So stressed! How long until I get some relief?

[loveandlight05]

So I guess Thursday is a pretty informal court appearance. I just have to check in with a bailiff. I am so terrified about the initial prosecution offer. If it's bad, can we work toward a better one? I would really like to hear from those of you who have been first time offenders in a drug case. This whole thing makes me want to use. I need support

[toredofbeingtired]

I think i messaged u this but in short i not once but 3 different times after probation etc wrote and called in fake scripts they went 2 all the pharmacies and charged me with EVERY pill including birth control ended up with 31 counts i cluding ibu 800 and my LEGAL scripts i plead guilty cause if i didnt my lawyer said we would do trial then i would go to prison.. first time they offered me probation and fines.. on probation after a few months i did it again yes not wise but what this addiction will make u do i too swore i would never do it again i spent a night in jail for 1st time ever and was scared 2 death.. anyway i did it again got arrested they ran it together and started my probation over 2 to 5 years and added a butt load more fines and yes i did it 1 last time this time the judge asked if i have ever been offered rehab bexause obviously i had a problem no he wasnt happy but gave me rehab in patient and had 2 finish my probation which i did all successfully he was sure 2 let me know if he saw me again i was going to prison for a LONG time.. we r talking forged and called in scripts.. much more serious than going 2 a couple different drs.. i stayed clean over 3 years BEST time in my life in which we had 2 babies and i was soooo happy... the past couple years i have been stuck back on this merry go round starting pain meds from having babies and surgeries and of coarse got addicted.. been trying to stop almost a year i am soooooo sick of these pills i could never even write enough for anyone 2 believe i have 2 kids and the w/d is so bad i never make it more than couple days:( no matter HOW bad i want it and i want it.. NOW i just found out im pregnant so this complicates things soooo much i fear a misscarriage i have had 3 and cant do it again.. been in touch with 2 of my 3 drs..family dr..psych.. and waiting on my ob the 2 drs so far have said to just stop which is not safe i also absolutely will not go on methadone and have my baby born addicted so idk how this is going to go all i can do is pray that God keeps this baby safe and i can come off these thjngs FOR GOOD.. pretty sure i will ALWAYS remember the burden of trying to quit for a year knowing i am missing out on my kids fully since i feel like doing nothing but sitting in house and me and hubby havent had a relationship for over 2 years we both battle this addiction.. 1 thing i KNOW is after care will be a HUGE part of our life.. anyway dont keep stressing they r trying 2 scare u and u r ALREADY in prison and have been for a long time dont let them do that 2 you.. u r going to end up paying for this a million different ways.. including loosing your sobriety and missing out in your babies lives like u have been rather u know it or not.. u prob havent had 1 not 1 day of peace since this happened u need to let go and let God.. i too have been following your post since beginning and seen u and several others mention wanting a relationship with God i can personally tell u that is the BEST thing u will do..give your life to Jesus.ask for salvation what he died for me and for you to have.. find a church.. accept christ into your heart and give it to him this process (court) takes a LONG time it will keep being continued.. dont let them have all that time i would be 100% surprised if u did ANY jail time but worrying everyday is doing nothing except putting u in jail (in ur mind and life) and stealing everyday from u and your babies.. i was scared too but i refused to let it consume me.. i have also had a relationship with Jesus for MANY years..yes i have fallen short and made mistakes yes i still have a addiction but without God i would be sooo much worse off and i KNOW jail wasnt his plan for me.. having babies which wad always my dream that the drs said was impossiable was.. now its time for me to kick this one last time and put GOD number 1 again and live my life for HIS glory and i hope u do the same!! Keep us posted and i will be praying for you

[weaver71]

You are right ABN. I was sentenced to 3 years for a drug charge, felony Possession, transportation and distribution for sales. Drug Diversion program made it so I went to counseling, AA, and periodic court visits with urine tests. They suspended my plea, so no legal judgment was made, in the end I avoided the felonies and my case was dropped after 3 yrs probation and completion of required therapy and meetings. It could have been worse. They would rather have done money than pay to feed people anyway, I don't think this will be too bad, as long as you stay out of trouble from now on.

[ActingBrandNew]

Likewise Tony! Your one of my go to guys! And I feel you on the whole Texas wildcard thing....shoot, last time I checked I think they led the nation in executions and shortest stay on death row....yikes.

I just want people to keep in mind that the OP asked for peoples experiences in the very top:

"I would really like to hear from those of you who have been first time offenders in a drug case"

And that's what I did...gave my experience and experiences. Im just trying to put her mind at ease cus whats that saying, "worrying is a waste of imagination"

[weaver71]

I spent the night in jail in Sonora, Texas for having California Plates and going 10 miles over the speed limit at the same time. It was a replica of Andy Griffith jail in Mayberry. The cop felt bad, he said he'd of let me go, had he thought the judge would do that. He brought me a nice dinner and made me comfortable. I had driven all night and day and only had gas to make it to Austin, so I thanked the deputy for the hot meal and motel room for the night and headed out at sunrise. As annoying as it was at first, I realized it was all working out perfectly. Just wanted to share that.

@ABN, I pretty much agree with you 100% of the time, I just been dealt a wild card a few times in Texas. If I were a betting man, I'd probably bet the odds you are right on.

[dominosarah]

As i said before on this thread, Using got you into this mess, Not using will get you out of this mess~

[lulu747]

Hey Love-

I really REALLY REALLY think you should listen to Evan (ABN) here.  He does know his stuff.  I think you're just waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I strongly believe that it isn't going to.

You asked what to do about your stress.  I think that you are feeling all of these things because you are a control freak (takes one to know one) and the thing is (and I'm sure you are learning this in recovery) YOU HAVE NO CONTROL over the future.  You cannot change the past.  All that you have is this moment right now.

I would probably be a total basketcase in your shoes.  I completely relate to how you are feeling.  But it's not healthy.  And if I were feeling that way, I would go to meetings, talk about my fear.  I would spend time with people that make me feel calm and loved.  I would exercise.  I would take deep breaths and I would ultimately, hold on to FAITH.

You are not a bad person.  You have taken responsibility for your actions and your addiction.

You cannot continue to live with your life on hold.  SO just live.  Everything will play out the way that it's going to.  Nothing you can do right now is going to change it.  The only thing you can change is your own reaction.  So freaking hard I know.  But try.

I'm rooting for you girl.
xo
Lu

[ActingBrandNew]

Yes, I did jail time before going to prison. And before I did jail time....I was slapped on the wrist with probation....etc...etc....

Yes, Texas is its own when it comes to many things. Especially the many counties you mention. You make very good points....but even having said all that, I stand by my post above. Of course...its just an opinion piece....right? Take it with a grain of salt if you will....no biggie to me. Im just here tryn to help like the rest.

Yes, she could very well go to jail.....anything can happen. A meteor can hit my house before I finish this sente.......

.....no, Im ok. Im still here.¯\(ツ)/¯

Anyways...hopefully it all turns out ok for her. Im sure she is very stressed out about this. She has a good career she doesn't want to lose and most important she doesn't want to have to be away from the kids. I empathize completely and will continue to hold her and her situation up in prayer.

I can only emphasize to look for the hidden blessing in all of this.

[Ndetox]

You are so right! It's like that here in southern Alabama! Girl you should be ok. You are doing everything right! Keep a record of your meetings.. I'm sure you already are!

[weaver71]

I don't think you will do prison time, it costs too much to feed and house you and there are worse criminals that need a bed. Jail and prison are very different. I bet you did some jail time ABN, before you got that prison sentence. Some counties, like around Houston, Dallas, and Austin tend to be more lenient, while other counties give people the max every time they can. Even in rural Texas, I don't see prison charges, but wouldnt be surprised if a judge decides a lesson of a short jail visit is in order. They are truly Republican, each area lives by their own rules, mostly within the Fed guidelines, but not always. Texans aren't Americans, they're Texans. It won't be too bad though, it will be worth it, as it is making you realize just how messed up drugs can make your life. Let us know what the DA says.

[Merri123]

Attorneys usually argent the hour. So any type of work done I case is logged and billed by the hours worked.

[Ndetox]

It's crazy but where I'm from those blood suckers do the same thing.. Charge for a phone call. Not cool!!

[ActingBrandNew]

"Actuallyattorneyscharging for phone calls anda contact IS NORMAL. "

I'm sorry that's been your experience with lawyers.  I've good paid lawyers and public pretenders over my many legal battles and have NEVER been charged for phone calls...EVER! I almost feel like making a thread in the social forum with a list of them so nobody gets shafted like that..,jeez. I paid one of my lawyers 10 k to defend me...I'll be damned if he's gonna charge me for a phone call.

Personally.,,I don't think its normal but obviously it happens so I guess the moral of the story is shop around until you find an lawyer who isn't hurtin so bad financially they charge for phone calls. Shoot ALL my lawyers even accepted collect calls from the jail free of charge. Seriously!

[Merri123]

Actuallyattorneyscharging for phone calls anda contact IS NORMAL. I haven't met a good one yet who doesn't do this.frommyexperience her attorney is doing what they do. They'd them in weekly unless they have something to tell you. And a lot of the time it is by letter.

I don't think you will go to jail either. But I understand why you are downtrodden do stressed. I would be too. Just got to keep positive. At least things are moving along. Keep positive. You will be ok.

[gnarly_1]

Hi  im with actingbrandnew  your not going to go to prison on your first offense ..out her in arizona the will give you probation  you will be required to drop y/a's every week and most judges will give you a paper to get sighed at the meeting's so they will be required I wouldent loos any sleep over it  and if my lawyer told me he dont know if im going to prison I would fire him and get a new lawyer so take a deep breath go to several meeting a week and this will blow over keep posting for support and you will get threw this they are not in the bissness of breaking up familys................Gnarly

[Pat1956100]

Thanks for sharing this.  I really hope it helps.

[dominosarah]

Awesome post~

[ActingBrandNew]

I wasn't going to respond to this because it seems like no matter what anybody tells you...you are still stuck in your head stressing yourself out. I responded to your very first post about going to jail and posted all kinds of legal stuff  and obviously you didnt believe what I had to say then. I took a shot at it when it you just wanted someone to tell you it would be alright and you wouldn't go to jail cus your lawyer wouldn't tell you....I went out on a limb and said your not going to jail. I almost feel like you want someone to say yeah...your goin away.

So...I danced around responding to you but I will take one last shot at maybe putting your mind at ease. The only reason Im responding...again, is because you asked if anyone had been a first time drug offender and what happened....

So let me tell you...I know a little something about law because Ive been to prison MANY times. And let me tell you...they didnt send me to prison on my first....second...third felony charge. NO...they ALWAYS plea you down your first couple times in hopes they scared you enough with the thought of prison you will get it right. You are not under federal indictment which carries mandatory minimums for drug cases...no, you are charged at the state level where THE JUDGE HAS TOTAL SENTENCING DISCRETION. The DA only makes a recommendation IF...IF...IF...you are found guilty OR...OR...OR...you take a plea bargain. Example...the last time I went to prison was for 3 felony charges...THREE!!! I took a plea bargain and pled guilty and agreed to 6 years! The judge looked at my employment and gave me 2 years 8 months in which I only served 2 years 1 months. My 3 felonies were all fire arm related....worse than drug charges AND I had been to prison for other things...one being an armed robbery in the past.

YOU ARE NOT GOING TO PRISON.

Its not gonna happen.

The absolute worst case scenario is a suspended sentence of some sort stating if you screw up you will have to do X amount of time. No big deal if your planning on staying clean.

And your lawyer.....sheeeesh! Ive had public pretenders make themselves more accessible than than that joker you have working for you. Charging you for a phone call/email....who does that.

Look...trust me, Im writing this cus I care....but at the same time....you just have to step outside the situation and really look at whats going on. Like I told you before...you bonded out for 5k....5k!!! They dont let someone out on bond for 5k if they are facing prison time. Trust me! Theres not many things I know in life.....a little sports, drugs, and jail house law! You gonna be fine.

And did your lawyer tell you this...the time you are out on bond counts toward whatever time they give you. Watch...they are gonna say plead guilty to X and we will give you X days county jail TIME SERVED with probation. Something like that. Watch!

They are succeeding in scaring you that's for sure.

Look....Im from California where the prisons are overcrouded because there sending people away for riding a bike without a helmet (Not really...but you get it) I know Texas is pretty tough too...came to CA from Houston, TX....so I get it. But this is your first offense and its non-violent....your not going to jail.

You may have to accept a conviction on your record but its not the end of the world. You mentioned going to school and becoming a drug counselor. Amen sister...thats what Im doing....felonies and all.

So...maybe you believe me this time.....maybe not. God bless you though.

[Ndetox]

Your welcome! I hope you are feeling better!

[VICourageous]

Hi..I am sorry for what you are going through..All I can say is just keep up the faith and give into Time..With Time comes Patience..Everything will come out the way it will and it is not worth you having a heart attack over it..Just try to stay calm and believe it will be OK. I have been on here for a while and seen so many of these cases come out OK..SO try to stay calm and keep the Faith. You want to stay as healthy as you can..YOU are doing ALL the right things and have this on your side..Wishing you the best and my Prayers go out.
Bless

[loveandlight05]

He already responded to an extremely lengthy email today. I can't contact him every time I get like this. That would cost a fortune. I just want my life back so badly. This has to be what hell feels like. To answer the above comment, I am on possibly the lowest dosage of Zubsolv. I don't want to discuss that. It is probably the only thing keeping me from going completely off the edge as it slightly lifts my depression. I go to counseling and work other programs while using the Zubsolv. My psychiatrist and I feel it is best to keep me on it right now for various reasons. I don't mention it almost at all on here because I am happy with my treatment and know this is very debatable for others. I don't wish to be in the middle of such a debate. I do thank you for your concern, though.

[Ndetox]

Hey girl! I'm new here but I went back and read your whole story. I'm detoxing right now and it did help the time go by:) Anyway I know that you stressing about this is useless. I know that's not what you want to hear. I remember one post talking about maybe wanting to explore a relationship with God? Did you get saved? The reason I ask is because Jesus can give you a peace that surpasses all understanding! I'm posting this from a place of love and concern. The more you think about how bad it could get the more your going to think about using. Have you started taping from the sub yet? Be careful with that stuff.. I'm sure you have been warned. If your still taking 8mg a day it is useless to toy with the idea of using pain meds cause they won't work. This comes from personal experience. Yeah I can be a real dumb dumb;) Take a deep breath and know that everything is going to work out like its suppose to. Praying for you. --Jess

[Merri123]

This is what your attorney is for. He will guide you through offers and all.

[dominosarah]

Using got you into this mess, NOT using will get you out of this mess.