the others you need to cancel that refill or you will go get it and then you got to start all over again...keep in mind these withdrawals that are mild are an exception to the rule start treating the illness and work on getting well
we all want to see you succeed...............Gnarly