Snowdoveee & benzo WD's...

I am not sure if anyone here will remember a member that was here a while ago, her name was snowdoveee. well i just heard from her personally, the first time in months.  she has not been around or able to post, so she asked me to tell all of you why and what happened to her..this is her story the best i can tell it....
she is one of the sweetest ladies i have ever met...i met her about 5-6 months ago on this very forum, at the time she was addicted to benzos...xanax if i remember correctly. she was taking an extremely high dose at the time and was trying to taper , she was trying to stop the cycle of addiction even though she had real anxiety and panic problems, i spoke to her daily for quite a while, off the forum also.  then one day i didnt hear from her, days went by,and turned into weeks, then over a month had passed, still no word from Snowdoveeee, i was getting quite worried..about 5-6 weeks later, i received an e-mail from her daughter to inform me that snowdovee had a stroke and had been in the hospital ever since the last time i spoke with her...it was caused from her tapering off benzos...she had tried to cold turkey off them once before until i warned her of the dangers, so she started taking them again because of my warnings and decided at that point to taper with a doctors help...well from what i understand,(please excuse me if i am wrong Snow) she wasnt honest with the doctor about the amount of benzos she was taking probably out of shame?, embarrassment? stigma?,..whatever the reason, it didnt matter...she had a stroke and has life long problems from this, upcoming surgeries, a lot of work ahead of her, and days upon days of nothing but sleeping just to recover,..the doctors said she would be LUCKY if she is able to recover in a years time because of the damage of trying to get off the benzos...so anyone out there with an addiction to benzos, or just messing around with benzos or just starting on benzos...please head this as a warning...this is an extremely dangerous drug to get off...do not ever lie to your doctor about your meds, always be honest, do not be in a rush to get off benzos, it must be a slow process with a doctors help...you never know what these types of meds can do to you...this is not a post to judge anyone...
if you ask why i write this?
because i just promised this sweet lady, who is having a hard time typing that i would do this for her, i would put out her story about the dangers of getting off benzos...i promised her.
she wants everyone who is having ANY issues with benzos to please. please take this as a warning and get the proper help, you could end up paying for this for the rest of your life....
PLEASE BE CAREFUL!!!!

[CleandUP]

Wow this is sad. I hope she is alright! My roommate takes klonopins because he is bipolar and I know he takes a couple a day. I have warned him of the dangerous addiction of benzo's but he doesn't seem to listen. I guess he puts a good point on it, either he takes them and forms a habit, or doesn't take medication and suffers from his disease. I guess only time will tell because he obviously has a tolerance (taking a couple a day). It would be a shame if he needed to increase the dosage.

[wait2long]

another point she did make to me was to make sure if anyone is taking them because they simply have to in order to avoid their anxiety and/or panic...make sure they are taken exactly as prescribed, DO NOT deviate from the prescription in any way.......... . we both understand people NEED these meds...trust me, i am one of them, but now i am scared s h i t less over this....

[allaboutmary]

This is so sad. Please send her our love if you talk with her again.  She will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[watermom]

this is so very sad......I will keep her in my thoughts.

[lostmarbles]

my DOC was xanax... and what you just wrote has really struck a chord with me. I was prescribed the meds from a doctor 3 years ago as I was having anxiety and sleepless nights etc plus a mini nervous breakdown.. before too long i was addicted and like your friend i started taking way too many.. when i came on to this site it GoingToMakeIt who advised me to go see a doctor to help taper me off because of the dangers of siezures on benzos.. thanks to him I did and tapered successfully, I owe him a great deal... thats such a sad story, I feel sad now... and im so sorry for your friend, for you, for her family... I wish her well and thank you for telling us her story.. I will be forever thinking about her and praying for her.. that has really touched me. Thank you for sharing that with us..

[wait2long]

I am so so glad you were advised to get the proper help...this is great news and will make snow happy to read this....to know that people are aware of the dangers...
huge congrats to you....
~~HUGS~~

[lostmarbles]

Please, please tell your friend that she is in my heart and prayers... what you have shared will be a great help to many that really do not know the dangers of benzos. I for one had no clue and I was on them for 3 years.. imagine.. no clue until I came on to this site.. i know many drugs have dangers behind them but one would think that coming off them would be a doddle.. i certainly didnt know anything, only that after a while the benzos were not doing their 'job' and so the cycle of addiction begins and you start to self medicate.. the irony is that benzos are only meant for short term 2-4 weeks max.. the dr prescribed them for 3 years, even when I was so obviously taken more than the dose required the dr still gave me more.... hugs right back at you...

[avisg]

wait ,
Thank you for sharing ,snowie as well .I hope she gets better .This is one of the reasons I stress so much talking to the doctor and tapering . benzo withdrawl (withdrawal) can not be done CT

[wait2long]

and this is why she wants EVERYONE to know her story and to get the proper help...it is so VERY important!

[lostmarbles]

since cleaning up from the benzos I actually have feelings again... benzos are one of those meds that totally numbs you and so now my feelings have come back with a vengeance but its all good..... I have a great dr now who has supported me through all of this and he wanted me to file a report on the last one who prescribed the meds to me for so long but you know life is too short and I just want to be able to get on with it... I have learnt a grat deal though and made lots of great new friends

[wait2long]

great news hun...keep up the great work....

[lostmarbles]

thank you darling... how are you ? you must be sad for your friend.. do you visit her often now?

[lostmarbles]

i think it is one of those meds that really should be taken off the market (like alot of meds actually) but obviously benzos are those types of meds that can kill you by trying to get off them... i know someone whos heart nearly seized on him and he only took them for 6 weeks at only 1mg (the usual prescribed dose) iwould recommend that no one take them or if they do then to take them for the maximum 4 weeks and 4 weeks only...

[wait2long]

we have never met in person...although she doesnt live far from me...we were just internet buddies...i miss the talks we had though...i hope she will be well enough so we can continue the conversations..
i am ok..just feel so bad that she has had to suffer like this while trying to get her life back.

[lostmarbles]

so sorry to hear... well, she has a wonderful friend in you! of course you miss the talks you had im sure.. i tell you, I have made some fabulous friends on here and yes although none of us have ever met, I hold you all very dear to my heart.. if something like that happened to any of you guys my heart would break. She is very lucky to have you, and she sound like a great person.

[Goldrush1971]

This is my first time posting on this site but I’ve been reading it regularly for a few months now. I started reading it because I am definitely an addict. I was taking 10 to 15 Norco’s a day for about 3 years.... I finally had enough of it and went to a doctor in my area that is certified to prescribe Suboxone…… I can honestly say, I truly believe Suboxone is a miracle drug…. But that’s not the reason I’m commenting….. I recently decided to tackle my second addiction…Smoking… I spoke with my Primary Dr about my wanting to quit… He recommended that I take Xanax… I have no experience with Xanax and have never heard of it being prescribed as an aid in quitting smoking…. Now I read this post… It scares the s h i t out of me... Considering my addictive personality, do you (anybody) think it’s a good idea to even start taking… The dose he put me on is .25mg dose twice a day…. So basically.. .50mg a day…. Again… after reading this post, I question whether or not I even need to mess with these little Xanax pills… Sound like trouble…    

[lostmarbles]

all ican say about the dreaded xanax is that it is addictive, highly addictive and once addicted have to be tapered off and supervised!!! it is awful. I have never heard of taking it to quit smoking??? !!! and i am a smoker and i took it for 3 years... thats a little odd!! all im saying is that I did not go out of my way to become an addict and if you read the earlier posts that I wrote you will see that it was prescribed.. i recommend you do not take it especially if you are an addict.. i know someone else here who's mum takes it but not regularly.. about once a week when she has anxiety.. in that respect i think it's fine but certainly not if you are an addict... i hope this helps you... let us know how you go and keep posting! you have come to the right place, so welcome!

[Goldrush1971]

Thank you very much for your response... This forum is really a great thing... I think I will stay away for the Xanax... I just got one monkey off my back.... I'm not going to let another one get a grip.... I've read so many stories on here about addiction that sound so much like my own.... I'm going to try to do what I can to help..... Thank you.....I'm out of the shadows...

[flmagi]

This is really sad. Could someone please list some of the more commonly used benzos. I guess I'm somewhat drug illiterate when it comes to whats a benzo. I know I'm not on any but perhaps for someone else that may not know things like Xanax is a benzo.
Please send her our love and hopes for a fast recovery.

[lostmarbles]

Alprozolam/Xanax - one and the same
Diazepam
Tomazepam
Lexotanil/Bromazepam - one and the same

Anything with a pam at the end...

These are the ones I know of and commonley used. Benzos are basically given in patients who have stress related disorders ie, panic attacks, anxiety, insomnia (can't sleep) I hope this helps... they are all highly addicted and to come off them you need to be medically supervised. I stress this point hugely, they are addictive and dangerous and need to be tapered slowly.

[wait2long]

are you sure he didnt recommend "chantex".. this is a new drug to aid in quitting smoking...?  just curious, if not stay away from the benzos...seems like cigarettes may be the lesser of 2 evils here...good luck!

[wait2long]

just try to google benzodiazepam   and see what you get...maqybe that may list them all?  there are so many...

[wait2long]

sorry i was wrong..it is benzodiazepine  not "pam", in this case...

[kimmieb]

Tragic, tragic story.  I hate these benzos....and I hate the doctors who feel the need to prescribe them....and I had the diseases which REQUIRE benzos to be taken.  I was almost another one of those statistics about 10 months ago.  Back in April, I had a radical hysterectomy.  For years, I'd been on a small amout of ativan, taken religiously every night before bedtime, to aid with insomnia.  I had been on it for YEARS.  Well, long story short, I ran out, shortly after I got out of the hospital after my surgery, but with recovery and everything else topsy turvy after the surgery, I didn't think much about it.  At that point in my life, I was a little more naive about this drug and thought it was like any other -- being off of it for just a few days couldn't be THAT bad, right?  Just needed time to call me doctor for a refill (he knew I'd just had surgery and wouldn't be able to see him for a few more weeks, and he's always good at just refilling in cases like that).  WEll, nice doctor, he chose THAT time to decide no more refills until I see him.  I was out of the hospital 2 days, experiencing severe surgically-induced menopause at the age of 46, and was going through life-threatening benzo wd's (although I didn't know it at the time -- I thought ALL of the symptoms were severe menopausal symptoms!!!)  I was shaking, tremoring, chilled to the bone, no sleep  and I mean not a minute of sleep for nights and nights, until I took an ambien and got 2 hours.  Anyway, I finally put two and two together and figured out I was wd'ing from the 2 mg. of ativan I'd usually taken every night for the past years.  My husband called my doctor, who was rude on the phone to him and very cranky about calling in a prescription......even though I could have stroked out or worse, DIED!  Unbelievable.  Needless to say, I never stepped foot in that doctor's office again. Here he had put me on those benzos years ago and continued to write out prescriptions, month after month,year after year, then when it was REALLY critical, he decided no more.  I'm still not sure what triggered in him to behave like that.  All I know is that he told my husband he was still reeling from another phone call he'd just gotten from yet another husband of a long-time patient of his, and the husband was having an absolute fit because he just had to admit his wife to an in-patient drug facility to detox off of some drug that this doctor had been prescribing for her.  Still, as a DOCTOR, in his particular situation, he SHOULD have known better, wouldn't you agree???  It wasn't as if I'd ever abused the drug before.  Just took it as prescribed.  Anyway, it's a week of my life I will never, ever forget, as long as I live.  And, because of that terrifying, dreadful experience, I'm balking about trying to taper and eventually stop taking the lortabs I take for head and neck pain, too.  I can't help think of one potential wd without thinking of what I went through (unintentionally) with the other wd symptoms.  They were BAD.  They were worse than bad.  I was asking God to just take me then, as I was lying shaking and trembling on the couch after the 2nd or 3rd night.  Now, I'm scared to death to try going off the lortabs.  But, regardless, I just wanted to add that the story of this poor woman is tragic and is very real.  Benzos are not to be taken lightly.  I can speak from personal experience.  PLEASE PLEASE, if you do take them, just try to take them very responsibly, and if you feel yourself getting out of hand with them, talk to your doctor immediately so that he can get you back on track.  It's not worth stroking out or dying just because we're embarrassed to tell our doctor what we've been taking.  A truly good doctor would understand, maybe wouldn't be happy, but would understand (cuz it happens all the time anyway!!) and would take matters into his hands the way a doctor should.  Just don't go to the doctor I was seeing at the time.  Stay away from him!!!! :-(

God bless this woman and her recovery.....

[Goldrush1971]

Yes... I'm sure... I asked him what he would recommend and he mentioned both Chantex and Xanax.... He said he's has heard a lot of negatives about Chantex so he wasn't too confident in it..... I told him to write me a script for whatever he recommends.... He said "let’s go with the Xanax".... I actually have the script.... I've only taken a couple tablets... They don't seem to do much... I'm not  going to take anymore.... I just know how I am.......I just can’t go down that road again……. This Dr doesn’t know about my addiction problem... I should probably tell him.....

[lostmarbles]

I can so relate... your experience is awful too... I dont know why some doctors just hand them out as you said week after week, year after year.. they are truly dangerous... I just stopped my intake a few weeks ago not knowing the consequences of these meds and went in to complete c/t followed by severe w/d's not knowing what was happening to me.. after days and days of zero sleep i went back to the same doctor and asked for help - NOT meds, just help... she then promptly wrote another prescription of xanax out along with a script for sleeping pills as well as a script for anti depressants... i was begging her at this point saying i didnt want them but that i needed help for what I was going through, not realising I needed a taper plan of some kind but she was adamant i TAKE THEM ... i went home and woke up in hospital on a heart monitor because I overdosed... not intentionally but nonetheless it almost killed me.. i was unconscious for a few days and have no recollection of how and why... i can only guess that i was so distressed and dilirious at the state i was in trying to get through it, noy knowng what was happening to me that I think I just took the lot... its very frightening what these benzos can do to you... anyhow im with another doctor and have tapered off successfully and have been clean bow for 11 days.... just wanted to share that with you.

[kimmieb]

wow, that's wonderful that  you're finally clean off the benzos.  Me?  I'm still on them.  however, I've found a GREAT doctor who knows his stuff and has a very specific plan for "chipping away" at the ativan....slowly and successfully.  He said that the biggest mistake people on benzos make when they want to taper off is that they taper off WAY too quickly (not so much a fault of their own, but caused because some of these pills don't come in very large strengths to begin with,and trying to cut down a small percentage at a time is impossible -- in reality, with a benzo, you're only supposed to cut down 2% every week or two, so you can imagine the time it would take to really do it successfully!  Anyway, I'm looking forward to one day being off of these.....but my problem is, I'll still have the same presenting problem I went in to the doctor with -- complete insomnia!!!  

How do you now feel after 11 days off?  Are you able to sleep?  Was that ever an issue for you before (like before you started on the benzo)?

Thanks.....

[lostmarbles]

funny you should say that but I am awake now 48 hours straight... it seems that i do not sleep at all for a couple of days and then by the third night im like a zombie and sleep for 12-16 hours.. i have learnt now to not drive myself mad as I only get worse!! When i was 27 i was on another benzo, tamazepam, because I suffered from insomnia.. i took that for a year and came off it with no problem.. in fact to be honest I may have had a mild cold following my coming off it but no where near as bad as the w/ds i got from the xanax.... i am now trying simply to not wallow in my lack of sleep but instead keep myself occupied by being on this site, reading, writing, eating cereal !!, anything really other than get stressed about being awake...I know how crazy lack of sleep can make us.. when the doctor put me on xanax I had no idea it was a benzo, i certainly didnt know it was addictive until it started controlling my life... i went to see the doctor because I was suffering from anxiety, stress and insomnia!!! please let me know how you get on...

you can message me anytime xx

[VicUser]

Wait till you get old like me, tired by 10:00 and then up two or three times during the night. I think I would rather be up 24 hrs and then sleep well.

[lostmarbles]

hello again!!!! I like you.... if you and the missus are ever in the uk.. look me up... icant wait for sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!! you do make me giggle lots!!

[VicUser]

The sun will be coming up there soon won't it?

[lostmarbles]

its up already.... ive eaten a huge packet of cereal from last night!!!

[VicUser]

It's just past midnight here, and the weather is supposed to be rainy and then get cold again tomorrow evening. It was up to 14C today. I can't wait for spring to get out side and mow grass

[lostmarbles]

i love the smell of grass.... the mowing kind, not the smoking kind!!!

[VicUser]

Well, it's been many many years since I have smelt the smoking kind. But I get excited when it's time to start mowing and a little depressed when it's time to put the mowers away for winter

[wait2long]

BUMP!!!  i want everyone to see this...

[sadinmichigan]

Thankyou for being her voice. People really don't understand the seriousness of xanax and the rest of the benzo's. I saw a woman have a seizure at counseling because she had just decided she no longer needed them. It's tragicabout your friend. Please let her know that I will be praying for her and her family. I hope even one person heeds the advice.

[lostmarbles]

i have read so many stories here about taper plans off other meds.. and some include taking xanax to help them taper.. im confused by this as surely its going from one addiction to the other.. i simply dont understand..

[wait2long]

sorry guys, gotta bump again, i see a lot of posts asking about addiction to klonipins and xanax and other benzos...they need to read this...

[lostmarbles]

bump!!!

[wait2long]

bump again...
i want everyone to have the chance to see this...

[wait2long]

I have received an e-mail from snowdovees 3 daughters...they are amazed and are so grateful for the amount of love, care and support you people have shown for snow, even though most of you dont know her...they are EXTREMELY grateful!!!
thanks to all who responded to this post!!

[lostmarbles]

i hope your'e well... it's so good that they are letting you know how things are going for snow..please keep us informed of her progress and yours of course.. lots of love Mx

[wait2long]

BUMP